You See Her, All of Her
by ac2790
Summary: Brittany is living in Kensington, Philadelphia. Better known as the Bad Lands. She goes to a party one night and finds herself with a certain Latina who happens to make her favorite brand of heroin. Still she's intrigued and knows the Latina is bad news. But she doesn't care. Because she sees into you and you see all of her, and Brittany's captivated. XX Major Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

****Just a warning this story will be very dark with some humor and romance. it deals heavily with drug abuse and addiction. Later themes include Rape Molestation and other things I'll let you know about throughout the story. Thanks for reading this story comes from a place of experience with my own battles with drugs. Hope you enjoy. Also I'm from Philly so if there's any slang or drug terminology you don't understand feel free to ask. I don't bite =]

You see her.

That girl.

Radiating amidst the party.

Gorgeous long, dark hair, caramel skin. She smiles. Though you can tell it's not real. Her eyes reveal the cracks in her soul every time her lips curve upward. You find yourself subconsciously getting closer. Intrigued. You know this kind of girl. Happy and gorgeous on the outside, but through her eyes and mannerisms, you see the turmoil that lies beneath the walls she puts up. More like a fortress complete with a mote and alligators.

A couple feet away you make eye contact. Everything stills and it's like looking at an animal you've never seen before and then wondering how you never knew about it before. She smiles a genuine smile. You notice a dimple on the left side of her cheek. Sold. Done. Over. You're captivated. You know its a bad idea to get involved with this sort of girl but you're sort of a masochist so you follow when she takes your hand and leads you into what seems to be an office. Whose house is this anyway?

What you don't expect is the bundle of heroin she pulls out of her bra and sets on the desk. She smiles up at you, as to ask, "you down?" Hell yea you're down. Pulling another chair up to the desk you realize the stamp on the square blue wax paper bag. Tom and Jerry. Your absolute favorite kind. You wonder if she goes to the same block in Kensington that you do.

She opens a drawer and pulls out a large square mirror, a gift card to JC penny, and a neon pink straw.

"i love JC Penney" is the first thing you say to her. She smiles such a huge smile that her perfect white teeth show and her eyes squint a bit. You feel like you need to see that smile again because it did something weird to you and you'd like to feel it again to try to gauge what the hell that was.

"Good there's about 300 on here let's go shopping tomorrow" she said

"I don't have any money."

"That's what the card's for silly. I wanna share, and I wanna share with you. Just like this dope here. Now let's party shall we?"

All you could do was nod. Nod and snort the huge line she laid out for you. Holy shit you love dope. Doing heroin, it's like finding true love every time.

After about three hours you have gone through at least 6 bags each. Leaving 2 more out of the bundle.

She picks the two bags up and hands them to you, leaving her fingers to linger on your palm a little longer than normal. She captivates you in so many ways. You give her a bewildered look as to why she placed the bags in your hand.

"So you don't have to worry about being dope sick tomorrow". She smiles that damn smile again and you can't help but smile back.

You try to shove them back in her hand but she resists.

"I can't take this from you it's your last two and plus you already let me do all the other bags and you're taking me shopping. I can't you've been too nice already. I don't want to take advantage of you like that cuz I barely know you and-"

She cuts you off by placing her hand on your forearm. Damn you were rambling, how embarrassing.

"You're cute. And don't worry about it there's plenty more where that came from….I kinda make it" she said sheepishly ducking her head down.

"Wow you make my favorite bags they are the shit you must be some sort of heroin magician" You laughed, cuz what are the fuckin chances?

"Thanks it took a couple years of perfecting. One life was my first and then it went on from there. Now I have buyers all through Kensington and some of Camden."

"Wow. How did you learn, is it hard?"

"That's a story for another time sweets, oh by the way I'm Santana"

You snort another line before extending your hand.

"Brittany"

"Nice to meet you Britt Britt. That's one of my favorite names. Shows innocence on the outside, but inside you're a wild girl. I love wild girls" She says with a wink.

Bad news. Bad news. Bad news. You keep telling yourself but your heart is winning the battle and you find yourself blushing embarrassingly turning as red as Santana's dress…ohhh that dress. Those curves. Those eyes. Oh shit she caught you staring.

"You're cute" she says with a smile and when you see that damn dimple you're done for.

"Huh uh thanks. Y-your cute too" face palm. Smooth Brittany, smooth.

Santana then licks her finger slowly and wipes off the remaining residue off of the mirror. She slowly brings her finger to her lips and sucks the remaining power off while looking you dead in the eye. You swear you died for a second. She smiles again, that damn smile, and you can't help but smile back. The biggest, dorkiest, smile in your arsenal. It would be embarrassing really if the same smile wasn't being reciprocated back with equal force.

"Here put your number in my phone so we can go shopping tomorrow"

You happily take the phone wanting so much to see this girl again. She's so mysterious yet feisty at the same time. You need to know this girl. You want to know about every scraped knee, heartbreak, and family life. But most of all you want to know what makes this girl so guarded and broken inside. Never before have u been able to have a conversation with just a simple look with someone until her. She sees into me, and u see into her so clearly it's frightening.

You give her the phone back with a grin.

"Where's your phone so I can put my number in yours?"

"Oh shit sorry, here"

With a giggle she entered the number and hands the phone back to you.

"I'll see you around 3 tomorrow is that cool?"

"y-yea t-three's fine"

She get up close for a hug and whispers "so damn cute"

And with that she sways her hips to the door and before opening it looks over her shoulder and throws you a wink. Then you're left alone in some random office with two bags of the best heroin in the city and the person who make's it's number in your phone. Not to mention the shopping spree she's taking you on tomorrow. You know she's trouble. But you love trouble after all. If you didn't you wouldn't be a heroin addict living in the city with 5 junkies in a house with bars on the windows and surrounding the front porch. You walk the streets of Kensington, Philadelphia, the Bad Lands they call it, alone searching for a fix even though you know there's a rapist out there named solely after this very city.

But you don't care. You don't give a fuck. You haven't for a while now. Not since well, you know, fuck that you're not gonna think about that right now.

You put the bags in the pocket of your skinny jeans making sure they're secure you go thru your checklist before leaving. Cigarettes, cell phone, wallet, keys, lighter. You've been doing this your whole life. Except the items to check have changed over the years.

You exit the room and decide it's time to get going home. Plus u have a big day tomorrow and with all the dope you just did your gonna be dipping off for a while, putting even more burn holes in your comforter. "Tomorrow I step into the unknown" you say to yourself before putting your key in the door and are greeted by the usual bodies lying around the smell of stale booze and weed permeating the air.

Empty bags and syringes laying on the make shift coffee table made of wooden crates and a large mirror sitting on top…. the ultimate place to get high. You don't shoot. Never wanted to. I mean you thought about it watching how deep some of your IV user friends dipped out of consciousness. But then you noticed how fast it was over and how much dope was used for just one shot. No thank you…you like to get the most of your shit.

You go upstairs and open the door to your room. Which really is like a closet with a single mattress in the corner, an end table with a lamp and several duffle bags lining the walls. This is all you own. That and the drugs in your pocket. You get undressed leaving only your panties on and find a big t-shirt that says legalize it on it and put it on. Sitting on the bed you lay out a bedtime line for good measure… You think of her. Santana. As the sweet, sweet powder shoots up Your nose and gives u that rush you crave. Awaiting the bitter but welcomed drip down your throat. You sit on the bed and light up a cig. Of course you start nodding off immediately. Santana makes some good shit. Before you burn another hole into your comforter you put the cig out in an old coke can. Turning off the light and getting as comfy as you can on this mystery mattress you found. You think of her. Santana, Santana, Santana. You could get hurt. But for some reason this time you're willing to take the risk. You'd give anything to make her smile again, because honestly you could give two shits about yourself.

…

Brittany wakes up to screaming from somewhere in the house. She slowly walks into the hallway and peeks downstairs to see a muscular man with a mowhawk wielding a metal baseball bat screaming at her friend mike.

"You better get me my fuckin money you damn junkie or Lopez herself will come down here and hurt you so bad, that you'd wish you woulda sucked cocks to get the money."

He flinches like he might strike. But pulls back and laughs when he sees the cowering posture of Mike.

"I'm sorry ok. I'll get you the money just give me some more time"

puck throws a baggie at him and sneers.

"Motivation to get your ass going. A dope sick fiend is useless."

And with that he left without another word. And all Brittany could think was who the hell is this lopez chick. And then she walks down the steps as Mike's preparing a syringe and notices the stamp on the wax paper bag.

Tom and Jerry.


	2. Chapter 2

**** This story will get very dark. Just warning ya hope you enjoy!****

Also EXTREME drug themes and drug abuse, violence rape and more may come

Santana wakes up that morning with a headache and the permeating smell of chemicals wafting through her house. The lab is in the basement and out of use so she wonders what the fuck is going on. She rolls out of bed noticing the half smoked cigarette laying on her comforter inside a rather deep burn hole.

"Not again!" She thinks to herself. The covers are littered with burn holes from years of dipping off with a cig in her hand. "No wonder I haven't set myself on fire yet" she ponders. Thank god for fire safe cigarettes huh?

Lighting up her morning cig, she spreads out a line on her end table next to her bed and snorts her morning line. The drip almost instant. And for a second she forgets about the smell coming from the basement.

Without fixing her hair or anything she runs down to the smell, and what she sees causes her to see red.

"Puck, what the fuck are you doing down here messing with my shit. It's taken me years to perfect this shit and if you fuck it up I swear these will be the last tits you will ever see!"

"Whoa, whoa, Lopez, a little feisty this morning I see. I was just checking on whatever you had brewing since you nodded off before turning off the Bunsen burner."

"Well you could have woken me up first you know I don't like people touching my shit. Tom and Jerry is like my baby. And if you fuck with my baby, I fuck you up."

They exchanged glares before bursting out into a fit of laughter. Smacking him on the back if his head, Santana begins to survey the expanses of equipment and vials. Mentally checking off that all is well. Then she goes back into the "green room" they call it to check on her other babies. 12 plants of various strains from Kush to Northern Lights. She touches each one with a gentle hand, as only a mother would survey a scrape on her child's knee.

"All looks good Fuckerman. You're lucky, now you get to keep your balls."

She continues clipping off the mature buds and hanging them to dry.

She turns and catches him checking out her ass and throws a bag of soil at his head.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm gay it ain't gonna change so stop lookin at something you can't have. Go chase that blonde bitch you were drooling over last night."

"What about the blonde bitch you were drooling over last night Lezpez? Did you show her a good time?"

Rage fills her eyes and she doesn't know why she cares but she does.

"She's not a bitch don't call her that. She's the sweetest person I've ever met"

"Wow you do have a heart after all"

"Fuck you. Now if you don't mind I have a date with that certain blonde. Oh and did you get the money off the Asian, cuz if Hudson doesn't get it soon he's gonna hurt Santos, he supplies my ingredients and I supply him with the shit, and if he doesn't get his money. My brother doesn't get to eat, and if that happens your ass is MINE PUCK."

" I went there this morning and scared him. He's definitely getting that money. Santos will be fine San and soon. hopefully free from Hudson's basement."

He snickers at the thought of the face on the Asian junky. "my job is so fun" he thinks to himself.

"see you later Lopez. Good luck on your date with Blondie."

"Fuck you"

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Mind still reeling from the morning ruckus, Brittany decides to prepare for the date with Santana. If she makes the bags she must be the Lopez the guy was talking about. Is she some type of drug lord? If she is it doesn't matter. She could be a terrorist and Brittany wouldn't care. She could be Scarface and I could be her lovely lady. She thinks. Lost in her thoughts she decides to take a shower.

Right before she steps in her phone starts ringing and notices it's Santana.

"Hey there" she says in a seductive voice.

"Hey yourself. How are those bags treatin' you gorgeous"

Brittany blushes at the sexy raspy voice on the other end.

"Treating me very well. I was actually just about to hop in the shower to get ready for our shopping spree."

She can her the other girl gulp on the other end of the line.

"So your naked I take it. Thanks for that image I might have to run over there and take a look myself."

"Hahaha. Pretty cocky I see. But with that body you have, I see you have you have a reason to be."

"I've got a gift for you for when I pick you up. Text me the address and I'll be there in an hour."

With that Santana hangs up. A smile so big you could fit coins in her dimples.

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Santana pulls up to the house in her black camaro with red racing strips on the hood. She texts Brittany to let her know she's outside. Then looking at the house that looks like it should be condemned she can't fathom how something so beautiful can reside in this shanty of a house. Broken from her thoughts she sees her blonde walking out the door. Black skinny jeans, high top converse, and a tight white tank top that puts her cleavage on display. Her Blonde locks flow with the wind and it's like one of those cheesy movies where everything slows down.

"get it together Lopez you're a bad ass not some sappy little bitch" she says to herself. Brittany finally comes to the car and opening the door she smiles that damn smile that makes Santana feel like a stupid hopeless romantic. And she feels something in her stomach but refuses to call it butterflies and settles with taking the feeling as needed another line.

Britt finally gets in and everything in the world seems right again.

"Hey San, I'm so excited to go shopping!"

"Haha. Me too Britt Britt. Would you like a bump to start the day off right?'

"Pshhh is that even a question. I need it since this dude came in this morning yelling and waking me up cuz my roommate mike owes some Lopez lady some money and completely ruined my high."

With that Santana's eyes go wide.

"u-um I'm Lopez. Santana Lopez. But he doesn't owe me that money he owes it to Hudson. I'm just the cook."

"H-holy shit. Why did the guy say your name though?"

"Because people are more scared of me than Hudson because I supply it. If they think they're pissing me off they won't chance it cuz I'm the one who makes it and in turn I'm the one who can take it away."

"ok. At least your honest San. Now let's get going I wanna see you in the sexy panties I'm gonna pick out for you." And adds a wink

"See I told you the name says it all. Sweet AND Wild"

They then each do a line in Santana's Camaro. She has respect for Britt. Most people would gasp at how cool the car is but she just take it in stride and seems more interested in the girl within the car instead.

"Alright Britts let's embark on this adventure

Authors note. Let me know what you guys think. I'm mainly writing for myself and pulling from my own life experiences of drug addiction. but it would be cool to see if any one can relate and if you like the story. thanks everybody

-Leesh Leesh


	3. Chapter 3

I hope you're all enjoying this story. let me know what you think. PS I wrote the poem in the beginning. Should I add more poetry to the story?

I see this path

of broken glass

of icy snow

and a shattered past

I see this bridge thats in the clear

but oh I would never ever go here

it's easier than the below

but I still wanna get high ya know

i've been on the path all this time

the blood from my feet can be sublime

I'm so used to the icy trail

especially when there is cocaine hail

I'm so used to the struggle

my insides just love to smuggle

the pills into my stomach my nose

I can feel the shattered glass in my toes

up on the bridge you are high

but not how you are on drugs oh why

cuz way up there with the normal folk

they ingest happiness in bulk

no drugs aloud up on the cloud

just mothers fathers and brothers that are proud

on the path there are savages

and smokable cabbages

snortable powder

inhaled with shattered glass straws

mushroom sandwiches

and acid on cavern walls

so who wouldn't take their chances down low

when you could get high by eating the snow

the bridge seems so dry but in the worst way

I'd rather treck through shattered glass

because I'd like to get high today

-AC

Shopping for the both of them was insanely fun. Every once in a while they would sneak into a dressing room and do lines off of the seat that comes in every dressing room. Some off of each other's stomachs as they donned the lingerie the girls have picked out for the other. Brittany can feel her body heat up as Santana rests her hand on her hip while snorting the line off the other girls stomach.

Then a knock comes on the door of the changing room followed by a yelling old woman judging by the Velcro shoes she dons on her feet.

"What the hell are you doing in there other people need to use these rooms too god damnit!"

Then Santana loses it.

"Shut up you old dumb bitch. Not even the mirror in here is in a rush to see you trying on your fuckin granny panties. In fact I'm pretty sure it would shatter at the sight, and just that mental image alone has me questioning my being a lesbian!"

With that the lady walks away muttering something under her breath as Brittany just turns into a fit of giggles.

"San that was mean. But it was so hot."

For once Santana blushes. What is it with this girl? She's making me soft. Get it together Lopez.

After the bag is gone the girls make their way back through the store. But when they check out Brittany notices the total goes over 300 and begins to protest.

"San I can put some stuff back. We went over the limit, and yea lemme go just put some stuff back ok I'll be right back just wait for-"

Santana cuts her of by placing a finger to her lips.

"Don't worry about it sweets. I wanna take care of you. Uh uh I mean it I wanna take care of it. So don't worry your pretty little head ok?"

"ughhh you're so stubborn saaann" she whines but it only furthers the feelings Santana has nestled inside of her. How can someone so adorable live in the bad lands and be a junkie? She's special she thinks. As special as those bright blue eyes and flowing blonde hair. I just hope I don't hurt her. It's in my blood to do so.

They pay and head out to Santana's car. She opens the door for Britt and as she's circling the car to get to the drivers seat, her phone rings. Hudson appears on the caller ID.

"Hudson. What do I owe the pleasure?" she says inwardly groaning. Great fucking timing.

"Oh Lopez ever charming. I need my new shipment and I need double twice as fast. By 3 on Friday."

"Are you fuckin crazy it's already Tuesday! How the fuck am I supposed to do that?"

" Well you better cop some coke and stay up for days and get it finished. Or do you not remember I have your little brother and it would be all too easy for him to go missing."

"Fine fuck you Finn. I'll have it and you better not touch him or I'll blow you a new ass hole!"

"Ahhh I love it when you get all feisty. Get to working Lopez my finger's itching to pull the trigger."

And with that he hung up. All the while Santana didn't notice that Brittany had been listening. Great fucking great. She gets back into the car to be met with a bewildered Brittany.

"what was that all about?"

"I just have to make a batch for Hudson in half the time I need"

"Well I could help you if you want. I mean you did buy me all this stuff so I kinda owe you and-"

"No, no Britt it's ok. Oh and I got a gift for you."

She pulls out a bundle of heroin tied together with a black rubber band each donning the Tom and Jerry stamp. And the she pulls out a straw but it's made of glass and connected to a yarn necklace. Sensing her confusion Santana is compelled to explain.

"the glass thing. It's called a Snooter. It's like a permant staw and it's perfect to scrape residue from. Uh um do you like it?"

"I love it san sooo much I'm always loosing my straws and now I wont because it will be attached."

With that Brittany leans over and kisses her. Showing all her appreciation through her lips. Brittany doesn't know what she did to deserve such and amazing woman to come into her life. They end the kiss with a haze in they're eyes. Both content and blissful.

Santana clears her throat

"Um be careful with that dope. I didn't cut it so it's pure so please promise me, you will take it easy cuz if anything happens to you it's all my fault ok sweets?"

" Ok San I pinky promise"

She then held up her pinky to Santana who took it while once again thinking "too damn cute"

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They pull up to Brittany's row home on the Corner of 4th and Indiana street. They linger in the car a bit just smiling at each other until Brittany speaks.

"Hey San come in with me. I wanna share some of this with youuuu"

"Is this just a ploy to get me into your room Britts cuz all you had to do was ask haha" She follows with a wink and Britt gives her a playful slap on the arm and drags her into the house.

Santana notices the bodies layed out everywhere and all the needles and empty bags and that's when an asian boy starts screaming.

"Oh my god Britt you brought Lopez here!"

"Lopez who's that?" Playing dumb.

"The crazy bitch holding your fucking hand who wants to kill me!"

Then Santana speaks up.

"I'm not the muscle buddy he just threatened you with my name cuz I'm scarier than Hudson. How much money do you owe him?"

"uh uh uh…500?"

"ok well as a piece offering I'm gonna give you 600 and to make sure you don't spend it on more dope rather than paying him back and getting your kneecaps broken, I'm also going to give u a bundle."

But in the back of her mind Santana knew she wasn't doing this for the Asian dude. She was doing it so Hudson got his money and so Santos could eat. She'll do anything for her brother.

"Holy shit thank you so much you just saved my fuckin life. If you had a dick I'd totally suck it." He laughs

"under one condition. You ever get Britts into shooting that shit I will personally shoot you in the knee caps."

And with that she walks up the stairs with Brittany into her closet-like room. It's cute and bright through with pastel colors on the walls and random drawings in chalk spanning the wall the bed is pressed up against. And on the bed is a stuffed unicorn. Adorable she thinks. Ugh this girl will be the end of me.

"That was really nice what you did for Mike down there. You're sweet San, I like you."

"I like you too Britt Britt. Now let's get this party started."

Both of the girls went line for line seeing who would nod off first. Unfortunately they kind of tied and ended up nodding off together cuddled up with each other. Completely oblivious to the fact that both their cigarettes have burnt yet another hole into Brittany's comforter. But each knowing the other has burnt an even bigger hole in the others heart. Ready to spread a wound called love. If only life was that easy.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone. Hope you're enjoying the story. But please leave a review to let me know if it's any good and if I should continue writing. I'm not gonna be like some others and bribe you for reviews because that's just not the type of chick I am. I just love writing and would like an honest opinion because this story is very close to my heart. And you know how it is with friends and family they just say everything is great but strangers actually tell you how they feel. Thanks again for reading it means so much to me. Hope you all are having a great day.

-Leesh

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Later that night….

Santana's POV

I woke up before Brittany so I placed a kiss on her cheek and made my way out the door. If I don't start this batch soon it won't be finished and I refuse to let Finn hurt my brother. Santos is so kind hearted but he got in with the wrong people, and when he tried to get out, I had to make a deal with the devil himself, Finn fuckin Hudson. For someone so dumb it amazes me he has his own drug empire and goons to go with it. So to protect my brother I agreed to stop working for myself and become Hudson's personal drug making bitch. He knew I made the best shit in all of Philly and he knew my brother wanted out of the whole thing. So to gain power over me he searched me out and made me work for him instead. I know what you're thinking. Call the cops. Yea bullshit. Cops won't even save you from Finn, even god himself seems to cower under his army.

So I hop into my car and head back home in search of the coke I made last week. Usually I don't like coke I'm more of a heroin girl, but the job calls for energy and cocaine's middle name is energy.

I finally get home. Puck is passed out on the couch as usual even though there are several bedrooms in this place. But I guess he just ended up dipping off there while Cops still plays on the tv. I make my way into my room. It's red and black like my car. Sensing a theme here huh? I find my secret safe and punch in the code to reveal a plethora of drugs, money, formulas, and a list of people who owe me money. But most importantly a picture of me and Santos in front of Puck's apartment age 16 and 8. The last picture before all went to hell again.

Finally I find the coke. Ughh this is gonna be a long night. I have to make two kilos of pure heroin by Friday, like what the fuck does he think I am a machine.

Maybe Puck can help, since he's kind of my apprentice and more on my side than Finn's. I walk downstairs to see him in the same spot. But instead of cops the TV has magically turned to porn. Stupid ass. I slap him on the back of the head to wake him up.

"you better not have ordered that shit or your not only paying for it but you will also not have a working dick anymore!"

"Shit San why the hostility. At least it's lesbian porn and we can watch together."

"Fuck it. I don't have time for this. I got an 8 ball of coke with your name on it if you can come to the lab and help me make Hudson's order"

With that he sprung up from the couch and literally ran to the basement.

When we started it was about 7PM. Now it's about 3 in the morning and we are almost done the first kilo. I guess Puck is good for something. I teach him what to do but don't show him any of my secret techniques because, well he's my lesbro and all but a girls gotta have some mystery and if I let everyone know my technique there would be no reason to go to me at all. And I wouldn't have this bangin' ass house in Rittenhouse Square.

Ten hours later and we've finished the first kilo. Thank god, all the coke we did was making me grind my teeth and be more of a bitch than I usually am. I dismiss Puck with a bag of dope and a joint to bring him down off the coke so he can sleep.

"you know San you're not that bad of a person. You even care if my sexy ass has a good comedown off this coke. What time do you wanna start again tomorrow. Seeing as I live here let me know when I can expect you to be screaming in my face."

"you're lucky I'm too tweeked out to punch you in the face. But since you asked oh so kindly. We can start around four. Good night Fuckerman."

"Night Lezpez"

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I went up to my room to do a line of dope and smoke a blunt so I could go to sleep but before I could I saw my phone blinking and opened it up to a text from Brittany

From: Sweets

Hey San I woke up and you were gone =[ hope everything's ok. I miss your cuddles.

So damn cute I can't get enough of this girl. I decide to text her back I don't wanna leave her hangin.

From: San

Sorry Britt Britt I had some cooking to do and didn't want to wake you. You're even more adorable when your asleep even though you drooled on my arm a bit =] I'll be busy most of tomorrow filling a big order but you're welcome to come over. Sweet dreams.

I finally got around to doing my line and smoking my blunt and drifted off to a deep well needed sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Sticks and stones may break your bones

But the wounds from words never heal

_You're walking down the streets. You just ate pizza at Charlie's Pizza with your parents. You miss your sister you wish she was there to carve her name into the wooden table covered with all sorts of initials and drawings and play pac man in the back. It's a perfect fall day. You pass and alley way and look sideways and are met with dark lifeless eyes. The man jumps out. Clothes tattered, hair a mess. And then you notice the gun. He's screaming but you can't hear much at this point. Your fathers telling him he doesn't have anything they are poor and living in Norristown, pa after all. your mother is crying, screaming to let them go. To save there baby. And then he looks over and smirks at you. He said he would take good care of you. And then you heard the shots….._

"nooo please don't! Stop please don't hurt them pleassseeeee!"

Holy shit I can't catch my breath those nightmares just never fuckin stop do they? I need a line. I take out the only four bags I have left and hold them like they are my children. I decide to just pour the whole first bag out cuz fuck it, it's gonna be gone soon anyway. Damn San hooked me up I got six fat rails on my end table. I think I'm fallin in love with this bitch. I laugh. She is the most interesting person in the world. There's so much I don't know and so much I wanna learn. Everything ever curve every scar the slope of her breasts the-

Lemme stop right there I'm getting a little hot. I forgot about my lines. Shit! I take two at a time and by the third I'm toasted I mean like other worldly fucked up. This must be like what rainbows feel like. Tingling goodness running under my skin. That's what this is rainbow tingly heaven with unicorns galloping on clouds and trees made of lollipops and bird baths filled with heroin. Ahh that would be the life. It makes me forget everything in this world. Forget about my parents being murdered being taken by that sick fuck and abused, taken away from my sister Bree.

I just wish to forget. So I go down the naïve road, ignorance is bliss. If I don't have feelings then there aren't ones to be hurt. I finally decide to go down stairs. Quinn and Mike are on the couch watching Reservoir Dogs. Tina's on the floor cutting a line on the coffee table, and Sam's on a rocking chair smoking a blunt.

"What's up Britt! How's the Latina? Sam shouts.

"fuck you sam. But if your aching to know, she's rainbow amazing."

"well shit I got nothing to say to that. All I can do is pass you the blunt"

we all laugh. I love mornings like this. I sit down and watch the movie snorting another line here and there.

Mike then calls me over

" you Britt what you got on your necklace?"

" it's called a Snooter. San gave it to me it's basically a glass straw on a necklace. It's fuckin awesome here look!"

I lay out another fat line and inhale the amazingness into my nose. Everyones intrigued now and take turns using it.

"wow that almost makes me wanna start snortin instead of shootin. So cool Britt. Santana's a bad ass bitch."

"No Mike, she's MY bad ass bitch"

I give him the sexy smirk and know its true. And I know im her bad ass bitch too so it's all good. Id be her bitch anyday. I like hand cuffs and spanking and kinky shit and-

Damn here I go again. I decide to go upstairs to pick my outfit for work tonight.

The more skin the more tips. Which also means more nasty dudes trying to grope me. Thank god for Karofsky though. He's the best bouncer ever. I've seen him throw a man across the room and he land right in the frame of the exit door, where the other bouncer Azimio opened the door casually in time for the man to land half in and half outta the club. I end up picking a black lingerie get up with red running throughout, tight booty shorts for my rockin ass, a garter belt that hooks to my fishnet stockings, and red 6 inch heels that make my legs go on for days. Yes big money tonight. I work at headliners. It's not too bad. It's where I found my first love, heroin, and my second love, money to get heroin. My boss Artie is a fuckin dick though trying to use his power to get pussy. Sometimes I wanna tie his arms behind his back and lock his wheel chair and leave him in an alley. But whatever it's a job and I get to dance. I love to dance. It used to be my rainbows. Until I lost that when I lost everything and then drugs became my rainbows. Speaking of drugs, another line shall we? I inhale it with the help of my new gift and lay back and the rainbows are there again.

My phone starts to ring and I notice it's my favorite Latina.

"Miss me already?"

"Oh you know it sweets, I'm totally obsessed."

"Good thing, cuz I think the feeling might just be mutual."

"You're a sweet talker Miss Pierce."

"hmm mayyybe. So what's up. You cooking today?"

" yup I was seeing if you could be ready in 20 min to get picked up by yours truly."

"of course. I just have to be at work at 10."

"What do you work at headliners or something that's a crazy time to start work Britts."

" u-um yea I actually do work there"

Fuck she's gonna think I'm trash now what the fuck ughhh I ruin everythi-

"That's cool I worked there for about a year before I started cooking. Do you know Holly Holiday?"

"Holy! Holy shit I love her. She has the best shit and always gives me free drinks. I can't believe you know her."

" yea she's kind of like an older sister to me. She's helped me out a lot."

I can't get enough of this girl. I'm officially stuck. Stuck on her like the cheese between the bread of a grilled sandwich.

"Well I can't wait to see you San. I'm gonna go get dressed. Bye San."

"See you in 20 sweets."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I decided to wear my sexiest jeans and a baby blue tank top to match with white leather vest over it. Sexy, San's gonna drool. Not soon after I was ready my sexy Latina was here.

I walked downstairs getting mumbled goodbyes and floppy waves from my friends and made my way outside. What I saw next went straight to my vagina. There she was in tight black skinny jeans, a short cut shirt that showed just enough of her abs to tease and the red of it just screamed sex. But to top it all off was the black leather jacket and stiletto healed thigh high boots. I think I'm drooling.

"Holy shit"

Fuck I just said that out loud. She's giggling that's good right.

"I could say the same to you sweets"

And then she threw me a wink. This girl is gonna be the death of me. But it will be the sweetest death. That of the feeling of the hot water on your skin for the first time as you step into the shower. That's San. She's rainbows and hot showers. And I wanna wake to her shower everyday and retire to bed with her rainbow resounding around every surface of my world.

She turns around and opens the door for me. She's so damn cute. But so damn bad ass. She would win a gold medal in Badassary if it were an Olympic sport. She gets in and reaches between my legs to the glove compartment. I might die. She's gonna kill me cuz when she touches me my body refuses to breathe normal. She opens the glove box and pulls out the fattest blunt I've ever seen. Like this thing is bigger than the original cigar it was made from. San's putting Cheech and Chong to shame. If she rolled that I'm proposing right now. I'll propose with the snoot she gave me. Shit I'm staring.

"D-d-did you roll that San!?

" yes I did sweets. Fuckin Crazy right. Now we have a bit of a drive so maybe we'll have some fun on the way there. There's a whole eighth of Master Kush in here. Mothered and grown by yours truly."

Her smile is so big she must love her little green babies. I wonder if they have names. I wanna name one.

"Do the plants have names?"

"the special ones do yeah."

"Can I name one san, pleaseeeee?"

she laughs and smiles at me. A real smile and her brown eyes are so warm and I could stay in them all day. They're like hot chocolate.

"Yes Britt you can name as many as you want."

I lean over and kiss her cheek and linger there for a bit. She feels so good. I wanna feel more. But then again she's dangerous to get involved with.

We then reach the house. It's in a section where it's actually not stuck to another house and it's pretty fuckin big for being in Philly. We put out the blunt that Santana must have learned to roll from the Hulk himself, and made our way up to the door.

In side was pretty normal, a pretty big living room with normal semi worn couches. Some guitars were set up in stands next to the flat screen and all types of paintings were scattered throughout the walls. I stepped close to a charcoal painting of a naked woman sitting down with her back facing the viewer cross legged leaning to her right side leaning on her arm. Her left leg peaks out a little bit from lose pretzel like pose of her legs. Her hair flows down her back and you can see just the beginning of the crease on her backside. Then I saw the signature. S. Lopez.

I didn't realize San had walked up behind me.

"do you like it?"

"yes is beatifullll. Did you really draw that San?"

"yup it's one of my favorites. I painted right after I ran um ran into a friend. Yeah."

"cool"

She showed me the house and all her bathrooms and shit and then her bedroom. It was sexy just like her, and also with a black and red theme. She's addicted to colors I think. Then we go down to the basement or what she likes to call "The lab" and it looks like the set of Bill Nye the Science Guy. And then I'm met with a drooling man with a Mohawk sitting leaned forward on a crate.

Santana slaps him in the head.

"Get the fuck up Puckerman I don't want your disease infested drool getting in my batch!"

"Whoa Lezpez I was just resting my eyes. He looks around. "who's blondie over there?"

"I'm Brittany. What's up with that thing on your head?"

"hahahaha Britt you're awesome you hurt Puck's ego already."

"Fuck you Santana. My ego is bullet proof bitch."

I leaned over and whispered in San's ear

"I wanna shave it"

Leave any suggestions comments or critiques if you would like. An outside opinion is always like gold. Hope you're enjoying the story. Have a great night! Also I'm from philly so if you don't understand the slang or any terms I use feel free to ask. I know I talk weird and im cool with it. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey whoever's out there. Thanks for reading. Just letting you know the story will be started to get very dark and angsty so im gonna warn ya now expect anything and everything in this story. If you want a feel to what the general disturbing level this will be on check out these movies. Descent starring rosario dawson. The girl with the dragon tattoo. Savages. And rent cuz everyone in here is a drug addict and live in the same shit ass town but with more violence and less singing and AIDS. No aids is always good I think. Well I just wanted to sufficiently warn you cuz everytime I write it's very dark and this is the first time I ever put anything online.

Also I'm writing as I go so if you have any ideas or suggestions shoot me your opinions in a message

Sorry for that long ass note I'll shut up now.

-AC

_Do not dig to which you blindly tunnel._

_For what mysteries lay beneath,_

_Are Pandora's box, in nature._

_-AC_

"Fuck you Puckerman, the Phillies are gonna win this year I guaran-fuckin-tee it. The 2013 line up this year is better than in 2008. They're gonna make the game of baseball their bitch. Kinda like you're my bitch, your life resembles Annie in some aspects."

Santana, Brittany, and Puck are all in the lab. Working away for hours. Santana and Puck bicker while Brittany laughs at there relationship dynamic. And then Puck and Brittany laugh at the face San's making while she concentrates.

"If I'm an Annie to you, than you're def an Annie to Finn. With a twist of you being the guy from taken trying to get his kid back but instead it's your brothe-"

"Really Puck, Really? You have know right talking about Santos! No right, no right, no right…." She trails off gritting her teeth and ending in a whisper.

Brittany is just stuck frozen in her chair not knowing what's going on but she knows what Puck just said. And if that's true her heart hurts for San. How can such a beautiful thing come from such ugly circumstance? Puck feels bad, but he knows she has that Puerto Rican temper.

"S-san I'm so sorry. I'm really fucked up and didn't think. You know I love him too. I'm just really sorry Tana. You can punch me in the face if you want just-"

"It's cool Puck I say dumb shit too. I just miss him that's all. I'm just um I'm gonna get back to work."

And with that she sat down at the finishing station to do the last step before packaging and stamping the bags. She works in silence cutting the pile of powder with fentynol her secret ingredient. Using playing cards she mixes the heroin and secret ingredient together by going side to side with each hand and then using one to make a figure eight scooping motion. She then begins to weigh out ten-dollar bags for Finn's street dealers. Using the cards she funnels the H into the blue wax paper bags. Until she feels arms around her body and a head on her shoulder.

"You're really cute when you make your concentration face Tana."

"Haha now you're calling me that too? Only my favorite people can call me that. Are you up for that challenge."

"hmmm. I love a challenge."

Santana actually blushes like a little girl. Like what the hell when was the last time that shit went down?

"um you uh wanna help be bag these B?

"I'll try but it's so confusinggg."

" Haha alright you can try and if you don't like it, you can watch."

"hmm I like watching. She says in a sexy voice.

Santana knows it. This girls gonna kill me. But it will so be worth it. She watches Brittany struggle to get the powder to funnel right and she has an adorable pout on her face. She turns and tilts Brittany's chin to the side and kisses her. Slow and deep. She pulls back and smiles that smile only brit brings out of her.

"What was that for San?"

"My body tends to do whatever it wants."

"I'm glad your body wants me."

"Damn I keep falling into your seductress traps sweets."

"That's the plan Tana" and she winks

Another damn blush comes to Santana's cheeks. When did she become such a dork?

"here sit on my lap and watch"

Brittany goes over and sits and San wrap her arms around her and starts finishing the bags. They laugh and flirt and share quick kisses. Puck sees the smile on Santana's face that has never been there before. He thinks about when they first met.

_Puck was walking through 30__th__ street station when he spotted a teenage girl and a younger boy shaking and dirty with bruises everywhere. As he approaches the girl sees red._

_"If you touch us or try to do anything I swear I will cut you motherfucker!"_

_Puck puts his hands up in surrender._

_"I'm trying to help I was coming to see what was up with you two"_

_"Sure you're just some nice person in the middle of this shit town and you don't want anything from me. Bull fuckin shit dude get the fuck outta here with you wack ass hair."_

_"Well I do want you to stop being a bitch and let me take you and the kid to my apartment because he don't look too good and I've been on this very bench you are hopin' someone did this for me. So I'm using the tiny bit of my heart I have and helping you even though you're a bitch."_

_"What's your name?"_

_"Noah Puckerman. Puck for short you?"_

_"Santana Lopez and this is my brother Santos. Oh and I like pussy so don't try anything or you won't ever have children,"_

_"haha got it, come on you smell like shit."_

"Hey ladies can good 'ol puck join you over there?"

"Get back to work you piece of shit!"

"Hey San I actually gotta get going to work. I had fun though. A lot of fun." She smiles. "do you have any coke I can buy to get through the night, you know how Headliner's is."

"No here, just have some. Yeah here's an 8 ball. That should last for a couple nights of work."

" San you've already given me so much I can-"

"Take it. I have so much. And you work so hard for your money I only sit down here and play scientist. Please take it."

"ughh your so damn stubborn fine."

She then gives San a kiss.

"Bye San, Bye Puck remember to feed the endangered animal on your head."

"You are in soooo deep Lopez"

"Shut up Fuckerman"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brittany walks into Headliner's and for the first time she's smiling. She wonders why Finn has her brother? She makes her way to the bar and as she's walking says hi to Holly and shoots back the tequila. Finally getting to the back dressing rooms she puts on her red and black Santana inspired outfit. And she looks good. Damn fuckin good. Taking out her drug kit. She grabs the coke and makes a good pile for her and her co-worker Sugar to share. She's got enough, Why not share?

There's a good gram layed out in fat lines and she calls Sugar over.

"hey Sugar I got some sugar for ya!"

"I fuckin love you Britt Yesssss!"

They both do their lines until Brittany get her cue to go on stage. "Welcome the sexy Phoenix Rose!" Her song starts.

_Bad girls die young_

_Bad girls do it well_

_Bad girls die young_

_Bad girls do it well_

The crowd loves her as usual, with her long legs, perfect ass and curves, not to mention blonde hair and blue eyes that should be illegal. She goes for three more songs and ends up making about 1500 dollars. Not bad she thinks. She goes back stage to freshen up when Artie approaches her.

"Hey I got a lapdance in room 4. "

"k boss"

She walks down the hallway with lights and general sleazyness and knocks on room 4 and walks in. There's a huge scruffy white guy with a denim vest and ripped dirty pants sitting on the couch smirking. Brittany decides to forego introductions and turns the stereo on and starts to dance with her ass gyrating on the man's lap. He starts to get handsy and she keeps swatting him away until he pushes her forward hard off his lap so she lands face down, on all fours. He takes his belt off and restrains her hands.

"Guard! Guarddddd! Help please!"

The man then slaps her and then punches her leaving her left eyes bruised and swollen. He grabs her jaw to shut her up.

"I know you like it you fuckin slut. Out there waving your pussy. You're nothing. Bitch"

She then spits in his face and kicks him in the balls but it only makes him angrier and he unbuttons his pants and holds her down and just as he's about to enter her Karofsky bursts through the door and beats the shit out of the man and send him to get arrested. All while Brittany cowers in a corner.

Karofsky walks over and picks her up.

"I'm so sorry Britt. It's gonna be ok. Please be ok?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The bus drops Santana off on Washington street in Chestnut Hill. She walks the block or so all smiles with her black bag on her back. She reaches the door and knocks the code for her name. The door opens to 6 muscleheads with no brains and she's led to a room on the second floor. When she opens the door the devil comes out of her.

"What the fuck did you do to him! What the fuck did you do to my brother he's fuckin bloody and bruised what the fuck am I giving you free fuckin drugs for you god damn little dicked piece of shi-"

Finn picks up a gun points it to Santana and cocks it.

"That's why you stupid bitch."

"fuck you Hudson,"

"Now give me the shit and I'll give you ten minutes alone with your bitch of a little brother."

She hands it over and he leaves. She then makes her way to her brother, placing a finger under his chin to take in his injuries. She takes out tissues and a bottle of water out of her bag and starts to clean the blood off.

"I'm so sorry Tana. I'm so so sorry"

" shh sh it's ok Santi. I'm gonna get us outta this I have a plan baby boy don't worry ok I love you so much."

They hug and whisper I love you's and comfort for the rest of the time until finn comes in and makes her leave.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Britt makes her way home. Limping off the bus and down the sidewalk to the house. She says high to no one and crawls up the steps. She pulls out the coke and dope san gave her and makes a speedball by mixing them together. She does ten straight. And then the tears start to fall. A silent waterfall cascades down her bruised face. She needs Santana she needs her now. It's only 12 hopefully she's awake.

"Hey Britt Britt"

"S-ssan can you come over?"

"What's wrong oh my god are you ok?"

"I'll tell you when you get here just please I need…I need to be held"

Brittany sobs out her barely legible sentence.

"Yeah of course I'll be there in 20 minutes just stay where you are ok? I'm gonna make it better I promise."

With that they hang up and Santana rushes to her car and makes it into Kenso in record time. She bursts through the door and upstairs and then slowly steps into Britt's room. And what she sees breaks her heart. Brittany is leaned over her end table with lines and straws and razors surrounding her head with one razor in her hand and blood dripping down her upper thigh.

Santana take the razor from her hand and scoops Brittany up and hold her in her lap.

"Baby what happened?"

Brittany sobs for a little while. And then tell Santana the events of her night. And Santana is furious.

"I'm gonna fuckin kill that bastard!"

"San don't it's not worth it. I'm fine."

"you're not fine Britt your face is all bruised you're upset and crying and bleeding. I've been there in this same situation so I know you are the furthest from fine."

"I know it's just..i know…"

She drifts of and wordlessly they both go to the table and do a bunch of lines before Brittany wants to shower.

" C-can you come with me San I don't wanna be alone?"

"uhhh um yea. 'course Britt.

Holy shit Santana thinks. Holy fuckin shit.

They walk into the bathroom and Santana slowly and lovingly undresses Brittany making sure to be wary of the bruises and cuts. She then undresses herself, turns on the water and feeling until it gets the perfect type of hot as shit. Next motioning Brittany to go inside. While Brittany is under the water she grabs the shampoo and massages it into Brittany's scalp while the blonde's silent tears mix with the water. Santana does the same with the conditioner. Taking the bar of soap she lathers up the washcloth and gently scrubs the hurt off of her soul, or atleast she's trying to. All of a sudden Brittany turns around and kisses Santana hard. They kiss while Santana continues to clean. And nails are scratching backs and lips are being bitten and it starts to get rough.

Santana turns the shower off and gets towels and carries Brittany to her room placing her on the bed. She stands in the room drying off for a moment just taking Brittany in. "she's like my own brand of heroin" she thinks. Brittany then motions her to come over and rips off Santana's towel and pulls her down on top of her.

"I'm warning you now I like it extremely rough, choking , slapping, spanking, dirty talk."

"well then I'd say we're sex twins sweets"

Things get heavy from there on and Santana immediately shoves two fingers into B's wet pussy and pumps fast while making the other girl scream out and moan.

"'you like that brit? Tell me how much you like it. Tell me what u want?

"I love it san. Ughh oh god so good. Spank me san pleasee ughh"

She turns Brittany around and places her on all fours while entering her pussy from behind.

She begins thrusting and spanking harder and harder listening to Brittany completely lose it.

"you were bad weren't you Britt? You were a dirty little slut huh?"

"yes san soo uhh so bad! I'm your little slut baby. I'm yours"

she continues spanking until she reaches that hand around to rub circles on Britt's clit. She feels her about to cum. Her muscles starting to spasm.

"Cum for me Britt. Say my name Britt."

"uhh ohh Santanaaaa"

Brittany came hard coating Santana's fingers, and turned around to see her licking her fingers off sexy and slowly. Brittany takes her by the neck and kisses her so she can taste herself on Santana's lips.

" mmmm it's your turn now san. And I hope you don't plan on sitting tomorrow cuz that's not going to be an option."

xxxxxx this next chapter is where every ones backgrounds start coming out and how they ended up in the bad lands. everyone has a story.

thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Major warnings for this chapter including Abuse, child molestation, violence, drug use and death.

Hope you're all enjoying the story. It won't be all dark but this is only the beginning there's more to come like maybe murder espionage rape and all around craziness, but the fluffy love is all mixed in too. This will be a long epic story so hang in there and send me some ideas if you got any.

_Don't try to fix me_

_You will only get hurt_

_Don't try to fix me_

_It won't work _

Santana POV

"Where the fuck am I"

Oh right I slept over Britt's. I look over and see she's still sleeping. Not creepy at all, I take my phone off the end table and snap a picture. The light was perfect and the thin curtains made it soft so it was cascading around Brittany's body like silk. Her back was completely out and the thin sheet draped over her hips just below the dimple on her lower back. Her blonde hair adorning the white pillow.

She's so damn beautiful I can't take it. It's like seeing perfection in human form. Actually there isn't even a word to describe Brittany. Words would only dilute what her essence exudes.

I'm gonna go get this lovely lady some breakfast. I throw some clothes on making sure to stay quiet as to not wake the Sleeping Beauty. Finally I get downstairs and through the door. It's early so no one in that house should be up. Fuck I shouldn't even be up let alone running to the corner store for breakfast. Maybe I am whipped? Whatever if I'm gonna be whipped for anyone its Sweets. But after last night I don't think I can call her that anymore. That girl is like a pro dominatrix. I've never been topped like that before. And she was right I don't wanna sit and I am walking funny. It was soooo good though I think I came like 5 times. Damnnn… oops I'm here. I see Rachel the town crazy who thinks Barbra Streisand speaks to her in her head. She's always on the street somewhere in this damn town.

"Hey Rach, hear anything from Barbra lately?"

"Why yes Santana she says to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow and to also ask why you are walking so funny?"

Damn Britt really did pound the shit outta me.

"Um well, I did a lot of squats yesterday. Gotta keep my ass nice ya know? Babs should understand. And how did you, I mean Barbra know my birthday was December 30th?"

"She knows, and she understands the importance of squats."

I open the door to Mo's the corner store with the best fuckin breakfast sandwiches in the world. I order two bacon,egg, and cheese sandwiches on a bagel, a carton of Newport 100's, a box of blunts, and one of those tiny roses in a glass tubes that people use to smoke crack. And pay the kind man.

Getting back in Britt's room I see she's still asleep and is now face down on her bed with her arms and legs spread out like a starfish. I can't help but laugh. And she starts to stir. Fuck I woke her up.

"What are you laughin' at over there meanie pants." She mumbles

"Oh just your Patrick Star impersonation. And if you'd open your eyes you'd take back that meanie pants comment."

She notices the coffee and black plastic bag im holding and her eyes light up and she grins until her blue eyes are barely visible.

"For me?"

"Unless there's another person who goes by the name Sweets then yes. I'm not so mean now am I?"

"awwww your so cuteee. And you went to Mo's, man I must've really impressed you last night. How's your ass by the way oh and your crotch too cuz I pounded that shit."

I laugh at her bluntness oh man this girl is too much.

"They both feel how you warned me they would feel haha."

I duck my head sheepishly

"but I liked it"

"Good, me too my butt cheek still has your handprint on it I think. Now come eat with me you sexy bitch"

She gets up though before eating and lays out atleast four lines.

"I can't eat in the morning if I haven't done a line first. Come on San I cut out two for you."

I get up and we both share the snooter and snort our lines. Damn I make some good shit. We then dig into the sandwiches when I notice a picture of her and Holly.

"When did you start working at the club?"

"Just when I turned 18, why?"

"just wondering why I never met you. You started right after I left. Right after I started working for Holly. I started at Headliner's at 16. Those dumbasses accepted that fake ass ID I had."

I reminisce for a couple seconds before speaking.

"Don't ever turn tricks for Artie ever, promise me. If you do you're his slave forever."

She huffs. " Yea I don't plan on it I've been down that road in Norristown, and then some dick threw me outta the car in front of 30th street station."

"Damn Britt that's fucked up."

"That's not even the half of it" she say barely above a whisper

" I had escaped the man's house I was living at and only knew how to get to my hometown. So I walked on and off for three days sleeping in the woods, and eventually made it there and started turning tricks and sleeping in parks. Until I got into that ass hole's car and ended up at the train station where Mike and Tina found me."

Holy shit that was intense but what does she mean she escaped and not simply ran away?

"What do you mean escaped Britt? Who were you escaping from you're parents?

" I don't wanna talk about this anymore ok San just stop. I'm uh gonna lay some more lines out for us."

She then goes over to the end table slightly shaking and grinding her teeth and pours a whole gram of dope out on it. Fuck I hope I didn't upset her. Britt sad is like watching a Nicholas Sparks movie. Tears will fall watching her pout.

"I'm sorry if I upset you Britt, I really am. Would it um, would it make you feel any better if I told you some of my shit?"

" Yeah maybe that would help. And I'd like to get to know you more san"

" Ok well it all started…."

_A rail thin Latina woman is walking up the street with a baby bundle in blankets and place in a topless cardboard box. She looks everywhere and over her shoulder paranoid. She walks until she finds a house with black rod iron slats all around the porch and a red door behind the gate. She slowly opens the gate and makes her way to the door. Placing the box down she pulls a birth certificate out of her pocket and tucks it into the side of the bundled up baby. She didn't sign it and put the last name of the child's father at the end of the little girls name. She takes one last look at the baby and the name on the paper. _

_Santana Marie Lopez. _

_Little did she know the man inside that home was the devil himself and that she just dropped her daughter into the inferno. _

_Riccardo Vazquez woke the next morning to crying. He opened the door and grinned. The younger the better he thought. _

"So she just left you on a stranger's steps. A creepy Pedophile!?"

"Yup but I'm not finished."

_Ricky was pleased with his new toy and saw she was Latina so he took it upon himself to sign the birth certificate. As she was too little just about 6 months all he could do for entertainment was put cigarettes out on her or starve her from food while he ate in the same room. _

_When Santana was three he started touching her and making her touch him. At so young she didn't know what she was doing. He kept burning her and hitting her up until she was 8 and started to resist and realize this was wrong. It was her 8th birthday and he said he had a present for her and slammed her down to the ground and tied her hands to the railing on the first step of the stairs._

_"Happy birthday you little bitch!"_

_"pleaseee just let me go. Just please don't! stooopp-"_

_He cut her off with a punch to the face. He then unzipped his pants and rubbed himself a couple times until he was ready._

_"Stay still you little slut!"_

_With that he ripped her dress from pulling it up and ripped her panties completely off and entered her roughly. Getting off and repeating this for 8 hours even after Santana passed out from the pain. _

" San, I'm sorry no one deserves that ever."

" It's whatever, but stop interrupting I never told anyone this stuff and uh it's kind of rough to talk about"

Brittany scoots over and I lay my head in her lap as she rubs slow circles on my back.

_Things went on like this for a year. Ricky would use belts, electrical cords, lit cigarettes, and anything he could find to hurt her. After another brutal night Santana was sitting on the floor of the shower watching the water turn crimson and silently crying to herself. She just got done and was about to turn the water off when Ricky burst in and tore the curtain open and started whipping her with a leather belt and screaming. Santana drops to the fetal position in the corner of the shower and he stops._

_"I love you, ya know. Won't you tell me you love me back Sannie?"_

_When all he is met with is silence he starts to whip her again._

_"Did you hear me you stupid little girl tell me you love me!"_

_"I-I-I love y-you" she sniffles out._

_"Well I don't love you, you dirty bitch. Now clean yourself up you're disgusting. And you have school tomorrow."_

"He was the first person I ever said I love you to. And it was to the person I hated most in the world"

_The very next night while Santana was doing homework there was a knock at the door. Not wanting to piss Ricky off she rushed to answer it. As she opened the door she looked down to see a bundled up baby in a cardboard box. Knowing this couldn't be a coincidence, she burst through the door and started screaming._

_"Come back here you stupid bitch, you left me here and now you leave another baby. You left us in hell you fucking bitch! Come back please. Please…."_

_She walked back over to the box and sure enough an unsigned birth certificate with only the birth date and a name. Santos Antonio Lopez. Holy shit, she thought. I have a brother and now I have to protect him from the Devil himself. She brought him in and sure enough Ricky was pleased. He liked little boys too. _

_Santana tried to protect her brother the best she could but she went to school and Ricky would burn him and leave him to cry hungry and in dirty diapers all day. And when she got home he would beat her and tell her to take care of her bastard brother._

_She loved Santos with all her heart and vowed to do whatever needed to keep him from getting molested like she did. _

"So thatttt's how you have a brother."

" Yup. My only family."

I layed stone faced on Britt's lap preparing to tell the next part of this gruesome story.

_Santana was walking home from school, now 12 she could walk and not take the stupid bus. She dreaded going home, never knowing what she would stumble upon when she walked through the red door. As she approached she heard screaming and saw her brother through the window bent over the couch just in his Power Rangers underwear and Rick holding him down with one hand and reaching for his belt buckle with the other. Slowly Santana snuck into the kitchen and found a butcher's knife. _

_A flash of white-hot anger tore through her and she pounced on Ricky's back stabbing him again and again and again. _

_"You don't touch my fucking family you piece of shit I'm gonna fucking kill you and enjoy it!"_

_Once he fell on the floor Santana straddled him and continued to stab him in the chest until she heard her brother's voice._

_"San. San. SAN!" He touches her arm." It's ok. He's gone now San. I love you. I love you so much Tana, thank you for not letting him hurt me." _

_"I-I love you too Santi. We n-need to um call the cops now ok. Put some comfy clothes on and grab the bear I got you for your birthday last year. We might not be coming back."_

_She called the police and they got them cleaned up. Noticing all the burns and wounds on the children, police knew it was self defense. They gathered their things the next day after the body was removed and only blood stains remain. The two of them were split up into two different group homes for two weeks until a Foster parent named Clara Fitz agreed to take them. _

_There Santana met another girl named Quinn Fabray who was two years older than her. They fought and bickered because they were so similar but also grew to be great friends. She warned her of Clara, and to not rush to make it to age 14._

_At first Santana just had to take care of Santos and hide drugs on her when she bought it for Clara because kids don't get caught. But really in Philly kids are no exception. Then it was peeing in cups for when Clara's probation officer would come to test her. She lied on the foster paper's and used her elderly mother's name to get the money from the foster kids. She was ruthless beating them and starving them. And at night Santana, Quinn, and Santos would all squeeze on one bed and hold each other, crying silently, trying to be strong for the others. _

_The day came when Santana turned 14 and Clara put her out on the streets. Her and Quinn would cover the same block watching out for each other. And trying to make a game out of it to see who could make more money. One man in particular changed San's life forever. He brought out Heaven's powder itself._

_"It's like finding the key to a room you always wanted to go in."_

_He told her all the good things but none of the bad. They went through a couple bags until Santana was drifting off into a warm cocoon made personally for her body, eyes drifting closed. And then she lurched forward and out the window of the car and threw up. But it felt good and cleansing and now she's feeling the best she ever has. No thoughts or feelings clouding her mind just a blank slate that erases again every 8 seconds. She doesn't even realize she's having sex with the man, and before she knows it he's handing her the cash and some of her new favorite thing, and dropping her back off and 5th and Lehigh. Quinn looks at her and knows that look of contentment. She knows what dark path it leads to also and secretly wishes San doesn't get caught up in it. _

_"You got any to share with my fine ass Lopez?"_

_"Shit with how good I'm feeling right now I'd share a kidney with you."_

_A year later and all is normal until Quinn gets pregnant. Clara flips shit. But not because Quinn's pregnant but because she's losing money cuz no one wants to pay to fuck a pregnant girl, even sick fucks have morals. _

_"You're fuckin useless now you little bitch I should kill that thing myself."_

_"No! I-I'll double my shifts on the streets to make up for Quinn's. Just don't hurt her baby please."_

_" You're lucky you got a friend like dumb ass Lopez, who is stupid enough to care about a little cunt like you. Now get the fuck upstairs before I beat the shit out of both of you!"_

_They go upstairs where Santos is coloring with worn out broken crayons. Santana takes Quinn's shoes off and pulls back the covers. Putting her hand on the small of her back she lead's the blonde onto the bed. She lay's down facing the wall with Santana at her back. The Latina scoots in behind her and holds her tight as if she's holding her together. _

_"Thank you" Quinn whispers._

_"Shhh. We help each other out, that's the rule. Now rest Q. Get some rest."_

"Wait wait wait. You know a Quinn?"

"Yea why?"

"Is her last name Fabray?"

"Holy shit yeah! How did you know?

"She lives here. And works at Headliner's

"What a small fuckin world."

Shaking her head Santana continues the story.

_Four months into Quinn's pregnancy she's in the kitchen and drops one of Clara's plates. The larger woman comes storming in, and as if rage clouds her mind to the fact that Quinn's pregnant, or she just doesn't care, Clara starts punching and beating, and kicking Quinn until there is blood everywhere and the younger girl is no longer conscious. Clara leaves her there for 5 hours until Santana comes back from school and finds her bloodied on the kitchen floor. She picks her up gathers her brother and calls a texi to the hospital. She stays with the blonde holding her hand waiting for her to wake up, while Santos sleeps in a chair at the far side of the room. Quinn finally cracks her eyes open and the look on her best friend's face tells her all she needs to know but she still asks. _

_" I-is my baby gone Tana. Please tell me it's not please. No!"_

_"I'm so sorry Q. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. Please don't hate me please Quinn."_

_Both girls have floods running down their cheeks. _

_"San you have done more for me than you will ever know. It's not your fault it's that crazy fuckin bitch." _

"Poor Quinn I never knew she lost a baby."

"Yea, I wish I could have protected my future niece or nephew."

"You did what you could San. You have a heart of gold."

"Pshh ok if that's what you think."

" I know I'm right. It's just hidden behind your Armadillo shell."

We both laugh and continue on with the story.

_Six months after the miscarriage Quinn has turned 18 and is leaving with all her baggage and a hefty drug problem to go with it. As she hugs Santana goodbye she whispers in her ear. _

_"Remember the guy I told you about? Buy Clara's shit from him and he'll give you a bad batch and that bitch is done for. Ok San? I love you so much. I feel like I'm leaving my sister. Please be safe and I hope to see you again one day."_

_"I love you too Quinn, so much, be safe out there ok?"_

_She nods her head and kneels down to say bye to Santos._

_"See ya around little bro. I'll miss you. And remember to listen to your sister ok? She will always keep you out of harm, no matter the cost."_

_"I love you Quinnie."_

_He hugs her and she turns to leave sending a smile from over her shoulder. Never to be seen again. Two weeks later Clara needs to re-up on her dope stash and sends Santana out to buy it. She goes to the man Quinn told her about and gets the tainted dope._

_An hour later Clara is bent over on the couch with blue lips. Santana begins to pack the little belongings she still has as long as her brother's, making sure not to forget his bear. She grabs Santos shielding him from the view on the couch and leaves the house and Clara, dead in her own filth. _

_They walked for about an hour in the cold and Santos already had the flu for a couple days so she carries him until they reach 30th street station and go inside for shelter. She's holding her brother close and rubbing his back when a man appears _

_"If you touch us or try to do anything I swear I will cut you motherfucker!"_

_Puck puts his hands up in surrender._

_"I'm trying to help I was coming to see what was up with you two"_

_"Sure you're just some nice person in the middle of this shit town and you don't want anything from me. Bull fuckin shit dude get the fuck outta here with you wack ass hair."_

_"Well I do want you to stop being a bitch and let me take you and the kid to my apartment because he don't look too good and I've been on this very bench you are hopin' someone did this for me. So I'm using the tiny bit of my heart I have and helping you even though you're a bitch."_

_"What's your name?"_

_"Noah Puckerman. Puck for short you?"_

_"Santana Lopez and this is my brother Santos. Oh and I like pussy so don't try anything or you won't ever have children,"_

_"haha got it, come on you smell like shit."_

" And that's how I met puck and then started stripping at the club to pay for Santos' stuff. I got emancipated and made myself his guardian after I got my GED. Then Holly took me under her wing and taught me to cook, and the rest is history."

Brittany is rendered speechless.

"San that is horrible. I'm so sorry."

"Don't. Just Don't it's over and done with."

I lay back down and think of a plan to get Santos out of this shit with Finn and then finally, just maybe, they can be truly happy for the first time in their lives.


	8. Chapter 8

***Hope everyone is enjoying the story. And someone please message me and tell me if it's any good. This next chapter we learn a little more about Quinn. And her and San are reunited. Enjoy!

_My blood is boiling with anger_

_I hate the way I love it_

Holding Brittany until her breathing evens out and she's asleep, Santana tries to get out from under her without waking the beautiful girl. She makes it from the bed without disturbing her…Brittany? She guesses that's all they are. She's her Brittany. That's all right?

Feeling the withdrawal already setting in, Santana does a couple lines of her un-cut batch, grabs her things, kisses Britt on the cheek goodbye, and makes her way down the stairs. She's about to breeze through the living room and through the front door, when she hears her name.

"Tana? S-santana?"

Santana whips her head around and simultaneously dropping her things when she notices the face behind the voice.

"Q? Is that really you, Britt told me you lived here and I couldn't believe it?"

Quinn runs over and tackles the smaller girl into a hug. They stay silent, rocking back and forth squeezing the hell out of each other, both stuck in their heads. Until Quinn speaks.

"I can't believe you're the Lopez everyone's been talking about. San I never thought I'd see you again. My baby sister."

Quinn starts to cry. She's so happy. She has missed Santana and Santos since she left 6 years ago.

"Q. You better stop crying, cuz you're gonna make me cry and then I'm gonna kick your ass."

"At least some things don't change. You're still my favorite bitch S."

They stand in silence for a minute. Just taking in meeting each other again. Santana has had a crazy fucking week.

"Hey Q, are you doing anything today? Also why the fuck are you up at 6:30 in the morning?"

"I couldn't sleep. I kinda um kept thinking about how today is your birthday."

"You still remember that?"

"Of course Tana, you're my only family, and I know it's a bad day for you. Don't you remember mine?"

"May 29" she spits out without even thinking.

"My point exactly S, we're family."

"Come with me to my house I have a lot to tell you about the other person in our family"

They both gather their things and Quinn marvels at the car and other nice shit San has. "This girl is a bossss." She thinks.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two girls drive through Kensington to get to San's house in Rittenhouse Square, singing loudly and dancing in their seats. They're both so happy to be reunited. Embarrassingly huge smiles bursting onto their faces. Finally they get to the house.

"Holy shit Tana, you must cook up a fuckin storm."

"Yea I barely sleep. Tom and Jerry is in high demand. Well at least what I can sell of it without Hudson knowing."

She realizes her mistake when Quinn quirks an eyebrow at her and her green eyes bore into San's brown.

"Care to explain S?

"Well um you remember Santos right?

Quinn nods her head impatiently urging San to get on with it.

" W-well after I left Headliner's to cook with Holy. My stamps started getting popular and during the third year when Santi was 13, he started dealing and making runs for Hudson."

"Go onnn." Quinn urges already mad Santi got into that shit.

"After a couple months he wanted to get out and work harder in school and sports so he could get a football scholarship, he was gonna do well for himself ya know?"

Santana hates the next part of this horror story.

"Hudson wouldn't let him out. H-he f-ound-found out, that I was his sister and that I made the best dope in Kenso. He t-took Santos and threatened to kill him if I didn't make Tom and Jerry soley for him, all while only paying for the supplies to make it and giving me only 10 percent of the packages worth. That was a year ago…"

Santana trails off the last part. It hurts so much that she can't save her brother. It's all her fault really. If she didn't cook Finn would have nothing over Santos and he could be playing football and learning about the quadratic equation or some shit.

"I know it's all my fault! It's all my fuckin fault. If I just stayed at the club and turning tricks Santi would be here! It's all my fault. All my…"

She trails of in a whisper. Now kneeling on the floor pounding her fists into the ground. Quinn comes over and sits down on the floor pulling the brunette into her lap and holding her like she's the glue to keep the broken girl together.

"shhh, shh. San it's not your fault. It's not even Santi's fault, even though I'm gonna kick his ass when I see him for being dumb, it's that bastard Hudson. We're gonna get him back San I promise we're gonna get him back."

"Don't you think I've tried!"

"Did you forget what happens when a Lopez and a Fabray join forces?"

"Haha how could I ever forget. You saved my life by giving that bitch a bad hit."

"Exactly my point. I have a plan…."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After concocting a famous Lopez-Fabray scheme, Santana decides to show her the lab and introduce her to her lezbro.

"…andd here we are. My own little piece of heaven. It took a while but-"

"Santana how the fuck do you know Quinn?"

"Puck how the fuck do YOU know Quinn?"

Quinn coughs and then speaks up.

"I met Puck at a party and we um hung out."

"Gross Q, you fucked Puck?"

"Hey I'm not gross you bitch. Ladies love them some Puck. Isn't that right Quinn?"

Quinn cringes. The sex was not great at all!

"So you're the blonde Puck was with at Finn's party. Hmmm?"

"Fuck you Puck. Any way. Me and San have known each other since the foster home days."

Puck ponders on that for a second before realization hits him.

"Oh shit. You're the girl San always told me about. Her sister of sorts right?"

"Correct Fuckerman. But in other news me and Q here have a plan to get Santos back and we need your help."

"Count me in sexy ladies"

At the same time Quinn and San scoff

"Gross"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Santana brings Quinn to see Santos under the guise of delivering another package so Finn's goons let them in. After being frisked and generally invaded by the Michelin Men in suits, the girls make their way to the basement where Santos is being held. They both gasp at the condition he's in. He looks up and they finally see his face and take in his surroundings. Santos has a deep slice running diagonally from his forehead through his eyebrow, grazing his eyelid, and thickening again to continue down his cheek to his jaw.

He's chained to a metal chair that's drilled into the ground, with his hands cuffed and locked behind his back. There's a puddle of blood on the floor and dripping from his fingertips making a ripple flow through the crimson gathering at his feet.

The teenager is shivering and sweating. Knowing the signs of withdrawal and the scene before her Santana becomes enraged.

"What the fuck did he do to you? Are you dope sick?"

Walking forward she examines him closer and notices the track marks and dirty needles littering the floor.

"Oh my god. No Santi, please tell me I'm seeing shit. Please?"

The boy coughs and spits out some blood his voice hoarse and broken when he speaks.

"F-finn's been keeping me down here restraining me and shooting me up for two weeks until it was in my system enough and stopped giving it to me so he can watch me suffer through withdrawal. I'm so sorry Tana. I tried to fight it! I-I tried to keep our promise b-but then he chained me to this chair and slit my face with a scalpel and oh my god Tana I'm so sorry, so so sorry…"

He drifts off in a whisper before Santana engulfs him in a bone-crushing hug but still being wary of his injuries.

"Don't you ever apologize for any of this! It's not your fault baby bro, it's mine, I should have never started all this I shoulda-"

"No it's not your fault Tana. I shoulda never joined Hudson's crew."

They both hug for a while until Santana realizes Quinn is still in the room. And she gets an idea. San motions Q to come further. And Quinn puts her finger on the boys chin and tilts it up so he can see her. His eyes light up with recognition and he starts to tear up again.

"Quinnie?" he squeaks out "San you found Q?"

"That's right Ti. And our big sister is gonna help us get out of this shit once and for all."

Standing up Santana pulls out a bag of dope and sprinkles a line on her fist offering it up to Santi.

"Now I never wanted you to do this shit and it kills me to know Finn has you hooked, and shooting up, which is harder to kick, but I don't want you to suffer, so snort this off my fist and you should feel better for about 6 hours when it will wear off."

He leans forward while San holds the line on her fist up to his nose and Quinn holds one of his nostrils closed. He inhales hard and within minutes the sweating and shivering has stopped and his veins no longer feel like they're filled with fire ants.

Quinn brushes her fingers through his soft, wavy but still short, hair. She's amazed how much he has grown, and how much he looks like Santana.

"All better Ti? I've missed you guys so much. I've been searching for you for years."

"I'm so happy to see you Quinnie. SO, so happy."

"Well today's San's 23rd birthday bro. So send the love that-a-way."

Santos knows her birthday is a bad day for his sister. It's the day that bastard first raped her, the day she stabbed him to death. Her 14th birthday she turned tricks for the first time, and on her 16th she killed Clara with the bad dope and ran away with him and met Puck. The rest up until now have just been consistently horrible consisting of stripping, hooking, snorting, and cooking dope on the day of her birth.

He looks at his sister with knowing eyes and wishes he could hold her. And take away all the pain she feels. He wishes he could pay her back for all the sacrifices she's made to keep him safe. She literally killed for him, twice.

"San we can make this birthday a good one. Even though I'm in here I want you to have fun. Go fuck some hot chicks, get wasted, have fun for the both of us sis."

Quinn cuts in.

"Speaking of hot chicks. Check this out Santi, our girl right here might just have settled down with one."

"Shut up Q, me and Britt are just friends."

"Yea friends that ask each other to be spanked. Have you seen our house those walls are thinner than cardboard."

"Whatever, maybe you're right. She's different. She makes it possible to smile without it hurting."

Both Quinn and Santos are so happy for their sister. She deserves love. As hard as she seems on the outside San is the most caring person in the world, and if she loves you she will do anything to keep you safe. She's proved such to Quinn and Santi.

"I'm happy for you Tana. You deserve someone to hold you instead of the other way around, and at least someone in this family is getting pussy haha. What does she look like?"

"you're gross Ti. But if you must know, she is the most gorgeous thing ever to be created. She's about 3 inches taller than me, blonde, amazing blonde hair. She's got the bluest cat-like eyes I've ever seen, like better than the ocean blue. And that body and those legs that just wont quit, and-"

"Ok S, you can stop drooling over my room mate now."

Santana coughs awkwardly

"Whatever Quinn, you fucked my room mate too."

Santos bursts out into a fit of laughter watching his sisters bicker like old times.

"I miss you guys, so much, it's good to see the family back together."

They join in a three way hug. When they release San stashes some more dope in his pockets so he can do it when the guards let him go to the bathroom, and to prevent Finn from torturing him anymore with the hell that is being dope sick. A guard comes in and tells them it's time to go and they all say goodbye. And with one last look over their shoulders both Quinn and San vow to protect Santos no matter the cost.

"I got a letter from my Mom last night San."

"Holy shit Q. What did it say?"

"Haven't read it yet."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Quinn looks over into the driver's side of the car and notices the look of anguish on her best friend's face. She's so mad she couldn't find her for 6 years. Things could have been much different if they had met up. She knows Santana is reminiscing about her past birthdays and wants to make this one her first good one.

"Stop thinking about it Tana. Let's do something fun this year and make a new tradition. Head over to Headliner's, Holly's working."

San smirks and she's convinced, it's always a good time with Holly. Then she gets a text from Britt.

From: Sweets

How come you're always gone when I wake up =[ I miss your warmth your like my personal heater.

Santana laughs and decides to text her back and let her know of her plans.

From: Tana

Sorry sweets I got up to embark on my master plan and ran into Q and we decided to catch up and go see my brother. We're scheming a way to get him out so I might be gone a few days. I'll miss you babe. Hope you're feeling better.

Quinn notices the smile on the other girls face as she's looking down at her phone.

"Talking to your girrrlllfriend Tana?" she teases.

"Fuck you Q. and she's not my girlfriend….yet."

"You really like her don't you?"

"More than you will ever know Q, more than you will ever know, and put it this way. I let her call me Tana, only you, Santos, Puck, and Holly are usually allowed to call me that"

"Damn you're in deep."

They pull up to the club at about 6 and start feeling tired and withdrawal setting in, so they opt for some speedballs mixing the coke and heroin together to make a beautiful symphony of contentment.

"Holy shit S, you make coke too? And it's fish scale coke at that? You're like fuckin Albert Hofmann or some shit."

"Who the fuck is that?"

"You're a cook and don't know who the greatest drug manufacturer who ever graced this world is? He's the guy who made the first batch of LSD and it accidentally absorbed into his skin makin him trip balls."

"Oh yea and didn't he write about trippin and riding his bike or some shit? I guess I should be flattered by the comparison Q. My heart is truly touched." She raises her palm to her chest in mock appreciation.

"Fuck you Tana."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Finally making it into Headliner's with a great high, the girls head straight to the bar to see Holly.

"Well, well, well look what we got here? The amazing Latina formerly known as Scarlet Cruz, no relation to Penelope, and the equally amazing blonde by the name of Autumn Caine. What do I owe the pleasure ladies? And how the fuck do you know each other?"

"First of all Holly call me my old stripper name again and I'll cut you. Secondly I've known Quinn since I was twelve, long story. And thirdly, get me a damn drink cuz it's my birthday, love."

"Feisty tonight are we?"

"Yes but I actually need your help with a new stronger batch, you down?"

"I thought you'd never ask" She smiles.

With that Holly didn't even bother pouring out shots and just simply gave them the bottle of Patron and two empty shot glasses. The girls danced and joked while drinking and making fun of the nasty dudes drooling over the dancers on the stage.

"He looks like Colonel Sanders and Morticia Adamm's lovechild"

Quinn says while pointing at the creepy old man.

"That one near the stage looks like you can grease a pan with the oil on his forehead alone."

The fun and dancing continues until it's last call at 2 AM.

They get into San's car, her being the ever so talented drunk/high driver she is, like amazingly good, she once drove 45 minutes at night in the rain on the highway while trippin on acid and reading the gps on her phone. Santana drops Quinn off at her house promising to call and work on their plan before heading home to pass out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Quinn walks into the house stumbling a bit and thinking about the letter waiting for her upstairs in her room. She hasn't heard from her mother her father since that night and wonders why the hell now they decide to write. She turns to her right when she hears muffled screaming and crying.

On the couch is Brittany asleep but obviously having another nightmare. Quinn feels so bad for her. Whoever she's dreaming about must have done something horrible to her.

"Jermaine no! Please stop! Don't hit me please I'll be good! Stop!"

Quinn wonders who this Jermaine person might be and goes over and tries to gently shake the screaming girl awake. Brittany's eyes pop open and she jumps up and recedes into the corner of the couch, pulling her knees into her chest, rocking and shaking with a sheen of sweat covering her skin.

Quinn gently approaches and wraps her arms around a shivering Brittany and tries to calm her down.

"Shhh Brit. Calm down it's ok, you're safe baby girl you're safe."

Brittany peeks up behind her bangs and starts to compose herself and close up at the same time.

" uh umm thanks Q just a bad dream that's all."

Quinn then notices the bruises on her face.

"who the fuck did this to you B?"

"Oh some guy at the club got a little rough in the lap dance room. No biggie."

She waves it off like she doesn't care but she's in so much pain not even the dope is helping.

"Is that who Jermaine is? You were screaming that name in your sleep."

Fuck Britt thinks I gotta make up a lie, and Quinn's not easy to lie to.

"Maybe that was his name um I-I don't know who this Jermaine is."

But in reality Brittany knows him, all too well, and not just from the dreams he invades. Quinn's not convinced but decides to drop it and find out later.

"Sooo, you and Tana huh?"

Brittany finally breaks into a huge face-splitting smile.

"Yea." She says wistfully. "She's amazing. She told me her story to make me feel better last night. She told me about Clara too, before she knew you were my roommate of course, I'm really sorry about your baby Quinn."

"It's not biggie that was years ago when I was 17. I'm 24 now, it's in the past. But I will say, if you hurt San I will kick your ass, no matter how much I love you. That's my sister, my heart, and she's been hurt too much already to go through anymore of it ok?"

"I don't wanna hurt her Q. I wanna hold her and make it better."

"Ughh you guys are too cute, it's sickening, she talks about you the same way, with that glazed over puppy look."

Brittany just smiles. She's really falling for the Latina. Quinn hugs Brittany and goes to leave but Britt grabs her wrists to say something.

"Quinn will you tell me your story one day?"

"As long as you tell me yours, and it's the true one."

With that Quinn turns to head to the third floor and up the narrow rickety staircase into her room, where the letter that weighs like lead sits atop the lone mattress in the room. She stairs at it for a few seconds before going for the band-aid method and ripping it open to read. Inside is a short and impersonal letter.

Quinn,

Your father has been killed during a fight with his cellmate. He will be buried at St. Patrick's Cemetery, on Dekalb Street in Norristown. Just thought I'd let you know.

Mom

What a fuckin bitch, Quinn thinks. It's been 12 fucking years and all she can muster to write is two measly sentences. Quinn crumples the letter and throws it in the corner of her tiny room. She moves up onto the bed and lays down and cradles her crappy pillow, thinking about the night it all went to shit.

_It was cold, far too cold in her room. So a 12 year old Quinn goes downstairs to heat up in front of the open oven they've been using to heat the house. As she nears the kitchen she hears screaming coming from the basement. She opens the door quietly and is shocked into place at the top of the steps. There is a man in a leather cut off, cuffed to the radiator with blood pouring down his face and pooling where he sits. _

_"You wanna fuck with the Pagan's you dumb fuck? You wanna kill one of us and think you can get away with it you Hell's Angel piece of shit!" _

_That's when she sees her father, Jay Fabray, pull out a gun and shoot the man in one of his kneecaps. His screams fill Quinn's ears, but she's frozen to the spot and can't look away. See, her father and mother, Skye, are members of the Pagan's, a large national motorcycle gang that are known for their violent ways. The man cuffed to the radiator is part of The Hell's Angels, their rival motorcycle gang, and apparently he fucked up bad. _

_"Please don't kill me please I'll do anything. I'll tell you anything you want Jay please!" _

_"Funny cuz I don't remember you giving my buddy Frank the option to live. So you don't get that option either you fuckin scum!"_

_Jay continues to beat him and slice him with his switchblade. Then Quinn's mother joins in kicking the man with her black motorcycle boots. They give him smelling salts to keep him awake so he can feel the pain. The other men in the room carve their gangs namesake all over his body along with the number 7, which represents "In memory of". Finally they decide the torture is over and decide to kill the man. _

_"Any last words mother fucker?"_

_"I hope you rot in hell you piece of shi-"_

_He's cut off by being shot in the other kneecap. His screams penetrate Quinn's brain and she covers her ears and retreats back to the living room. Several more gunshots ring out followed by more screams. Then the last shot booms through the house and everything turns silent. _

_Not long after another noise penetrates her ears. Sirens. Before she knows it a dozen police break the door down and rush past her not even noticing the shaking girl in the fetal position on the couch. They arrest her parents that cold winter night, and wrap her in a blanket inside of an open ambulance, where the medics look her over and hook her up to an IV due to the fact she's extremely malnourished. _

_She stays up all night in the hospital, the things she saw and heard invading her mind without permission, until a social worker comes in to take her to Montgomery County Youth center in Norristown, PA. It's a place for troubled youth who have committed crimes, and even though Quinn doesn't deserve to go there she is forced to due to the fact none of her family wants her, and all the foster homes in Bridgeport are full. _

_She stays there for a year. Getting in fights and getting beat up for no reason other than the girls feel like it. She learns to defend herself though and makes it through until she is brought into the hellhole that was Clara Fitz's torture house. _

Quinn comes out of her daydream, or day nightmare, rather, and realizes her cheeks are wet. Quickly rubbing the tears away with the back of her hand, she picks up her phone and sends a text to the only person who will understand what she's feeling.

To: Tana

I read the letter. My Dad's dead. Should I be happy or sad?

From: Tana

Feel however your body wants to Q. I love you and I'm here for you, always. Try to get some sleep babe.

She decides to do just that and pulls out her ID, a small mirror, and a straw and does lines until she throws up. Lighting up a cigarette she starts to nod off, all while burning yet another hole in her sheets.

…

Things are starting to progress now. What do you think their big plan is? and everyone seems to nod off and burn they're sheets. i know i've done it a few times lol. hope you're enjoying. let me know what you think. oh and it wont be dark like this all the time dont worry i'm just trying to layout everyones back story.


	9. Chapter 9

***If anyone is wondering why the girls still like rough sex even after being abused and molested there is an explanation. There is a certain psychological phenomenon called Repetition Compulsion.

This can occur in victims of rape and abuse. The victim will often use violent sex in order to have some time of control or "master" the experience by accepting the rough nature of the sex and therefore reliving the events in a way which benefits them. Also sometimes a rape victim cannot become aroused unless the sex mirrors the trauma they've had in some way. This phenomenon also takes presence in the for of repetitive night terrors like Brittany and Santana keep having.

Just wanted to clear that up, and we will be learning of Brittany's past soon and who this Jermaine guy is. Here's a little happy filler chapter. Enjoy!

Brittany's POV

I wake up and am met with familiar sharp pains in my stomach and run to the bathroom so I don't shit myself. My skin feels like it's shrinking and my bones feel like they're growing at the same time. I can take the aches and pains of withdrawal but the restlessness in my legs and arms always gets to me, it's like that weird limbo between having dead leg and pins and needles. I wipe the sweat off my body, not bothering to shower, but instead opting to get dressed and walk the block to score some dope. I could just call Santana but I haven't seen her in two weeks and I don't want her to think I'm using her for free drugs.

Slowly, I make my way down the three flights of steps and see Quinn in the living room cutting out a line.

"Q can I please have a little bump to hold me over 'til I find something on the block?"

"Of course girl, come on over."

She lays out a couple lines for me instead of just a tiny bump and I silently thank god when I feel it kick in, and the sweat start drying upon my skin.

"Thank you so much Quinn. I don't think I would have made it to Ty's corner with how I felt waking up."

"No problem B. But if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you just call Tana, you know she would hook you up?"

"Cuz if I went to her, she wouldn't let me pay. You know her better than me, she's stubborn as hell, and I don't want her thinking I'm using her for free shit ya know?"

I light up a cig, waiting for her reply. She knows I'm right I can see it in her eyes.

"Ok, you're right."

Here it comes, the but.

"But you know she would never think that. I think you're the nicest user in Philly, maybe the world, and San really likes you."

"You really think that? Ya know. That she likes me a lot?"

"It's obvious babe. I've known her for a while, and not once have I seen her smile the way she does when she's around you or talks about you."

Holy shit. I guess we're both in deep now. Which is kinda scary. Trust is not a thing I know well, and vulnerability, something I know nothing of at all.

"If you say so Quinn. I'll be right back. You need anything while I'm out coppin'?"

"Ohhh yea get me a bacon, egg and cheese from Mo's. Here, I'll go get my money quick."

She goes to get up and head to her room but I stop her by gently pushing her back onto the couch.

"No, no. I got it. You just sit your cute ass down and I'll be right back."

"Be careful B. And say hi to Rach for me, I love that crazy bitch."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walk out of the house and pull my sky blue winter coat around me and hug myself to try and keep the cold out. It's snowing and kind of makes this shit hole look nice until I see the random people shivering in alley ways, empty baggies, and dirty needles littering my block long path to 4th and Indiana. I finally see Ty's Puerto Rican ass leaning into a silver Mercedes and talking to the driver before stuffing the money in his pocket and returning to his stoop.

All around us is a symphony of yelling that only Kenso can orchestrate. As cars roll by a string of calls can be heard up and down the street as dealers try to get the attention of the rich kids cruising to score.

"Dope! Dope! Dope!"

"I got some mighty powder ladies!"

"Rock! Holdin' that rock!"

One after the other yells as the car barrels down Indiana street, until finally stopping for a guy with dreads. I finally come back to reality and walk over to Ty, pulling his beanie playfully over his eyes.

"That better be my baby B, or someone is gettin' pistol whipped!"

"Who else would have the lady balls to fuck with you Ty? You know you're my nigga."

"Now Britt, to me, you're an honorary black girl and that's ok. But don't be sayin that shit around nobody else, ya got me? I don't want you cryin to me when your ass gets beat haha."

"Oh Ty you're such a gentleman" I say sarcastically. I'm not stupid I just don't go flingin around the N word with the same ease as I'd say hello.

"Well I know you're not here for my company so what can I get you?"

"Just the usual you sexy chocolate man, you." I pinch his cheek playfully. I love fuckin with Ty. Looking at the 6 foot tall, 250 pound black man you think I'd be scared, but he's actually a sweetheart and has helped me a couple times when I had no money.

"Baby B, you are lucky I got a soft spot for you, pinchin my cheeks 'n shit. Here ya go. Good 'ol Tom and Jerry. That Lopez chick is good at what she does. I got people in Delaware askin for this shit."

"Yeah she's good. Really good."

I pay the kind man while walking away in a daze thinking about the brunette sex bomb I've begun to miss. Oh shit I gotta get Quinn's sandwich. I turn around and make my way to Mo's, shouting out hello's to the people on the block I've come to know over the 5 years I've been here. Plus being one of the few white chicks amongst all the Hispanics and African American's kinda makes me get noticed. Not that I mind. Barring my skin color I share a lot of the same characteristics as they do. I'm a gay minority, people have fucked me over and continue to, and most importantly we're all in the same struggle. All of us living day-by-day knowing we're gonna die in this slum of a city.

I finally make it to Mo's and as expected Rachel is outside singing another one of Streisand's greatest hits.

"Hey Rach, ever hear back from your audition at the Kimmel Center?"

"No, obviously they don't recognize talent when they see it. That's what Barbra told me. Barbra says you need to get laid, the sexual tension you're holding is radiating off of you."

Shit just got real.


	10. Chapter 10

This is the calm before several storms. This story will span for probably a decade of craziness and amidst all that, love will bloom. Again enjoy and review if you have questions or comments or are generally confused by my philly dialect haha.

Brittany's POV

"Here bitch, I got you extra bacon, I know you fiend for that shit."

Quinn laughs and flips me the finger, oh how I love how nice we are to each other.

"Mmm. If bacon got me high, I'd totally get clean."

Me, Sam, Mike, and Tina all snap our heads toward her cuz she just said the C word. Now it may not be a big deal to someone who's never been addicted to something but lemme lay it out there for you. When you're an addict the simple word "clean" sparks two different emotions in you. The first one is hope. All of a sudden you start plotting all these plans to start a new life, and not be a slave to a substance any longer. The second is regret. Regretting ever getting into drugs, feeling like shit because of all the time you've wasted chasin' a high. Finally in true addict form, after all our little freak outs, we go the "I don't give a fuck" route and lay out an extra big line or put twice as much in the syringe to counteract the feeling of doom that blanketed the living room.

I can tell Quinn realizes what she did because the same things ran rampant through her head too. The locusts of thought swarming on all of our psyches.

She too, puts down the sandwich, and foregoing the ritual of cutting out a line, she just puts the straw in the ten bag she has and snorts all of it's contents in one sniff. I watch as her pupils turn to pins and her eyes glaze over with contentment. Then I watch Mike preparing a shot for him and his girlfriend, Tina. I swear they're like the Asian version of Sid and Nancy, but without all the punk music and stabbing. Watching the process of an IV user always fascinates me. Like it must be good if they're willing to go through all those damn steps. I look on with interest as Mike sprinkles the dope on a spoon. Then he takes the syringe and sucks up the correct amount of water before pushing the plunger down and joining the water with the drugs. He swirls it around a bit to mix it together before grabbing the lit candle and holding it under the spoon until the mixture bubbles a bit. Finally he places a cotton ball on the spoon with the heated up dope and puts the needle through it and into the liquid. He sucks the liquid heroin through the cotton to filter it and give him the best shot possible. Mike sees me watching with intense interest and quirks an eyebrow at me.

"You wanna try it Britt? You seem like your mad interested."

I see Quinn's eyes bug out of her head and she grabs Mike's ear forcefully.

"You ever give B a needle and I'll personally beat your ass. Actually no, I'll get Lopez here to make you piss your pants again! You of all people should know that once someone goes to the needle, it's a life sentence, and there's no going back to snortin'."

"Ok shit Q, I get it. I was just asking I wasn't holding her down and forcing it into her veins."

I just look on as they argue about me, and Sam, good 'ol Sam, notices my discomfort and decides to change the subject.

"Speaking of Lopez, how's that going Britt?"

Sam has genuine interest in my love life, not only for the mental images I provide for him after my conquests, but because he cares about me. He wants me to be loved just as much as I do.

I blush a little at the mention of the certain Latina and it doesn't go unnoticed.

"It's going great. I haven't seen her for a couple weeks cuz she's working day and night, but we talk on the phone all the time. She's different Sam, she has walls like a damn fortress but she's so caring and genuine. I'm really diggin' her."

Quinn listens with a smile as I swoon over her adoptive sister of sorts. The moment is ruined though when Tina yells because she can't find a vein.

"Fuck. I'm shaking too bad to get the needle in right! UGHH what the fuck!"

"Tina sweetheart, you have abscesses everywhere and collapsed veins, maybe you should do it between your toes."

"No Mike I refuse to be one of those junkies that resorts to that shit, what's next my eyes?"

I get up to see if I can help. I'm used to helping my friends who shoot up find a vein because they start to panic because they can't get their fix. It's like having a line layed out but it's under a pain of glass that won't move and you can't get to it no matter how hard you try. And the harder you try, the more freaked out you get. It's a vicious cycle, really.

Wordlessly I grab Tina's forearms and check the damage. Her arms looks like a mine field filled with track marks and abscess bubbles from missing veins and getting infected. I finally find a spot that looks promising and tell her to hand over the needle. She trusts me, this isn't the first time I've done this for her. She takes the belt and tightens it around her upper arm and holds it in place by biting down on the excess material. I tap the vein that starts to protrude and carefully insert the needle into her skin. I pull the plunger of the syringe out to see if I get blood to flow in, which tells me the vein is tapped. Then, finally, I push the drugs through the needle into her skin. She releases the make shift tunicate and lays back onto the couch as the warm rush flows through her veins.

"Thank you so much B, I don't know how you do it. It's like you're playing Where's Waldo, but with veins."

I laugh at the comparison. I used to love that game when I was little. Me and my sister used to search for Waldo for hours. Enough thinking about her though. I should have appreciated it when I could, but I didn't know my life would be ripped away and games would become a foreign word.

Then, out of the blue my phone rings and the name on the caller ID makes me smile so hard it hurts.

"Hey Tana!"

"Hi Sweets, what's got you in such a good mood?"

"Oh ya know, just this sexy girl with a rockin' ass, and abs that put MMA fighters to shame."

We both laugh, while I get turned on just thinking about her caramel skin and taught stomach that is so damn lickable.

"Damn well, I got some competition then. Lemme go do some more crunches, maybe I can compare better to this mystery chick haha."

"Pshhh. There's no competition and no one could compare, ever."

"Haha that's good B, cuz I was actually calling to see if I could take you on a proper date. Treat you like a lady n shit."

She laughs that beautiful laugh and I can imagine her dimples creasing in her cheeks and her eyes squinting from smiling. How can someone so badass be so damn adorable?

"Hmmm a date huh, I'll have to get back to you, I'm in high demand." I joke.

"Oh really, well I'm just gonna have to kick everyone else's ass so the only one demanding your time is me. I can be very convincing."

"Haha, you're too funny San. When did you wanna go out?"

"I'll pick you up at 7, and wear sneakers, but that's all I'm telling you, so don't even ask where we're going."

I laugh she is too damn cute.

"Alright Tana, I'm excited now, I can't wait!"

"Me too B, me too. See you at 7."

I hang up the phone to see Sam and Quinn giving me the same look.

"What, do I have powder in my nose or something?"

"No you're just smiling like you won the lottery. Tana's takin you out huh?"

"Yes Q, if you must know, I got a date with your fine ass sister."

"Gross. I hope you guys don't wake me up this time calling each other dirty little sluts."

I throw a pillow at her and start a tickle war.

"Say mercy! Say it!"

"Ok! Ok, mercy! Britt you're a god damn tickle monster!"

"Hehe, I know. Now if you would excuse me I'm gonna get ready for my daaateee."

I switch my hips happily and barrel up the steps into the shower. I decide to make San drool even if it is winter, I gotta take my coat off sometime. And just because I'm an addict and a stripper doesn't mean I don't own nice things or like to look pretty. I'm what you call a functioning addict. One who can hold down a job in order to get money for my fix. Mike and Tina are another story. They came from a good family though, unlike the rest of us. They're the youngest at 21. Mike met Tina at a party and they were as hooked on each other as the drugs they were experimenting with. Their grades in school dropped drastically and when their families found out about the partying they were thrown out onto the streets. They moved from the swanky neighborhoods of the Main Line, to Kensington when their dealer offered to give them a cut of the sales if they would post up on his corner and sell for him. Eventually the dealer got arrested and Mike and Tina we're stuck with the house we live in now, with no money to pay the rent. That's when they started stealing cars and getting money from it at the local chop shop to feed their addiction. Not long after, they met Sam, who needed a place to shoot up and decided to room with him to lower rent. Sam had just been released from a Juvenile center where he'd been since he was 11. His parents we're junkies and family services took his brother, 5 at the time, and his sister, 6, to separate foster homes. He hasn't seen them since. Sam picked up his habit in the detention center, after being sent there for wreaking havoc in all the foster homes he frequented, including setting one on fire.

Then Quinn and Sam met at a party and invited her to move in, also. About two years later I met Quinn on my first day at Headliner's and she noticed all the bags I was carrying, giving away the fact that I was homeless, and brought me back to the house for a place to sleep, and the rest is history. 4 years later not much has changed. So, there you have it. The story of our little family. Quinn and I are the only ones with legal jobs though. Mike and Tina still panhandle and boost cars for money, among many other things. Sam works for Hudson, which is dumb I know, but that's his choice. I'm not his mother, but he's my best friend, and I still worry.

I decide to let my hair dry naturally, leaving it in loose waves that flow over my shoulders. I make my makeup natural too, because I wear enough of it at work and that shit's exhausting to keep up with through the night. I pick out my favorite shirt. It's grey and long sleeved with lace cut outs running down the arms of it and the back is much the same way. The deep cut of the shirt is something I know San will appreciate. I pair it with my dark blue skinny jeans and a yellow leather jacket. Finally I slip my sneakers on and check myself out in the mirror. "Lookin' good Pierce." I say to myself while winking in the mirror. I walk over to my little end table and do a couple lines while I wait for Santana. Not long after Quinn knocks on my door and tells me my lady has arrived.

When I get down to the living room the wind is knocked out of me. In front of me is the goddess of sex herself wearing tight leather pants a green, cleavage displaying flowy silk shirt, and her signature leather jacket. Holy shit. This girl wants to take ME on a date?

She smiles at me and holds out a bouquet of sunflowers. My favorite, how did she know?

"Q told me these were your favorite. I got someone on the inside." She laughs

"Thank you so much Tana! Let me go put them in water." I say giving her a kiss.

I go into the kitchen and find an empty bottle of vodka and fill it halfway with water before putting the flowers inside. We don't do vases here. The only thing remotely resembling a vase in this house is the bong we all chipped in to buy.

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Soon we're in her car holding hands while I listen to her sing along to the radio. Her voice is sick! It's like Amy Winehouse and Adele merged vocal cords and placed them in Santana. Shit she caught me staring.

"Like what you see Sweets?"

"I like what I see AND what I hear. Your voice is on fuckin' point."

"Haha thanks. I used to sing on the art museum steps to make money before I worked at the club." She looks down a little bashful. Can this girl be anymore perfect?

"That's awesome. I used to dance when I was little. I loved it. I use those skills at Headliner's now."

"Why'd you stop dancing if you loved it so much?"

I clam up a little bit. Stupid move Britt now you're gonna ruin the whole date with your awkwardness.

"uh um. That's a story for another time. Let's just have fun tonight."

She looks at me with understanding eyes and squeezes my hand while simultaneously leaning over the car and placing a kiss on my cheek. I see we're approaching the South Street bridge and I get excited. I love walking down South Street, there's hundreds of shops, and bars, and anything else you can imagine. My favorite thing though, is the Magic Garden. It's in an empty lot next to buildings which provide a space for the artist to suspend all types of random things like painted bikes, tiles, artwork, you name it. The floor of the place is covered in colorful tiles and scrap metal sculptures and it's just amazing. Zagar, the artist is the coolest dude you will ever meet, although he's only sociable with certain people. I've only seen him once.

"I figured we could stop at Fat Tuesday's first to get some drinks and food and then walk around for a bit. It's not too cold right now. What do you think?"

"I think this is the best date I've been on already." I smile and grab her hand as we walk down the street to get to the bar.

"What's your favorite animal San?"

She ponders my question for a second before answering.

"I'd have to say…Panthers. They're mysterious and protective. Also, all around badass. You?"

"I could see why you like them, they're just like you San. But your favorite animal would eat mine alive. I like giraffes. They're tall and just go about they're day eating leaves."

"Haha. Of course."

We laugh and then I stop abruptly when I see a familiar man with dark skin and green eyes. I stiffen up and Santana notices but doesn't say anything. Instead she grabs my hand, throws a 50 on the table, and brings me out into the night again. I love how she understands me without having to use words.

"Where to next Tana?"

"My all time favorite spot, The Magic Garden."

"Oh my god that's my favorite too San!"

"Well good cuz Zagar's there and the old man has a surprise for you."

We make our way down the street until we get to the amazingness that is the magic garden.

"Ahhh my favorite girl, Santana, and you must be Brittany. I can't get this one to shut up about you."

"Very funny Zag, now do you have what I asked you for?"

"How could I refuse a favor for my favorite lesbian?"

Damn Santana knows everyone. She's like a fuckin' celebrity in this town, and she's holding MY hand. How did I get so lucky?

Zagar finally comes back over after sifting through countless piles of metal and ceramic tiles. In his hands is a foot wide and about 6 inches long piece of thin glass covered in tiles. He hands it to me and I'm shocked at what I see. On the glass is a mosaic of a sunset with my name running through the middle of the scenery.

"T-this is for me?" Zag then answers me instead of Santana.

"This one here," he says pointing to San "called me up about a week ago for a special request, and I couldn't resist my favorite girl, even though I rarely give away my work. Here's a bag to carry it in. That shit's heavy."

I look over at Santana completely enamored with this girl, and give her the deepest kiss I could muster, until we're broken up by Zagar awkwardly coughing in the background.

"Oh but there's more to that Blondie, something more permanent, made by Santana herself."

Santana then leads me over to a section of the wall that's covered with a white cloth and rips it down. There lays another mosaic. But this time the pattern in the background is different shades of blue tiles and in the middle "S and B" is written out with metal welded letters.

"I know it's cheesy and kind of cliché, but I wanted to do something nice. And I know we've only known each other for about a month, and ughh, why is this so hard?"

I watch her stutter and stammer with an air appreciation towards this girl. No one has ever done something like this for me before, and everyone walking by will be able to see what she made for me. I'm so touched I might just cry.

"Just say what you have to say Tana. You're safe with me."

"O-ok. I-I'm just gonna spit it out. Brittany Pierce would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

She is too damn adorable. I put her out of her misery by jumping on her and wrapping my legs around her waist, kissing her furiously.

"Is that a yes?" She mumbles against my lips.

"That's a hell yes!"

We hang out with Zag for a little bit until it starts to get late and walk back to Santana's car. I think tonight was the best night of my life. No I KNOW it was the best night of my life.

"Hey B? I know we had sex already but, um would you wanna wait til maybe the second date and just sleepover tonight. I wanna cuddle you, but I also wanna treat you like you're more than a warm body."

"San tonight you treated me better than anyone has in my life, thank you so much, for everything. And yes I will come over and cuddle my girrrlfrienddd."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When we walk into San's house the sight we are met with is disturbing, yet hilarious. Puck is on the couch jerking off, watching porn, surrounded by tissues and bottles of lube. San walks over like it's nothing and slaps him on the back of the head.

"What the fuck Puck. You do have a room to do that shit without getting your jizz on my couch. You don't see me rubbin one out down here do you?"

"Oh Fuck! I thought it was still early. Time flies when your having fun." He chuckles and zips up his pants when he notices me.

"Oh shit Brittany you totally just saw my dick. My fault. Did you like San's presents for you? And you better have said yes to her, especially now since you've seen my man parts, we're practically family."

I laugh at him. He's fuckin' ridiculous.

"Yes how could I not say yes, have you met this girl?"

"Now Fuckerman if you don't mind I'm gonna take my girlfriend upstairs and cuddle the shit out of her. Goodnight."

We turn to walk up the steps and as we're ascending Puck calls out to us.

"Can I watch?"

Without stopping or turning to acknowledge him we both yell out at the same time.

"Fuck you!"

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I enter San's room and immediately flop on the bed, while she's kneeled over by her end table cutting out lines for the both of us. I look down at the bedspread and notice it mirrors that of mine, with burn holes littering the surface.

"You dip off with cigs too? Haha, my sheets look exactly the same."

"Yea it's like one second I'm completely there smoking my cig, and then the next I'm waking up with it half smoked in my fingers and a burn hole to go along with it."

We do the lines and then strip down to just our bras and panties. No need for pajamas here. Being taller I take the position of big spoon, plus I like when San feels so little curled into me, and it makes me feel good to be able to comfort this hard shelled woman. When I notice she's fallen asleep I take a moment to bask in her beauty before my eyelids grow heavy and, I too, am taken to dream land.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Please let me go! Jermaine please! Stop! Pleasseeee!"

I wake up screaming from yet another nightmare with Santana holding me and whispering calming words into my ear. When I finally settle down she looks at me with concern and I know she's gonna ask me something.

"B, you were screaming about some guy named Jermaine. Did he hurt you, Britt who hurt you?"

I turn away from her and whisper.

"Who hasn't?"

I know I'll have to tell her eventually but tonight is not that time. She finally lays down and holds me this time. So much for comforting her, I feel so weak.


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks to everyone who has followed and favorited this story, I don't know if that's a word but whatever. Still haven't really got any reviews as to whether this story is good or not, but I'll keep writing. Have a great day and enjoy!

_A shadow of my former self_

_The darkness seeping_

_Through invisible layers_

_Not at once air tight as before_

_The cracks have become a nuisance_

_The chain-mail pierced by the seething and unwanted_

_Naked my chest lay bare_

_Grasping to be robed once more_

_Urging onward the threat of unwanted emotion_

_Craving the once cold exterior_

_Praying to go back to mindless misery_

_To the comfort of the subconsciously barren_

_-AC_

Santana's POV

I'm so damn worried about Britt. What the hell was that dream about anyway? I have dreams like that where I wake up screaming and it's from scars of he past, so Brittany had to have been hurt by someone. And who the hell is this Jermaine dude she was yelling about? I wanna find him and kill him. What's one more person's blood on my hands right?

Man, how can me, a murderer, be good enough for someone like Brittany? What was I thinking getting involved with her? She's just gonna get hurt around me like Santos did. Well, it's too late now I think I'm falling in lo-

No not the L word. Fuck that. I can't love her, my soul's too empty for love. That option was taken away from me the moment my bitch of a mother dropped me on a pedophile's doorstep. The only people I can truly love are my family. Quinn and Santos, no one else. Everyone else either gets hurt by me or hurts me. Ah fuck it, lemme call Holly and get this batch right.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Holy shit! I did it Holly! I did it!"

I run around the lab ecstatic that I just got the batch right. And it's ten times better than Tom and Jerry.

"Snort this shit Holly, it's like an instant orgasm, I think I literally just came, several times."

Holly walks over and takes the straw from me, leans down near the pile of powder and inhales. Soon her eyes bug out of her head, and I know she agrees with me.

"Damn kid, I didn't think it was possible but this shit is better than T and J. The student has become the teacher."

She puts her palms together and bows to me like a Karate master.

"Yesss! Now I just gotta talk to Ty and set everything up so me and Santi can get the fuck outta here. I gotta call Britt and tell her to gather everyone at her house for a second opinion."

"Speaking of Britt, I hear you're dating now."

Suddenly I get bashful, like where the fuck does this come from?

"Yea," I say wistfully. "She's amazing."

"Watch out for that one Lopez, she might seem all bubbly and innocent, but that chick's got some major baggage."

"Who doesn't?"

"Alright S, but don't say I didn't warn ya."

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Sam's POV

"Evans! Go bring that piece of shit downstairs his dinner."

"I've never been down there Butch. What door is it?"

"Third door on the left."

I go down the steps and into the dingy basement. Whoever this person is I kinda feel bad for them. No one but rapists and killers deserve to be in a dump like this. I balance the tray of barely edible food on my right hand and open the door with my left. What's in that room is purely tragic. There's a Hispanic boy, no older than 16, chained to a chair bolted to the floor. He's bloody and shaking and for some reason I want to help him.

"Hey kid, I got some food for ya."

He doesn't answer me so I keep on talking.

"I don't know why you're here but you don't deserve to be treated like this, and why are you shivering? It's not cold in here at all."

Finally he lifts his head and decides to speak to me. He looks familiar but I just can't place his face.

"I-I'm dope sick. Hudson forces a needle in me and gets his kicks out of watching me suffer."

"Wow. He's a sick fuck."

"Why are you working for him then?"

Good question.

"I gotta support my own habit." I tell him while pulling up my sleeve to reveal the track marks littering my arm.

"You're an idiot. I used to work for him too. Now look where I am."

"Fair enough. Here let me uncuff you so you can eat."

I go over and take the cuffs off and loosen the chains a little so he can be more comfortable. He immediately reaches in his pocket and pulls out a very familiar bag of Tom and Jerry, sprinkles some on his fist and snorts it.

"How'd you get the good shit in this dump?"

"My sister makes it. She saw what Finn was doing to me and gave it to me so I could try to control the withdrawal. I promised her I'd never get into H, and I didn't plan on it, but Hudson just fucks everything up."

I'm baffled. His sister makes it? Doesn't Lopez make this shit?

"Wait, you sister is Santana?"

"Yea, why?"

"She's dating my best friend, Brittany, holy shit what a small world."

"Yea. How is she? My sister?"

"I guess as good as she can be with her brother in here. She never even said anything to me or I would have been lookin' out for you this whole time. Why do they have you anyway?"

"Long story short, I wanted to get outta the game and focus on school, Finn didn't like that. He found out my sister made the best dope in Kenso and kidnapped me to bribe her to make it just for him so his empire has the upper hand."

What the fuck? This is some fucked up shit. Poor San, she's so helpful to the people she cares for it must kill her to not be able to help her own damn brother. I gotta fix this.

"That's fucked up dude. I'm gonna try my best to help you out though. Here I got two bags on me you can have. I'll try to make sure you don't get sick, until you have to kick when you get outta here. And you will get out of here, I promise."

"Thanks man, what's your name by the way?"

"Sam," I put my hand out for him to shake it.

"Thanks for bein' cool Sam, I'm Santos."

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Santana's POV

"Yo Ty what's good?"

"Everything's good now that I got yo' fine ass in front of me Lopez. What do I owe the pleasure?"

I playfully slap him in the arm. This dude is too damn much. But I'm happy he's sweet cuz I'm about to make him a very rich man.

"Very funny. But on a serious note I wanna talk to you about somethin' can you come take a quick ride with me?"

He nods his head at me and signals one of his underlings to come cover the corner until he gets back. We walk to my car and I can't keep the smile off my face. Phase one of operation "Get the fuck outta the hood" is commencing.

"So Ty I got a business proposition for you."

He looks at me in anticipation urging me to go on.

"I know I don't need to tell you this, but just to make sure, keep this shit to yourself. "

I look around while we drive like someone could be there listening even though I know it's impossible, that's why I took him in my car in the first place. Street smarts kids.

"Ok get the fuck on wit it girl."

I turn the corner before saying what I have to say.

"I finally perfected a new batch, and it's better than T and J. I want you to be the only one to have it. I want your empire to knock Hudson's on it's ass. By having dope that's better than his, people will flock to you, and in turn by you selling my shit you get 35 percent of the profit."

"Ok, but why me? You could've asked any nigga in Kenso to do this."

"Because, Ty, you're the only trustworthy guy in this shit town and you have the crew to match. Now I got a kilo worth of bags already cut out if you're down?"

"Alright Lopez it's a deal" He shakes my hand as we pull into an alley. I pop the trunk and pull out my new baby.

"What's it called?"

"Blue. It's my girlfriend's favorite color."

"How romantic, who you datin'?"

"You might know her she lives on your block, her names Brittany."

He smiles this goofy ass smile at me and I'm like "what the fuck what did I say?"

"My two favorite ladies are datin' eachother, and I'm bout to take Hudson down, I think I might just do the Charlie Brown right here in this alley."

"You know Britt?"

"Yea that's my baby B. She's been buying from me for like 5 years now. When she was broke and dope sick I would help her out and then she would try to pay me back more than she owed me. Such a sweetheart, and damn she's fine too. Get ittttt!"

"Yea that's my girl. But here's the shit, lemme know what people think. And remember you didn't get this from me, say some Asian lady in China Town made it or some shit. But thanks so much Ty, you have no idea how much you're helping me. When I get outta here Ima give you my formulas so you can get off the streets."

"You're helpin' me too ma. I got you."

After that wonderful meeting I decide to drop by Britt's and surprise everyone with my new baby. I knock on the door and Sam opens it with a smile, but then his smile falls and it worries me.

"Hey Santana can I talk to you before you go get Britt? It's important."

I look at him with worry and go sit on the couch anxiously tapping my foot.

"I don't know if you knew this, but I work for Hudson."

"I didn't know, but go on."

"Well today they told me to deliver food for a guy they kidnapped. It was your brother San. Why didn't you tell me Hudson had him, and why he had him?"

"I didn't know it was any of your fuckin' business Sam!"

I get defensive and go to stand up but he gently grabs my wrist and pulls me back down.

"I'm saying this because I want to help Santana. I know the shit you're in and how awesome you are and I just wanna make it better. Santos told me how Finn's been shooting him up. He was on the last bag you gave him so I gave him 2 of mine. I also convinced Finn to let me be the one who brings him his meals and shit. I can be an inside man for you San, you deserve to have your brother back."

I sit back bewildered at Sam's words. No man has ever wanted to help me without getting something from me. So what the fuck does he want?

"Why are you so willing to help? What do you get out of this?"

"Nothing, I'm just doing the right thing for once."

He's so sincere with his words I can't help but believe him. I should let him in on my plan. I tell him all about the new batch and how Ty is going to be the only seller. He agrees to keep an ear listening to Hudson and his goons, and since he has the keys, as soon as we have enough money Sam will unchain Santos so we can flee to California.

"So yeah, that's the plan."

"What about Britt?"

"If she wants to come she can, but Santi is my blood and my first priority, ya know. I would love to have her there but that's her choice."

"I can dig it San."

I go into my backpack and pull out a perfect bundle, 14 bags of pure heaven.

"Here's the new shit. I swear you're gonna flip shit when you get a taste of that."

I turn towards the steps and make my way up to B's room. I see Quinn in passing and we hug and keep going. I finally make it up those three damn flights of stairs and question whether or not I should quit smoking. But then I think, better not, it can't be any worse for me than the heroin. I knock on the door and when Britt opens it, to say she was excited would be an understatement.

"Tana! I'm so happy you're here I was just thinkin' about you."

"Would what you were thinking involve me being naked?"

"Mayyybe. But come in babe."

Babe I like the sound of that. It's sounds so much better rolling off her tongue. I tell her of my plan and the new batch and how Sam is helping with Santos. I'm so excited life seems to finally be going in a positive direction.

"So when we move to Cali you're welcome to come, but if not I understand, you're whole life is here."

"San there is nothing more that I want than to leave this city and everything involved with it. Yea I'd miss my friends but I'd be gaining so much more if I left."

She looks sad so I lean over and kiss her, trying to transfer my happiness through my lips. It's getting heated pretty fast and I'm about to take Britt's shirt off, when I hear Quinn scream. It has to be a loud scream for me to hear it all the way up here, even with the shitty thin walls. I pull away from Britt and in the same motion take my gun out of my back pack. I throw the bag onto my back and barrel down the stairs. Quinn has her hands up and a guy in a ski mask is pointing a gun at her. I jump down the last three steps and shove Britt behind me while raising my gun up to this jackass.

"Put the fuckin' gun down ass hole!"

Quinn turns to see me a relief floods her features. I can't see Britt but I can tell how scared she is by how tight she's gripping the back of my shirt.

"Fuck you cunt. Do you even know how to use that gun? You're like 100 pounds that shit's gonna knock you backwards!"

He laughs, that motherfucker laughs. He must not know who the fuck I am and the fact that I stabbed a man to death before I was even a teenager. I'm about to speak but then movement in the living room distracts the man and I take my opening. I quickly run up to him and kick the gun out of his hand and across the floor to where Quinn picks it up and now points his own gun at him. But no I'm not done yet, he had a gun to my sister's head.

I kick him square in the balls and when he hunches over I hit him in the back of the head with the butt of my gun, causing him to drop to the ground. I straddle him and proceed to bash his face in with all my might.

"You. _Punch_. Tried. _Punch_. To rob. _Punch Punch_. The wrong. _Punch_. Bitch!"

I black out after that point and don't remember anything until I feel a hand on my arm and hear Britt calling my name.

"San! You're gonna kill him stop! Santana!"

At the use of my whole name the outside world comes back to me and I look down at the bloody mess of a man who's ski mask came off at sometime between him trying to shoot my friend and me beating the shit out of him. He's conscious still but barely. I'm still shaking with rage when I turn around and see Sam and Britt staring at me with wide eyes. Quinn's just sitting on the couch with the guys gun in her lap smokin' a cig like it's another normal day. That's why she's my sister, she's just as badass as me. But Brittany looks scared of me and I immediately feel like shit. I grab my bag and put the gun back in it and turn to Q.

"Q. Hide all the shit in this house and call the cops to pick this dickhead up."

"Way ahead of ya Tana. Thanks by the way, you always save my ass."

Still shaking with rage I just nod and try not to meet B's eyes because I'm kind of ashamed of myself. Every time I get into a rage like that I black out and have no idea what the damage will be when I come back to reality. She finally comes closer and puts her hand on my shoulder but I shrug it off. I don't deserve compassion right now, I just terrified my girlfriend, I couldn't even control myself. If no one else was here I would have killed him. I know it for a fact.

"Are you ok San?"

"Yea B, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Then stop looking."

With that I turn around and leave. My hands are covered in blood but I don't give a fuck. I get in my car and light up a cig and suck on the now bloody filter. His blood or mine? I don't know.

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"She'll be ok Britt, I've seen this side of San many times. She just feels ashamed that once she gets going she can't stop and she feels like you're scared of her now. But you were able to stop her with a single touch of her arm. I've never seen that. In high school she beat up a girl for calling her a Spic and two huge football players had to literally rip her off the girl and she was still throwing punches in the air. The girl ended up with three broken ribs, a broken nose, and a shattered jaw. The only injury S had was bloody knuckles."

"Holy shit. How does she do that when she's so little?"

Brittany is truly amazed at the power of the Latina. There must be so much rage bottled up in that little body of hers but for some reason she's not scared. She knows San would never intentionally hurt her.

"She can do it because she's been fighting through life ever since that bitch dropped her off in a box."

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Santana storms into her house, hands covered in blood, and immediately starts pacing the living room floor. Puck notices the state she's in and springs off the couch and grabs both of her shoulders to make the small girl stay still.

"What the fuck happened Tana? Are you ok?"

"Do I fuckin' look ok Puck! Someone held Q at gunpoint at the house and I beat the shit out of him but I blacked out again and almost fuckin killed him. Britt stopped me with one touch. One fuckin' touch! But when I saw the look in her eyes it made me so ashamed of myself." She bows her head down thinking about the fear exuding from Brittany. Her girlfriend isn't supposed to be scared of her. She thinks Britt will never want to see her again, and maybe it's for the best she doesn't.

"Whoa, calm down babe, calm down. You protected your sister and your girlfriend, there is no need to be ashamed of yourself. You hear me! No need."

"I can't control myself once I start hitting someone Puck. What if my rage comes out and I hit Brittany and I don't know what I'm doing until it's too late? I'm a killer Puck. I don't deserve any compassion or love, I should just set her free while I still can. Before she gets involved in anymore of my shit."

"First of all San, I know you would never hit Brittany. You know how I know that? It's because you care for her, extremely. And when you care about someone you do whatever it takes to protect them. Second, yes, you killed people. But you had to do it to protect your own flesh and blood Tana. That person, the one who sacrificed her own dreamless sleep for nightmares, isn't a monster."

Santana crumbles down to the floor in a heap of sobs and Puck sits down beside her and pulls the girl into his lap, rocking back and forth until the blanket of sleep drapes itself over her. He then picks her up and places her into bed making sure to keep her bloody hands off of the sheets. Puck retreats into the bathroom and wets a washcloth. Carefully he picks up one of Santana's hands and scrubs the crimson off, then repeating the motion with her other hand. Finally he pulls the covers up to her chin and tucks her in. Then kisses her forehead, and retreats into his room.

***The drama ball is starting to get rollin' let me know if you guys have any ideas crazier than mine. And thanks so much for reading, it means a lot =]


	12. Chapter 12

Hey everyone thanks for reading! I got a review from a guest and just wanna clear some stuff up

Guest: whoever you are, firstly thanks for the review it was cool you took time out to drop me some comments. Regarding the grammar not being right, sometimes that's a mistake, but most of the time I make the narrator speak in a philly slang to get the voice of the words off of the paper and get a feel of the dialect we use but I can see what you're saying.

And the drug use seems tame because I don't want the whole story to be describing over and over the process of snorting line or shooting up. The air of drug abuse is also light because in some cases, like I myself have been in, the drugs kind of run your life in the background and no one really sees how deep you are into it and your conscious kind of downplays the ridiculousness of what you go through just to get high especially when your friends are doing the same thing. And if you like dark this story is about to get midnight dark lol

Woo that was long. Hope I cleared that up and thanks so much for

the review =]

and to clear up the measurement I made a little drug graph for ya

1 ten dollar bag= .1 gram

10 bags = 1 gram

a bundle is 14 bags =about 1.5 grams and costs 100-110 bucks

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_Grandpa said que cera cera_

_What will be will be_

_But I cant help but worry_

_What will become of me?_

_-AC_

Santana's POV

From: Sweets

San are you ok? I'm really worried about you. Text me back please =[

From: Sweets

Please answer me so I at least know you're alive.

From: Sweets

That's it I'm coming over.

Ughh what the fuck does she want from me? I can't even text her back let alone look her in the eyes and all I can see when I try to sleep is that frightened look B had. Good thing the doors locked so she can't get in.

I decide to wash away all feelings by resorting to my favorite thing. Getting high. Dope is like a snow plow for feelings. It pushes them out of the way and off to the side of the road to fester and become darker like the snow that becomes black from the dirt of the world. Eventually that snow melts, but the liquid still flows down the streets into crevices that are untouchable. Right now I want my feelings to fall into said crevices. Just push them down like I always do. I don't have the luxury of feelings. If I did nothing would get done and I'd be one of those crying defenseless bitches and I refuse to let myself be that girl again. The girl with no control. The girl who was beaten by a grown man. The one forced to turn tricks by a sadistic old bitch. No, not going back to that. I'm pouring out the tenth bag that I've done in a matter of three hours, when the doorbell rings. Fuck it's Brittany, I know it is. Good thing the doors locked so she cant get-

"Hey Puck is San around? She hasn't texted me back in like three days."

What the fuck? Of course dumb ass Puck let her in. I'm gonna beat his ass.

"Yea B. She's upstairs in her room. She's been there for days."

Great fucking great. I'm going to get under the covers and pretend I'm sleeping. Yea, that's the plan. I just make it under the covers and lay down when I hear the door to my room slowly creak open.

"San, I know you're not sleeping. You left a whole pile of dope on your end table and no one goes to sleep willingly with that still out. Plus you're breathing really fast."

I groan and flip the covers off of me. I'm just wearing my favorite Doors t-shirt and a thong but I don't care she's seen it all before and she wasn't even invited so she's just gonna have to deal with it.

"What do you want Britt?"

"I wanted to see how you are because you refuse to answer my calls and texts San."

"Maybe there was a reason I didn't answer."

I hear her huff and she comes and sits down on the bed with me. We're silent for a moment until Britt decides to speak again.

"Don't push me away San. I know you think you're going to hurt me somehow. But I know you won't and I'm not scared."

"I-I'm scared of myself." I say in barely a whisper.

"Remember when you told me your story to make me feel better?" I nod my head, yes I remember that horrible chore of recounting all of my pasts shadows.

"Well Tana, I think it's about time I tell you my story."

"B, you don't have to, I know how hard it is."

"No, I need to do this to show you I can handle much more than you're giving me credit for."

"A-alright, but if you wanna stop at any point, stop. Ok?"

"Of course Tana. Now it started when I went out for pizza with my parents…"

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_Brittany and her parents, Ali and Kevin, are sitting in Charlie's Pizza having a great time. Brittany misses her sister Bree and wishes she didn't decide to sleep over her friend's house. But Bree's 8 and it's her first sleepover so Brittany is happy for her. _

_The little 12 year old blonde carves her initials into the wooden table where she can find a blank spot amongst all the other names of kids throughout Norristown who've sat here before her. She finishes her pizza and walks to the back to play a game of Pac Man. That's when she notices a stuffed unicorn in the case of the claw machine. _

_"Daddy can you win that Unicorn for me, it's too hard I can't get it."_

_She throws on her signature pout to get her way, but she doesn't need to use it. Her father loves his children more than life itself. Kevin kisses his wife on the cheek and goes over to the pesky claw machine. By the time he gets the unicorn out he's spent the last ten dollars he had, after paying for the pizza. _

_"Yess! I love you Daddy thank you so much! I'm never letting Mr. Unicorn out of my site. He's my new best friend."_

_"Hey I thought I was your best friend Britty?"_

_"You still are Dad, but you don't poop rainbows like Mr. Unicorn."_

_Kevin shakes his head. He truly loves the imagination of his little girls. Bree is much the same as Brittany with whimsical stories and equally as energetic delivery as her older sister. He wonders if Bree is having fun. He misses his other little girl. Ali hears her husband and daughter's conversation and can't help but laugh._

_"Hey Kev maybe we can feed you glitter so you can poop rainbows too."_

"Hahaha poop rainbows B? That's awesome. But that's the same unicorn you still have on your bed all the time?"

"Yup I promised my Dad I'd never let him out of my site."

_The family is all laughs walking down the street the short distance back to their home. Then out of nowhere a huge 6 foot something 250 pound man jumps out in front of them holding a gun. _

_"Don't fuckin' move or I'll shoot all of you!"_

_The whole family raises their hands up in surrender, including Brittany, while she still clings to the unicorn her father just won her. _

_"We don't have anything, buddy. We're from here too, we probably have less money than you do."_

_This just makes the man angry. It's so dark all Brittany can see is the glow of his green eyes contrasting against his dark skin. She's terrified and literally shaking. _

_"Don't fuckin' talk unless you're spoken to! And I don't want you're money. I want you're daughter."_

_He looks over at Brittany with the sickest smirk she has ever seen and her stomach drops. She feels her pizza about to make a reappearance, but holds it down as to not anger the man any further. _

_"Please,"Ali tries to plead with the man. "Please don't hurt my baby!"_

_"Oh, I'll take real good care of her."_

_That's when the shots rang out piercing through the silence of the night._

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

_Two shots each penetrate through the chests of Kevin and Ali Pierce, leaving their daughter shaking and alone in front of her parents' killer. She grips her stuffed unicorn as hard as she can and before she knows it, a car pulls up and she's being thrown into the backseat with the dark, green-eyed man following. _

"Holy shit B. I'm so sorry. They seemed like awesome parents. But what happened with your sister?"

Brittany bows her head remembering her sister's blue eyes and blonde hair that mimics her own.

"I still haven't seen her to this day."

_Brittany sits in the backseat of the car shaking as she watches the scenery pass by and says a silent goodbye to the town she has spent all her life in. She also thinks of her sister and thanks god she wasn't there to get hurt, or worse, killed like her parents. The car circles onto the onramp of 422 and she watches the signs of towns pass one after the other while a brunette white woman drives the car at an alarming speed. Finally the car pulls off onto the exit for Allentown. She knows she's far away, being that they've been driving for close to an hour. Finally the car stops in front of a rickety looking house that's closest neighbor is at least a mile away. The man grips Brittany by her hair and drags her from the driveway to the front door while the woman shakily unlocks the door and opens it. The man throws Brittany inside and tries to rip the unicorn from her hands until the woman interjects. _

_"Jermaine let the girl keep her fuckin' toy it's all she has!"_

_Jermaine lets go of the toy but backhands the woman clear across the face. _

_"Casey you know better than to talk back to me you bitch! I had to do this because you're so bad at everything that you can't even mother a fuckin' child for me!"_

_The woman whimpers and backs off throwing Brittany an apologetic look with broken hazel eyes. _

_"What's your name little girl?" Jermaine questions_

_Brittany looks up from the floor and as she's telling the man her name, she vomits all over his feet, causing him to go into another fit of rage. He throws the girl over his shoulder and opens the door to the unfinished basement. When he makes it to the bottom, Jermaine tosses the fragile girl onto the cement floor and starts beating her. Punch after punch after punch. Eventually the unicorn is thrown into the corner of the rancid smelling basement and Jermaine begins to loosen the buckle of his pants. Casey tries to stop him, but he's too strong and tosses her into a wall effectively knocking the woman unconscious. _

_"You're gonna like this you little bitch."_

_He flicks his belt off and wraps in around Brittany's throat, cutting off her air supply. He then shimmies out of his pants and Brittany can see the bulge in his boxers growing larger. He proceeds to rip off Brittany's favorite Giraffe print leggings she was still wearing from dance class and enters her roughly. He pumps harshly for a few minutes and then pulls out, ejaculating on the young girls face as she gasps for air tugging at the belt around her neck. Jermaine takes the belt and loops it back through his crusty jeans. Without a word he spits on the shaking, bleeding girl, and goes back upstairs. Locking the door from the outside. With all the energy she can muster, Brittany crawls across the basement to retrieve her unicorn. Once it's in her possession she presses her back into the corner of the cold dark basement, pulls her knees to her chest, and cries. At this same moment she decides to rename Mr. Unicorn. She mashes both of her parents' names together and decides to call him Kali. _

Brittany is now laying on Santana's bed with the smaller girl holding her from behind. Santana can't believe how someone could hurt such a sweet person as Brittany. She wants to kill that fucking man with her bare hands.

"So the Casey lady tried to help you?"

"As best as she could, but she was basically in the same position as me. That is, until she couldn't help anymore."

_Casey finally comes to and notices Brittany shivering in the corner with blood covering her face and running down her thighs. She feels sick that she brought this girl into Jermaine's fucked up little world. She wants to help her but doesn't know how. Because, after all, she's stuck here too. She crawls over to the girl slowly, making sure not to scare her. Casey notices the death grip she has on the stuffed animal and is glad she took a hit to let the little girl keep it. She eventually gets right up next to Brittany and wraps her arms around the beaten and bruised 12 year old. _

_"Shhh. I'm not gonna tell you it's going to be ok, because it's not, but I will do my best to protect you."_

_"Why did you drive the car then and bring me here!"_

_Brittany yells and pushes the brunette woman off of her. Casey feels horrible she truly does, but if she doesn't do as Jermaine says, he will kill her and that's a fact. _

_"Honey, I'm in the same situation as you." She lifts up her shirt to reveal deep purple and yellow bruises, some fresh, some new._

_"If I didn't do what he told me to, he would have killed me. But now seeing that I aided in ruining another life, I wish he had just killed me. I'm so sorry Brittany. So so sorry…."_

_Casey holds the crying girl until she can't hear movement upstairs. She walks over to the slop sink on the other side of the basement and wets a rag. She makes her way back to Brittany's side and gently scrubs the blood off of her face. After the little girls face is clear from any remaining red stains, she rinses off the rag and comes back with it cleaned and hands it to Brittany. Blue eyes and Hazel have a silent conversation and Brittany knows what the new rag is for. She gently scrubs her own inner thighs, being careful of the bruising and going higher and higher until she reaches her most private area. She cleans herself with tears in her eyes while Casey rubs her back lovingly. _

_By morning, Brittany can tell it's around that time, by peaking through the tiny rectangular windows adoring the basement, Casey is nowhere to be found. She's hungry, cold, and in pain. She curses Casey for leaving her down there and even more so, wishes death upon that evil, evil man. _

_Hours pass and still the only company she has is Kali, the unicorn. Then the door to the basement creaks open and Casey walks down the steps with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder and a happy meal in her hand. Ironic right? A fuckin' happy meal. _

_"I got some clothes in here for ya kid, and I got food. Sorry I took so long I had to wait til Dick Head passed out again. I found an ipod and headphones upstairs so you can dance too. The clothes you were wearing I assumed you were a dancer?"_

_"I'm not a dancer anymore and nothing about that meal is fucking happy. Plus, why don't we just leave if he's passed out?"_

_Casey is shocked at the shift in Brittany's attitude going from scared to angry, but she doesn't blame her. _

_"We can't leave because he locks us in the house and hides the keys. The only time I see daylight is if he's with me. Like this morning when I let him sodomize me under the agreement that we would go out and get you clothes and food."_

_Casey throws the bag and the happy meal at Brittany's feet._

_"What's sodomize mean? Does that have something to do with soda?"_

_Casey actually chuckles a bit, even though it's not a laughing matter, but this kids just too damn funny._

_"No honey, it's what he did to you last night, but in the rear end instead."_

_Brittany is shocked by this and cringes in disgust. How can someone be so damn evil? She then remembers the happy meal and devours the chicken nuggets and fries while Casey sits down and keeps her company. She thinks Casey truly has a good heart. _

_"I got you this shirt with a unicorn on it cuz you seem to like them."_

_"Thanks Casey, thank you for putting yourself in harms way to try and help me."_

_She hugs the older woman but not long after the booming sounds of Jermaine barreling down the steps echoes throughout the basement. He forces Casey to go upstairs and she does so reluctantly while giving Brittany a sympathetic look. Jermaine then slaps Brittany in the face and that morning she really learned sodomy had nothing to do with soda. _

Brittany now has tears flowing down her face as Santana holds her as if she might float away.

"It went on like that for three years. Him hurting me, and then Casey cleaning me up. The only time I was allowed upstairs was to shower because he said he didn't want to fuck someone who smelled like shit. But even when I showered he sat on the toilet and watched. After one particularly rough night, me and Casey made a plan to escape…"

_Casey thought she put enough Vicodin in Jermaine's beer to knock him out. She thought they were quiet when they used the keys she found in his pocket to open the front door, and she thought as they made it to the beat up car, that they were home free. She thought wrong. As Casey's hand reached for the car door, and Brittany was circling the other side with her duffle full of clothes Casey had given her, Jermaine burst through the front door with a gun. He gripped Casey by the hair and pointed the gun at Brittany. _

_"You two think you're so fuckin slick don't you? You've made a huge mistake! Get in the house Brittany!"_

_She stalled for a second and within that brief period he pointed the gun at the ground and shot Casey in the foot. Being so far away from anyone else, no one heard the screams coming from the front yard. Brittany finally came to her senses and ran back into the house, with Jermaine dragging the other girl behind her. _

_He locked them all back into the house and dropped Casey on the ground. He then made his way over to a cowering, now 15 year old Brittany, and threw her down the basement steps. _

"Wait you were 15 when this happened? Didn't he send you to school?"

"No I only have up to a 6th grade education and he couldn't send me to school because I was filed as a missing person. My face was literally on a milk carton."

"Shit babe."

_Brittany sat in the basement, nursing her ribs that were now cracked from being thrown down the steps, and listened to the screaming and banging going on upstairs. She prayed for Casey to be ok, even though she didn't really believe in God anymore, she still knelt on the floor begging for her friend to be ok. Then that's when she heard it. More gunshots, followed by a loud thump that made the ceiling of the basement release dust into the air, and then deafening silence. Brittany instantly knew Casey was dead, and the blood and dirt covering Jermaine further proved her theory was right. He walked over to a cowering Brittany and slapped her across the face leaving a bloody handprint on her cheek. He then proceeded to rub the remains of Casey's blood all over the blonde's clothes. _

_"You see this? This blood is on your hands. If you weren't a stupid little bitch and convinced Casey to escape, she would be alive!"_

_When he was done screaming he resorted to hitting and with a certain hard blow, Brittany's world went black. When she came to she was bloody and naked laying on the cement floor of the basement with her arms and legs bound. _

"You know it wasn't your fault Brit, right? Casey made that decision herself, and you could have never known that would happen."

"No, I don't know that it wasn't my fault."

Brittany released herself from Santana's arms and cut out 7 lines, one for each year Casey has been gone, and did them one after the other. Santana watched with sadness in her eyes. She wants to make it better, but knows there is no way she could. Brittany pulls out a cigarette from the pack with her teeth and offers Santana one. She lights the cigarette and inhales the bitter smoke, filling her lungs, and lays back down to continue her story.

_Eventually Jermaine realized it was no fun raping Brittany with her hands and feet bound. He liked it when she squirmed and fought, that was half the fun. So he untied her hands and had his fun with her day and night. Brittany had lost all concept of time. The only clues she was given was whether light shone through the tiny windows of the basement or not depicting to her that it was daytime. The other indication of what time of the year it was at that point, was whether or not snow gathered on the outside of those same windows. Eventually Jermaine started coming down and giving her Oxycontin. _

_"This will make you like it more." He'd say to her. But all Brittany knew was that it numbed her soul from hurting and kept her from thinking about her dead parents and her sister who was god knows where. As time went by her body got used to the daily dose of opiates and started to crave it when she was deprived of her fix. Jermaine noticed the signs of withdrawal when he saw the girl shivering in the shower as he watched her clean herself. _

_"You know I got what you need Britty. You can't ever leave now."_

_She believed him. She didn't want to feel sick like that ever again. So she obeyed him when he would shove himself into her mouth, or when he wanted anal sex. Brittany noticed two winters had passed since Casey died, meaning she was 17 now. 17 and still stuck in this bastard's house. So, with all the free time she had locked in the basement, she started plotting her escape. _

_One night she got Jermaine so high that he forgot to lock the basement door when he went upstairs to shower for work. Whatever he did for work, she didn't know, but she did know she only had a good 20 minutes to get the fuck outta there. Quickly, she gathered the clothes into the duffel bag Casey had given her and then stuffed Kali the unicorn into the same bag. She did promise her Dad to never let him out of her sight, after all. But having no shoes would make this getaway difficult. Jermaine had taken any shoes in the house and locked them away into his room to deter her from running away again. But not this time, nothing would get in the way of her escape. _

_She barreled up the steps, wrapped a shirt around her fist, and punched the window out. As she crawled through the window shards of glass cut up her legs and arms, but she didn't care, she needed to get out, and fast. Brittany remembered all the scenery they drove by the night she was kidnapped, every single detail. She ran as fast as she could into the surrounding woods knowing it would be harder to find her there. Her feet were bleeding, but she ran and ran until her body gave up on her and she collapsed onto the forest floor. Luckily it was nearing the end of winter and spring was coming in warm and gentle. Brittany held on to her unicorn that night like it was her only lifeline. When she woke in the morning she immediately started walking again. After walking for a whole three days on and off only stopping to rest in the woods next to the highway, she finally saw her hometown for the first time in 5 years. But withdrawal started to bite at her, and she didn't have any money to buy pills. So she did the only thing she knew how to do, sex. She started turning tricks on Cherry Street and was living in random allies, or when it was cold, she would have a man pay her for a whole night so she could have a place to shower and rest her head. She searched for her sister everywhere but had no luck. Brittany called the cops and told them about Jermaine, but he had already left the house, nowhere to be found. She just wanted to die, really. Everything she ever knew was taken away from her. Then, one night, while in one of her customer's cars, the man drove them into the city while she gave him a blow job. Right as he finished in her mouth, he spit on her and pushed her out of the car in front of 30__th__ street station. She crawled over to the sidewalk and stood up, eventually deciding to go into the station to sleep. That's when two Asian kids, a boy and a girl found her, and offered her a place to stay. The boy carried her the whole way. She stayed at the house for a year with her new friends Mike, Tina, Sam, and Quinn, turning tricks on the streets, until Quinn got her a job at Headliner's. They all refused to give her heroin, telling her she would never go back to pills once she got a taste of the good shit. But she didn't believe them, so when a fellow stripper offered her the heavenly powder, she snorted it with no reservations. The next morning she bought her first bundle from Ty, and the rest is history. _

To say Santana was baffled by this story, would be watering down the emotions she felt. She wanted to hurt that bastard, more than hurt him. She wanted to maim the shit out of him. To tie him down and pull his nails out one by one. She holds a crying Brittany and wants nothing more than to rid her of all her pain.

"Thank you for telling me your story Sweets, I know it was hard, but I promise you I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Brittany turns around in San's arms and kisses her deep and slow like she's never kissed anyone before. Never has she had slow romantic, normal sex, with anyone. But as she looks into Santana's brown eyes, she wants nothing more than to try it with this amazing girl. Little does she know Santana's thinking the same thing. Neither of them has ever been able to enjoy sex without some element of violence incorporated into it. Neither one of them has wanted to chance being vulnerable enough to actually make love to someone else, and in turn be made love to. Brittany speaks first solidifying the need to try this new thing.

"Tana can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can ask me anything."

"C-can we try to have normal, passionate, sex? I know you're like me and it's hard to do, but if I wanna try it with someone. I want that someone to be you."

Santana doesn't answer, she just grabs her girlfriends face and lovingly kisses her forehead, then her eye lids and nose, until she makes her way to her lips and fuses them with hers. Brittany grabs her ass and pulls her closer making sure she doesn't get too rough. The Latina then straddles the blonde and trails kisses from her lips to her neck nipping and sucking at the pale flesh. She then takes her own shirt off, leaving the brunette in only her black lace panties. Then she pulls at the hem of Brittany's shirt bringing it over the taller girls head and in the same motion unclasps her bra to reveal the most perfect breasts she's ever seen. Santana brings one of the nipples into her mouth while kneading the other breast with her left hand. Brittany's soft moans are all that's heard in the quiet room. She travels lower and lower placing wet open-mouthed kisses on every inch of Brittany's flesh. When she gets down to the blonde's panties she first kisses the wet spot that resides on Brittany's core before removing the sky blue thong she dons. Brittany can now feel the cool air hitting her where she knows she's never been this wet before. Santana starts slowly and teasingly kissing Britt's inner thigh, making the girl buck her hips, urging the Latina to go where she's needed most. Santana finally gives in and dives her tongue into her girlfriend's pussy. She's never tasted anything so good or heard a song better than the symphony of moans coming out of the taller girl.

Brittany decides it's time to show San some lovin' and flips them over so she's on top. She repeats the same motions as her counterpart. Slowly and lovingly kissing her from head to toe. She then gets an idea and tells the other girl to sit up. She brings one of Santana's legs over her own and places her other leg over Santana's free one. Finally crashing both of their cores together, they rock as one, letting out soft moans and whispering each other's names as they work together towards climax. Their moans get louder and louder as they feel themselves starting to lose all control. Santana kisses Brittany slowly before pulling back and whispering into her ear.

"Cum with me B."

That's all the blonde needed to hear to completely let go and feel her orgasm rip through her and at the same time Santana starts to spasm and call out Brittany's name.

They both hold each other like that for a good 20 minutes resting their chin on the other's shoulder while tears of happiness flow down from their cheeks to the opposites back. It's much like the first time for the pair of them. This is the first time they've had sex that either wasn't paid for or hit in the process. This is the first time sex felt like something else for the both of them. Something a lot like love. And they are both thinking the same thing as they whisper an emotion filled and loaded "Thank you" in each other's ear at the same exact time.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey Everyone. Thanks again for reading it means a lot, especially since you've taken to the Philly setting, it's my hometown and I'm glad you like it.

_Why gaze upon the skies?_

_When nothing upon the horizon_

_Compares to that of your eyes_

_-AC_

"Hey Ty what's got you callin' so damn early?"

"Got good news ma. The streets is lovin' that new shit. I got a little over 6 g's for you."

"Legit. I'm makin B some breakfast right now but I'll be around Kenso later. I'll hit you up."

"K see ya S."

Santana hangs up the phone and continues to make Brittany breakfast. Everything seems new to her. The passionate sex, making someone breakfast in the morning. Usually she gets off and before she's even dressed she's telling the other girl to leave. Brittany's not like any other girl though, she thinks, she's special. Finally finishing the omelet and putting it on a plate with toast, Santana grabs a cup of coffee and heads up to her room where a gorgeous blonde still lays.

She places the food and coffee on the end table and cuts out three lines for each of them, remembering Brittany can't eat unless she uses first. Santana kneels on the bed and tucks a blonde strand of hair behind the other girls ear before kissing her awake. The smile that erupts onto Brittany's face is the most adorable thing Santana has ever seen. Brittany finally opens her eyes and see's the breakfast on the table and the lines laid out. She looks up to Santana as if asking, "For me?" Santana nods and gets bashful all of a sudden. Brittany loves her badass side, but she's glad she's the only one who gets to see Santana like this. No walls, just a small brunette, with a heart bigger than the whole city.

"No one's ever made me breakfast before."

"I've never made breakfast for anyone before."

Brittany does her lines before devouring the meal her girlfriend cooked for her. She feels like this has been the best night and morning of her life. The blonde had no trace of any nightmare last night. She actually dreamed, an actual pleasant dream, for the first time since she was 12. After she finishes her food Santana speaks up again.

"I um. Fuck. I was gonna go visit Santi today and was um wondering if you wanted to come meet him? It's cool if you don't I mean it must be weird and all- "

"Tana, I would be honored to meet your brother. That means so much to me that you would bring me there."

Santana coughs awkwardly and nods her head smiling. This feelings shit is gonna kill her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After showering, Santana drops by Britt's house so she can get changed before they go to see Santos. She picks up the cash from Ty and gives him another kilo to sell. She holds the envelope full of money in her hand, and knows she should be saving it, but gets another idea. She knows exactly what she's going to do with the money. She walks in the house and Quinn's on the couch so she decides to wait for Brittany there.

"Hey S, what's up? You look different today. Dare I say happy?"

Santana punches her arm, but does so as she's still smiling.

"Q, I think I actually might be. I think im falling in lo-" She looks away and tries to cover her slip up.

"I think I'm falling for Britt."

"San you fell about three months ago and haven't stopped tumbling."

"Haha shut up Q. Pass me that blunt."

Quinn passes her the burning blunt and watches as Santana inhales the smoke with a smile. She has never seen her sister so happy and she's glad it's Britt that's making this side of her show. The side no one but Quinn usually gets to see.

"It's really good to see you smile and it not look like it's painful. When you force it you kinda look constipated. Just sayin."

"Fuck you bitch." She takes the blunt and ashes it on Quinn's lap.

"Oh I see how it is but you're gonna regret that."

Quinn tackles the Latina to the floor, making the blunt fly out of her hand in the process. They start wrestling each other, switching dominance when one catches the other by surprise. Brittany comes down there stairs and is greeted by the sounds of her girlfriend and roommate squealing and laughing as they try to wrestle. She smiles at this. It might just be the cutest thing she's ever seen. Finally she coughs and Quinn looks up as she's pinning Santana to the floor. The brunette follows her line of sight and spots Brittany.

"Quinn, you better not be tryna fondle my woman." She laughs

"Gross B, just gross." She hops off of Santana, but not before smacking her on top of her head one last time.

Santana get off the floor and brushes herself off before taking in the sight of her gorgeous girlfriend. She walks over and kisses her long and slow.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks babe. I want Santos to know how hot his sister's girlfriend is haha."

"You'd be hot in anything."

They forget Quinn is there until she starts making gagging noises. Both of the girls turn and flip her the finger.

"Whoa there ladies. No need to be hostile. Can I talk to S for a minute though Britt? Then she's all yours."

Brittany is confused but nods and goes to smoke a cig on the front porch.

"What's up Q?"

"Well, as you know, Britt's Birthday is February 27th, and that's about a week away. Did you have anything planned cuz I kinda wanted to throw her a party?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I have an idea, but I need your help."

"Say no more. Q is here for her favorite queer."

Santana punches her again before laying out her plans.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Here's Hudson's package can I go see my brother now?"

The big oaf leads both of the girls to the basement, where they find Santos shivering and sweating again. Santana immediately pulls a plastic bag full of dope out of her back pack and sprinkles it on her first for her brother to snort. He thanks her and then notices a blonde that's not Quinn, in the room. Santana senses his confusion and motions a nervous Brittany, to come closer.

"Santi, I want you to meet someone very special to me. This is my girlfriend, Brittany."

"Ahh, so you're the one that's removed San's head from her ass? I thought it would have taken the jaws of life, not a pretty Blonde."

San pushes him playfully while Brittany blushes and bursts into a melody of laughter.

"It took some hard labor and grease but it finally worked." She laughs. "But it is so nice to finally meet you."

Sam then walks in with a tray of food for the boy and notices his best friend in the room.

"Oh hey Britt, hey San. Let me uncuff this one so he can eat."

Sam releases the younger boy and goes to give him the tray but waves him off, and instead raises his hand to Brittany for her to shake.

"Keep my sister safe ok?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

The moment is interrupted by another one of Finn's trolls telling Santana his boss would like to see her.

"It's ok San. I'll stay here with them. Go see what he wants."

She nods and follows the other man out and up to Finn's office.

"Hudson."

"Lopez. Good to see you. I have something I would like to talk to you about."

Santana gulps. She's nervous as fuck but doesn't show it. She squares up to him, arms folded across her chest, and her right hip cocked to the side.

"There seems to be new dope on the streets, blue, they call it. This new shit happens to be better than T and J. So I'm only gonna ask this once. Did you make it?"

Santana scoffs and looks him straight in the eye.

"I wish I made it. I heard some lady in China Town cooked it."

Rage fills Finn and he rushes towards the small girl, choke slamming her into the wall. He keeps his hand around her throat, squeezing as hard as he can.

"I will find out if you're lying, and when I do, you'll regret it. Don't think I didn't see you walk in with that blonde."

Finn finally lets her go and she reaches up to feel her throat, wincing at the now sensitive area.

"You even so much as breathe her fucking name and I will fucking kill you!" She feels her rage start to fill her body. Santana wants nothing more than to rip this fucker to shreds, but there's too many guards around her. Hudson laughs at her, right in her face. He cups her chin with his hand to make her look up at him.

"Oh sweet, sweet Santana. I'd like to see you try."

He motions for a guard to take her back to the basement, still laughing.

She walks in to see Brittany and Santos thumb wrestling and she smiles. But it falls when she remembers what Finn just said. Brittany turns around feeling eyes on her and smiles.

"He totally cheats Tana. He has to like lift weights with his thumbs or something."

"Nope I was just taught by the best." Santos smiles at his sister until he sees the newly forming bruises on her neck.

"What the fuck did he do to you?"

"It's nothing Ti, really, I'm fine."

Santos knows she's the furthest from fine but decides to drop it. Brittany on the other hand makes a mental note to get the truth out of her girlfriend. They all play a couple rounds of thumb war and Santana beats all of them, including Sam. Before leaving she kisses her brother on the top of the head and tells him she loves him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The girls decide to go back to Santana's place after their visit, and make dinner. While Santana's waiting for the water to boil, Britt notices her cut out a square of tin foil. She then hollows out a pen so it's just the outer shell with two open ends. The Latina sprinkles a bag of heroin onto the foil and grabs a lighter.

"What are you doing San?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She replies void of emotion.

Santana lights the flame on the lighter and puts it under the foil, causing the power on top to heat up and start emitting smoke. She then puts the straw in her mouth and sucks up the smoke coming off of the foil. Her eyes roll to the back of her head in instant ecstasy.

"I didn't know you smoked dope too, I thought you only snorted it?"

"Yeah, I only do it when I'm really stressed out." She subconsciously brings her hand up to her, now bruised, neck.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened San?"

"What's there to tell? He fuckin thinks I'm making that new shit, which, I don't blame him, cuz I fuckin am. So when I told him I didn't he choked me against the fuckin wall. Then, while I was choking for air, he took the liberty of threatening me. Saying if he found out different he would bring you into it. So are you happy? There, I fuckin told you!"

Brittany's shocked at the other girl's tone. She never really yelled at her like that. She chokes back her tears and, wordlessly, opens the freezer and pulls out a bag of frozen peas. Santana eyes her curiously. Normally after yelling at someone like she just did, they would be in tears or standing in a puddle of their own piss. But Brittany just took it in stride. The blonde grabs Santana by her shoulders and forces her to sit on a chair in the kitchen. She grabs the frozen peas and gently presses the bag to the bruises on San's neck.

"Yell at me, push me away, do whatever you want Tana. But I'm not going anywhere."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"There, now we just have to paint the walls and we're done. Thanks for helping me Q. I owe you big time."

"San I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

Shit. Santana thinks. Going over in her head what she must've done wrong. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Calm down bitch you didn't do anything wrong."

"Ok, what's this about then?"

"I know you asked Britt if she wanted to go to Cali, and she most likely will, She lov- she really likes you."

Santana looks at her choosing to ignore the little slip up, and urging her to go on.

"I want to come too."

"Q did you really think I was gonna leave you here? Not when I just found you again."

"Yea, but there's something else. San when we get there we're all going to have to get clean. All they have there is black tar heroin, and you can only shoot that up."

"You can smoke it too and I know how to cook powder."

Quinn gives her sister a stern look.

"Yea I heard about your little crack head moment smoking dope in your kitchen. The next step is shooting up and I refuse to let you do that."

"Q, you know I would never do that."

"I know but you said you would never smoke it either. I'm just saying, we're going to Cali to start a new life. Don't you think we should leave all this shit in Kenso where it started?"

"Maybe you're right."

"I know I'm right bitch. Now let's paint this shit before I gotta go shake my goodies for old men."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Santana pulls up to Britt's place all smiles. She's carrying another bouquet of sunflowers. She knocks on the door, even though she usually just walks in or uses the key B made for her. Today is special and she wants to treat it as so. Brittany whips open the door all smiles, and if possible it gets bigger when she sees her sexy girlfriend.

"Happy Birthday baby."

Brittany doesn't respond she just pulls Santana in by the collar of her jacket and kisses her hard on the mouth.

"I know you're having a party here later, but I was uh, I was wondering if you could come back to my place quick. I have a present there for you."

Brittany side eyes her questioningly but she trusts San so she grabs her jacket and hops into the brunette's car. San hands her a birthday blunt, because that's tradition in her world, and they smoke it down just in time to park out front of the Latina's house.

Santana leads her into the basement where Britt notices a sectioned off room that's never been there before. She furrows her brows when Santana tells her to close her eyes. San leads her into the room, stopping right smack in the middle.

"Open your eyes babe."

Brittany gasps at what she sees. Inside the room is a dance studio complete with floor to ceiling mirrors, freshly waxed wood flooring, ballet bars, and a stereo system in the corner. The parts of wall that peaks out where there aren't mirrors is painted Brittany's favorite shade of blue. She goes over to one of the ballet bars and ghosts her fingers over it with tears in her eyes. Santana sees the tears and fears the worst.

"Oh shit I'm sorry. I knew this was a bad idea. I know you haven't danced for yourself since all that shit with you parents and I just thought that maybe my lab could be your safe place too. But oh god I'm sorry. I'm pushing you to do something you don't wanna do and…"

Brittany cuts off her ramble by tackling the smaller girl to the floor and kissing her all over her face.

"These are happy tears San. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you. I-I love you."

Santana is taken aback by this. First she thought she fucked up royally and now B is telling her she loves her. Do I love her? She thinks. Of course I do. Holy shit say it back before she really cries.

"I love you too Britt. More than I've ever loved anyone. It's scary, really."

"You don't ever have to be afraid to love me because I'll never be afraid to love you back."

They kiss for a while more on the floor of the studio before Brittany gets up and starts dancing around the room. Floating from corner to corner. Jumping and twirling, tears flowing down her face. She never thought she'd be able to dance like this again.

"B you know there's a stereo. You don't have to dance in silence."

"I'm dancing to the music that plays in my head when I think about you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Chug, chug, chug, chug!"

Everyone chants while Brittany drains the remaining beer from the beer bong. She wipes her chin and walks over to Santana, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. They go to the kitchen and Britt pulls a ten bag of dope out of her pocket. She lays on the floor and lifts up her shirt. Sprinkling the contents of the bag from the bottom of her breasts to the top of her pants, she crooks her finger at Santana in a come hither motion. Santana shakes her head at how wasted her girlfriend is, but thinks it's cute regardless.

"Come on Tana it's cold down here."

Santana takes the snooter from around her neck and snorts the line, ending with her face in her girlfriend's crotch. Noticing remaining residue on the blonde's stomach, she sticks out her tongue and licks back up to her breasts, tasting the bitterness of the drugs mix with the taste of Brittany's skin. Santana crashes their lips together mixing yet another taste in her mouth.

"I fuckin love you Brittany."

"I fuckin love you too San."


	14. Chapter 14

On a side note, I noticed someone named **niggnugg8** is following the story… best damn profile name ever haha

Also a warning. Major triggers in this chapter

_You'll think of me_

_As you take your last breath _

_You'll curse your actions_

_While I introduce you to death_

_-AC_

Brittany's POV

Work has actually been ok lately. I've been making more money since I've been dancing in the studio San made me because I practice routines I can use at the club. I'm so lucky I met her. I don't know how there was a me before there was a her. She hasn't let me out of her sight ever since that Finn shit, but I told her she didn't have to wait around for me tonight. I know it bothers her to watch nasty dudes put money in my g-string, even though she understands it more than the normal person since she worked here herself. I can't wait to move to California. It's so much different than Philly, and probably cleaner. Not that I mind how Philly is. I love this place. If it wasn't for this city, I wouldn't have met all my friends, and most importantly, the woman I am currently in love with. I cut out some lines for me and Sugar as per usual, and call her over to my makeup mirror.

"Britt you are a life saver, I was starting to get sick, and no one wants a lap dance from a shivering sweaty stripper."

"You know I always got you Sugs and if I don't San does. She thinks you're fuckin' hilarious. Don't tell her I said that though, she'll deny it."

Sugar walks away laughing. It's true San does have love for people but has problems letting them in. Shit, I don't blame her. I hear my music start and know it's my cue to go on stage. I slip on my 6 inch heels and make my way out to the stage. I chose to dance to Cherry Pie tonight, because who doesn't love a sexy woman dancing to that song? I think a Grandma could dance to this and there would still be a hint of sex appeal. Maybe there's an old lady in a nursing home that's like an older me, dancing for the old dudes, so they can get their rocks off. Gross never mind, now I have a visual.

I strut on to the stage and start making that pole my bitch. Going upside down spinning around, I work the crowd. There's one man in particular that seems to have glued his eyes to my tits. Shit, I don't blame him, they are nice. I end the routine with a split as I run my hands over my bare breasts. They seem to have liked that because it's literally raining money on me. I gather my cash as usual and take it to the back to count. 3 grand, holy shit! I'm gonna buy San something really nice. Maybe a new strap on or some fuzzy cuffs with her name on them. We like the whole normal vanilla sex and all, but kinky sex is still where our hearts lay.

I see my boss Artie rolling up to me in the most ridiculous wheel chair I've ever seen. It's chrome plated with a leather seat and spinners on the wheels. I guess if you're going to be paralyzed might as well do it in style. More power to him.

"Hey girl, I got a lap dance for you in room 6."

"Thanks Artie. I like your wheel chair, it's ballin'."

I do a speedball before I go to the lap dance room. It's always easier to do while I'm high. It might be even easier if women actually paid for dances, but I can't be picky. I make my way to the room and open it to a man with a suit, who has to be a giant, because damn, he's fucking huge.

"Hi, I'm Phoenix. Is this your first time here sir?"

He turns around and I almost shit myself.

"Finn. Finn Hudson but I'm sure you already know who I am."

Before I can scream he rushes over to me and covers my mouth with a wet rag, and everything goes black.

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Santana's POV

Something feels weird inside of me but I don't know what. At first I thought I was just craving more dope, but after I did some I felt the same. Then I thought it was just anxiety so I popped some xanax and smoked a blunt. Still nothing has changed. It feels like my heart is on a different rhythm, like when a track changes on a CD. Maybe I just miss Britt. She got off an hour ago so I guess I can go pick her up now. I know, it's pitiful; I see the girl everyday but still find time to miss her. I walk into the house to find Quinn on the couch, but no Brittany.

"Hey Q, did Britt not get done work yet?"

"She was done an hour ago, I figured she took the bus to your place."

"Alright, yeah, she must be there. I'll see you later Q."

The weird feeling has intensified inside of me but I decide not to panic until I get back to my house and see if Brittany is still there. She hasn't been answering her phone so maybe she's in the studio and can't hear over the music. Yeah that has to be it.

I open my front door and I'm greeted with a deep base beat thumping at my feet. I knew she'd be dancing. I go downstairs with a smile, ready to sneak up on my girl as she's dancing and pepper her with sweet lady kisses. But all I see when I open the studio door, is an empty room with a laptop in the middle of the floor. I turn off the music and then move towards the lap top and notice a note on top of it. When I realize what the note says my heart shatters.

_I told you not to lie to me_

With tears already in my eyes I crumple the note and toss it aside. I turn on the screen and a video is already open on the desktop. I muffle a scream as I press play. There, in a cement room, is my Brittany. She's naked and screaming, cowering in the corner of the room. Three men then come into focus. I recognize them as Finn's guards and want to throw up as they start rubbing themselves and unbuckling their pants.

"Oh my god, please no, tell me I'm dreaming."

I whisper to myself with my hand covering my mouth in horror. I want to look away, but I can't. A part of me doesn't want to suffer through this, but another part wants to make sure they don't kill my baby girl. The biggest man comes over to Brittany and tries to kiss her, but she spits in his face. He, then, punches her in the mouth and her blood starts to flow immediately. The other two men hold her down while the big man situates himself between Brittany's legs. He thrusts into her and the most bone chilling scream rips through her throat.

_"Please don't please, I'll do anything just not that! It hurts stop! Pleaseee!"_

_"Shut up bitch, no one likes a noisy whore."_

One of the men takes off his sock and shoves it in her mouth. They pick Brittany up so she's now upright on her knees. The man from before enters her in her front, while a bald man spreads her cheeks and sodomizes her. I feel so helpless. This is all my fucking fault. I should have just been Finn's bitch for the rest of my life. I watch as the tears and blood mix upon my beautiful girls face. The men pull out at the same time. One of them punches her in the face again before ejaculating all over her body. The bald man cums on her face before spitting on her. The other two men now switch and hold her down for the third man to have a go. It's over within minutes but the effects on Brittany will last a lifetime. As soon as the men release her, Brittany curls into the fetal position on the floor. The bald man proceeds to whip his dick out again and pisses all over her body. They drag her lifeless body to the corner of the room where there are chains bolted to the wall. The cuff her hands and I think they're about to leave but the big man turns to the camera with a sinister smile before picking it up just in time to show the bald man toss a bucket of water onto the already shivering woman in the corner.

_"Wash up bitch, no one likes a smelly whore."_

The screen then goes black and it's over. The shock dissipates and the rage starts to course through my body. I slam the computer closed and pound it with my fists until they're bloody and bruised. I start screaming and crying and pulling at my hair, rocking back and forth. I don't even realize Puck has entered the room until he wraps his arms around me.

"Shhh Tana. What's going on? What's wrong?"

It takes me a few minutes to compose myself enough to talk.

"T-they took B-brittany. Finn fucking took her Puck!"

"What do you mean he took her?"

"I came home and found this note and t-the laptop and, oh god Puck. There was a video and, oh my god, they raped her. They fucking raped my Britt!"

I feel Puck stiffen as my words sink in. I know he cares about Britt too. I feel his tears drip onto my bare shoulder before he speaks.

"We're gonna fix this Tana. He better start digging his fucking grave now."

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Brittany's POV

I want my San. It's cold and scary and on top of that I'm naked and dope sick. Fuck. I haven't been dope sick in a while and this is just reminding me why I never got clean. I wish I had my unicorn. The fire ants are coursing through my veins and my stomach is twisting in knots. I have to go to the bathroom in a bucket, which I have to keep close to me seeing as I'm chained to the fucking wall. Maybe if I pull hard enough on the cuffs it will slit my wrists and I'll finally fucking die. No, I can't do that to San. She's coming for me I know it. I can feel it in my heart. We're connected somehow and it's weird for me. I haven't depended on another person for a while now, but she is the one person I place all my trust in. She can hold my heart because her hands aren't shakey, I know she won't drop it, no matter what. Suddenly I hear someone saying "Hey". Where the fuck could that be coming from? Wait there it goes again. Is that…Santos? I'm in Finn's house?

"Santos? Is that you?"

"Yeah, who's over there? How do you know my name?"

"It's Brittany."

I wait for him to answer and when he does he's furious.

"I can't wait for Tana to come here and merk the shit out of that motherfucker! I heard them last night Brittany. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you. I'm so fuckin sorry. She's coming though Brittany, she is, try to hang on ok?"

"Don't be sorry there's nothing you could have done."

"I just can't believe that sick fuck!"

"I know Santos, I know."

"You can call me Santi, or Ti, ya know. You're family now."

"Thanks Ti. We're gonna get through this. We're going to make it to California."

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Santana's POV

I didn't sleep for three days until I finally passed out from exhaustion. I've been doing massive amounts of coke to stay awake, I guess I finally crashed. But even when I was asleep the images of Brittany in that room flashed through my mind. We have a plan. A good fucking plan, and I'm getting both of them out of there if it fucking kills me. I never thought it was a good thing that Puck and Sam worked for Hudson, until now. They have an inside scoop on shift changes and when there are only three guards apposed to 6. We've been planning for days, waiting for the right moment to pounce. He's hurt two people that I love and no one has lived to tell that tale yet. I thought I hated Ricky. I thought I hated Clara. But I have never despised anyone like I despise Finn fucking Hudson. I hate him more than my bitch of a mother. I need to calm down. I empty three bags on my kitchen table and go at it. I don't even bother cutting the pile into lines, I just place my straw and inhale. I've been doing this for about three hours, dipping in and out of consciousness. I'm pretty sure I puked but I don't know where it landed. All of a sudden I hear Puck yell followed by a thud right next to me.

"Ughh gross San. I slipped on your barf!"

Oops. I guess that's where I threw up. I feel myself being picked up and jostled a bit. I feel like I'm gonna vomit again until I'm placed down and a sudden rush of cold water hits me, jolting me awake.

"Fuck I was fine you didn't have to do all that!"

"Yeah sure. That's why there was puke everywhere and you were face down in a pile of dope."

Ok maybe he's right.

"Alright maybe you're right." I mumble.

Puck cleans me up and takes off my dirty clothes. I know what you're thinking. You're naked San, that's creepy. But no it's not. I'm pretty sure Puck has seen me naked more times than Brittany. This isn't the first time he gave me the cold shower treatment and it probably won't be the last. Especially if our plan doesn't work. Britt. My sweet Britt. I wish I could at least give her, her unicorn.

"Can you walk Tana?"

"Yea I got this."

I so didn't have it. I slipped on the wet floor as soon as I stood. Good thing he caught me. I woulda fucked my face the fuck up! Somehow I make it into my bed with a t shirt and shorts on and greet the darkness with a warm welcome.

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Brittany's POV

Usually by the fourth day of withdrawal I start to feel better, but this fuckin sucks. I guess from doing it for so long, my body is extra mad at me for not having its missing ingredient. As I'm lost in my thoughts I barely register Finn coming into the room with his assholes behind him.

"Aww are you dope sick? Well I got a little something here for you. I'll put it in the corner and if you can reach it you can have it."

The fucker throws a bag in the corner of the room, way out of reach with me chained to the god damn wall. He laughs and turns around.

"Where's your bitch of a girlfriend now? It's been almost a week and not a peep. Go get her boys."

All three men turn to me with a hungry look in there eyes. I want to stay quiet so Santi doesn't hear. I piss them off on purpose this time, hoping they hit me so hard they knock me out. And after one quick blow to the balls from yours truly, Baldie does just that, turning my world dark.

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"Holy shit!" Puck yells "Butch we got robbed, bring the guys up here!"

Upon hearing the word robbed, all three men leave their posts to check it out. All while Sam sneaks down into the basement. He unlocks Brittany's room first assuming she's naked still, from what Santana told him about the video, and she will need to get dressed. He sees just that. A frail, shivering, naked, Brittany. She looks up and thanks whoever's up there that they came for her.

"We're getting the fuck out of here Britt. Let me just un cuff you. San gave me some clothes of her's that you can change into. You get dressed I'm gonna go get Santos."

Brittany just nods her head and tries to stand on her weak bruised legs. She gets dressed quickly and is immediately engulfed in the small that is Santana. Her hear flutters, but she doesn't have time to revel in the peace. Sam grabs her hand and starts running through the basement with her and Santos in tow. She can barely walk let alone run, so Sam picks her up bridal style and runs with her in his arms. They burst through the front door and into the night. About a block away Sam stops and opens the back of a white van. Placing Brittany carefully onto the floor of the van and then helping Santos up. He then quickly closes the back of the van and the two are enveloped with darkness. Santos and Brittany gravitate toward each other. Santos places Brittany's head on his shoulder and wraps his arms around her. She's family and Santana always told him you protect your family no matter what. They both jump when Quinn speaks.

"Brittany I have your unicorn, San told me to bring it, and I have some dope for you to do. I know you must be sick. I'm so sorry this happened to you guys. But if all goes well, there will be no more worrying."

Brittany takes the unicorn and the dope thankfully. She uses the straw Q gave her and puts it inside the bag, snorting its contents in one shot.

When Sam got back to the house not two minutes later he set up a tray of food like normal, as if he were going to feed Santos. They never let him see Britt. Finn knew he was friends with her, and didn't want to take the chance. What the stupid ass oaf didn't know what that the sets of keys for the rooms and the cuffs were the same.

He drops the tray in mock surprise to make it seem more believable and runs upstairs to where Puck is explaining to them how ten thousand dollars is missing. Dumbasses.

"Guys! Santos isn't in the basement come help me check the rooms!"

They all rush down because really they hope Brittany isn't gone either. They like their little play thing. Sam lets the three men walk into the room first and as soon as they're all in he slams the door and locks it, effectively trapping the goons inside.

"What the fuck are you doing Sam! Open this fuckin door now!"

Sam chuckles menacingly while jingling the keys in his hand before dropping them outside of the door.

"You can get out if you can reach the keys mother fuckers!"

Having the goons locked up, Sam races upstairs to meet up with Puck for the final part of their plan. They decided to attack right as Finn got in the shower so he would be too busy butchering Journey songs to hear anything going on.

Puck and Sam rendezvous in Finn's bedroom and have a silent conversation through their eyes. Puck nods and walks into the bathroom. He whips the curtain back while Sam wraps his arm around Finn from behind and holds a knife to his throat. They both drag him to the bed while Finn squirms like a little bitch.

"Let me the fuck go you ass holes! You're signing your death certificate!"

Puck and Sam just laugh and continue to cuff Finn to his, conveniently, iron head board. And, conveniently, they use Finn's very own handcuffs that he just loved to use on other people.

Just as they cuff his feet to the foot board, there is movement in the room.

Santana walks in with a 9mm in her hands, screwing a silencer to the tip. She smiles a sickly sweet smile, and her eyes are black and devoid of all color.

"Hi Finn. Nice weather we're having today huh?"


	15. Chapter 15

Extreme violence here. You have been warned. Enjoy

_As you are begging to be set free_

_You will wish you never crossed me_

_For a woman scorned_

_Is a rage you will never know_

_You will be wishing instead_

_ That you pissed off the devil below_

_-AC_

"Fuck what's taking them so long?"

Quinn's freaking out, and if Brittany wasn't so high she'd be freaking out too. But she just knows it's going to be ok.

"Is Tana in there Q?" Santos is worried about his sister. He knows she's killed before, but it doesn't make it any easier knowing she's possibly risking her life for him again. This will be the third time she killed for him. He wishes he could help her one day instead of the other way around. Santos squeezes Brittany tighter knowing she's thinking the same things but is too high right now to register the emotions.

"Yea Ti, she is. But don't worry Sam and Puck are with her." Quinn says from the driver's seat. She's trying to hold it together for all of them, but as time goes by it gets increasingly difficult.

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BANG!

"Oops. Thank god I bought this silencer. It's cool isn't it Finn?"

Finn's left kneecap is bleeding all over the bed and he's screaming as Santana just smiles at him.

"You fuckin bitch, you're gonna pay for this! Wait til my guards get here! You're gonna die bitch!"

She just laughs and shoots him in the other knee.

"Oh Finn, you mean the ones locked in the basement? Silly me I forgot to mention that. Did you also know the Phils won last night? I hope you watched it. It might be the last one you ever see. Wasn't it a good game Puck?"

"Hell yeah Howard's a beast."

Finn keeps screaming and it's really starting to annoy Santana.

"Hey Sam can Finn here borrow one of your socks? See I learned this trick on that video you left for me. Apparently a sock is a good silencer too. Huh Finn?"

Sam then shoves the sock in his mouth muffling Finn's cries.

"You're cute when you squirm Finny. I think I missed though when I shot your knees. I think I meant to aim right in the middle. What do you think guys?"

Sam speaks first.

"Definitely in the middle. I mean he's naked and I still can't see much dick there anyway so it's like shooting a Ken doll."

Santana tilts her head to the side, sizing Finn up.

"I think you're right Sam. It's almost like he has a vagina with no opening."

She chuckles dryly before raising her gun again. While looking Finn straight in the eye, she squeezes the trigger and the bullet rips through his center and blood pours everywhere.

"Finn you're making a mess of your nice sheets. How rude? Someone worked really hard to make those."

Finn manages to spit the sock out of his mouth while he was writhing in pain.

"I'm s-sorry ok? Just please don't kill me!"

They all laugh this time and Puck and Sam take the liberty of punching him in the face a couple times.

"Did you hear that guys? He's sorry."

She then aims the gun again and shoots him in the left foot. She hands the gun off to Puck where he tucks it in the back of his pants. Santana then whips out a switch blade and presses on it to release the blade.

"See I'm pretty good with knives Finn. I don't know if you heard, but I stabbed a grown man to death when I was twelve. Haha and he wasn't even tied down."

Santana proceeds to climb on the bed and straddle Finn. She sees him getting faint so she places smelling salts under his nose.

"All awake now? I don't want you falling asleep during our little party, that's just bad manners. These are smelling salts by the way. Learned that trick from Q. Neat aren't they?"

When he doesn't answer she pounds him in the face with her fists.

"It's rude to not speak when spoken to. Where did you forget your manners? Oh that's right, when you were kidnapping a 16 year old and supervising the gang rape of my girlfriend!"

She drags the knife slowly across Finn's chest watching him anticipate the moment when she'll press down.

"P-please don't kill me."

"Oh I'm not gonna kill you. Yet. It just gets me all hot and bothered watching you beg. I should've made my own video, but you know, evidence and all."

She speaks while still gliding the knife in a figure eight pattern across his chest.

"Puck should I do regular print or cursive? I can't decide."

"Definitely cursive it's more artsy ya know?"

"Seems like we have come to a conclusion for the arts and crafts segment of tonight."

She starts carving painfully slow, letter after letter. Finn starts screaming loudly again so Sam stuffs the sock back in his mouth while him and Puck hold Finn down.

The large man tries to speak but it's muffled by the sock. Santana pops her head up and cocks it to the side.

"What's that Finn? Cat got your tongue? Speak up! I can't hear you!"

She hysterically laughs at the man struggling while she continues to carve letters in his chest.

"This must be painful, I haven't sharpened it in a while, my fault."

She finally finishes, sitting up, and admires her work. She then climbs off of Finn and stands beside him, wiping her knife clean on his thigh before returning it to her pocket.

"Hmm? Dickless Pig. I love your new chest tat Finn. Remember to give the artist credit."

She turns around and grabs two canisters of lighter fluid from the corner of the room. She hands one to Sam.

"Take care of the basement for me will ya? Gotta make sure they're not cold down there ya know? See Finn I have compassion. They're gonna heat right up."

She pops the nozzle to the lighter fluid up and begins to dowse Finn's bloody body. He's screaming and writhing harder than before. He senses that this is about to be his end and he's trying everything to get out of it. Puck and Santana just chuckle at him while trading the bottle so they can each take a turn.

"I think you missed a spot Tana. Right…there on his face."

"Good eye Puck. How careless of me? Right Finn?"

She squirts him right in the eye before continuing down his body. He's screaming through the sock so it's muffled but still kind of loud, considering the circumstances.

"Shhh Finn, I'm trying to concentrate."

She finishes and motions Puck to walk out with her. Before she leaves she takes one last look at Finn and pulls out a zippo. She lights a cigarette and smiles her most sinister smile in her arsenal.

"I told you I'd fuckin kill you and I'm a woman of my word."

With that she flicks the lit zippo across the room and onto the bed where it immediately erupts in flames. She runs down the steps with Puck in tow while squirting the last of the lighter fluid as she goes. They meet up with Sam and run out the back door and towards the waiting van.

Santana and Puck hop in the back, while Sam gets in the passenger seat. Quinn drives away immediately, but making sure not to go too fast and get pulled over.

Santana sees her brother holding her girlfriend and couldn't be more proud. And no, she feels no remorse for what just transpired in that house, or the four more bodies added to her count. Santana crosses the van and wedges herself between her brother and girlfriend. They both lean their heads on her should and squeeze her tight. Santana squeezes back, so happy to be Finn free.

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_"An apparent arson has transpired on Washington Street in Chestnut Hill. First responders arrived at the scene at about mid night but the house was already too far gone. Four bodies have been found in the wreckage, but are unfortunately burnt beyond recognition. Officials say dental records will not be helpful in this case. That the high temperatures of the fire have ruled out any hope in identifying the deceased. In other news…"_

The TV plays in the background while all of them take off their clothes and throw them in the fire place at Santana's home. There's a knock on the door and everyone freezes except Santana. She walks over in her bra and panties and opens the door. Ty walks in and smiles when he sees Brittany.

"All done mamacita?"

"Of course Ty. Would you expect any less from me? Here's the keys to the van. You're gonna want to get that to the chop shop immediately. I kinda made a mess."

"Haha you are too much Lopez. I'm glad yall are safe though."

"Thanks again Ty. Anything you need you come to me ok? Anything."

She turns around to see a collection of dropped jaws staring back at her.

"What do I have blood on my face or something?" She looks down checking her body. Puck speaks first.

"I have never had more respect for you than right now. That was so badass. I didn't even know where you got that van."

Brittany whispers. "So hot."

"Plus you just answered the door in your underwear like it was a daily occurrence. It seems like nothing that just happened is fazing you, and I don't know if that's good or bad yet." Quinn states.

"You didn't see her inside. I think that was the most psychotic, yet awe inspiring thing I've ever seen." Sam muses.

Santos finally ends this little conversation.

"Alright guys shut the fuck up. She don't need to hear that shit right now just let her chill. Tana is my room still upstairs?"

She finally finds her voice and coughs awkwardly. Silently boasting at how much her and her brother are alike.

"Of course baby bro. I even dusted and vacuumed for ya. You might wanna take a shower first. And there's something on your bed for you."

Santana hugs her brother and watches him climb the stairs in awe. She can't believe he's back home. It's amazing. She then remembers the other reason why she just did what she did. Brittany catches Santana's eye and smiles. She runs over and into the latina's arms. Santana peaks behind her shoulder to address Quinn, Puck, and Sam.

"There's a third shower in the hall upstairs, you guys argue amongst yourselves who's going first. Me and B will take the one in my room."

Brittany wraps her legs around her girlfriend and lets her carry her up the steps and into the shower. This time they both lovingly undress each other. Though, there's not much to take off seeing as they burned their clothes as soon as entering the house. Santana revels in every inch of her girlfriend, glad to have her home safe. Brittany stares at Santana in awe, scrubbing the remaining stains of blood from her skin. She can't believe someone loves her enough to go through what her girlfriend just did. They kiss slowly while under the hot water, cleaning one another. Brittany suddenly pulls back with an air of embarrassment, looking at the floor of the shower. There's blood running down her thighs and pooling at their feet. Santana follows her line of sight and notices what Brittany's looking at. She pulls her girlfriend close, trying to tell her it's ok and there is no need to be embarrassed.

"I-I don't think I can have sex tonight. I just need to wait a little bit ok San?"

"Shh. That is the last thing on my mind baby and you don't have to explain anything to me. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Take all the time you need. Ok?"

Brittany stiffly nods. Silently thankful for a girlfriend who understands how she feels in this situation.

They finish in the shower and get dressed in baggie shirts and boxers. Santana grabs a bundle out of her drawer and immediately starts ripping bags open, pour out seven for her and seven for Brittany. They start doing lines and are each on their third bag when there's a knock on the door. Santana tells whoever it is to come in and in walks Santos in his brand new Phillies jersey, all smiles. Santana thinks it's gonna take a while to get used to actually having her brother back after over a year.

"You still like Ryan Howard right?" She asks her brother.

"Of course Tana he's the shit! Thank you so much!"

"Anything for you Ti. And Brittany told me how you talked to her through the wall. I'm so proud of you. But if you don't mind me asking, what brings you in here?"

"I um. I'm starting to get sick and was wondering if I could get a bag just for tonight so I can sleep well in my own bed. Tomorrow I'm kickin' though I promise. I owe it to you." He bows his head.

"Alright I hate to say this, but I agree. But only this one time Ti, I mean it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you ended up like me. I got you a new glove too, for a reason. When you go back to school you can get yo baseball on."

They both laugh and Santana hugs her brother before kissing him on top of his head and bidding him goodnight. She then turns to her girlfriend who's smile is firmly planted on her face.

"You're so cute when you're with him. It makes me love you even more if that's possible. And when Q gave me the unicorn in the van and said you brought it for me, I think I melted haha."

Santana responds with a kiss while tears leak out of her eyes, as her emotions she cut off from earlier start to come to surface. Brittany feels the wetness and takes Santana's face in her hands and wipes the tears away with her thumbs while looking directly in her girls eyes. There's so much behind those brown eyes that she can't decipher, but love rings out loud and clear.

"I know what you did today was hard and I know you try to keep this front up for other people Tana, but you don't ever have to hide from me."

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In the living room Sam, Puck and, Quinn talk while snorting lines to calm themselves down.

"I've never seen someone have absolutely no emotions like that, especially when she was carving a knife into his chest. It was like something took over her. I tried to keep my cool in the room, but after she sent me to the basement with the lighter fluid, I threw up everywhere." Sam's baffled by the nights events.

"Yea, even I've never seen her eyes that black. I mean I was completely ok with what she was doing because he deserved it, but it was like something else took over her body completely."

Puck thinks back to the menacing look in his best friend's eyes and it chills him to the bone. Quinn just sits silently. She's seen this side of her sister, maybe not to this extent, but she knows it exists. Quinn just hopes she's ok and she doesn't get stuck in the dark again.

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Santana lay awake as Brittany sleeps peacefully beside her. She hasn't blinked for at least ten minutes. She feels everything and nothing at the same time, her brain and heart having a civil war inside her mind. She slowly detangles herself from Brittany and goes into the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she notices how empty she looks. Everything is fine now she should be glowing. But murder always comes at a price and she seems to always be the one footing the bill. The brunette opens her medicine cabinet and feels around for what she's looking for. Finally discovering what she was searching for, she sits on the toilet and pulls the leg of her boxers up. Slicing into her skin with the razor, her mind flashes back to carving into Finn's skin. Then, as she sees the blood, images of the stained sheets cloud her mind. She starts slicing faster cut after cut, until her mind finally clears. The crying girl puts down the razor and drapes an old towel over her heavily bleeding leg. She leans back on the toilet and exhales and deep breath. _Maybe they're right. Maybe I am a fucking psycho. _She thinks. Once the bleeding has stopped Santana lays back on her bed where Brittany instantly wraps her arms around her. The whole night she stares at the ceiling thinking of nothing and everything at the same time.

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A/N This is far from over everyone so don't think they are in the clear just yet. Thanks for reading


	16. Chapter 16

_Hey there stranger_

_Introduce me to danger_

_Can you come pull my hair?_

_Beat me until I bleed_

_Make the outside mirror my insides_

_Please it's the only thing I need_

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Sniff.

Brittany wakes up looking around for the source of that fucking tapping. Within moments she sees Santana sitting on the edge of the bed with her back towards her, leaning over the end table.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Sniiiifffff.

Brittany reaches out her hand to touch San's bicep while calling out to her "San?"

The brunette whips her head back and forces a smile at her girlfriend. "Morning." She whispers.

Brittany flicks her eyes to the alarm clock squeezed between liquor bottles, ash trays, and empty baggies. She sees it's barely 9AM. Since when do any of us wake up before at least fuckin noon? She thinks to herself. Brittany also ponders the dark circles under her girlfriend's eyes. Has she been up all night?

"Babe have you slept at all?" Britt sits up in concern.

Santana clears her throat and forces a smile worthy of an award while turning back into Brittany's view.

"I slept." She hasn't slept. At all.

Brittany knows she's lying but decides not to press it. That's when she notices one huge sandwich bag of coke and another with heroin. She cocks her head to the side and sees lines of both on the table behind Santana.

"Speedballs?"

Santana's starting to get pissed off. She doesn't want to be questioned on anything. It's not like Brittany woke up to her doing something she never did like shoot up. She needs to hit something.

"I'm gonna go work out." She concedes and turns away from Brittany, does another line, and walks out of the bedroom without looking back. Brittany doesn't know whether to be pissed or worried.

Santana walks into the bedroom turned personal gym, and closes the door gently behind her. She walks over to the closet across the room and pulls out some work out shorts and a sports bra.

The tight stretchy shorts grip and rub the fresh cuts on her left thigh but she likes to feel the sting. She foregoes wrapping her hands before attacking the punching bag in the room. The girl stops momentarily to pull her hair back with the hair tie around her wrist.

Hair now, sufficiently out of the way, she really goes at it. The small woman throws upper cuts, jabs, and hooks over and over again with the ferocity of an animal. The cuts on her knuckles from punching Finn start to split open but she welcomes it as a plus. Blood starts to leak from her fists and imprint on the punching bag but she's far from done.

Sweat beads from her forehead as she grunts and growls while hitting the bag harder and harder. She can barely breathe and everything hurts but that was her goal. She wants to feel pain.

Brittany slowly opens the door to the work out room and leans against the door frame. She watches her girlfriend destroying the punching bag with her back towards her. Brittany is definitely worried and even more so, when she sees blood slowly dripping down her left leg as San pivots to punch differently.

"San." The girl keeps punching. "San…Santana!" The Latina grabs the punching bag to still it and looks back at Brittany expectantly as to say; _Why the fuck did you yell at me?_

"Why's your leg bleeding San?" she says while pointing to said leg.

Santana doesn't answer she just looks down at her leg. Bringing her left hand up she extends her pointer finger and glides it along the trail of blood up to where it originated. She then swipes the blood off of her finger and onto her shorts, without a word. She notices her cuts peeking out of her shorts and dares to look at Brittany.

The blonde has a knowing look on her face mixed with sympathy. Santana doesn't like sympathy. She feels like she doesn't deserve it. She wants pain.

Without a word she turns and starts punching again and then stops but still doesn't turn back. "Don't. Just don't give me that look or say anything. I know ok? I know." She states through gritted teeth before returning to the bag.

Brittany just turns around and leaves, she knows San's not going to talk about anything like this.

Santana meanwhile keeps punching. She can predict everything that would have come out of her girlfriend's mouth and she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want pity or even admiration at this point. Frankly she wishes someone would just beat the shit out of her. She craves to be punished. She needs to feel that pain.

Sometimes it feels so good to be so low. To reside peacefully in the filth. She needs someone to treat her like shit and fuck her like it means nothing. It always comes back to this. Santana needing some sort of masochistic punishment to release everything she's feeling, to mix plain and pleasure with humiliation.

Usually she'd just find a random chick, or even a guy who's willing to pay to beat the shit out of her and spit on her existence. But she's dating Brittany.

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Santos is in the room next to the one Santana's currently in destroying a punching bag. He has seen this side of his sister after the incident with Ricky. Even being only 4 he can still remember the darkness rolling off of his sister. The bruises and cuts she would come home with were horrifying to the young boy. He doesn't know why she needs to feel pain to release her emotions but he knows it started with Ricky beating her.

After a while of dealing with pain she started to welcome it as a way to deal with all the shit in her life. And this became her only way to deal.

Santos doesn't want to see her back in that dark place. She seems all together but he knows his sister is one false move from slipping through the cracks.

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Santana bursts into her bedroom to find Brittany sitting on the bed, right where she hoped she'd be. Santana grips Brittany by the collar of her shirt and pulls her to her feet. She then grips the blondes face in her hands and smashes their lips together desperately. The two kiss for a few minutes before Santana pulls away and speaks while holding Brittany at arms length by her shoulders.

"I really like making love or whatever," She flicks her hand in the air dismissively. "But right now," She looks Britt dead in her eyes. "I want you to put on that strap on, and fuck me, deep and hard."

She releases the blonde and walks over to her drawer and pulls out the strap on. Turning back to Brittany with an air of desperation, she pleads her case.

"Take all your anger out on me from the past week, or past forever. Whatever you need to tap into to be able to hurt me, do it." She grabs her girlfriend's hand and looks into her eyes. "I need you to do this for me."

Brittany understands this feeling very well. She likes pain too, but not to the extent Santana does. Santana actually needs it and she needs to do this for her. She figures since she's still sensitive and can't get the same treatment as San, she might as well give it and release it that way.

Brittany takes the strap on from San asking only, "Safe word?"

Santana looks up and smirks mischievously at the blonde.

"Blue."

Without a word Brittany grips the Latina's bicep hard and forcefully pushes her to the floor onto her hands and knees. She stands up and takes off her shirt and shorts leaving only her bra and panties. Britt then fastens the strap on around her waist.

She walks back over to Santana and slaps her ass hard causing the Latina to grit her teeth and become wet in the same motion.

"Where's your hair brush bitch?" Brittany yells menacingly. Santana only got a preview of this the first time they fucked but this is ten times more and she loves it.

Without looking up Santana speaks. "It's in the bathroom."

"Good now get undressed and bend over the side of the bed by the time I get back." She sneers while walking away.

Santana quickly takes everything off and assumes the position.

Brittany comes back and stands behind the other girl while the rubber dick brushes her ass. She crouches over Santana and grabs her ponytail releasing a grunt from the girl.

The blonde takes the wooden hair brush and spanks her own ass with the implement to test it out. Santana hears this and snickers. Only Brittany would smack her ass first to see how it feels.

The blonde on the other hand doesn't think it's too funny and brings the back of the brush down hard on Santana's bare ass.

"Ughhh" Santana grunts.

"Not so funny now, is it?"

Brittany keeps bringing the brush down on the other girl over and over again until her arm becomes tired and San's ass is cherry red. She throws the brush down and grabs Santana's hair again and smooshes her face into the mattress. With the other hand she harshly enters the brunette from behind with three fingers.

Santana spasms and grunts at the sudden penetration.

"Ugh. Hit me you fuckin' bitch." She sneers at Britt.

Brittany slaps her hard across the face several times before pulling her by her hair onto the floor.

"Fuck you, you stupid bitch!" She kicks Santana in the ribs. "Talk back to me and see what fuckin' happens!"

Santana smirks triumphantly. She wants to really piss her off.

"Oh please, you can't hurt me, you fuckin pussy!"

Brittany grabs her by the hair and punches her in the face. Santana smiles back at her while licking the blood coming from her lip.

"Let me treat you like the useless bitch you are."

Ahh, humiliation, San loves it. Keep it coming.

She puts Santana's body into position on all fours and situates herself behind the woman. Brittany reaches forward and slams San's head into the ground.

It hurts but San loves it. Brittany then forcefully shoves the fake dick into her from behind while still holding her face onto the floor. She lets go and slaps the brunette in the face hard while slamming into her. Brittany grabs both of her girlfriend's hips to plunge deeper inside of her.

Santana has tears running down her cheeks, slowly and silently releasing everything she's been holding in.

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Santos is in the backyard having a catch with Quinn when he hears it.

"Hit me you fuckin bitch!"

He looks over to Quinn knowingly. After hearing grunts come from the window out of his sister's mouth he notices Britt's voice.

"Fuck you, you stupid bitch!"

He winces at the angry words spewing from the both. Santos actually had to give it to Brittany he didn't think she had it in her. He tosses the baseball back to Quinn. He's glad Brittany does have it in her though because it's better San gets this from her rather than some skanky chick or even skankier guy.

"Oh please, you can't hurt me you fuckin pussy!"

CRACK!

He knows Santana just got punched in the face. He also knows they don't really hate each other; it's just what they have to do.

Quinn finally speaks up. "Ti I don't want her going back to that place in her head." She throws the ball back.

Santos catches the ball and takes his glove off before sitting on the grass in the tiny backyard.

He looks down and picks a few blades of grass out of the ground before commenting.

"I know Q, but this is what she knows, and who am I to take her away from that?"

Quinn doesn't answer. She knows her little brother is right. She just wants to help San in a way that doesn't involve punching her in the face. She hears the sound of glass breaking and looks up to the window.

"Shut the fuck up!" Comes billowing from Brittany's mouth.

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Santana has a bruise on her jaw and a bloody lip but she wants more. While Brittany's fucking her hard against the wall she tightens her legs around the blonde and pushes her deeper inside her pussy while reaching up and yanking Britt's hair.

"I thought you were gonna hurt me? Or are you just a pussy ass white bitch!" She sneers.

Brittany growls and spins Santana around while still holding her, and slams her into a framed painting on the wall. The glass shatters against San's back and she lets out a growl.

"Shut the fuck up!" Brittany yells and starts fucking her again but chokes the Latina this time.

She sees Santana's eyes roll to the back of her head in a mixture of pain and pleasure and knows she's close. Brittany carries her back to the bed and tosses the smaller girl onto it like a piece of trash. She brings the latina's ankles around her neck and continues pounding her pussy.

"Not so tough now, are you bitch?" She yells while slapping the brunette over and over again and pumping into her.

"Ughh fuck!" She growls and bucks her hips harder into the blonde. She feels herself getting close.

"Cum bitch. Cum now!"

Santana starts spasming and gritting her teeth.

"Ughh Fuck, I'm comin'."

Brittany reaches forward and tugs her hair one last time while San comes undone.

The blonde pulls out and without even letting San recover from her orgasm, she drags her onto the floor by her hair. She kicks her in the ribs and walks away while uttering. "Take a fuckin shower."

Santana meanwhile recovers from her aftershocks with a smile and tears. She feels so much better even though every part of her hurts. She's proud of Brittany. Not one of her past girlfriends would have done that for her. She's glad Brittany truly understands. She's happy Brittany knows all of her darkest thoughts and still welcomes her with open arms.

Santana finally gets up and half limps to the shower finally feeling like the weight has lifted.

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Santos is shivering on the couch as he hears the shower turn on. He thinks back to her picking fights and letting the other person get hits in on purpose. He has his sister's face memorized when she would come back from the corner with Quinn. She would have a black eye and an empty smile. Kind of like the one she's sporting now as she limps into the living room holding her side.

"F-feel better?" He whispers out shivering and in pain.

Santana snaps her attention to him just now realizing he was there.

She puts her head down embarrassed that her brother had to hear that. She's really not used to him being here again yet.

"Yea. I do. Sorry about that."

He waves it off and that's when San notices the sweat glistening on his head and the paleness of his skin. She rushes over to him and scoops the boy into a hug while sitting on the couch.

"Dope sick huh? I know it sucks," she squeezes "but by the third day it gets better, I promise."

Santos breaks down into his sister's arms crying. She rocks him back and forth trying to calm him a little. She knows this feeling and it's the worst pain and discomfort she has ever been through.

"Shhh calmarse hermano." She whispers brushing her fingers through his hair.

He grips her shirt tight. "It hurts Santanita, le duele."

"I know it hurts baby boy, I know. Let's get you into the shower. That always helps me when I'm dope sick." She stands up and drapes his arm around her shoulder. "Just sit on the bottom of the shower and let the water calm your muscles."

She gets him up the steps and into the bathroom where he sits on the toilet seat while she turns the shower on.

"You know where B is by any chance?"

Santos smiles knowing she's ready to show love now after getting her ass beat.

"Yeah, she's dancing with Q. Go. I know how to shower Tana." He shoos her.

"Fine but come get me if you need anything, even if it's just a hug."

She ruffles his hair and shuts the bathroom door behind her. She knows tomorrow he's going to be begging her for a fix and she's not looking forward to caging that beast.

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"Don't even think about going down there yet."

Santana freezes with her hand on the basement door when she hears Quinn's voice. Oh fuck. She thinks.

Santana turns back to her sister with her arms crossed against her chest. "And why's that Q? This is my fuckin house."

"Don't play dumb with me Tana." She steps closer. "I heard too. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought there was a domestic disturbance."

She gets closer and closer to Santana with each word.

"I can't believe you had her do that." She shakes her head. "And the sickest fuckin part is that it helped her too cuz she's just as fucked in the head as you are."

Santana is seething and flexing her fists at her side.

"Fuck you Quinn. You don't know shi-."

Quinn gets right up in Santana's face

"I know that you shouldn't need to be punched in the face to feel something! You shouldn't have to hurt to release emotions you can't name!" She steps back shaking her head.

"Like…God Tana I basically listened to you telling your girlfriend to beat the shit out of you while she fucked you!" She starts pacing the floor while Santana stands silently boiling over with anger.

"And she did it. Brittany fuckin did it!" she throws her hands up. "What about what just happened is ok?"

Santana backs Quinn up against a wall. She pulls her arm back and with all her might she punches through the drywall right next to Quinn's head. Quinn gasps and slaps Santana hard across the face.

"This isn't the first time we've been in this same position Santana!" Q looks to her right towards the newly formed hole in the wall. "This isn't the first time I've had a fuckin hole in the wall right next to my head! And certainly not the first time I slapped the shit out of you."

She pushes Santana away from her.

"And it's not gonna be the last. But I love you Tana. You're my only family," she wipes away a tear. "and that's never gonna change, but it's a shame you don't love you, as much as me and Ti do."

Quinn sees Santana's lip quiver a bit and pulls the brunette into her arms. Santana breaks instantly.

"I-I just... I only know pain Q." She sobs. "I don't know any other way!"

Quinn's now sitting on the floor with the Latina in her lap, rocking her back a forth. "This is one way Tana."

San looks down at her hands shaking her head "Am I …am I a monster Q? I have 6 people's blood on my hands."

Quinn grabs San's face in between both of her palms and looks her straight in the eye. "No, don't go to that place, you are not a monster." She says sternly. "Yes those 6 people are gone but they also hurt the only people you love. They're gone for good reason. Any one of those people would have killed you or anyone else without a second thought Tana."

"Ok…Alright." She sniffles and stands on her own again. "I'm gonna go find B." She turns around and swiftly opens the door to the basement. Before leaving she turns around and whispers, "Thanks Q." and barrels down the steps.

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Santana stands in the doorway of the dance studio and watches her girlfriend twirl and jump completely at peace. She smiles and decides it's time to stop being a creep.

"Hey baby." She says shyly looking at the floor.

Brittany twirls around with a smile before it drops upon seeing her girlfriend's puffy eyes. She swiftly walks up to Santana and pulls her into her arms. "What's wrong Tana?"

She sniffles before laughing a bit. "I'm fine now that Q slapped some sense into me." She laughs again. "Literally. Like she always has."

She brings Brittany's bruised knuckles to her lips and kisses them

"I'm sorry I made you do that."

Brittany tilts her chin up and kisses her. "You didn't make me do anything. As much as we're different, we're the same person inside Tana."

"Blue."

Brittany slaps Santana's arm playfully.

"You can't use the safe word for conversations San."


	17. Chapter 17

_Can I pick you up_

_Can I hold you_

_I want to make you feel as great_

_As I think you are_

_Can I turn your world right side up_

_Will you see it as a half full cup_

_I want your insides_

_Spill them to me_

_I wanna know everything about you_

_And still love you for all that you are_

_The good the bad the ugly_

_Ill take it with a grain of salt_

_Because no matter how crazy or twisted_

_These things make up the you I love_

_There's nothing you could tell me_

_That would shock me_

_I wanna make it all better_

_I wish to make your bad luck end_

_I wanna be the one gear_

_That makes the whole machine work_

_I want you in my arms_

_Squeezing all the pain out_

_I just want you to be more than ok_

_-AC_

Santana's POV

"Ahhhhh!"

CRACK.

"Fuck! What the fuck was that?" I look around holding my now bloody nose and see Brittany rolling around screaming in bed. I shake her awake while blood rushes down my face.

She looks around startled before rubbing the pain out of her elbow and noticing my bloody nose for the first time.

Her shocked face turns into a grin and then she's full out laughing.

"Ahh haha. That's an awesome way to get over a nightmare."

She's rolling around laughing after basically elbowing my face awake. I try to be mad but I just bust out laughing and holding my stomach while I kneel on the bed.

I shake my head at her. "You're such an ass." I laugh.

Finally getting control of myself I pull my already ruined tank top over my head and use it to clean my nose. Brittany takes it from me and tries to help.

"I'm sorry baby." She looks down upset

I kiss her softly and tuck her back in.

"It's ok Britt Britt. I'll get you back." I laugh and wink at her.

Sleep, that's what I need. I'll worry about washing the blood off my face in the morning.

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"Biggie smalls is the wickedest. Niggas say I'm pussy. I dare ya to stick ya dick in this…"

What the fuck? Is that Brittany? Rappin'?

I get up and walk to the bathroom attached to my room and see Brittany indeed, rappin', in the shower. I decide to continue the rap.

"If I was pussy I'd be filled wit syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, Chlamydia, getting rid of ya…"

Brittany pushes the shower curtain aside and peeks out smiling at me. She's too damn adorable sometimes.

"Didn't know you were a Biggie fan Britt."

She scoffs at me. "San who isn't?"

I laugh and put my hands up in surrender. "Ok Sweets."

As I walk away she starts in on a new song.

"…But I'll leave him in a second for a thicka, rock star little mama wit a guitar."

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Hearing Britt rap about a hot rocker chick made me remember my guitar. I go into the garage and pull the old, but trusty, black guitar out from under a bunch of other shit. I strum it a few times and notice all the strings are there.

Needing privacy I overtake Britt's studio for a moment and start to tune the old guitar. Quinn's right. There are other ways, and this could be one of them.

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Brittany's POV

I get out of the shower feelin' fresh and fly. Where's my sexy girlfriend at? I decide to do some lines before I go on my search to find one Santana Lopez.

Going over to the bed I reach under it and pull out San's safe. Yes, she gave me the code. If you've ever dated a drug dealer or even just an addict, you know being trusted with the code to their safe is like the equivalent of an engagement ring to a sober person.

With a smile I take out a bag and put the safe back after locking it. We decided to hide all the drugs because Santos is on the second day of withdrawal and that's the worst. I would bet a million dollars that he ransacks this room to find a bag.

I finish the bag and set off to find my hot ass girlfriend. My search on the first floor comes up empty so I decide to try my luck in the basement. Maybe she's in the lab cooking up something?

What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the steps was to be greeted with the soft strumming of a guitar. Is Puck here or something?

_When you grab a hold of me_

_You tell me that I'll never be set free_

Holy shit is that San? I slowly open the studio door and reveal that my suspicions are correct. She's sitting on the floor playing the guitar with her back towards the door. I just smile and listen to heaven itself materializing into the sound that is Santana singing.

_I'm a parasite,_

_creep and crawl I step into the night._

_Two pints of booze_

_Tell me are you a badfish too? Are you a badfish too?_

_Ain't got no money to spend_

_I know the night will never end_

_Lord knows I'm weak_

_Won't somebody get me off of this reef_

San rocks back and forth really getting into the music and once again I cannot believe this woman is my girlfriend.

_Baby your a big blue whale_

_Grab the reef when all duck diving fails_

_I swim but wish I never learned_

_The water's too polluted with germs_

_I dive deep when it's ten feet overhead_

_Grab the reef underneath my bed_

_Ain't got no quarrels with god Ain't got no time to grow old_

_Lord knows I'm weak_

_Won't somebody get me off of this reef_

_Ain't got no quarrels with God Ain't got no time to grow old_

_Lord knows I'm weak_

_Won't somebody get me off of this reef_

Her voice cracks at the end revealing to me just how much emotion was flowing through her words. I never actually felt this song before and I've heard it a million times. But the words coming out of her mouth seem to make them mean more.

I decide to speak and let her know I'm there before it turns creepy.

"Didn't peg you for a Sublime fan Tana."

She whips her head around in shock and then blushes and stares at my feet instead.

"Just cuz I'm a Puerto Rican girl from Kenso, it doesn't mean this bitch don't know good music." She laughs and winks at me.

She's too damn funny. "And just cuz I'm a white girl from Norristown doesn't mean I can't make a rap song my bitch."

I walk over to her and sit down. I pluck one of the strings before I kiss her slow and long.

"I didn't know you played guitar, or sang that fuckin amazingly."

She runs her hand over the old black guitar thoughtfully.

"Me and Q found this in an alley on my first day on the streets for Clara." She looks away momentarily before continuing. "Q would cover for me the last hour of our shift each night so I could practice." She laughs a little. "I played in the house once and Clara went ape shit. So at the end of our nights Q would stand watch over me in the alley if there was no customers," She swallows and looks me in the eyes. "And she would sing with me. That's the moment I knew Q was truly my sister."

I am amazed by this woman every single day. There is so much to her that I don't think I could learn it all in one lifetime but I want to try.

"I wanna know everything about you." I whisper wistfully.

She looks at me with a huge smile. "I wanna tell you everything about me."

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Santana's POV

"Shhhh Santi, it's ok." I'm rocking my brother back and forth in his bed while he's basically screaming that he wants to die.

"Please Tana, I just need one line." He begs while gripping at my shirt. "I just need one to feel better for just a little bit. I just wanna sleep!"

He cries on my shoulder. I feel so bad that I can't do anything for him. I'm going to try my own withdrawal remedies on him though. I can't just leave him to suffer. I pull him into a sitting position on the bed.

"Come on Santi. Put some shorts on and get into the tub. I'll come in with you and we can smoke a blunt." I rub his back trying to comfort him. "Then I'm gonna give you some Xanax and that should help you sleep. Alright baby boy?" He nods his ok at me. "Ok come on."

I quickly roll the blunt while asking Santi if it's cool if B smokes with us. He says he doesn't care who sees his sexy body. Yup, we're definitely related, we have no shame at all.

I sit on the floor in front of the tub and Britt sits on the closed toilet seat. I light up the blunt and hand it to my brother relaxing in the hot bath.

He inhales and lets out a relieved sighs. "Sooo goood."

I laugh. "So you're feeling a little better Ti?"

Santos passes the blunt to Brittany. "Yeah I can actually relax and my arms don't feel so tweeked out that I can't hold anything anymore."

Britt hands me the blunt and speaks. "Ya know I was much more of a pussy when I tried to go through all the days of being dope sick the first time. You're really strong Santi."

I smile up at my girlfriend. Could she be anymore perfect? All of a sudden Santos starts laughing. He's funny as shit when he's stoned.

"Hey… Hey Tana." He gasps out while laughing hysterically. "Do… do you remember the time you got pissed cuz I read one of your poems, and as you were storming off through the backyard you stepped into a hole and busted your ass!"

This little fucker literally has tears rolling down his cheeks as he laughs at me. Brittany's laughing too. God damnit. I pry the blunt out of her fingers and take a long drag.

"You write poetry San?" Brit asks. I quickly change the subject.

"Ha fuckin ha. Very funny guys. But you seem to forget the time I kept striking you out so you got mad and threw the bat on the ground but it came back up and hit you in the balls."

I laugh until I cry this time because the joke isn't on me. I open my eyes to Brittany staring at me like I just told her Christmas would now be celebrated daily.

"What? Do I have res on my lip?"

"No you guys are just really fuckin' cute."

"We're not cute!" Me and Santos yell at the same time.

Brittany laughs at us while shaking her head. "Yeah, not cute at all."

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I gave Santos two zanies while he was in the tub so now at least his body isn't screaming at him as much. I help him into bed and pull the covers over him. I gently brush my fingers through his wet hair and kiss him on the forehead preparing to leave. He catches my wrist to prevent me from going anywhere and the way he looks at me reminds me of him as a young scared boy.

"What's wrong Ti?"

He looks away sheepishly and I think I know what he's thinking.

"Can you um, can you stay with me tonight Tana?" He says to me with tears in his eyes. I nod and climb into his bed next to him and pull his head onto my chest.

I kiss him on the head one more time before whispering, "I'll stay as long as you want. I'll always be there for you Ti, always. Goodnight baby bro."

He falls asleep soon after and I'm close behind as my eyelids fall heavy. But before I close my eyes completely I see Britt staring at me adoringly from the entrance of the room. I wink at her and blow a kiss before uttering an I love you and falling into a deep sleep.

a/n here's a cute lil chapter for ya after all the heavy stuff


	18. Chapter 18

_Out in the desert_

_Out in the sky_

_On top of the mountain_

_Where eagles fly_

_Lies my mind_

_Venturing to a place_

_Is it safe?_

_No but we still go_

_Tap into caverns_

_Stalactites made from tears_

_Empty nights filled with sorrow_

_Hot heads with frozen hearts_

_We've reached a plateau_

_Where do we go_

_Down_

_Down is the safe place_

_Tunneling through worm holes_

_Now the mind knows not to feel_

_For the holes hold secrets_

_Secrets the mind has yet to discover_

_We find there truth_

_And no one likes that do they?_

_Truth hurts_

_And that's not allowed in this century_

_Drugs feel good_

_Lets join the war_

_Smoke joints in front of pigs_

_Lets trip in the white house_

_In this state, the mind_

_Well the mind isn't there_

_It doesn't want to be_

_Just in the case of being enhanced_

_Now the mind would like a death dance_

_Ingest powder_

_Suck on tabs_

_Blow the molly_

_As long as it feels good_

_Take too many pills_

_Cuz u just might die_

_Then we cry_

_The drugs are gone_

_And we are left alone_

_Staring at the baby blue walls_

_Wanting to go back to a time_

_Any time_

_Where things made sense_

_Cold things felt cold_

_And love was warm_

_This is the mind though_

_It will come back_

_One day_

Brittany walks into the lab where Santana is in the green room taking care of her babies. She knocks on the door frame to get her girlfriend's attention. Santana turns around with a bud in her hand smiling.

"Hey Sweets. What's up?"

Brittany smiles at how cute she is with dirt smeared on her forehead. She licks her thumb and wipes it off of San's face.

"Can you teach me how to fight?"

Santana looks up at her a little confused at the randomness of the request.

"I just…I wanna learn how to fight."

A smile creeps across Santana's features and she takes Brittany by the hand and leads her up to the work out room.

"Ok so, sit down on this stool and I'll wrap your hands."

Brittany does as she's told and sits down. Santana skillfully wraps the white tape around her wrists, her hands, and then between her fingers. She taps Brittany on the thigh when she's done and stands up.

"Do you want full boxing gloves or the kind that lets your fingers show?"

"I'll take the full ones, I wanna feel legit."

Santana chuckles, "Alright Rocky."

The Latina motions to the punching bag and Brittany follows her. She stands behind the bag and holds it still.

"Now bring your left hand up to block your face and jab with the right."

Brittany does as she's told and it's surprisingly hard. This catches San off guard and she grunts when the bag hits her stomach. Brittany shoots her an "I'm sorry" glance.

They go at the bag for a while, Santana showing her how to throw a myriad of different punches. She then goes to the closet and pulls out sparring pads and fastens them to her wrists.

"Ok babe now I'm gonna move these to different places each time you punch so follow them with your eyes and hit as fast as possible."

Brittany spars with Santana and the brunette is impressed by how quick she learns. Her punches are also hard as hell and she's quick to strike. Brittany gets bored after a while and wants to actually box.

"Put some gloves on San I wanna test out my skills."

San shakes her head "Nuh uh. I don't want to accidently break your nose or something."

Brittany pouts and it's so not fair because she knows she can get anything from San with that damn look.

"Come on I just wanna try."

"Fine."

Santana straps on the boxing gloves and squares up to Brittany. She throws a couple punches which the blonde gracefully dodges. Santana has never noticed the height difference more than she has now, especially with Britt's long ass arms swinging at her before she can even get close enough to make contact.

San makes a huge mistake when she goes to throw a right hook and Brittany not only dodges it but sends an uppercut right into Santana's chin.

"Mmmph."

Santana falls to the ground getting knocked out for a few seconds before she realizes what just happened. She looks around and sees her girlfriend standing with a gloved hand over her mouth trying to stifle a giggle.

"Sorry San. I guess I'm a natural."

They both burst into a fit of laughter at the irony of the situation. San didn't want to hurt her but instead ended up being the one knocked on her ass. Brittany helps her up off the floor and kisses her on her jaw where the punched the brunette.

"Come on Rocky, let's go check on Santi."

Brittany throws some air punches at San and laughs.

"You scared I'm gonna knock you out again Lopez?"

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The girls walk into Santos' room and find it empty. They decide that before searching downstairs they might as well do a line while they're up there. The laughter that still lingers from Britt's knock out is abruptly stopped when they take in the scene in Santana's room. Santos is currently sitting on the floor next to the bed continuingly typing in codes on the safe trying to get it open.

"How's that workin' out for you Ti?" Santana says with her arms across her chest.

Santos turns around in shock and drops the safe onto the floor. He bows his head in embarrassment. He can't believe he's succumbed to trying to steal from his sister.

"I-I don't know what came over me." He shakes his head. "I just- it's like my body took over my brain and led me here. I'm so sorry Tana."

Santana shakes her head. Honestly she expected this to happen. Heroin is like no other drug she's ever done. She's seen it completely unearth any darkness a person might have and use it to completely take them over. It's like a monster gets implanted in your body the very first time a person does dope and that monster leads you to do things you never thought morally possible.

"It's ok Ti. I've been there."

Santos looks really pale all of a sudden and thanks to Brittany's quick reflexes she grabs the trashcan just in time for Santos to vomit into it.

She rubs his back trying to comfort him. "Shh let it all out, it's ok."

Santana's phone starts to ring and she notices Ty is calling. After a short conversation she hangs up the phone.

"Who was that babe?"

"It was Ty, he needs more shit but he can wait til later I wanna look out for the Hamburglar over there." She points to her brother.

"No, go, I'll take care of him San."

"Are you sure?"

Brittany stands up and kisses the Latina

"Yes, now go, and tell Ty I said hi."

The brunette turns to leave and as she does Brittany playfully slaps her ass and winks at her.

"Is this girl really toppin' me?" She mumbles to herself as she walks away.

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Santana pulls up on Ty's corner and smiles as the big man slumps into her car. He looks at her with a smile but then it drops when he notices her split lip and bruises on her face.

"What happened to your face Ma? That shit wasn't there when I saw you the other day."

Santana decides not to tell him about the brutal sex her and Brittany had and just chalk it up to her getting knocked out earlier.

She laughs "It's a funny story actually. Britt wanted to learn how to fight so I sparred with her and then she wanted to box. I told her no at first cuz I didn't want to hurt her. But get this, she ended up knockin' me the fuck out!"

The both start laughing hysterically. Ty can't believe his baby B knocked out badass Santana Lopez.

"Ahhh! That's hilarious. I never thought B would be the one to finally knock your ass out."

"I know right. That girl got a mean uppercut."

Santana pulls into an alley and gets out of the car to retrieve the kilo for Ty. Biggie was right, never sell from your house or it will turn into the crack spot, and said spot will be the fuck raided.

"So I figured I'm gonna stick around and cook for a year to save money for Cali."

She looks around to make sure the coast is clear.

"And when I leave I wanna sell you the house with the lab and everything in it."

Ty's shocked. What the hell did he do to deserve such a great friend?

"Lopez you don't need to do that. I don't know what I did to get on your good side but I'm glad I am."

"That's exactly it Ty. You're one of the few purely good guys in this shit ass city. And you deserve to be more than just another dude on the corner yellin' at white girls to buy dope."

Ty's a big strong mixed guy but he actually feels tears well up in his eyes when he thinks about all the extra time he can spend with his son. He feels those tears drop when he hugs Santana and thanks her for everything.

He pulls away and wipes his tears fast as to not feel like a big pussy.

"My sister, she lives in Cali, I can hook you up with her and see if she can find all your crazy asses a place to live for cheap."

Santana smiles at him and pats his back before she gets back into the car. As she's pulling away she yells back at him.

"I won't tell anyone that these wet spots on my shirt are from big bad Ty Richards!"

"Fuck you Lopez!"

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Santos and Brittany are having a catch in the backyard basking in the afternoon sun. She told him moving would take his mind off the pain and the sun feels good on the muscles. She was right Santos feels so much better.

"So you love her right?" Santos asks.

Britt smiles grandly "More than anything in the world."

Brittany throws the balls back to Santos.

"You better not hurt her. She's had enough of that shit in her life."

He throws the ball back.

"I would never hurt her. She's like the rainbow in my sky after a decade long storm. She's my everything and I'm never letting her go."

Quinn comes into the backyard with a baseball glove from the garage and motions Santos to throw her the ball.

"Where's San at?"

She throws a grounder for Santos to scoop up.

"She went to drop off more shit for Ty." Brittany says.

They participate in the three way catch for a while in silence until Quinn speaks up again.

"B how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." She deflects and tosses the ball.

"Now how about you tell me the truth?"

Brittany huffs and catches the ball Santos throws at her.

"It's just bringing up a lot of feelings from my past."

Santana stands in the doorway with a smile watching all the people she loves having a catch in the backyard. Santos sees her and decides to fuck with his sister. He throws the ball so it bangs against the frame of the door and Santana jumps into the air in shock.

They all turn around to see her holding her chest in shock and burst into a fit of laughter and pointing. Santana grabs the ball and throws it at her brother.

"Fuck you guys." She tries to be menacing but she's smiling.

Brittany catches the ball before she speaks.

"She's still rattled from when I knocked her out earlier."

Santana huffs. "That's just cuz I can't release the rage on people I love."

Quinn scoffs at that. "Oh no, I've felt the rage."

"That's just cuz you're a bitch Q."

"Nope, I just have the lady balls to call you on your bullshit." She places her hand on her hip. "Now if you can, throw the ball back, you tainted our lovely time."

Santana's evil smirk takes over her face and she pegs the ball at Quinn's thigh. Quinn picks the ball up and chucks it back but misses and hits an unsuspecting Puck in the face while he stands in the doorway.

He curses holding his eye. "Mother fucker!"

They all laugh at him and collectively decide family catch time is over when someone tries to catch the ball with their face.

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Santana decides to make dinner for everyone since they all seem to be at her house for some damn reason. She chooses to cook her brother's favorite, pork chops and mashed potatoes.

Britt sits at the table cutting lines out for them while she watches her girlfriend cook. She's kind of turned on watching her bread the pork chops and she has no idea why, but she doesn't fight it.

"You're a really good cook Tana."

The Latina turns around and brushes her hands off on a dish towel.

"I've been cooking for Santos basically all his life. I guess it kinda rubbed off after doing it for so long." She shrugs and bends over to snort a line off the table.

She turns around and stirs the pot of boiling potatoes.

"You'd make a great Mom someday." Britt muses.

This catches Santana off guard and her hand slips on the spoon and grazes the side of the hot pot.

She brings her hand to her mouth to blow on it while cursing

"Holy fuck!"

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Santana and Brittany sit at one side of the table while Puck and Quinn sit at the other with Santos at the head. They're all shoveling food into their mouths like it's the last supper.

San rubs her brothers arm. "How you feelin' Ti?"

"I feel so much better. B was right the sun did help." He looks down and his smile suddenly fades. "Sorry about earlier though, I don't know what came over me."

"It's cool, we've all been there." She shrugs. "If I were you I would've took a chainsaw to that shit."

Santos chuckles, "Do we have one?" He jokes.

They all eat in silence for a while before Puck speaks up.

"San this is really good how come you never cooked like this when it was just us?"

"Because I don't like you." She says without skipping a beat.

Brittany looks across the table to Q and sees her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Q are you crying?"

Quinn quickly wipes at her eyes.

"No…um hot food makes my eyes water."

Santos scoffs "No Q, you're totally crying." He looks behind him mocking her. "Is there a Nicholas Sparks movie playing somewhere behind me?"

"No I think A Walk to Remember is on constant repeat in her head." Santana plays along.

Brittany looks at her with general concern.

"Aww is it the part where the girl dies?"

Quinn slams her silverware onto the table. "Ughh. I'm just happy we're all back together ok?" She folds her arms across her chest. "Can't have no type of emotions around you Lopez fuckers."

Brittany reaches across the table and takes Quinn's hand.

"It's ok Q, I'm not a sexy robot like Tana."

The whole table looks at her confused

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended." Santana creases her eyebrows in thought.

"Nope." Santos laughs. "Robots don't write poetry."

Santana chokes on the food she just tried to swallow and Brittany beats on her back to help her out.

"Man the only way you could get any gayer is if you wrote them on flannel shirts." Puck teases.

"Shut up and pass the fuckin potatoes."

Quinn laughs at the scene before her. "Ahh don't you just love a good 'ol happy family dinner?"

Santana and Santos both turn to her and at the same time and yell.

"Shut up Q!"

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Santana watches from the doorway of her brother's room as he oils his new baseball glove. When he's done he puts a baseball inside of it and wraps rubber bands around the whole mitt to keep it in place before he secures the whole thing under his mattress.

"Good thing I have a butch side and can teach you manly things like breaking in a new glove huh?"

Santos looks up at his sister with a smile.

"Yea, you've taught me how to be a man more than any douche bag in my life."

"Even Puck?"

Santos shakes his head. "Well he's not a douche but he can't even sink a three pointer."

Santana laughs and makes a motion with her arms like she's shooting a basketball into a hoop.

"Nothin' but net."

"Ok you just lost several cool points." He looks around pretending to find a pen and paper. "Lemme write that down."

She walks over and sits down on the bed.

"Ha ha, very funny. But I wanted to talk to you about school."

"What about it?"

"Well I called and they said you could go back next week if I revoke your drop out status, and you could start spring practice with the team." She looks away. "That is, if that's what you wanna do."

Santos ponders this for a second. "What do you mean if that's what I wanna do?"

"If you want I could help you study for your GED, I mean I passed it can't be that hard. Or you can go back to school, it's your choice Ti."

Santos thinks about this for a minute looking all around his room that he missed so damn much.

"I think I'll go back, maybe try to be a kid for a while."

Santana gets up and turns around before leaving.

"I'll let the school know. Oh and they said if you took summer classes you won't have to repeat sophomore year."

"Aren't we leaving soon? Like will we even be here for the summer?"

"Yea kid, I'm gonna cook for a year to save money. You go plenty of time."

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"Shh Puck everyone's gonna hear you."

"It's not my fault you suck dick like a Dyson vacuum, and you also never lose suction."

She pinches him in the thigh and laughs.

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Don't gotta tell me twice Q."

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Santana walks into her room and there are candles lit everywhere. Like literally on every fucking surface and Brittany is sitting in the middle of the floor.

"You havin' a séance babe?"

Britt looks up at her confused. "I didn't say anything."

Santana chuckles and sits on the ground to pull the safe from under her bed. She grabs two bags out of it and puts it back.

"Santi is so dumb, the code is his fuckin birthday." She laughs.

"I think you caught him before he got that far." Britt chuckles thinking of his face when he got caught.

They both convene at the end table and split the two bags Santana has laid out. After they've snorted all the dope they both light a cig and sit on the bed. San pulls the safe back out and rolls a blunt for the both of them. They smoke it for a while before Brittany breaks the silence.

"Lay down on your stomach, I set the mood for a relaxing massage for my baby."

San quirks and eyebrow at her.

"Oh really?" She says in a low sexy voice. "Shouldn't I be giving you a massage?"

Brittany shakes her head. "Nope. I just wanna show you how much I appreciate you. Plus I did knock you the fuck out earlier."

Santana laughs and assumes the position on her stomach after pulling her shirt and bra off. Brittany kneads all of the knots in her girlfriends back. She places random kisses on her shoulders to help the other girl relax. Then she gets an idea and decides to speak up.

"Can you maybe read one of your poems to me sometime?"

Santana stiffens and groans. "Ughh I'm gonna hurt Santi."

"I think it's incredibly sexy."

Upon hearing this Santana rolls onto her back while still keep Brittany on top of her. "Oh yeah?"

Brittany stares at her girlfriend's now exposed breasts and smirks.

"Mhmm. You know what else I think is sexy?"

Santana sees the dark lust swirling in Brittany's eyes and decides to play along. "What's that babe?"

"You."

Brittany says no more and leans down to place a slow kiss on her girlfriend's lips that conveys everything she feels for her. She places one of her legs between the latina's thighs and starts to grind into her as they kiss.

Santana moans into her mouth and grabs her ass to help her grind into her harder. Brittany feels herself getting wet as she rocks onto San's thigh faster and faster. They're both breathing heavy by now and emitting a thin sheen of sweat onto their skin. Brittany pulls back and looks into San's eyes.

"I know I'm still sensitive but maybe you could just go down on me or something." She looks away shyly.

Without a word Santana flips them over so Britt is now on her back. She unbuttons the blonde's jeans while Brittany works on her own shirt and bra. Finally free of both of their clothes they lay naked as Santana trails kisses all over Britt's body. She sucks hard on the other girl's nipple and bites it a little bit like how she knows Britt likes it.

The blonde is getting increasingly frustrated and bucks her hips into San trying to send her a message that she's about to die if she doesn't get off soon. Santana hears the message loud and clear and kisses her way down to her girlfriend's waiting and wet pussy.

She kisses around where she's needed most, teasing the girl a little more, purely for fun. Brittany grunts and grabs at her hair and she finally dips her tongues into her. She licks from the bottom all the way to the top where she attacks her clit.

"Fuck." Brittany moans and creates a rhythm to match the strokes of her girlfriend's tongue. San takes her clit into her mouth and sucks hard while using her fingers to hold her open for easier access. She then wraps her arms under Brittany's thighs and rests her hands on her hips to keep her still.

Santana goes to town licking and sucking like a trained pussy eating pro. She hums in approval at the taste of her girlfriend which causes a shiver to run up the other girls body. Britt's moans get louder and louder and her breathing is ragged and choppy. San knows she's close so she goes back to her clit and sucks on it hard.

"Fuck baby, ughh, I'm so close." She grips San's hair hard and this just spurs her to lick and suck faster than before. Brittany starts to stiffen up and moan at the top of her lungs.

"Ugh, yes, ugh, Santanaaa." She cries out as she cums into the brunette's mouth. Santana licks up all her juices like it's water in a desert. She then crawls up and on top of Brittany and kisses her while the taste of the blonde still coats her lips.

Santana lays on her chest for a while as Brittany comes down from her orgasm. Brittany's hand reaches down to play with Santana but the Latina grabs it and kisses it instead.

"I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you." Santana whispers as she snuggles onto Britt's shoulder. They lay there for a bit, just reveling in the feeling of skin to skin contact. Both of them eventually fall asleep in each other's arms sporting equally huge, and equally dorky, smiles.


	19. Chapter 19

_Down in a dirty ditch_

_I follow thee_

_Encapsulated by filth_

_Yet comfort is the emotion_

_The grime is great with you_

Brittany's POV

I can't seem to shake this feeling of dread washing over me. I thought I was done with being used and beaten by men. I thought it was all over. It seems like I'm running and no matter how fast or how long I sprint I get nowhere and I'm dragged down by the filth.

It seems the cards I was dealt in life were destined to be repeatedly folded on the table. No wild cards or aces to help me win the game. I can't complain though, I have a sexy girlfriend who would literally do anything for me and I love her like nothing else in this world. I don't wanna spread my foul mood around though so I decided to go home after visiting the club.

I spoke to Artie and Holly and when I'm ready to come back I will be bartending instead of stripping. It's less money but I feel better behind the bar than on the pole. With what happened to me 3 weeks ago I'm not entirely comfortable with men looking at me. I don't even wanna breathe their same air if I don't know them.

I open the front door to the last thing I could ever imagine seeing on my couch. Quinn is on top of Puck butt ass naked riding him while he slaps her ass. I cough awkwardly in shock and they both stop and look up at me. Without moving or even attempting to hide herself Q tries to play off the situation.

"Uh hey Britt. I thought you were staying at Tana's?"

I find it funny she's trying to talk to me while Puck is still very much inside of her. They both seem casual like it's normal, which I don't mind cuz me and San would probably do the same thing.

"Nope and now I'm glad I didn't, I think a little blackmail is in order." I laugh at their shocked faces. "I'm just fuckin with you guys, I'll leave you two to get off, but you," I point to Quinn. "Have some explaining to do missy."

I turn and leave laughing until I get to my room and the demons in my head start to make themselves known. Drugs. I need to get high that will help. I rip open bag after bag but my mood doesn't change. The only difference is that now I'm sad and fucked up.

The images of that cold basement won't leave my head. It's like there is a tattoo on my brain and I just want to burn it off. As I lay down my elbow bumps into my stuffed unicorn and seeing it immediately breaks the dam behind my eyelids and the tears flow like a river newly freed from it's confines.

I lay down on my bed squeezing Kali with all my might as my tears cascade down my cheeks and wet the white fur of the unicorn. I can't believe this has happened to me again. Am I just a body that men think they can beat and rape whenever they please? Thank God I'm gay because even if I was attracted to men I don't think I could ever trust one enough to be in a loving relationship.

Deciding not to think on it any longer I sit up and cut out some more lines while I wipe the evidence of tears from my face. Quinn walks in without knocking like she always does. I hope my face doesn't lead on how miserable I actually am.

"Hey B do you have a straw…" She trails off.

"Yea I got one in my end table." I see her looking at me funny. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You... You've been crying Britt. What's wrong? It's not Santana is it?"

I shake my head no quickly.

"No, she's perfect."

She comes over and sits on the shitty mattress with me and puts her arm around my shoulder.

"Now tell me what's on your mind other than my hot body you got full view of earlier." She winks at me.

I groan and decide to tell her cuz she's not going to leave until I do and if I lie she will know. She's like Yoda or some shit.

"I…I just feel." I try to swallow down my tears. "I feel like all the shit that happened at Finn's is digging up feelings from when I was younger." I put my head in my hands to hide the tears that managed to break free.

"I think it's time you told me your story B."

I shake my head no. "Only if you tell me yours first."

I'm completely and utterly shocked when Quinn tells me about her parents and the murder she witnessed. I'm kind of proud when she tells me how many bitches she beat up in Juvie. How can such a sweet person come from so much violence? I always thought there was something behind those green eyes, something deep and dark hiding there. Her and San are my fuckin heroes. She trails her fingers over circular burns that mimic those on parts of Santana's skin. Yeah I was beat too but at least he didn't leave me with scars that I was forced to look at everyday.

"Go on, tell me your tale of misery." She laughs trying to hide the extreme seriousness of the story she just told me.

"Ok…"

Q lays down and opens her arms for me to lay on her chest. I tell her the shortened version of everything much like she did for me. I can feel her flinch at certain parts of the story. She squeezes me tighter as my tears drip on to her T-shirt.

"Have you told San how you're feeling?"

"N-No. I don't want her to think I'm some weak broken mess of a person. She's so strong and I don't want her to leave me because I'm pathetic." I move closer to Quinn and flinch when a sharp pain comes from my ribs but I ignore it.

She lifts my chin up and looks straight into my eyes. It's kinda scary.

"Now you listen up cuz I'm only gonna say this once. She would love you if you had one leg and half a face." She pauses to let that sink in. "And San might just be the most broken out of all of us. She just hides it and that's even worse because she takes all the pain out on herself. We're all broken in some way or another but what matters is that we find someone whose broken pieces match our own and fit together to make us whole."

"Can you sleep in here with me tonight?" I ask hopefully.

"Of course Britt."

"Did you shower cuz I don't want jizz on my sheets?"

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POUND. POUND. POUND.

Santana stands in the shower with her forehead against the tiles of the wall, pounding her fists over and over again. She's so stressed about her brother going to school again in the morning and worries if he's going to get in with the same wrong people again. The salty tears mix with the water running down her face in the shower. The Latina needs her girlfriend to hold her but is too stubborn to admit it.

Finding her fingers pruney and the water turning cold, the brunette decides to get out of the shower and head into her room. She grabs a pair of boxers and a Pink Floyd shirt from her dresser before she pulls out the safe from under her bed. There's a good 10,000 bucks sitting on top of bags of drugs. She wishes the money would multiply on it's own so she didn't have to keep her family in this shit hole any longer.

Santana decides on speedballs because she really doesn't plan on sleeping at all until she takes Santos to his first day of school in the morning. Line after line helps her replace the mask on her face to look more blank than anguished. She didn't even realize the time when she launched off her bed to vomit into the trashcan by her end table.

Her body heaved and shook as it tried to expel all the drugs in her system. Santana didn't think twice about it, you get used to throwing up when heroin is involved.

Santos walks into the room and notices his sister hugging the trashcan sitting on the floor dipping off. He doesn't think any less of her because she's an addict. Unlike a lot of people her moral fiber hasn't suffered because of the dope. Santos sits down on the floor next to her and pulls his big sister into his lap.

"San you don't have to be strong for everyone all the time."

Her body becomes alert at the sound of his voice and the vulnerable territory she's been brought into. She wipes her mouth and goes to brush her teeth while throwing a pair of baggy jeans over the boxers she's currently wearing.

"I can take the bus San it's no big deal."

"No I'm good let me drive you on your first day."

They drive in silence to the public school and Santana is nervous as fuck. She knows this is best for him but she kind of wishes he would just go to school online or get his GED or some shit. Too much stuff goes on in Philly public schools. To and outsider everything seems all young and innocent but really the kids that roam the halls get into just as much shit as the adults on the block.

"You got everything? Your books, pens, money for lunch?"

She's been nagging him all morning like a nervous mother sending her kid off the kindergarten for the first time and he's starting to get annoyed.

"Fuck San you're acting like I never been to school before."

She looks down embarrassed and puts her blank look back on her face.

"To me it feels like it. Here's 3 bucks for the bus."

Santos leans over and hugs her before getting out and walking into the front door of the high school. She takes a deep breath and makes her way home where she can numb herself even further.

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San gets home and immediately grabs her safe and a bottle of Jack before sitting on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. She takes out a blunt and guts it straight on to the floor not giving a fuck how much of a mess the discarded tobacco will make. She breaks up the weed and lays it into the hollowed out cigar. San then takes out a bag of coke and a bag of dope and sprinkles some of each on top of the weed.

Some xanax bars catch her eye as she's putting the rest of the weed back into the safe and she decides to pop a couple of those too while she's at it. She doesn't even know why she feels like shit, she just does.

Santana sparks the blunt and turns the TV on. Spongebob is on the screen but she's too lazy to change it. As the blunt diminishes so does the bottle of whiskey she takes gulps of straight out of the bottle. There's bags, ashes, cigarette butts, and puddles of whiskey spread out over the coffee table by the time the third episode of Spongebob rolls around.

The brunette is getting increasingly angry every time Plankton fails to get the secret formula for Krabby Patties. She's also upset at how mean all the other characters treat him.

She takes another chug of the bottle before mumbling to herself,

"he jus wans fwiends guys." Her bottom lip trembles and the weepy side of her drunken state comes barreling down on her. She starts sobbing as, once again, Plankton gets caught and shunned by everyone.

Puck walks in to see the disaster they once called a living room. He's been selling for San on 5th and Allegheny even though she begged him not to for fear of him getting hurt or arrested. He needs the money though ever since his former employer burnt to a crisp at his hands. Santana looks over to him when she notices his presence and her tears continue to flow.

"It's…it's just that he tried s-so hard to get the formula and everyone hates him." She sniffles. "B-but he really just wants f-friends ya know?" She takes another chug of the bottle.

Puck doesn't answer and walks away to call Quinn to deal with this shit. If he called Brittany she would just act all tough and no one would get down to the real reason she's crying and he's pretty sure it's not about some damn cartoon character.

Quinn saunters into the living room to see her sister puking into a plastic bag that's not at all safe for liquid judging from the wet spot on San's leg under it. Santana looks up and cuts out lines for her and Quinn without a word.

Santana wipes her mouth and rips open all 14 bags in a bundle and pours the contents out on the table where there is an empty dry spot. Quinn goes easy on the dope while Santana goes full force. She does a line and then a shot and goes on like this for the better part of an hour before she starts to dip off and mumble.

"I'm just so stressed out Q. I'm a big pussy. Ricky was right I'm fuckin worthless. I mean look at me." She waves her hands around her body putting herself on display. "I should have taken that bad hit I gave to Clara. I'm just…oh god I don't even know."

The Latina crumples into herself and covers her face trying to stifle a sob from bursting it's way out of her. Quinn puts her arms around the small girl and tries to calm her down. She doesn't like what's coming out of her sister's mouth, not at all.

"You stop that shit right now Tana! You know that's not true. I think you need to take a few days to chill. I'll make sure Ti eats and shit."

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Brittany walks into Santana's room to find the girl laying on her bed crying while gripping her sheets with all her might. She picks up the notebook next to Santana and crawls into bed with her. The movement startles the Latina but when she looks into puffy blue eyes she knows Britt needs her just as much as she needs Britt.

They lay facing each other with bodies molded together hugging the shit out of one another. Santana breaks the silence first mumbling into Brittany's shoulder.

"It's gonna be ok, we're gonna be ok."

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Santos steps into the house whistling as he fingers the girls' phone numbers he acquired at school in his pocket. He notices Q sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette and the air she gives off makes him worried.

Without looking up she speaks to him. "I'll take you to school tomorrow. Are you hungry?"

"What's going on Q?" He's worried someone died.

"San's taking a few days to herself."

Santos goes into the living room expecting to see his sister but is met with the sight of a drug addict's war zone. Bags and bottles litter the area along with cigs and blunt roaches. He grabs the trash can from the kitchen and starts to clean up the mess.

Quinn grabs him by the arm to try and stop him.

"Don't Santi, you shouldn't be the one cleaning this up."

Santos rips his arm away and continues his mission.

"She's always cleaning up my messes, it's about time I clean up one of hers."

Quinn goes to object but decides to join him because if she can't fix San she might as well fix the living room.

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Both girls have calmed down considerably by the time Santana sobers up enough to need more dope. She pours out another whole bundle on the end table to share with her girlfriend. Both girls decide to make a game out of it and go line for line. But, unlike last time, it's taking them longer to get to the point of complete obliteration.

Britt lights a cig and leans back against the bed while sitting on the floor next to Santana. The notebook catches her eye again and she picks it up and tests the weight of it in her hand. Santana notices what's in her hand and her eyes bug out of her head.

"Can I read one?"

Santana coughs awkwardly into her hand.

"I've never let anyone read them."

"Can I be your first?"

Santana thinks for a second before nodding. She feels naked and open like she never has before but she trusts her girlfriend like she never trusted anyone. Brittany flips open the book until one title catches her eye. Brittany begins reading but is quickly stalled by the use of complicated words, and with the lack of school years under her belt, she can't complete the poem.

"C-can you read this to me?"

San cocks her head to the side confused.

"Didn't you just read it?"

Britt looks down ashamed. "No I um, I can't read the big words. I never got that far in school."

San feels for her she really does and secretly curses that bastard that took her away from everything. She notices the poem in question and gulps before beginning to recite it.

_The wind blows my hair _

_Tiny strings wiping in the breeze _

_I feel a hand on my shoulder _

_I smile, you're beautiful _

_I gaze upon the horizon _

_But nothing created on earth _

_Is more stunning than those eyes _

_So why waste time with the sky? _

_Why travel? _

_Your eyes bring me places _

_Unforeseen by mankind _

_To the moon and back and beyond _

_With one swift gaze _

_Your visual effects are nothing _

_Compared to what happens to my body _

_Just the thought of you _

_Makes my heart full and warm _

_An uncontrollable smile _

_I feel as if you were made for me to find _

_I hope someone like you _

_Can love someone like me _

_Because with out you sweet heart _

_Earth is obsolete_

Brittany wipes a tear from her eye. She's never heard anything so beautiful in her life. She wonders if it's about her.

"San that was amazing. When did you write that?"

Santana tries to hide her blush. She feels like a pussy getting all mushy and shit but that's just the effect her girlfriend has on her. This is going to be embarrassing she thinks.

"Um uh, the night I met you."

Brittany smiles and kisses her with everything she has. She's flattered that the brunette felt the same way the moment they met. Brittany couldn't have wished for a more perfect girlfriend.

"I fall more in love with you as the minutes go by San. I never thought love was in my cards until I found you. And the best part is, you love me back."

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Brittany decides to stay over so her and Santana drive into Kensington to get the blonde clothes for the next day. They've tried the whole borrowing clothes thing, and yea, that works for pajamas but Britt tried on her jeans once and they rested above her ankles. So not sexy.

Santana parks in the closest open spot on the block and the two begin walking towards the house. They wave a quick hello to Ty who's sitting on the stoop as per usual. All of a sudden a shitty Cadillac rolls to a screeching stop and two men lean out of the car with 9mm handguns. They start spraying the sidewalk with bullets and Brittany dives on top of Santana and lays on top of the smaller girl protecting her from getting shot.

The car quickly pulls away after the clips in the guns are emptied. Brittany looks around to make sure all is clear and helps Santana up from the ground. The Latina looks up at her girlfriend in awe. No one has ever done anything like that for her in her life. No one has ever risked their own well being to keep her safe and it's a weird feeling.

"N-no one has ever done anything like that for me." She looks at Britt in a shocked stupor. "You could've died Britt."

The blonde looks at her with a sense on conviction in her eyes. "And I'd do it again."

The moment is ruined when they hear a shrill scream from a little down the block. They run towards the noise to see what's going on and see Ty laying there holding his stomach as blood rushes out.

Without even thinking, Santana pulls off her shirt, leaving her in just a black sports bra, and applies it to the wound to slow the blood flow down. Meanwhile Brittany calls 911 frantically.

Santana's scared out of her mind that her friend is going to die but doesn't show him that because she doesn't want him to freak out even more than he already is.

"Ty you're gonna be alright ok? You're too badass to die from a little bullet." She chuckles dryly. "You got any shit on you? I'm gonna hold it so they don't arrest you."

Ty reaches into his pocket and hands San 6 bundles and she quickly shoves them into her bra. Ty hears Britt talking on the phone with the paramedics and smiles.

"Is that my baby B over there?"

Brittany runs over and kneels next to her girlfriend on Ty's left side. She follows San's hand holding the shirt over his wound and is shocked by the amount of blood soaking through the cloth. Brittany grabs his hand and kisses his knuckles while rubbing her thumb over it trying to soothe the large man.

"Yea Ty, I'm here. It's gonna be ok." She's in so much shock that she can't even cry. She can't feel anything really. She notices blood on her shirt and figures somehow Ty's got on her.

Ty looks right into Santana's eyes before speaking.

"Take care of her San."

The ambulance pulls up and pushes the girls out of the way. They quickly go to work and load the man into the back of the vehicle and speed away. The girls run back to the car and Santana grabs an extra shirt out of the trunk before hopping in the drivers seat. She gets lost looking at the blood on her hands and zones out before she hears the sirens in the distance and turns the car on.

Both girls are in complete shock and don't say a word. They pull into a parking spot at the hospital and Brittany opens the door and runs towards the entrance before the car is even fully stopped. After telling the nurse Ty's name they wait for an hour while the bullet is being removed. Thankfully it didn't hit any major organs but he lost a lot of blood and was placed in the ICU.

Finally the doctor tells them they can visit him and they both rush into the room to see with their own eyes that their friend is still alive. Ty looks over at the sound of the door opening and smiles. He loves those crazy girls with all his heart and plans to thank them greatly for saving his life.

Brittany rushes over to him and hands him a teddy bear with a get well soon T-shirt on that she bought at the gift shop while they were waiting. "Get better Ty." No one notices the blood stain on her shirt growing in size. And from the shock Britt doesn't notice the pain she should be experiencing.

Ty chuckles. "You know baby B, from anyone else I'd be offended by this girly ass bear. But since it's from you I'll even sleep with it tonight."

Britt smiles at him while Santana tells him she'll take over the corner until he gets better. Seeing as that's where he just got shot, Ty doesn't like that idea at all.

"No San, I'll get my boy to do it I don't want you out there."

Santana's not taking no for an answer. "No offence Ty but you're the only person I trust with that much work and the only person I know who will actually bring me my money."

Britt's face suddenly gets stark white and she's seeing double. Santana's trying to talk to her but she can't hear anything. All of a sudden her view changes from the hospital wall, to the hospital ceiling, and finally to nothing but darkness.


	20. Chapter 20

_If the most beautiful flowers_

_Grow out of mud_

_What grows of glass_

_Something shattered and broken_

_From memories of the past_

_The present holds gashes_

_Not yet faded with time_

_Soldiering on brings pain_

_Like cleaning wounds with lime_

_The future holds shards_

_Embedded in the skin_

_Not yet healed from pasts present_

"Brittany!"

Santana runs over as her girlfriend begins to fall and catches her in her arms before gently lowering her to the ground. The blonde's bloody shirt lifts up to reveal a deep gash on her hip. The blood is pouring out at an alarming rate and Santana's freaking out.

"Get a fuckin doctor!"

She places her palm over the wound to try and stop the blood flow. She can't believe this is the second time that day she did the exact same motion.

"It's ok baby. You're gonna be alright. I'm right here."

The doctors rush in and place the girl on a bed quickly before rushing out of the room. Santana races after them but keeps getting pushed away.

"Let me go!" She's currently being held at the waist by the nurse form of the Hulk. Santana keeps fighting swinging her legs in the air trying to break free as she sees the doctors wheel her girlfriend into a room before closing the door behind them.

"She needs me! Let me go Franken-nurse!"

Santana thought the blood was from Ty. How the fuck did she not notice Britt withering away right in front of her? The Latina finally calms down and the huge nurse leads her to the waiting room. She stares down blankly at the blood covering her hands, the blood of her girlfriend, the woman she's in love with. Santana thinks she should have never dove on top of her like that. The time it took her to shove San down first could have been precious time to get away from the bullet.

It's been too long she thinks. She needs to know what the fuck is going on. Right as Santana's about to curse out yet another fuckin nurse, a doctor comes out of the room and walks over to her.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Carr. Are you with Brittany Pierce?"

She's trying to gauge his appearance to predict what he's going to tell her but he's stone faced and reveals nothing.

"Y-yes I am. Is she ok? What happened?"

The doctor prepares himself for this account and runs his hand through his shaggy brown hair.

"First off, she's fine. The bullet thankfully only grazed her side. We gave her stitches but she lost a lot of blood so we gave her medicine to make her sleep so her body can recover."

Santana feels a rush of relief. She still wants to kick this doctor's ass though for pushing her away into the arms of that monstrous nurse.

"Ok, that's good right?"

"Yes, but what I'm more concerned with is the heavy bruising on her face and abdomen. We took her to get an x-ray and found she has three broken ribs." He takes a deep breath hoping her rage doesn't come back full force. "This shocked me because broken ribs are extremely painful and the aging of the bruising indicates that this happened before the shooting, ruling out that the state of shock was hiding the pain. As we were doing blood tests to make sure HIV wasn't exposed to the staff, we noticed a heavy amount of opiates in her system, which explains the dulling of the pain."

Fuck. She thinks. She still has those 6 bundles Ty gave her in her bra and she is not trying to go to jail today on top of all this shit.

"She's prescribed."

"Miss…?"

"Berry, Rachel Berry."

She spits out. No way in hell is she giving him her real name if she has to book it the fuck out of here.

"Miss Berry, the drugs in her system are the least of my concern. She seems to have been through an ordeal, we wanted to know if the police should be involved."

Santana's eyes bug out of her head. Yes let's call the police and tell them about her being kidnapped and the result ending in 4 people dead. Fuck that.

"No!" She all but screams. "No police. She was in a car accident."

The doctor seems unconvinced but chooses not to pry. He's a doctor not a detective, after all.

"OK. Miss Berry, you can go see her now. Thanks for your time."

Santana sprints into the room she saw the doctor leave from and whips open the curtain separating Brittany from the rest of the room. She looks so small and pale in the bed but her face seems to have found peace.

Santana leans over and kisses Brittany's forehead while smoothing out her knotted blonde hair. She grabs a chair from the corner of the room and places it on the side of the bed as close as she can manage. The brunette grabs the hand that's not pierced by the IV and kisses her knuckles lovingly.

"You're my everything baby. You scared me so much. I thought my rainbow was gone and replaced by clouds. Don't ever leave me please?" She begs as tears start flowing down her already puffy cheeks.

What she doesn't notice is Britt's state of semi consciousness and the smile that breaks out across her face.

Santana soon falls asleep still holding her hand. She's leaned over the bed with her head resting on the blonde's thigh. A nurse comes in to check Brittany's vitals and sees the sweet scene before her. Love is just rolling off of the brunette girl. The nurse sees her shiver in her sleep and decides to grab a blanket from the supply room. She comes back to see them still in the same position and drapes the blanket over the small girls back with a smile before leaving to do her rounds.

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"Banana sandwiches…Santana banana sandwiches…"

Santana laughs out loud listening to her girlfriend mumble crazy shit in her sleep. Even in a hospital bed she can make the brunette's day. Brittany wakes up to the sound of her favorite laugh and smiles until she realizes where she is.

"What the fuck?"

Santana's head shoots up when she hears her girlfriend's voice, lucid and out of her dream state.

"Hey baby."

Brittany looks around scared.

"W-what happened Tana?"

If her girlfriend wasn't completely terrified San would have though that it was the most adorable thing she's ever seen.

"Babe, a bullet grazed your hip and you lost a lot of blood." She sees the terrified look on Britt's face and elaborates quickly. "You're fine though B, now you got stitches and a sexy war wound." She chuckles trying to make light of the situation.

"But do you care to explain why you didn't tell me your ribs were hurting?"

Brittany looks down suddenly guilty. She knew she was feeling some pain but just did more dope to cover it up every time it hurt too bad.

"I didn't think it was a big deal San really I didn't. What's wrong with my ribs?"

Santana tells her about the 3 cracked ribs she has from Finn's goons and how she needs to rest for at least a month so they can heal. The Latina cheers her up by promising to buy a sexy nurse outfit because Brittany swears it will make her heal faster. The good time is interrupted by the doctor coming in to discharge his patient.

"Miss Pierce." He looks over to Santana. "Miss Berry."

Brittany sends her a funny look and she just shrugs and smiles.

"What can I do for ya Doc?"

"Just here to discharge you and give you a prescription for some pain meds and antibiotics."

He hands her two slips over paper and almost giggles when she sees the pain meds he prescribed her. 10mg Vicodin is like Tic Tacs to any heroin user. It's like taking aspirin for a normal person, not even worth paying to fill it.

"Now keep your ribs wrapped and change the bandage over your stitches twice a day. Any questions?"

Brittany and Santana are already gathering their things by the time the doctor states his peace. He offers Brittany a wheel chair but opts out as San scoops her up and carries her into the parking lot.

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Santana's POV

"Now when people say 'you dodged that bullet' it's completely true."

I was carrying Britt up the steps to my bedroom and she was eerily happy. I know somewhere in the depths of her soul there is a newly formed crack but she seems to have super glued it together for the time being. I place her on the bed and prop up her back with pillows so her ribs don't hurt.

"I'll be right back babe."

We were gonna be sitting around for a while until she healed so I decided to get my big drawing pad and some charcoals to sketch my love.

"What you doin San?"

"I'm sketching you. Get comfortable."

She rolls over onto her side where there are no stitches or broken ribs and faces me while placing her hands under her between her head and the pillow. God she's gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?

The charcoal in my hand makes me feel at home. I haven't ever drawn someone I loved, it's always been random objects or nudes I thought up in my head. Not slutty nudes, tasteful ones, I love sex but I'm not a perv.

After about an hour she has fallen asleep. I lean over and do a couple lines before continuing. Noses are the hardest thing to get right and it can completely fuck up the whole face if you don't draw it correctly. Britt's nose is so damn cute so I work hard to get it completely perfect.

My hands are now completely black from rubbing the charcoal to make perfect shades and highlights where they belong. Figuring she'll be sleeping for a while I kiss her on the forehead and make my way to Ty's corner to sell some shit for him. I don't want Puck or anyone doing this because if something happened to them I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. It's better if I put myself in the line of fire. I'm disposable.

Walking up to Ty's stoop I see the blood that still lingers on the sidewalk. It's crazy to think that some of that might be Britt's blood too. Out of the corner of my eye I see crazy ass Rachel making her way towards me wearing her odd sweater and knee socks. I think I would rather her have the normal homeless chic.

She comes and sits on the stoop with me looking worried.

"What's good Rach?"

"Nothin' at all Santana." She looks at my black back pack understanding what I'm doing here. "The block is hot."

Fuck I don't feel like dealing with pigs today.

"Thanks for the heads up. You want a bag?"

She shakes her head quickly.

"I don't partake in drugs, Barbra told me it will ruin my vocal cords."

What the fuck she doesn't do drugs? How is it the craziest bitch in this town is the only sober one?

"Although I did smoke wet once and that shit was crazy but it made Barbra awfully quiet so I never tried it again."

Wet is fucking crazy that shit will knock you on your ass. I can usually drive on anything but driving on that is fuckin nuts. Wet is mint leaves dipped in embalming fluid and sometimes jet fuel. I know crazy right? But it gives you a PCP like high. A lot of people around here love that shit and smoke it in blunts or dip cigs in the fluid. I'll admit I've dabbled a lot in it but the next day my brain feels like it went through a cheese grater and my lungs feel like they contracted overnight bronchitis.

"That's…interesting. But have you heard anything about who did that drive by a couple days ago?"

"No but the car was crushed at the chop shop on Allegheny."

Fuckin ass holes thinking they're all hard shooting from their cars. Why can't people fight man to man anymore? I turn to my left when I see a flash of blonde hair and Quinn is all smiles eating a sandwich from Mo's while she's walking down the street. She doesn't know that I've known about her fuckin Puck for a while now. It's funny to watch her squirm.

"Hey Q, you're looking happy today. Did someone get laid last night?"

She chokes on her sandwich and tries to change the subject.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Uh uh Q not so fast. I know you've been fuckin Puck and I just ask that you go to the clinic before sitting on my toilet seat."

Her eyes bug out of her head and she lights a cig trying to stall for time.

"H-how long have you known?"

"How long have you been fuckin?"

"Touché."

"But I'm out here cuz Ty's still in the hospital. What you doing today?"

A huge grin breaks out onto her face and she whips a square of tin foil out of her pocket.

"I got a hold of some acid me and Puck were gonna trip. Do you and Britt wanna join us?"

Hmm. I think about it cuz trippin is an 8 hour event. But it would be fun to let loose and act like a five year old for one night and seeing B trip would probably be fuckin hilarious.

"Don't gotta ask me twice."

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LSD, the most interesting drug a person could ever ingest. Everyone thinks when you take it you see crazy shit like Carebears falling from the sky but it's not at all like that. Yeah shit looks nuts but the drugs are only enhancing what is already there. Like right now as I look at Puck while he's talking I swear I can see his face muscles moving with every word. The popcorn ceiling we were staring at for the better part of an hour formed into shapes like baboons and skulls. It was like looking into the clouds and making out shapes of animals and boobs. It's like seeing all the atoms that make up an object squirm and move like this fuckin wood grain in the floor right now as I bang out a beat with my fists.

Brittany returns with a bunch of shit in her arms. I was wondering where she went. She apparently found some cardboard boxes and made cut outs in the shape of swords. She drops them in front of me along with a huge box of glow sticks we bought at the dollar store.

"B you're a fuckin genius!" I yell and clap happily.

Acid makes anyone's inner child come out and with people like us who never had a childhood it really feels great to act like an idiot. I begin cracking the light sticks and daze off into the sight of the little bubbles inside that burst and start to glow. I crack mine slow all the time I like to revel in the way it looks, especially now.

"Puck your face looks amazinggggg." Brittany is currently gripping him by the nose and moving his face side to side. I start to get trails and his face blurs with the movement. Getting back to my task I crack the rest of the glow sticks and tape them to the cardboard swords. Quinn helps me while Britt now plays with Puck's Mohawk.

"Ok is it everyone for themselves or should we do teams?"

Brittany claps her hands happily she seems to have forgotten her genius plan until I mentioned it.

"I wanna be on Puck's team so I can poke your vag with my sword." She screams.

We all bust out into a fit of laughter. I thought she was interesting before but the acid seems to have completely removed any verbal filter she might have had.

"And I wanna be on San's team so I can poke Puck in the ass with my sword so he can see how it feels." Quinn yells in a fit of giggles.

I look at her completely disturbed with the mental image and she blushes at what just came out of her mouth. We forget about it within seconds and start our glowing sword fight. Other than looking at Britt, it is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. As we swing the swords through the air the colors blend together like a living rainbow and if we weren't all set on winning the fight we would probably be content with sitting on the floor waving the swords in front of our faces.

I hear Puck screech and look over to see that Quinn completed her mission and has lodged her sword between Puck's butt cheeks so that his boxers create a deep wedgie.

We all decided in our heads to wear the craziest shit we could find. Puck's wearing his boxers and Quinn's bra around his waist. Quinn has on a Santa hat, a tie dye shirt and tie dye tank top over it, Santi's tight white baseball pants, and a macaroni necklace that Britt made her. Brittany managed to find a black beanie which she put on her head along with a Phillies hat on top of it. She also decided a shirt wasn't necessary and commandeered my leather jacket which she looped more glow sticks on. Her pants are pajamas with boobs on them and she somehow stole my Timberland's too.

I'm wearing a pair of overalls we found in the garage that have been painted with glow in the dark paint. I decided not to put anything under it cuz who needs that shit. I have a floppy hat that looks like a bear and the flaps fall down to my waist and look like the bear's claws. I have a black tight skirt pulled over my overalls and bright yellow rain boots. We look like something from the fuckin circus.

Britt's jumping around and even though I'm completely in the 4th fuckin dimension right now I don't want her to hurt her ribs or her stitches.

"Watch your ribs B, we don't wanna go back to the hospital."

She falls to the ground laughing and I can't help but laugh with her. From her spot on the ground she pokes my crotch with her glow sword and laughs even more.

"Fuck my ribs hahaha."

"Yeah fuck them ribs!" Quinn yells.

It's so funny for some reason. I think I might piss myself. I guess all the dope we did is numbing her injuries like before but I know she will be feeling it tomorrow. We all collapse onto the ground in a fit of giggles and decide to draw things in the air with our glow swords.

"Hehe it's an elephant." Puck exclaims.

"Ok what about this one." I draw a curvy line into the air.

"A snake!" B yells.

"A penis with no balls!" Q exclaims.

"No no. it's Spaghetti!" Puck roars in a fit of laughter.

I shake my head. "Nooppee. It's all of them!"

With attention spans of a 5 year old we get bored with the glow things and decide to smoke a blunt while doing a couple lines of dope for good measure, no one wants to withdrawal while tripping that would be horrible. Quinn turns on a flashlight in the dark room, where she found it, I don't fuckin know. She holds it by the base and points it towards the ceiling and blows the smoke through the stream of light. It's captivating.

"Look Tana! Q brought the clouds to your house!"

"Whoa B, you're totally right. Q's a fuckin magician."

"Jerry Garcia is looking down on us right now so proud that we finally freed the clouds."

Puck ponders this for a second before deciding to grace us with his wisdom. "I guess that's what fog is. It's Jerry freeing the clouds so they can meet their friends on the ground."

"Hi I'm Quinn and I'm addicted to clouds. PS pass me the fuckin orange juice!"

Q is so fuckin funny when she trips. I remember the first time we tripped. Clara was away for the weekend doing fuck knows and some john gave us two hits of acid. After Santos was asleep we put them on our tongues and craziness ensued.

Somehow we ended up in a bath together while we dripped food coloring into the water and watched it swirl around while we talked about who had the right to name the colors what they were called. We collectively decided that red was now called roar and orange was called banjo. Let's just say that Clara wasn't exactly happy when she came home and the tub was stained with blotches of roar and banjo.

I see the time and decide to go to the backyard and lay in the grass for my end of trip tradition. I have to see the sunrise at the end of a trip or I don't feel it's complete. I know it's weird but Q started it. We're all laying in the grass watching the most beautiful sunrise to ever grace Philadelphia and we all have huge grins on our faces.

"It's like Dr. Seuss came on the sky. I think I see the Cat in the hat in cloud form riding the moon."

I look over at Britt amazed cuz that cloud really does look like the Cat in the hat riding the moon. She's so hot and smart.

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The next morning is less than glorious. Somehow we all decided to cuddle in my bed and my strap on is wrapped around Puck's head and poking Quinn in the ear. Brittany has tooth paste everywhere but in her mouth and me and Quinn seem to be unaffected. I guess we fell asleep last. I crack my jaw a bit because it's killing me from grinding my teeth all night and reach over to grab my phone and get evidence of this shit. I can't wait to print it out and put it on the fridge.

I decide to wake them all with a gift and cut out a bunch of lines for my friends while they're asleep. I wake Britt up first so we can wash off all the toothpaste and so she can bask in the awesomeness of Puck with a dick on his head that's poking into Q's face.

She bends over to do the lines I set out for her and cringes in pain. I feel so bad for her.

"Here baby how about you lay down on the couch and I'll clean your stitches and make breakfast?"

Quinn wakes up groaning. "Mmm bacon."

Brittany giggles and reaches over to grab the strap on from Puck's head and presses it across Q's lips to wake her up completely. Her eyes shoot open before she looks over at her boyfriend and bursts into a fit of laughter.

"Haha oh man that was some good shit."

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Britt groans in pain as I put a new bandage on her wound. I told her to be careful last night but I guess she was having too much fun to feel the pain of her 3 cracked rips and 22 stitches.

"I shouldn't have been screaming fuck my ribs last night cuz they're totally fuckin me right now."

I come in with eggs and bacon for everyone and place it on the coffee table that's filled with glow sticks cigarettes and whatever else we decided to play with last night. Apparently someone found condoms and made balloons that hang from the ceiling fan.

"It's ok B. I'll take care of you. What do you wanna do today?"

"I want you to put on that sexy nurse outfit and give me a less than professional sponge bath."

I choke on my food and look around at Q and Puck smirking at me. I'm so fuckin whipped I know I'm gonna do it. This girl will be the death of me.

"Ok baby whatever you want."

Quinn makes a whipping motion in the air while simultaneously creating whipping sound effects. "Wapuushhh."

"Quinn I don't use whips on Tana I like to use her brush it's easier to aim."


	21. Chapter 21

_Look past my skin_

_Look past my eyes_

_Look past the desire_

_To get between my thighs_

_I am an individual_

_And I wish to be set free_

_Of the preconceptions_

_Of what you wish me to be_

Brittany's POV

RING RING RING!

"Nurse Lopez!"

I found this little Liberty Bell thing in the garage the other day and I think Santana regrets the moment I laid eyes on it. I know I'm pissing her off by ringing it constantly but it's just too damn funny.

She comes running up the stairs like her life depends on it and stands in the doorway out of breath. If she wasn't whipped before she is now.

"Yes Britt?"

She held true to her promise and dons a tight white nurse dress we got from Adult World. She's even wearing the little hat and has a stethoscope wrapped around her neck. If it weren't so sexy I'd be laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Ahh my favorite nurse. I seem to have this itch I can't scratch."

I smirk at her to let her know that she's the only one who can scratch that itch. She saunters over switching her hips in a way that makes me believe in god.

"Is that so Miss Pierce?" She drags her finger along my thigh. "How can I be of service?"

Fuck. Her level of sexiness has to be illegal in some countries. One slight touch from her creates a river in my panties.

"My clothes are making me oh so uncomfortable." I pull the shoulder of my shirt down a bit. "I could use a hand."

She motions for me to lift my arms and drags my shirt over my head at an agonizingly slow pace. To her surprise I'm not wearing a bra and the only thing on my torso is the bandage that wraps around my ribs.

"Any better Miss Pierce?"

"Hmm. My pants are a little stifling." I wink.

She drags her hand between my breasts and down to the string of my pajama pants. Her fingers undo the drawstring and I feel my whole body heat up and I grunt without actually meaning to. It's been far too long and I'm finally healed down there. I need to be fucked and she knows it. She's paying me back for that damn bell I've been using.

Santana grazes my hip bones as she hooks her fingers into the waistband of my pajamas and I think I might explode. I thank whoever's up there for creating Latinas. My pants are finally off leaving me in a white thong and bandages. She licks her lips slightly showing me she wants this just as much but is hiding it a little better than me.

"M-much better nurse. But the itch is still there."

She crawls on top of me like a predator and if I didn't know she was gonna fuck me I would think she was gonna eat me.

"I have just the thing that could fix that."

She stands up and unzips the side of her dress before letting it fall down to her ankles. Holy shit! She hasn't been wearing panties this whole time. I swear if everyone had a nurse like this there would be a cure for cancer. My girlfriend kicks her dress off to the side and removes the stethoscope from around her neck. Then she places it in her ears and saunters over to me with the metal round part in her hands.

"This might be a little cold Miss."

She puts the cold metal onto my skin between my breasts and it contrasts drastically between the heat of my skin. Her fingers bring the metal slowly over my left nipple and it hardens so much it's almost painful. She winks at me, she knows what she's doing to me, and after all the shit with ringing that bell I deserve this sweet punishment.

Santana climbs on the bed and straddles my right thigh. I can feel the heat coming off of her and she leaves a trail of wetness as she shifts lower to drag the stethoscope down my torso. She drags it painfully slow just under the hem of my thong. I don't know if it's her or my ribs but I'm finding it hard to breathe. Finally, she takes the plunge and rests the cold metal over my clit and the explosion of cold against heat brings me to a place of desperation.

I grip the sheets to prevent myself from shoving her fingers into me. I think she realizes I'm about to explode so she takes the implement from her ears and dips her mouth down to my panties. She takes the front of my thong between her teeth and drags it down to my ankles.

I would have forgotten her nurse act if her sexy little hat wasn't still pinned to her flowing curls. Good thing I made her shave my pussy earlier because I can't bend with my ribs broken or I would be embarrassed by the way she's hungrily looking at it.

My sexy girl kisses from my ankles up to my hipbones and then lands her plump lips on mine. I'll never get over the feeling of her fluffy lips enveloping my thin ones. Her tongue darts into my mouth and I let her do what she pleases. I feel pressure on my clit and I realize her knee is pressing against me. I rock into it trying to relieve the want coursing through me.

She pulls back and looks me in the eye and I swear she's processing me with the skill of an expensive camera. Her eyes become an aperture widening to take me in. The lids of her eyes open and close like the shutter trying to capture the scene before her. I can't believe this woman loves me. I feel her hand graze over my clit and she palms my pussy with an aggressive yet loving nature.

"Are you sure babe?"

"Yes. Please just fuck me."

She doesn't need any more assurance than that as she slips two fingers inside of me. My whole body arches up to meet her thrusts. I need more. I want it harder.

"Ughh fuck babe."

Her head dips down to suck on my neck as she pounds into me faster and harder. My nails scratch at her back and I don't know if I'm hurting her but I cant bring myself to care as she thrusts into me and the palm of her hand meets my clit over and over again. She leans back onto her knees and I find my leg stretching up to rest on her shoulder.

"You like that huh? Tell me how much."

"Fuck I love it San! Ughh yes, yes!"

She slips another finger into me and I feel like I'm about to explode. I look in between my legs and I can see my wetness start to drip down to her wrist. Her muscles flex as she curls her fingers into me and it's so damn sexy. She leans over and presses herself into her hand to get into me deeper and releases a grunt that is so hot it must have been sent from the heavens.

I feel myself getting closer as I grip her ass and bring her deeper inside of me if that's even possible. My breathing is getting heavier and I feel a bead of sweat drip between my breasts. With one final curl of her fingers and a palm slapping against my clit, my body starts to tremble and lose all control.

"Fuck baby, yes yes yes! Fuck Tana!"

"Come babe. Come for me."

My whole body tightens up and I have what might be the best orgasm I've ever had. It seems like it lasts forever and even when she collapses beside me I can still feel my walls clenching around her fingers. She finally pulls out and goes to lick her fingers off but I capture them with my mouth and lick them clean. She looks at me with her mouth agape and I shut it by forcing a kiss to her lips.

I reach behind me to grab the bell and I ring it just to fuck with her. She retaliates by biting my neck and throwing the bell across the room at the same time.

"Now you're really in trouble Miss Pierce."

I guess it's time for round two.

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Santana's POV

It's been about three weeks since Britt got out of the hospital and I love having her here. Waking up to her blonde hair in my face is the most welcoming thing I've ever come to know. When her breath tickles my neck as she lays on my chest I finally feel a sense of home that I've never known before. I want her to move in with me but I don't know how to go about it. I mean she already basically lives here but to have her move all her stuff in is a completely different thing. I think I will employ the skills of Kali the unicorn for this job.

I grab Kali and tape a note to his side that says _Can we move in with Tana? _I place him back on the bed for Britt to see when she comes out of the shower. In the mean time I make grilled cheese and tomato soup for my love. I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating my awesome fuckin sandwich when I hear a screech coming from upstairs. It sounds painful so I run up and into my room and find a naked Brittany twirling around and holding Kali to her chest.

"I guess you found Kali's message huh?"

"Yes baby! Are you sure I don't wanna free load off of you."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life babe. So is that a yes?"

She hugs me with the strength of someone who doesn't have broken ribs and I take that as my answer.

"I will take care of you until the day I die babe. Q's taking the bartending position, you will never have to do anything like that ever again if I have a say in it."

"Babe I don't want to sit here and do nothing while you work hard all day. I don't wanna be that girl."

"Well I was looking at ads for dance studios and some need teachers. So you can rest up and heal and when you're ready you can apply if you want."

She pulls back and looks at me like she just found a diamond in a dumpster.

"Baby you did that for me?"

"Babe I'd turn down water in a desert if it meant you'd be happier."

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Brittany's POV

While I was healing San helped me study to get my permit. She's so damn amazing. Since I can't really read well she helped me memorize the questions so I could recognize what they were asking. I passed the first time I took it and I've never had someone be so proud of me as she was that day. And even though she never lets anyone drive her car she's letting me use it to teach me how to drive.

"You're doing so good babe you're a natural!"

"I learned from the best."

I smile. She's so damn cute when she's excited. I pull onto Broad street and notice a cop car follow me down the road. Fuck I know I didn't do anything wrong. Why the hell is he following me? San looks back and notices the same thing I do.

"Racist fuck. He's just following you because you have a Hispanic on your passenger side."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He thinks you're a rich white girl and I'm your dealer. It happens here all the time."

As if on cue the officer flips on his lights and I find a clear space to pull over. San reaches into the glove box to grab all the information and hands it over to me along with my driving permit.

I don't even have time to roll my window all the way down when he knocks on San's side and forces the door open. He yanks her out of the car and bends her over the hood.

"What are you two doing together?" He yells.

"She's my girlfriend. I'm teaching her how to drive."

He pats her down searching for any drugs or weapons and laughs evilly into the air around us while taking extra long to search her back pockets even though it's obvious she has nothing in them.

"I'm supposed to believe blondie here is dating trash like you? She's not a dyke she's too wholesome looking."

I can see her grit her teeth and I know if he wasn't a cop she would have beat the shit out of him. Hell, I want to take his night stick and shatter his teeth and he's not even spewing hate towards me.

"Sir, I haven't done anything wrong, and if I remember correctly male officers shouldn't be searching females."

He presses her face further into the hood of the car and I see her eyes scrunch in pain from the force.

"I didn't know they taught American law in Mexico."

He presses on her face and rubs himself against her backside one last time before letting her go. The officer then comes to my side and smiles like he didn't just fuck with my girlfriend.

"There's a dumpster down the road where you can drop off your trash. But first I'm going to have to conduct a search of this car."

I look over and see San's eyes go wide and I immediately know she has shit in her trunk. I get out of the car and walk over to the sidewalk where Santana is standing and take hold of her hand. I can tell he's getting pissed when he doesn't find anything and just hope to god he actually abides by one law and doesn't search the trunk without a warrant.

I see his hands ghost over the button to pop the trunk and I can't help but chant in my head. _Not the trunk, not the trunk._

By some act of god his radio crackles to life right as he's about to pop the trunk and I breathe a sigh of relief. He responds to the call and slams the car door closed. But before he leaves he walks closer to San and spits at her feet. We wait until he drives away and then we get back into the car. Santana is raging, I can feel it coming off of her.

"Fuckin pig!"

I pull my right hand off the wheel and rub her thigh.

"Philly cops are fuckin dicks! Let's go home and get fucked up babe. I'm sorry he said that shit to you."

"It's not your fault sweets. He's just a racist fuck. I should keep doughnuts in my car as a distraction tactic."

"You think he's a glazed kind of guy or powdered doughnut?"

"I wanna give him one that's filled with razorblades."

"Tana, he's just mad you get more pussy than he does."

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Santana's POV

3 months later.

Brittany's friend Sugar moved into the house a week after she moved out. It seems Sam has found himself a girl of his own they've been sickeningly cute this whole time. I only need about 10 grand more and then we can all move to Cali. I didn't want to leave anyone behind so I saved enough for everyone in the house in Kenso to move with us. I'm not usually this kinds but Britt brings it out of me somehow.

She wants to take me on a date and I can only wonder what the hell she has planned.

"Babe it's a secret so I'm gonna have to drive."

"As long as I don't get felt up by some pig this time."

She tells me to dress in jeans and sneakers so I listen but I still add my sexy little edge. I close my eyes like she asks me to and when I open them we're in front of a place called Arnold's Go Carts. Fuck yes! She's the best girlfriend ever. I jump up and down like a kid on Christmas and she looks at me like I'm the eighth wonder of the world.

"You're so cute baby, come on so I can kick you ass."

We get into the little go carts and speed off onto the track. These things aren't normal they go at least 60 mph and she's kicking my ass. I finally get ahead of her a little and then she clips my back fender causing me to spin out and crash into a pile of tires on the side of the track.

"Hahaha. I told you I play dirty!"

"You're an ass hole!"

She ends up winning and I would like to say I let her win but it's not the truth. This girl is good at everything.

"You wanna play lazer tag Tana?"

"Hell yes at least if I lose there I can corner you in a dark room."

As we're suiting up I feel a slap on my ass. I turn around to kill the person who thought it was ok to do that and I see Quinn with her hands raised in the air.

"Whoa! Calm down Tana. I'm just here to challenge you to a friendly game."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm not gonna take offense to that. But Puck's here taking me on a date and I guess him and Britt had the same idea."

Me and Puck decide to take sides against Quinn and Brittany.

"Blondes Vs. Brunettes!" He yells and we run into the dark room when the buzzer sounds.

The room is filled with black felt walls with glowing edges and make random mazes that fill the dark room. I sneak behind Quinn and even though I know it's not a physical game, I sweep her feet from beneath her and when she falls I aim my laser gun at her chest.

"Any last words Fabray?"

Before I can shoot her I feel my vest vibrate and look behind me to see my own girlfriend shot me down. Quinn gets away in my confusion and I have to wait a minute for my gear to reboot from being shot. Good thing Puck gets her as she rounds the corner.

As I'm peaking through a hole in one of the walls trying to get someone as they walk by I feel a body press behind me.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tana. Drop to your knees."

I turn around and see my favorite blonde holding a laser gun to my chest. I drop to my knees as she asks and wait for the inevitable.

"Please don't shoot me. I'll do whatever you want."

She drops her gun and meets me on the floor. We make out for a while until I feel her vest vibrate. I look past her and see Puck with a devilish smirk. I then feel my own vibrate and look to his left and see Quinn.

"Way to ruin the moment guys!"

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After that embarrassing loss Brittany drags me over to the photo booth. Which is great cuz I can't lose that.

"Sit on my lap Tana."

I do as I'm told and we pose and kiss for the camera as it flashes a blinding light into my face. We go through twice so each of us can have a strip of pictures to keep. The funniest on my strip is Britt spreading her fingers and sticking her tongue out between them like she's eating pussy. I will never get enough of this girl.

The day is over and we finally collapse into bed. I don't even have the energy to fuck right now that's how tired I am. I grab a silver tray off the floor and lay out a bunch of lines for us. We do a bunch of dope and then I light a cig for us to share. I'm so damn tired I start to dip off right away. Being tired and doped up always feels great I know I'm gonna have the best sleep ever.

"I had a lot of fun today Sweets. Thanks for taking me on a date."

"Mmm." She mumbles. "I did too baby. Especially when I had you get on your knees in laser tag."

"I love you Britt."

"I love you too baby, so, so much."

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It's nearing the end of the summer and I'm gonna miss it. Britt is so sexy in a bikini that the heat of the sun can't even compare. I'm sitting on Ty's stoop waiting for his boys to come to me to get more shit. He's going to be back tomorrow and I'm happy he is finally better. It's oddly quiet out here and it's weird. Rico comes over to me and holds out his hand.

"How much you need Reek?"

"2 buns."

As I'm handing him the dope a cop car screeches to a stop in front of me. There's yelling everywhere as the dope boys try to get away from the block raid.

"5 oh! 5 oh!"

"Book it!"

I get up in a flash and pull my gun out of the back of my pants. I find a trash can and chuck it in there. Being caught with a dirty gun would fucking suck. I dip in and out of alley ways but I can't loose the cop that's hot on my trail. A 10 foot tall fence is coming up so I ditch my back pack and hop onto it as high as I can go. I hear him screaming but I don't care to stop.

Right as I'm about to flip my other leg over the top of the fence I feel a hand tug at the bottom of my pant leg. I try to kick him off but he won't give up. As I flail to get free my sneaker clips him in the jaw and he's not too happy about it.

"Come here you fuckin cunt!"

He reaches into his belt and I see him pull out his tazer. He's not gonna shock me while I'm ten feet off the ground is he? That's exactly what he does. I feel my body fall and everything goes black.


	22. Chapter 22

Hey everyone! Hope you're enjoying. I really have no way to tell if you aren't or not so let me know. Enjoy!

_I hear the bars close_

_That unmistakable slam_

_Sealing me inside this square hell_

_I'm caged like an animal_

_And treated as well_

Santana's POV

Turns out most people piss themselves when they get tazered and I was no exception. I woke up on this metal table that was welded to the wall. The cops like to refer to it as a bed but it's more like an autopsy table. My clothes are nowhere to be found and instead I'm in an orange jail issued jumpsuit. I'm also wearing this damn sports bra that gives the illusion that I have a uni boob. How the fuck did this happen? I've been doing illegal shit my whole life and they catch me when things are actually looking up. Britt must be so mad at me. I wonder if she even knows where I am?

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Brittany's POV

Where the fuck is Santana? It's almost midnight and she's been gone since noon. I heard the block got raided earlier and I hope she's not in jail. I have to call Quinn. Just as I'm about to pick up my cell I hear a knock on the door. I rush down the steps and see the last thing I ever thought I would see. Crazy Rachel.

"Brittany, Barbra and I have some unfortunate news for you. May we come in?"

I motion for her to come in and we sit on San's living room couch.

"As you may know the block was raided today."

I nod urging her to get the fuck on with it.

"I saw Santana running and I grabbed her gun from a trashcan before they came back to find it but I never saw her again. Barbra is pretty sure she's been arrested."

No. No. No. This can't be true. I feel like I'm gonna faint. I have to get to Q.

Rachel just gets up and leaves once she tells me the news and I search frantically for my cell phone. It only rings once and Quinn's voice comes on to the line.

"Britt don't freak out ok? But I'm her emergency contact and the jail just called. It's not looking good. They caught her with almost 50 bags."

I drop to my knees. This can't be fucking happening. She was doing this for all of us and she gets thrown in jail. She only had one more fucking day of being on the streets and Ty was gonna be back. Why does life keep fucking this girl?

"W-when can she come home Q? When can I see my baby girl? I want to see her!"

My sobs can no longer be controlled. This hurts too much.

"I-I don't know Britt. They're holding her until her court date because she's a flight risk."

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Santana's POV

There's just something wrong about washing my face in a metal sink that's connected to an equally gross and metal toilet. Like how can the sink be on top of the back of the toilet and not use the same water? Whatever at least I have my own cell in the police station for the time being. A cop strolls by and I decide to yell at him. I want my fucking phone call. I walk up to the bars and wrap my fingers around the cool metal.

"Yo! I want my phone call now!"

He shakes his head and opens my cell with a key ring that could rival a janitor's. The officer cuffs my hands for some fucking reason and leads me over to a desk with an old ass phone on it. I have to tuck the phone between my shoulder and head while I use my cuffed hands to dial the only number I have memorized.

"Hello."

"Hey baby it's me."

"Oh San."

I hear her try to control her crying. I feel like shit. I'm making her sad because I fucked up.

"I'm so sorry baby. Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you Tana. I'm just so worried about you. Q told me everything she knows. Are they gonna raid the house?"

"No it's under Puck's name for this exact reason. I love you baby but I need to talk to Q. Is she with you?"

I hear shuffling on the other end and then someone take a deep breath.

"Tana you're in deep shit."

"I know Q, I know. But I need you to go into the basement. There's a tile in the green room that comes up and it has all my money in it. I need you to get me a lawyer and take care of everyone ok? I don't know when I'll be out and I trust you the most with all this shit, I don't wanna put that pressure on B she can't handle it."

"Ok. We're gonna get you out San I love you. Here's B again."

"I love you so, so much Tana. I feel like my body doesn't work correctly without you."

"I know baby I love you too. I always will. But hey their making me get off the phone now. Be strong baby."

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Quinn's POV

After Santana called Britt fell to pieces and cried herself to sleep. I know she's gonna be gone for a while but Britt still has this false hope that she's going to get out of it. I figure while everyone is asleep I'll go find the money stash in the basement.

I pick up the tile on the floor that has a crack in it and find a shit load of cash in a plastic bag with a piece of paper on top. On top of the paper she wrote_, California. _Underneath the heading is all our names and cash amounts next to them. Like, literally all our names, even Sugar is on there. She was saving extra to take all of us with her. She wanted to get all of us out of this slum. Damn why does this world always sweep her feet out from under her?

I grab about ten thousand for her lawyer and lock up the rest. We love her and all but the fiend in us is bound to take over and I don't want anyone else knowing about this.

I make my way upstairs and see Puck crying at the kitchen table. He never cries so I know he must've found out about San. After I put the money on the kitchen counter I wrap my arms around him. San was right I'm gonna have to hold it together for all of them.

"Shh. It's gonna be ok Puck. We're gonna get her out of this."

He's shaking now from the strength of the sobs tearing through him. I've never seen him so upset.

"S-she's always taking care of all of us and I couldn't do anything to help her! I…I can't do anything."

I pull up a chair and pull out the last bundle San sold me. I made her let me pay for it even though she only let me pay 20 bucks. She's too good for this world. Puck pulls out an 8 ball of coke and we go to town drowning our worries in powder. San's probably starting to withdrawal now, poor thing. I went through that in jail a couple times when I got caught for soliciting and it's not fun at all. Everything there is cold and uncomfortable already, add being dope sick to that and it's literally hell.

It's about 7AM now so I should probably wake Santos up for school, that is, if he still wants to go. It sucks that they only had a couple months to be together again after being held at Finn's.

I knock on the door and it opens a bit to show that Santi is already up and sitting in bed. He looks like shit but anyone would in this situation. I know he's not gonna talk to me, he's much like his sister in that aspect, so I just hold him as silent tears cascade down his face.

"You don't have to go to school today if that's what you want."

"N-no I have to do something. If I… If I stay here all day I'll drive myself crazy."

He pushes me off and puts on the infamous Lopez mask that tells the world there's nothing wrong. It's his last day of summer classes and then he gets a week off until he starts his junior year. I know he wants Santana but I'm going to be there for him as the sister I was years ago and still am.

We get into Santana's camaro and it's so hard to smell her everywhere. The dash has a filmstrip of her and Britt from the arcade we went to the other day. I make a mental note to bring that to her along with her journal so she has something in that shit hole. I hold it together until Santos gets out of the car. As soon as he enters the doors I take a moment to break down where no one can see me. I have to be strong like her to keep everyone safe and I honestly don't know how she did it. I want my sister back too.

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Santana's POV

It's so cold in here but I'm sweating at the same time. I'm dope sick and it's a tease to know that if I was home I could bathe in heroin if I wanted. I have no blanket and no pillow just this damn cold metal bed and the jumpsuit they gave me. I go to court tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to stand in front of them when I'm shitting my brains out every five minutes. My arms and legs are begging to be cut off. Every nerve in my body is yelling at me to give them what they need and I can't.

I'm grinding my teeth so hard I'm surprised I have any left. This must be what dying and ending up in limbo feels like. Restless but tired. Cold but sweating. Painful and debilitating cramps. Holding cells are the worst because you're in between in the system and they don't let you have personal items. I spent a couple months in jail for assault before and the holding cells are always horrible. At least in actual lock up you get a bed with a mattress.

I hear the tell tale signs of my cell opening and they tell me to stand up so they can cuff me. I can barely walk and the officer is telling me I smell like shit. If he didn't have a uniform on I would've kicked him in the balls. He leads me into a room where a man in a very expensive suit sits at the metal table. Q did good. It seems she got the best lawyer in Philly. He has black extremely slicked back hair and eyebrows that could rival a muppet but his smile warms my freezing body.

I sit down and he pulls out a file with my name on it. Shit just got real.

"Hi Miss Lopez. I'm Blaine Anderson. You're friend called me to manage your case. How are you making out here?"

Really how am I doing? Isn't it fucking obvious?

"Well they have awesome room service here. They even slide it under the bars for me."

He doesn't falter, not one bit. I guess he's used to ass holes in jail.

"I understand, that was a dumb question. Let's get to work here. The DA has offered you a plea bargain. If you plead guilty they will drop the sentence from 5 years to 2. Also they will drop the charges for assaulting and evading an officer."

Two fucking years! I guess it's better than 5. Fuck I'm not going to be able to hold Britt for two years. Santos is gonna turn 18 without me. He's gonna graduate and I'm not going to be there to see it. Q's gonna go crazy trying to help everyone. But it's better than 5 years.

"Ok sir. I'll do it."

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"Case number 387-283. Santana Lopez Vs. The state."

Brittany, Quinn, Puck, Holly, and Santos sit in the back of the court room as they watch a frail Santana shuffle into the room lead by two huge cops. Her arms and legs are shackled and she looks far too pale for a Latina. They can all see the sweat on her forehead giving away the fact that she's extremely dope sick.

She makes her way to the front of the room and stands beside her lawyer with her head held high despite the fact that her body wants to keel over and die.

"Miss Lopez you have been charged with felony possession of Heroin, evading police, and assault on an officer."

"Yes sir."

"The DA has given you a plea bargain and will drop the last two charges and lower the main charge are we clear?"

Santana drops her head. It's going to kill everyone in that room when she pleads guilty but she had no other choice.

"Yes your honor."

Everyone in the back holds their breath for the last part. Quinn squeezes Brittany and Santos' hands to try and help just a little bit. Puck wants to steal a cop's gun and shoot the whole place up so they can all escape to Mexico. Holly wishes she never taught her how to cook.

"How do you plead?"

Her head drops as she prepares to utter the one word that will send her away from everything she loves. She has to keep it together for them, she always has.

"Guilty."

There's a loud gasp that comes from the back of the room. She doesn't look but she can tell Brittany is falling apart.

"You will serve 2 years without parole at Eagleville State Prison."

The judge bangs his gavel and everyone rises. Brittany loses it and Santos has to help her stand up straight.

She keeps chanting over and over. "No, no, no, no."

The officers usher Santana past her friends and family but she's in search of her favorite blue eyes. Finally brown meets blue and everything seems to slow down. A single tear flows down the latina's cheek. She's going away for two years and won't see those blue eyes in the sun again until she gets out.

Brittany breaks free of Quinn's hold and runs towards her girlfriend. She makes it to Santana and kisses her with everything she has.

"I love you Tana. I'll wait for as long as it takes. I love you so much!"

The guards pull Brittany away from her and Santana struggles to remain in her girlfriend's embrace. The policeman now has her by the waist as her shackles clink together from her struggle.

"I love you baby! I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry!"

San doesn't care that she looks like a complete fucking pussy right now. She's sick and everything she loves has been taken from her. Yeah, she knows what she did is illegal but it still hurts as much when the gavel comes down and two years of her life are taken away.

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"Artie I need my job back."

"Sure thing Britt, the guys missed you. Can you start tonight?"

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Santana walks down the cell block as nasty bitches hoot and holler at the fresh meat. She's been here before but not for years at a time. She's still withdrawing and just wants to lay the fuck down.

The guard hands her a pillow and a blanket and tells her the deal.

"You will be known as prisoner 30327. Warden Sylvester will meet with you in a week."

He pushes her into the open cell where another Latina resides on the bottom bunk reading a book. She pays her no mind and climbs up to her bed to rest her muscles. The other girl has other ideas. She stands on the bottom bunk and rests her elbows on Santana's bed, looking her straight in the eye.

"You dope sick?"

"What's it to you?"

The other girl hops down and reaches through a hole in her mattress. She pulls out a bag of dope that ironically has the stamp "Blue" on it. She shakes it in front of San's face and her whole body craves it just that much more at the sight of the heavenly powder.

"Give me your fist."

Santana's a little apprehensive. She knows nothing is free in jail and doesn't want to end up being this chick's bitch for dope.

"I know you're not giving this to me out of the kindness of your heart so what do you want?"

The other girl chuckles dryly as she grabs Santana's hand and pours a bump out.

"I just don't want you shitting every ten minutes in a room I have to sit in. I'm Rosa by the way."

San snorts the bump and waits for relief to come.

"Santana."

Rosa's eyes squint in contemplation for a moment before she speaks.

"Santana Lopez?"

"Yea, how the fuck do you know my name?"

Rosa does her own line before sitting at the desk chair in the corner.

"Well for one I know you cook this shit. Seems like everyone does except the pigs." She laughs. "And secondly this lady talks about you all the time. Says she regrets leaving you and your brother or some shit."

Santana's freaked out. This lady couldn't be her mother could she? If she is she's gonna make a shank and stab the shit out of her.

"How do you get dope in here?"

Santana finally feels better and sits up on her bed. Rosa contemplates telling her the truth but figures she can be trusted since she makes the best heroin in the state.

"That lady I was telling you about. Gloria. She has connections with the guards and gets it in somehow. You can get a bundle for a carton of cigs or get someone to put money on her books."

Well shit. Santana thinks, she's gonna have to meet this lady afterall. She's gonna have to pay someone for the dope she makes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Brittany's POV

This house is too quiet without her. This bed is too cold and the dope I'm doing just makes me think about how she's sick in a cold cell with no one to hold her. Holly has been in the lab cooking up more stuff so the streets don't go crazy and so we don't run out of dope ourselves. Santos went straight up to his room when he came home and refuses to talk to anyone. I don't blame him. Puck feels guilty. He was a couple blocks over when he saw the cops heading towards Indiana street. He tried to call her to warn her but she never answered. He ran as fast as he could but by the time he got to the block it was swarmed with cops.

Quinn seems the same. Even though I know she's not. She's just trying to keep it together for all of us. I know San told her to do so. I just wish she would talk to me instead of holding it all in until she explodes. San's not allowed visitors for the first week she's there and it makes it even harder because the jail is only an hour away.

It's killing me to sit in her room and smell her everywhere but I can't touch her. I can't listen to her call me Sweets and I can't stare into her chocolate brown eyes. It's been a day and I feel like I'm dying inside already. How am I supposed to make it two years?

Someone knocks on the door and I yell for them to come in. Q shuffles in wearing a mask of indifference. Wordlessly she pulls a bunch of dope bags out of her pocket and pours them onto the end table. She motions for me to kneel beside her and we silently snort the lines she laid out. She leans back and grabs Santana's journal. She pulls the strip of pictures we took at the arcade out of her pocket and places them inside the pages.

"I just got my sister back and now she's gone again. She's gone and I can't do anything to help her."

I bring her into the bed so she can take comfort in being surrounded by Santana too. I lay beside her and she rests her head on my chest. I wouldn't know she was crying if her tears weren't soaking through one of San's shirts I put on earlier. I feel like everything is going to fall apart without her here. We all need her in some way but we're trying to be strong. At least we have each other, San's in jail with no one to hold her at night and no one to tell her she's loved. But I'll write her everyday if it means she can at least read the way I feel. I'd wait for her for 50 years if that's what she was in for. Ever since the day I met her I felt like there was never a me before there was a her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Santana's POV

I thought Puck's snoring was fucking bad but Rosa sounds like a wood chipper when she sleeps. She's been oddly nice to me and I hope she doesn't expect to fuck because my vagina belongs to Brittany. I'll rub up against the bars of our cell before I fuck anyone in here.

It's been a week and I can have visitors as soon as I meet with the bitch of a warden and get cleared. Rosa's been sharing her dope with me until I can get money on my books. I need to call Quinn and get her down here. For some reason I don't know if I want Britt to see me here. I don't want her to walk in and see the shit hole that is now my home.

"30327 you have a meeting with the warden get the fuck up."

I stand up and put my wrists through the slot in the cell door so I can get cuffed for the millionth time in a week. The husky bitch of a guard leads me through the cellblock and I'm looked at like a piece of meat. From my short stints in this place I know the deal. Never cry and never put your head down. I square up my shoulders and look ahead to let these bitches know you don't fuck with me.

The door to the office opens and I'm met with a short haired blonde that obviously thinks she's the shit. I hate her already.

"Santana Lopez. I've heard all about you. You've gotten a lot of people here hooked on the shit you make. Of course there's no way to prove you provide all of Philly with heroin but I know the truth. Uncuff her I need to do a strip search."

The butch ass guard releases me and leaves the room. This is going to be so fucking fun.

"You know the drill strip down."

"Isn't this usually done in a room full of guards?"

She pulls out her night stick and slams it down on her desk. Fuck I managed to piss her off within 5 minutes.

"Don't question me you piece of trash! Now strip down!"

I wanna choke this bitch but I have to be good so maybe I can get out early for good behavior. I slowly unzip the front of my gorgeous orange jumpsuit while I kick off my slip on shoes. The jumpsuit pools around my ankles leaving me in prison issued black panties and sports bra. God forbid we had normal bras and someone made a shank of the underwire. Eventually I'm standing naked in front of her and she's circling around me like I'm prey.

The bitch pushes me over to her desk and forces me to bend over on top of it. I've never had a woman make me feel like this and it's an odd feeling. It's making me feel like Ricky's hands are all over me. I hear the snap of latex gloves and my body automatically stiffens. She comes behind me and spreads my cheeks so she can see inside. This is fucking embarrassing. When she's sure I don't have a meth lab shoved up my ass she releases her hold and slaps my ass. I wanna kill this bitch.

"Now squat and cough so I can make sure there's nothing up that loose pussy of yours. I know you Mexicans start having babies at the age of 10."

Why does everyone always think I'm Mexican? I do as I'm told and pass with flying colors. I think she's mad she didn't find anything.

"Ok Lopez now get the fuck out of my sight before I beat you and get away with it."

The guard cuffs me again and she tells me I can make a phone call.

"Hello."

"Hey baby it's me. I miss you."

I hear crying on the other line and it hurts so bad not to be able to hold her.

"I-I miss you so much Tana. You're on speaker. Q's here too."

"Cool. I can have visitors now. And I understand if you don't wanna come here B but I need Q to drop me off some shit and put money on my books."

"What do you need me to bring?"

"I need my journal, a shit load of cigarettes, and I need you to put money on Gloria Vega's books."

"Who the fuck is that?"

"I'll tell you when you get here they record this shit."

"Alright I'll be there tomorrow. Here's B again. I love you San."

"Love you too Q."

There's sniffling on the other end and I can tell B's trying to hold it together. Why did she have to fall in love with such a fuck up like me?

"Tana I wish you could hold me."

"Me too baby, me too. But I gotta make this quick because they're telling me I gotta go. I love you baby so, so much. Stay safe ok?"

"I love you too Tana. Forever and always."

"Forever and always Sweets."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

"Lopez, visitor!"

I hop down off the top bunk and accidentally wake Rosa. Oops. My hands are cuffed once again and they lead me down to the visiting rooms. I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared to see Quinn. Seeing her makes this all a little more real. I'm shocked when they open the door and I see not one but two blondes waiting for me. Fuck I don't know if I can see her and not be able to hold her. This is too damn much.

I sit down at the metal table and they take my cuffed hands and attach them to a long chain that's welded to the table. They both look up and I can tell they don't know what to say. So I decide to speak first.

"What's up?" Really Santana?

At least that gets them to chuckle a bit.

"I miss you Tana." Britt says and she reaches over to touch my hand but before she can make contact a guard yells.

"No touching!"

I see my girlfriend pout and I wanna kick that guards ass for yelling at her. I give her a weak smile and turn to Quinn.

"I did everything you asked. I dropped the journal off at the front desk and it should be in your cell by the time you get back. I put a little gift in there for you too."

"Thanks Q. How's Ti doing? I know he's a hard head like me but I know he cries when he's alone. So just keep a look out for him alright?"

I know she wants to ask how I'm doing but I give her a stern look because I don't want to lie to her and say I'm fucking peachy.

"He's ok. We're all trying to adjust. Holly's been in the lab keeping up with everything and Ty's back on Indi. You're beds comfortable by the way."

I decide to fuck with her because I need something to laugh about in here.

"You fuckin my girl in my bed Q?"

Britt plays along with me.

"Yeah but she can't do that thing with her tongue like you do."

Quinn's eyes bulge out of her head and I laugh for the first time in weeks.

"Gross guys, I love dick too much for all that."

We talk for a bit more and I tell them about Rosa and how nice she's been. Britt tells me she went and got her job back and I'm not too happy about it. There's more than enough money in my stash but as usual she doesn't want to free load off of me. I let them know about Gloria and how ironic it is that I have to buy my own dope. I get lost in our conversation and before I know it the guard is coming over to take me back to my cell.

"I love you guys so much. Be safe ok?"

They nod and it hurts so bad that I can't kiss Britt or hug Quinn when I'm lead out of the room. It might just be easier if I don't see anyone until I get out.

As expected my cigs and notebook are on my bed when I come back. Rosa already opened a carton because I promised to pay her back for all the dope she shared with me. At least I have a friend in here. I pick up my notebook when I see something rectangular sticking out of it. I pull out the piece of paper and when I flip it around I almost let myself cry. It's the picture strip from the photo booth. Q must have seen it in my car and put it in with my stuff. That's why she's my sister. She knows little things like this will get me through.

Rosa comes up behind me and looks at the photo in my hands. She smiles knowingly and pats me on the back.

"Girlfriend?"

"The love of my life."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

It's time to go down to the mess hall to eat what they like to call food. I stand in line with my metal tray and wait for the slop and bread to be shoveled out. I find Rosa and we sit at our usual table around bitches I don't care to know.

I'm minding my own damn business when an older woman, about 40, sits across from me. She looks oddly familiar but I dismiss the notion. I've never seen this bitch in my life. I feel a tap on my knee under the table and I look down to where she's holding a bundle. I quickly grab it and shove it in my bra before the guards can notice. She must be Gloria's drug runner.

I look up and meet her eyes and see her jaw is hanging open. Do I have something on my face?

"What the fuck are you staring at bitch I'm tryna eat."

"Santana right? Do…Do you have a brother named Santos?"

Can I have one day without people getting in my shit?

"Maybe. Who's asking?"

"Me. I um. I'm Gloria. I'm your Mother."


	23. Chapter 23

_Can't you hear me crying?_

_Do you notice me in the corner?_

_Folded into a ball_

_Waiting for your help_

_I'm shivering Mommy_

_Because of what he did to me_

_Come back please_

_I'm begging you_

_No child should reside in hell_

_He did it again _

_Can you hear my screams?_

_The scars inside and on flesh_

_I beg for help_

_But Mom you're nowhere to be found_

_Mom is it true your world is sleep and sound?_

_The grass on your side is greener_

_But can you sleep at night?_

_That little girl you had_

_You could have loved her_

_And not leave _

_And now I am a shell _

_Of what I could have been_

_-AC_

Brittany's POV

_Dear Tana, _

_Since you did poetry and it helped I figured I should give it a shot because it's hard for me to explain how I feel out loud. Quinn helped me with the big words. I love you baby girl, my strong sexy woman. Think of me, I'll be thinking of you._

_A day without San is a day without sunshine._

_Flowers seem to bloom later _

_And the wind refuses to alleviate the sweat_

_Gathering on my neck. _

_Cats refuse to purr _

_And it seems my heart refuses to beat. _

_Water no longer feels fresh upon my skin_

_As it cascades down my body._

_Because Santana is in everything._

_She's in the water that heats my skin,_

_the air in which I breathe,_

_and the blood that pumps within my veins._

_But I find myself in a petrified forest. _

_There's no sight of her here. _

_My body's suffering, shutting down from the attack of need. _

_No warm arms to set my nervous system on track._

_xxxx_

Ty's all healthy again, back on the block making money to support his family. I'm glad he made it. He's one of the good guys. Ty deserves all the world has to give.

"Hey my big chocolate bear." I pinch his cheeks and sit down on the stoop with him. I skuff my shoe against the concrete and think of Santana. This is the last place San sat before she got arrested. Ty notices my forlorn look and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"I miss her too baby B. I miss her too."

I curl further into Ty's chest and the tears start.

"I felt like there was a hole in my chest my whole life. Then I met Santana. My sweet, strong, loving Santana. She was the girl I prayed for all of those nights when I was a child. The girl that would eventually fill the void. Now that she's gone, the hole is there again."

Ty's crying silently I can feel his tears on my cheek.

"I feel guilty because it should be my in that jail, this is my corner."

"it's not you're fault Ty. She doesn't blame you."

Ty winces when he tries to shift his weight.

"I promise to pay her back for paying my medical bills. She's truly amazing."

"More than amazing."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

"You mean. Mother, as in the bitch who dropped me and my brother off on a doorstep?" Santana is fuming, but acting calm inside.

She smoothly takes the bundle from her bra and secures it in her sock. She tightens her ponytail and places her hands on the table in front of her.

"Y-you don't understand. You father was dangerous. A paid killer. I-I figured you both would be safer."

Safer? Santana thinks. She couldn't have been less safe.

"Do you know where you left us huh?" Her tone is getting more tense. "Only the home of Rick Vazquez."

She takes a deep breath, clasping her hands tightly together.

"Wanna hear a story? _Mother?_ Until I was three he saved money on ashtrays and decided to use me." She pulls her sleeve up and shows Gloria the scars that litter her arms.

"By the time I was three he decided I was old enough for more extreme fun. Touching me. Making me touch him."

"My eighth birthday was one to remember. He tied me to the stairs and fucked me until I passed out. Happy birthday to me right?" She chuckles dryly.

Gloria is dumbstruck listening to this.

"But you had another gift for me and when you dropped him off. Did you hear me screaming and running down the fucking street! You just turned around and left us there. But there's more."

Gloria did hear her scream that fateful night.

"When I came home from school on my 12th birthday I saw Rick bending Santos over the couch in his underwear. And since, ya know, I'm family and actually love my blood. I snuck behind him and stabbed that fucker to death."

Santana is standing now. She's shaking with rage and about to black out and have no control of her actions. She's waited her whole life for this.

"The foster home we were placed in. The bitch made us pee in cups and get her drugs. When I turned 14 she put me on the fucking streets to turn tricks and I got addicted to heroin. I saw her beat my foster sister to the point where she had a miscarriage."

Santana grips the metal lunch tray.

"So is that what you consider safe!"

Santana grabs the lunch tray and smacks Gloria in the face. She then hops over the table and straddles the older woman on the floor and pounds on her face. At this point San is blacked out with rage.

"You fucking Cunt! You selfish bitch! You never came back! I prayed every night you would come!"

She starts banging Gloria's head on the ground until she's lifted off by the guards.

"I had blood on my hands by age 12 cuz of you! Rot in hell!"

She opens her arms towards the inmates.

"Look at what she made me."

The guards pull her away while Gloria lay knocked out in a puddle of her own blood, blood that somehow runs through Santana's veins.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Santana lands herself in solitary confinement with nothing but her thoughts. They go straight to Brittany. She needs her touch and finally being in a room by herself she can find her release

_Brittany's in the shower washing her pussy when she strokes it a certain way and Santana comes to mind._

Santana unzips her jumpsuit and glides her hand into her panties. She teases her clit and grabs her tit thinking of Brittany and her fingers.

_The blonde props her leg up on the edge of the tub and follows the cascading water's lead. Her hand glides between her wet pussy and she thinks of San's tongue. _

"Ughh fuck me Britt." Santnana envisions Brittany pushing her against the wall and pushing her fingers deep. Santana in turn plunger her own fingers into her pussy.

"_Eat my pussy baby. Mm let me ride your mouth." Brtt rubs her clit furiously while thinking of holding the back of San's head and bucking her hips into her face._

She's getting closer. She's coming

_She's coming _

"Yes ugh Britt!"

"_Fuckkk San!"_

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2nd Year of prison

"Done being a bitch I see?"

"Still annoying I see?"

Rosa is on the floor doing pushups. She has medium length straight black hair. She keeps it in a ponytail. This girl is bad ass. She's like 5'8" and muscular as but tanner than her cell mate. San would think she was sexy if she was into the sexy butch thing Rosa had goin on. That chick is like something off the L word.

"You know you're not the only one that's killed for family." Rosa sits on the bed. "I'm in here for doin just that."

"Why'd you do it?"

"I killed my sister's boyfriend for almost beating her to death. This isn't the first time I've killed for family. Just the first time I got caught. Just 5 more years I'm already halfway there"

"Sometimes you have to do the worst things for the best people."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

_Mi amor, _

_I ache for you in ways unimaginable. I'm glad Q's keeping you all safe. We're still going to Cali I have to keep up hope here. Tell Santi to be good and that I love him to death. You can tell him I beat the shit out of my mom too. He's graduating now and he's old enough to handle it. I wish I could watch him strut across that stage I never got the chance to. I'm so proud. Baby Rosa caught me rubbin one out last night. She told me to stop moaning your name and shove a pillow over my face. She's awesome you would like her._

_Baby I dream about you every night. My puzzle is missing a crucial piece. You are my soul mate Brittany Pierce._

_Te amo,_

_Tana_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx_

_It's midnight. Everyone is out of Santana's house a window breaks and 6 people file in_

Brittany walks into the house first. Everything is thrown around. San's safe is missing. The lab equipment is gone. They left the plants though.

Quinn rushes in next and checks under the loose tile in the green room for San's secret stash. Gone.

Everything's gone.


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for reading. I would love more reviews it's making me sad =[ but if you would like to ask me questions or say anything about the story my twitter is acphotog27. Thanks so much for reading! But I need reviews cuz they inspire me and a simple that's great or even a you fuckin suck would be good haha

Ps some major shit is about to go down.

_Dear Journal,_

_ My Mom is a cunt. I waited so long to scream at her. She's still in the hospital. I should have killed her. But in the end she's a cunt and this is how I feel:_

_Leave if you must_

_But ill still be here_

_Picking up the pieces_

_Go ahead and leave just_

_Let me take care of the rubble_

_Of the house you single handedly_

_Tore down_

_Leave so the only memory I have of you_

_Is that of your back getting smaller_

_As you get further away_

_Ill be bleeding from picking up glass_

_As u walk away with that fuckin smirk_

_Leave me alone with the thoughts and the hurt_

_The tears and the trembling_

_Leave me here to rot_

_Well id be doing that with company if u were here_

_But as I rot alone I will think of you_

_And as I try to pick up the pieces I will cry for you_

_I will cry for the memory of your back diminishing_

_The memory of my wrists bleeding from cleaning it all up_

_The memory of a house that stood tall_

_And that is now in pieces_

_Shattered memories and painful remedies_

8 months left / Before house robbery

_Hey Sweets, _

_I get out of here in 8 months. Then I can hold you and be surrounded in your scent. Be ready baby cause I'm gonna fuck you like never before. I can't wait to see the way your eyes twinkle like the ocean by moonlight. I never thought I could care for someone so much. You will live on in my heart no matter where I am. My pen's running out of ink so I have to say bye. I love you baby. So much. _

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _

_Present time Santana's POV_

"Lopez visitor!"

Santana shuffles fast. She sees Brittany every two weeks. And it's been far too long. The door opens and she sees her love. Warmth spreads across her skin.

She gets cuffed to the table and they both just stare at each other for a while. Smiling from ear to ear, bringing sunlight to the jail.

Brittany moves to hold San's hand but remembers the no touching rule. She's just gonna come right out with it.

"San, the house was robbed."

Santana waves it off like it's nothing

"It's ok I have a stash of money in the green room."

Brittany puts her head down. She can't cry. She won't cry.

"Quinn checked. They took all that too. We have nothing. And we can't afford the utilities on your house."

San thinks for a moment. No way in hell will the people she love be thrown out onto the streets. This also means she won't have money for dope on the inside.

"Sell my car. S-sell my car."

Brittany doesn't want to do this but she has to for Santi to survive.

"Ok baby."

"Does this mean my dope supply is no more and you'll have to buy that Benzo shit?"

"Yea but I just want to make sure Santi is ok."

Santana smiles for the first time in a while. Brittany cares for her brother.

"I'm so in love with you. You have no idea. And kiss my sweet Camaro for me I'll miss her."

"let's play 21 questions." Brittany hope up and down excited.

Santana smiles at her charm and it makes her miss home even more.

"Ok Tana. Favorite toothpaste?"

"Crest. Sneakers, heels, or flip flops?"

Brittany ponders this for a second.

"Sneakers cuz you can hide shit in them."

They continue to play until it's time for Brittany to leave and the last memory Santana will have of her until they meet again is the sight of her back diminishing as she gets further away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Brittany POV

38,000 dollars for a 1969 Camaro SS. San called her Candy. I showed off my assets and got the guy to buy it for more than it's worth. Split amongst all seven of us we get 5500 a piece. San said she only needed 2 thousand and to split the rest between me and Santi.

That girl could be in the pits of hell and still send up something that would make my day just that much easier.

We have to live off 700 a month and the utilities and mortgage for this place far surpass that. What are we gonna do?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Quinn's POV

_Tana, _

_ I don't know how you do it. Everything is falling apart. We're losing the house. Benzo's shit is too expensive. I never truly felt like a junkie before now. I scour the ground for cig butts that are long enough to smoke. Hell I hang on the corner with Rachel and I even sang with her once._

_Am I losing it Tana. You're my sister. You would tell me right? Puck's closing off and he keeps disappearing in the middle of the night. Santi is good for now. He's strong and he can go to school anywhere with his baseball scholarship. He's just waiting for you. He wants to go to Cali and still believes in our dream. _

_Sweet, sweet Brittany. It seems like she lost her favorite toy. Looking through all the crevices only to never find it. She misses you so much. If true love never existed before than you two have invented it. _

_I keep her company at night when she's done her extra long shifts. She's getting rail thin though, and she doesn't dance anymore. _

_I miss you so much S. I feel like the same blood runs through us. I'm trying my best to hold it all together but I'm failing. How did you do it Tana? Tell me your secret. _

_Your sister, _

_Q_

I did the ultimate no, no. I started tricking for Artie. How did it come to this? We're selling the house tomorrow

_8 year old Quinn. _

_Quinn and her mother walk through the park. They have to deliver drugs to a Hell's Angel. Quinna carries the Cocaine. _

"_Hey Fabray got the goods?" _

_All of a sudden he pulls out a gun and points it at Quinn's mother. The older blonde throws her handgun to her eat year old and she points it at the man. _

"_You're a Fabray. Kill him!"_

_Quinn sees the soul release from his eyes as she pollutes the airwaves with a sickening bang. Blood now staining the grass. Blood of an old man. _

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Puck's POV

_Lesbro,_

_ I never thought I would miss your bitchiness and getting smacked in the head but I do. I need you San and I don't know what to do. I'm doing everything wrong and I don't know another way. Come back, please?_

_Puck_

Puck sits on his bed crying as they prepare to move all of their things to the house in Kenso. He feels like he failed. Maybe his parents were right he's a piece of shit. The man get's up to go his nightly shift. He never thought he would be gay for pay

_5 year old Puck._

_He stands on a stool doing the dishes because he's much too short. His parents are at the table eating and whatever is leftover goes to him. They rarely have leftovers. Suddenly he slips from the stool and crashes to the ground, breaking that plate in his hand in the process. _

_His Dad, Steve, comes pounding into the kitchen. _

"_What did you fuck up again boy." He raises his fist. "Don't make me knock your teeth down your throat._

_If he was a celebrity that would be Steve's catchphrase. _

"_I'm sorry. I-I s-slipped."_

_Steve chuckles rudely. "You stuttering stupid boy. You should have been a drip on your mother's thigh!"_

_Steve proceeds to take plate after plate and smash it on Puck until the child passes out. When he wakes up he's whipped while he cleans up the broken dishes._

How did it come to this? I guess flowers that's rise from mud never truly get cleansed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Brittany's POV

_Baby,_

_ I did something really stupid and I know you don't like it when I call myself that but this action qualifies as horrifically stupid. I wanna tell you in person. We're all crumbling. We sold the house and there's still three months left in your sentence. We're all broke. I love you San and I'm sorry I let it all fall to pieces. _

_But baby please hold me tight when you see me. Please never let go. I love you infinity. _

_Sweets_

I shot up. I really fucked up and I shot up and I cant stop doing it. I was all pissed about the house and mike was there shooting and he asked me if I wanted some. It was a rush. It was the drug equivalent of an orgasm. San's gonna be so mad at me. I'm so mad at me. Oh shit she's gonna kick mike's ass.

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_Fuck you Mom, _

_ I'm not going to send this because you're not even worth the paper it's written on. Did you know what you did to me? I'm cold on the inside. I have the blood of 6 people on my hands. All from protecting those I loved. Mom you didn't hear me scream when he was raping me. There's scars on my back from being whipped. I still see him everyday lingering on my own body. I smell him when I wake up. Now my house is gone along with my car. I sold those for my family too. _

_I'm doing a lot of tattooing in here. Rosa helped me make the gun. I inked myself a bit too. A huge Phoenix is on my back because I will rise from the ashes. I have Santi's initials on my ankle. My forearm is the philly skyline. But most importantly in tiny script on my neck it says Familia. That is who I live for and breathe for. Was it too much for you to do that same.?_

I can't get money so doing tats is helping me with my need for drugs. Sometimes they trade money and other times they trade the drugs. I've been doing meth, crack, dope, you name it. I need to be numb in here. This husky skinhead bitch keeps looking at me. If she wants to fight I'll give her a fight.

"Hey chica, you doing ok?" Rosa plops onto my bunk.

"Yea just really worried about everyone on the outside. I have no car and no house to go back to. I don't know what I'm going to do Ro Ro."

"Let the Latin Kings take care of you. I'm a queen. They listen to me. I'll have them set you up with money when you get out."

"Ro I don't want to owe anyone nothing."

"You've paid me with your friendship. I feel like I have a sister in you." She whispers in her thick accent.

A guard bangs his billy club against the bars.

"Hey Spics! Lopez you got a visitor."

"Fuckin ass hole" We mutter at the same time.

I walk to the visitors room thinking of Brittany's letter. I hope whatever she did isn't that bad. I walk in and the person I see before me is not Brittany.

She's frail and her eyes are dull. Her pale skin is sunken in and she looks like death paid her a visit.

I sit down and get chained to the table as usual. She doesn't look at me. She's ashamed of herself.

"San I-"

"No Britt. Just spit it out. What did you do?"

She slowly pulls her sleeves up and her arm looks like a mine field. Track marks litter her beautiful porcelain skin. I'm raging. Who the fuck gave her the needle?

"W-who gave it to you B?" I grip the table. "I know the first time you did it you didn't plan on it so who gave you the fucking needle!"

Brittany is shaking and crying. I'm so fuckin mad at her.

"I-I was really upset. And Mike saw me staring at it and he offered and, and oh god I'm so s-sorry T-tana." She's shaking, there's more. "I was upset cuz me and Q started trickin' for Artie."

If I didn't love her so much I would strangle her. The two things I told her never to do and she does it. I also want to hug her. She had to have been going through a major dilemma to have to resort to that.

"Santi was robbing stores, Puck's fuckin men, I just wanted to help and it all got to me and now I'm a shooter. San please don't hate me!"

I put my hand up as far as it can go seeing as it's chained to a table.

"I could never, EVER, hate you Brittany I want you to understand that. You run through my veins! But I am so scared for you baby. I've gone and fucked up and now everything has gone to shit."

"Baby Artie owns you and Quinn now. It's going to take getting far away to get out of that. Please be safe. It hurts to know those men are touching you and I can't even hold your hand."

"I love you San. Your new tats are hot."

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The yard. Everything is surrounded by a big dusty track. There's a basketball court in the middle and a workout area. Santana stands at the workout post while Rose lay on the bench press. There's a husky skinhead chick with choppy blonde hair staring over them.

It's a hot day. Santana unzips her jumpsuit and rolls it down to her hips. She knots the sleeves to keep it secure. The Latina hops on the pull up bar and her sports bra rides up a bit revealing the underside of her breasts. Since coming to jail she's gotten incredibly ripped. Sweat glistens all over her body and she wishes Brittany was there to take her all hot and sweaty.

She hangs on the bar upside down now and performs upside down crunches. From the corner of her eye she sees the blonde bitch confront Rose and the weight falls on her chest.

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Brittany just got done at headliner's she's tired and she just shot up. She misses San like a flower misses the sun in the winter. She gets off the bus and starts the 5 block hike to 4th and Indiana.

All of a sudden a crusty black Cadillac pulls onto the sidewalk and cuts her off, leaving her trapped.

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San drops down off of the pull up bar and charges the girl and pulling her off of Rosa. She has a shank. She stabbed Rosa in the leg. Santana is struggling with the large woman going hit for hit and trying to avoid the blade.

Santana slips and a sharp pain attacks her face.

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Two bodies jump out of the car. Brittany tries to run but they grab her and shove her in the backseat of the car. She fights some more as the car pulls away she can't see the figure in the backseat but something about this feels oddly familiar.

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Santana finds a rock and slams it into the larger woman's face. Now she has it out for the smaller girl. Rosa has now gotten up and jumps on the skinhead. Her friends take this as their signal to jump in. The white supremacists detain Rosa and kick her around.

The brooding woman pulls out a toothbrush with a razor blade attached to the tip. She lunges and slices Santana's neck deep. But the Latina will not give up.

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The car pulls into an alley way. The lights from the windows illuminate the mysterious figures face. Green eyes, dark skin. And that smell. Brittany knows that smell it has haunted her for years. Jermaine. Jermaine is in the fucking car.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" Brittany pulls at the door handle but it won't budge.

The black man chuckles. "Child locks. Pretty neat huh?"

"P-please don't hurt me! Please not again!" She's crying and shaking. That's when she sees it. That sick fucking smirk.

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San's getting hit after hit in on the woman's face. Her bare stomach is covered in blood and it pools at her wait where the rolled up jumpsuit lay. Everything is going fine until one of the other girls trips her and she tumbles to the ground smacking her head on the hard packed dirt.

The husky blonde jumps on top of her and punches her in the face causing one of the Latina's back molars to crack. In one swift movement the skinhead brings out the shank and stabs San straight in the gut.

"Fuckkkkk!" She yells in agony

"Die you fuckin Spic bitch!" she stabs over and over crimson is now the color of the ground.

She wants Britt. She needs her to help.

Rosa's off to the side trying to get out of the posse's hold.

"Nooo! Get off of her!"

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"I knew I'd find you Britty." He advances slowly as the girl tries to shrink into the corner of the car.

He suddenly gets violent and punches her in the face. He flips her over and rips her panties off from under her skirt.

"No! Somebody help!"

"I'm the Kensington Rapist Britt. No one saved them and no one's gonna save you especially. We have history don't we gorgeous." He bangs her head on the car door.

She wants San she needs her to help.

He pries her legs open with crazy strength and starts to caress her inner thighs.

"I know you like getting fucked in the ass so I'm gonna be nice and let you enjoy this."

He rubs his dick to get hard and thrusts into her ass with a dry dick. Pain shoots through Brittany's body and she cries and shakes.

"Stop! Stop! It hurts! Please!"

"I want it to hurt bitch!"

He continues to sodomize her and beat her until there is blood all over the place. The red trickles down her thighs. Jermaine snaps his fingers and the back door pops open. He throws a semi conscious Brittany on the ground. He then stuffs her panties in her mouth and shoots her.

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"Guards! Please help!" Rosa is punching people left and right to get to her friend.

The guards eventually pull the blonde bitch off of Santana and she lay lifeless in a pool of blood. It's the oddest thing she's feeling. Her whole life she has been in some sort of pain be it physical or mental. But as everything's slowly slipping away she feels nothing. Light as a feather she goes into the unknown.

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_THE END just kidding lol. Far from it. Wasn't that crazy? Let me know how you felt about the scene splitting with britt and san. And let me know what you like and give me some ideas I might be running low on those. Thanks guys!_


	25. Chapter 25

**Here's a small filler chapter for ya. Much cuteness involved.

_Must a cracked soul always be broken?_

_Will it ever heal?_

_Will things from past_

_Affect the present_

_I'm begging for the coins of life_

_Inside I am the peasant_

_Will it ever be enough?_

_Will I ever be happy?_

"_San Zagar's gonna kill you when he sees the penis you just drew." _

_Santana giggles and snaps her fingers and the painting turns into a sun. _

_Brittany is amazed what's going on?_

"_Tana how did you do that?"_

"_Well this is the magic garden isn't it?" She playfully looks around. "I accidentally went to the unmagic garden didn't I?"_

_Brittany laughs and playfully pushes her girlfriend. She feels different and cold. The blonde is scared now and Santana can sense it. _

"_I'm not really here babe. You're in a coma. You were strong and didn't die on me." _

"_I-."_

"_Shh it's ok let's just have fun."_

_Brittany looks around bewildered. She feels no pain, no cravings. She feels light and euphoric. Brittany wants to stay here forever. Santana looks over at her and as if she's reading her mind she says, "Don't get comfortable here or you won't wake up. You have to wake up Brittany."_

"_H-how are you even here San?"_

_San cocks her head to the side cutely and smiles at her girlfriend. _

"_I'm in you're head, I'm in your heart, we share a soul."_

_Brittany thinks that is the most beautiful thing she's ever heard. She likes this world but she has to go back so she can hold San and feel the warmth of her. _

_The girls have fun. They draw doors in the air and walk through them. Play on a see saw made of rainbows. _

"_I love you San."_

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Quinn's POV

The two most important people in my life are lifeless. I convinced the doctors to let them share a room. They look like robots with the amount of tubes and wires running out of them.

Santana has an air pump because the shiv pierced her lung and she can't breathe on her own. She's in such bad shape they had to bring her to the city. And still she's cuffed to the rail of the goddamn bed. She's not going anywhere! It's there damn fault she isn't going anywhere! If the guards were doing their jobs it wouldn't have gotten this bad. And she has to go back as soon as she's better. If she gets better.

I look over to my left. Brittany. How did she end up shot in an alley? Who could do something to someone so kind? They both look so small, especially Brittany. I walk over to hold her hand and see the track marks littering her arms. I knew she was doing it. I saw her creep into her room with the spoon.

I ghost my fingers over the gathering of red dots and feel anger bubble within me.

"How could you do this Britt? You're going to a deep place where I don't think San is going to follow you."

I hear a knock on the door and turn around to see Santos. He looks happy to see his sister finally but sad to see her half dead. He gives me a forced smile and walks over to Santana's bed.

The boy grabs his sister's hand and kisses her knuckles.

He shakes his head voice cracking. "Will it ever be over for her Q? Will she ever be happy?"

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"How much for a blow job?"

"50"

The man hands Puck the money and they walk into the abandoned crack house. He's forced to do this since no dealer would hire him because he was close with Lopez and the cops could be watching.

The man leans up against the wall and drops his pants.

"You better be good for 50 fuckin bucks."

The man whips out his dick from the hole in his boxers and shoves himself into Puck's mouth.

He tries not to throw up. He tries to keep the single tear from escaping his eye.

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Sam stands in a dark alley pockets stuffed with crack. He got on a guy names Face's team to work this block. It's al right money but Face is a dick and only gives him 6 percent of what he sells and crack is cheap.

A girl walks by limping and scratching her neck and Sam has one hand on his gun and the other in his pocket with the crack. He never knows which one he's going to pull.

"You got a 20 piece?"

Sam nods and hands it off to the girl. She yanks her pipe out of her pocket and smokes a rock right there. This is his life and he hates it. Tina, and Mike also work for face. Sam's now girlfriend, Sugar still works at Headliner's and he hates that too.

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It's been 3 whole months since Brittany saw sunlight and when she finally woke up everything came rushing to her. She couldn't speak of it. It hurt too much. Quinn was the first to ask, then the cops. When she looked over and saw Santana in a similar state she thought somehow he got to her too and she started bawling her eyes out.

"Someone shanked her in the yard B. The same night someone shot you."

Brittany stands up warily and moves to her girlfriend's bed with a quickness no to be possessed by someone who was in a come for 3 months.

She grips her hand and cries hysterically.

She refused to talk to anyone but she WILL talk to San even if she can't hear her. Brittany briefly wonders if San was in a weird world while under too. Then she sees how she's cuffed to the bed and gets even more upset.

The girl notices the scars now littering her lover's body. She ghosts her fingers over the scar on her face but doesn't mind it. She actually thinks it's sexy. Brittany looks at the thick white line on her neck and more tears come. Then she opens her gown a bit and see's all the stab wounds littering her amazingly ripped abs.

"Oh baby. I wanna kill that bitch! Please wake up for me. Please? I need to tell you something babe. It hurts and I need to tell you about it." She leans over Santana and cries.

Brittany then notices a new tattoo on the Latina's wrist. It's an infinity symbol but running through the lines of the figue 8 pattern is the word love. She sends out a tearful smile and remembers a better time.

_The girls hopped a fence and are now squeezing between the metal doors of an abandoned building. Brittany decided to do something spontaneous today and Santana agreed as always and this is how they ended up in an abandoned warehouse in North Philly. _

_Santana hikes her back pack onto her shoulder as they climb the stairs. After what seems like years the girls make it onto the roof. The hold hands and take in the view of the city below smiling from ear to ear. _

_Santana releases her hand and takes a knee before unzipping her bag and pulling out spray paint. _

"_What are you doing babe?"_

_Santana smiles mischievously. "You'll see." _

_She takes the spray paint and goes to work. Swirling and manipulating the paint with ease. Once she's done she calls her girl over and she gasps at what she sees. _

_On the floor of the roof there is a silhouette of two girls holding hands. Their backs are towards the viewer and one in taller than the other. There's a city skyline in the background and underneath the girls' feet are words. _

_S and B._

_I love you infinity. _

_Brittany looks over at her perfect, strong, sexy girlfriend and smiles. _

"_Why infinity San?"_

_The brunette walks over to her blonde and pulls her close. _

"_Because it's longer than forever."_

_She kisses Santana deeply. When she's cute she knocks it out of the park. _

"_Good cuz I want infinity with you." Britt Whispers. _

_All of a sudden they hear the roof door open and a cop appear. _

"_Hey get down now!"_

_They both look at each other and nod before throwing a couple cans of spray paint at the cop and running towards the fire escape. _

_Britt's pushing San to go faster as the cop gains on them. _

"_Come on Tana he's getting close!"_

"_I have short legs!" _

_San grabs more paint cans out of her bag and chucks them behind her and Britt causing the cop to trip and stumble down the steps. _

"_Ughh fuck!" _

_The girls laugh at he curses them but they keep running. As soon as they reach the bottom rung of the fire escape ladder they drop and hit the ground running. The two spot a corner store and quickly duck inside to avoid the officer. They're both breathe heavy and laugh as the cop runs passed the store._

_Now that they know they are safe the two of them burst into a fit of laughter and have to hold their stomachs from the cramps they have. _

_Brittany recovers first and wraps her arms around Santana's waist and kisses her before uttering. "I love you infinity."_

Brittany smiles at the memory and leans down to kiss Santana's dry lips.

"I love you infinity."


	26. Chapter 26

***Sorry for the mistakes last chapter I didn't have time to proof read my bad. Anyway read review and grab some tissues now lol

Brittany tried to make new complaints everyday to be able to stay in the room with Santana but eventually they literally threw her out of the hospital. Since San's an inmate she's not really supposed to have visitors let alone a roommate.

She's paranoid. She carries one of Santana's switch blades everywhere she goes. He's out there and can come get her at any moment. Brittany never thought she had to feel this way again. Afraid to breathe.

The blonde has worked double shifts day and night to try and pay for her hospital bills and increasingly expensive drug habit.

She comes home and Quinn is on the couch. She goes over to sit next to her and pulls out her drug kit. Brittany sets everything up and when the needle is ready she injects it and relishes in the rush.

Quinn's had enough of this bullshit. She jerks Brittany awake.

"What?" she snaps.

Quinn scoffs at her. "Would San agree with that? Would she want to wake up to a skeleton?" Quinn is seething. "You're not Brittany anymore. You're shine is gone and I know a lot of us lost ourselves but it breaks my heart to see you with track marks!"

Quinn thinks of her sister and how it must break her heart to see her girlfriend like this.

"Doing dope at all isn't good. I know cuz we all do it. But shooting doubles the shittyness of it. Tana's so hurt you're doing this. She's so scared. She's done so much for you and this is how you repay her! She killed for you and I'm sure when she finds out what that fucker did, she's going to kill him too."

Britt bows her head in shame. "I wanna kill him…"

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Santana woke up to an empty room in a hospital. When she tried to move off the bed she was restricted by wires and handcuffs. She doesn't know how long it's been but she was hoping she slept through her sentence. She'd never get that lucky.

When a nurse sees she is awake she smiles sadly and alerts the guards from the prison that kept watch outside her door to make sure she didn't run away. It's weird that she doesn't have any withdrawal pain. She thinks she must've been out for at least a week for all the heroin to get through her system.

San spends a couple more days in the hospital. She made sure the hospital called her emergency contact, Quinn, to let her know she's awake.

It's a daunting emotion she feels when the gates to the prison close behind her again. She wants to find that bitch and kill her but now that she only has a month left to her sentence she wants to lay low.

They lead her through the jail and no one hoots and hollers at her this time. Instead they all bow their heads in respect.

She's surprised but just shrugs at this. She's also shocked she still has her same cell. As Santana walks in Rosa rises from the bed and hugs her even before the guards had time to release her cuffs.

"You saved my life camarada. The Latin Kings are forever in your debt."

"Well shit I should get stabbed more often if I get this type of welcome." San jokes.

"Was the bitch who stabbed me in the hole for a while?"

Rosa smirks a devilish smirk she's never sported before.

"She's in a hole alright. 6 feet in the ground."

Santana's shocked. Did she kill her during the fight? Oh my god not another one.

"Gloria put a hit out on her. Oh and she gave me this to give to you." Rosa hands her a bundle.

She begins doing lines trying to contemplate what the hell she just heard.

"She's trying to make up for it San. She couldn't have known – ."

Santana cuts her off. "There is no fucking way to make up for what she did!"

Rosa nods her head because she knows her friend is right so she changes the subject. "So one more month ay?"

"Yea and then I get to hold my Britt Britt."

Rosa gets sad that she can't leave.

"I'm gonna miss you camarada. Gimme 3 years and we can be on the beach together."

"I'm gonna miss you too Ro."

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Brittany walks into the jail nervous as hell. She knows San's gonna flip shit when she tells her and what's even worse is she can't do anything about it.

Brittany walks into the visitor's room and sits down to wait for her girlfriend. Oddly enough she feels safe inside this jail. He can't get to her here. She turns when she hears the familiar sound of chains clinking together. Santana's smile drops when she sees the state of her girlfriend.

She's rail thin and paler than usual. She doesn't look anything like the girl Santana fell in love with and it breaks her heart. Brittany sees the concern in her girls face and Quinn's words ring through her head. Maybe she doesn't want her anymore?

Santana sits down and they chain her to the table.

"Hey babe. What's going on huh?" San talks to her sweetly.

Brittany immediately crumbles into a mess of tears. Santana goes to touch her but the chains restrict her movement. She wants to make it better so bad, whatever it is.

"Tell me what it is Britt I promise I won't be mad. Ok babe?"

Brittany sniffles and lifts her head to look at Santana. She's completely broken and looks even more lifeless than when she was in the hospital.

"San… he. He came back for me. And…and he trapped me in the car…"

Brittany continues her story and tells Santana how she was shot and in a coma next to her.

The Latina is seething. She can't believe that fucker.

Brittany starts shaking violently and hyperventilating as she sobs.

Santana yanks at her chains and yells. "Let me hold her god damnit!" She keeps yanking on the chains as Brittany is being held down by a guard to keep her from going to Santana.

"Something really bad happened to her please!" Her voice cracks with emotion. Now she's crying a mix of angry and sad tears. Her girlfriend needs her and she's a foot away and can't do anything about it.

"She fucking needs me can't you see that?"

The guards come over and unchain her to bring her back to her cell because of bad behavior.

She breaks free before they have the chance to drag her out of the room. She runs towards Brittany and lifts her cuffed hands over the blonde's head so she can hold her. Brittany feels instantly better finally being able to hug her girlfriend. Santana kisses her as deep as she can with the little time she has.

The guards are pulling at her but she's still fighting against them as they grab her by the waist.

"It's gonna be ok B. I'm gonna fix it baby girl. I love you!"

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Santana gets back to her cell and she's so distraught she does all the heroin Gloria gave her. Rosa comes into the cell and sees her friend in a state and puts her hand on her shoulder. Santana jumps from the contact not realizing anyone came into the cell.

She wipes the tears from her eyes and puts on her normal cold mask. She looks up at Rosa with a sense of desperation.

"I think I'd like to call in that favor now."


	27. Chapter 27

_Relieve me of this_

_Brand on my skin_

_I'm done with it_

_Take the weights_

_Off my back_

_Let me stand tall again_

_Don't make me feel_

_Small again_

_What gives me heaven_

_Makes me live in this hell_

_A self-inflicted prison_

_But the powder means well_

Santana's POV

Fuckin jail. I am so sick of seeing these bitches. I'm not wearing orange for the rest of my life. Worst color ever now. And as I walk to the mess hall with Ro I'm reminded how much I hate this shit when Gloria eyes me and sits at my table.

I get my food and sit down. This should be good. I should gather a crowd. She's lucky I get out soon or I'd make her face meet my lunch tray again.

I look at her. Speak the fuck up bitch I know you don't wanna just have a wonderful meal of shit stew with me.

"I'm sorry."

I look around as if to say did everyone just hear that. This bitch.

"For dropping me on a doorstep or not having an abortion?"

I lean up to her. "Like, am I Hercules secretly? Cause his situation is the only way I can reason getting left somewhere scary."

She looks down. Exactly bitch. Exactly.

"Your father owed some very bad people money. I was trying to save you from that life and couldn't do it through the state or they would have killed you."

I scoff. "Unless you were being hunted by Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you should've at least tried. And then if you failed maybe I could have been raised my Brangelina. They need a Puerto Rican."

"They killed him. Right after Santos was born. That's why I dropped him off there too." She shakes her head. "I should have checked who lived there. I'm so, so sorry."

Then she pushes a roll across the table towards me. What the hell is this a jailhouse peace offering that I haven't heard about?

"A fucking piece of bread is supposed to make me feel better?"

Gloria shakes her head. This old bitch is like a riddle.

"It's what is in the roll. Don't open it here.

I nod and take the roll back to my cell. This crazy bitch.

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A black man with green eyes walks down the street. He feels like someone is watching him but he ignores it and goes into the strip club.

There is a leggy blonde dancing on the stage. She's sparkling but it's easy to tell it's only halfway. The blonde sees the green eyed man and she freezes and runs off.

A Hispanic man stops her from leaving out of the back door. She stops struggling once her girlfriend is mentioned.

"Shh it's ok. I'm Mateo. I was sent here to protect you from that man. Your girlfriend saved our Rosa's life and in turn we owe her ours."

The blonde thinks her girlfriend can't get any hotter right now. Having the Latin kings owe her a favor.

"Are you gonna kill him?"

"I don't know I was told to keep track of him and protect you if he gets too close."

She nods. "Good cuz I wanna do it."

Mateo calls his friend Rico to keep track of Jermaine while he takes Brittany home.

She's so thankful Santana is the greatest woman in the world. She could have asked the kings for anything, but she asked them to protect her. Brittany owes it to her to get her shit together.

Mateo sits outside her bedroom door that night with a gun in his hand. He figured Brittany deserves a good night sleep of not worrying about that man.

Inside the room Brittany decides to shoot up for the very last time.

Quinn comes up the steps in shock that someone's there and she swings at him. He fortunately blocks the punch in time.

"Easy there chica. I've been sent here by Santana to protect Miss Brittany." He says in his thick accent.

Quinn smirks. Only Santana would be able to pull some boss shit like that.

She eyes him up and down. She thinks he's cute.

Quinn hold her hand out to shake his. "Quinn."

Instead of shaking her hand he flips it over and kisses it.

"Mateo." He looks up at her with his slicked back hair and warm brown eyes. He has a bunch of tattoos and dons a leather jacket and jeans with a white ribbed tank top.

She just nods with a smile and opens the door to her room. She turns around before she closes it behind her. "Goodnight."

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Santana's POV

I go back to my cell and I thank whoever's enjoying watching up there, that Rosa isn't in here. Cuz who knows what could be in here? Like her fuckin kidney or something as an apology.

I decide to rip the roll open and…score a bundle of shit dope because it's not mine. I don't want to be cocky, but my H is the best. It's a fact. Anyway, past the dope is two pictures.

Two of those newborn pictures they take at the hospital right after they're all cleaned up.

On the back are mine and Santos' names.

It makes me smile to see Santos just as he was born.

But when I see myself it seems more like a snapshot before my life was changed forever.

But regardless it's good to have Santi's picture. We don't have many and they're all from after kindergarten when the school made us take pictures. Some have slipped through the cracks at foster homes and police stations, among other things.

I'm gonna stuff my own roll tomorrow. Give her something so she leaves me the fuck alone for the rest of my stay here.

I remember the dope and decide to use my baby picture to snort it. For some reason I don't like looking at this photo. It does something to me. It reminds me of that time, that this is what I looked like laying in a box crying. Being delivered to a pedophile.

Rosa comes in and she pats me on the back when she eyes my snorting tool.

"The man with the green eyes followed your girl last night. She saw him and freaked out. But Mateo took her home." She sits down on her bunk. "Oh and he wants to ask is it's cool to take your sister on a date?"

I laugh. Quinn gets it in, always. But Jermaine shouldn't still be following Brittany, he shouldn't be walking at all.

"He can take her on a date if she says yes. But he better treat her like a lady." We laugh. Quinn will without a doubt fuck this guy.

Her and Puck stopped dating when he started suckin' dick. I mean not even Q sucks dick for money. Brittany does but that's besides the point. She's done it before, and Puck is real low to be suckin' cocks for money.

"I'm gonna miss you Santana."

"Yea. You too Rosa. I'll miss you too."

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Brittany wakes up in the morning and Quinn's words play in her head over and over like a fly buzzing in her ear.

She huff and pulls out her drug kit and takes all the needles out.

She puts them in a small grocery bag and throws them outside.

Britt snorts instead for the second time since she started shooting up months ago.

It doesn't quite hit the spot. It's like eating spaghetti without the sauce and you've had it with sauce before so you know it's better, but the sauce is bad for you. It makes the effect of the pasta worse.

All vanilla ice cream when you've had chocolate before and like it more.

Good sex opposed to mind blowing sex.

Mateo comes over to pick up Quinn for their date and he looks fly on his black Harley. He's wearing jeans and a leather jacket again.

They smile at each other and she gets on without question. Mateo drives them down the Pat's to get cheese steaks and then they climb to the roof of and abandoned building to eat and look over the city.

Half way through each of their sandwiches they look at each other with fuck me eyes and tossed them aside. The two start going at it furiously until Quinn pulls back.

"Wait. I think we should wait and do it right."

He looks at her let down. "Uh if that's what you want."

She bursts out laughing. "I'm just messing with you. I just don't wanna fuck here. I wanna fuck in a bed."

"Is that so? Well I happened to have one of these things you call a bed. Is that what you call it?"

She laughs. "Well you can show me it and I'll let you know if we're on the same page."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Santana's POV

I go into the mess hall with my own damn roll now. I'm not being mean I actually put something nice in there.

I sit across from her and hand her the roll. "It's a picture of Santos. Everyone calls him Santi, but only me Quinn and Britt can call him Ti." I lean closer to her. "He is my heart and soul. And I hope you regret everyday leaving such a beautiful person on a cold porch."

"Oh and thanks for killing that bitch that shanked me. I could've done it myself. That seems to be a thing I do."

I get up and go because I know I'm getting the best visitor ever today.

I got into the visiting room with a huge smile when I see those blue eyes twinkle my way. She's everything I ever thought my soul mate to be and more. If I were told to make my perfect woman she still wouldn't be my Brittany.

"Two more weeks." She says bouncing up and down on her seat.

I smile at my girl. "Two more weeks."

"I can't wait to hold you and kiss you- ."

"And fuck. Ughh my pussy misses you San, and I'll let the world know it."

I raise up my cuffed hands to stop her while stifling a laugh.

"Please don't babe."

"You know I would too." She giggles.

I notice the life coming back to her and the scabbed over marks on her skin. "You look a lot better sweets."

Brittany smiles and runs her fingers over her healed track marks.

"Yeah, Q knocked some sense into me."

I get angry. I know how Quinn knocks sense into me. She literally hits me.

"She hit you?"

Brittany's laughing. What the hell is so funny?

"No, she doesn't need to literally hit me to knock sense into me. You're just thick headed as hell."

She's right. "Ughh. I love you. At least I learned how to tattoo in here."

"When you get out can you tat a giraffe up my side?"

She's so awesome. "I'll think about it."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

Quinn wakes up to Mateo kissing her neck and she smiles. She doesn't know if he fucks with dope so she rushes home before she starts getting sick. She has to remember to ask Rosa if he parties.


	28. Chapter 28

_I scrubbed my skin of you_

_But yet you still returned _

_I've bled for you_

_But your essence still burned_

_I feel you in every shakey breath_

_Every movement of my body _

_I see you behind my eyes_

_As I'm slowly rotting _

Santana's POV

As I pack my stuff in a duffle bag to get the fuck out of this shit hole I see Rosa's sad look across the cell. I wish she could come with me.

"I'm gonna miss you San."

"I'll miss you too Ro. But I promise to visit and write. And the next thing you know you'll be able to be a bitch outside of a cell."

"Fuck you." Rosa laughs while playfully punching me in the arm.

"Speaking of fucking. Thanks for protecting my girl on the outside."

"Like I said we owe you for a lifetime. You saved my life."

I guess I did something right for once. Ya know, saving a Latin Queen and all.

Before I can make another rude comment a guard comes to bring me to the warden. I hate that bitch.

I step up to Rosa and hug her. She's been my light in here for these past two years and has become a truly amazing friend to me.

"Good luck out there camarada."

I nod and restrain myself from punching the she guard in the face when she yanks me roughly out of the cell. I can't wait to get out of here.

They sit me down in front of Warden Sylvester and I wanna hit her too. Damn I'm angry.

"Prisoner 30327. Do you believe you have changed during your stay?"

"Yes." I answer simply. I learned what happens when you get on her bad side last time I was in here.

"Have you sufficiently learned your lesson?" She asks while signing some papers.

I wish this bitch would just hurry the fuck up I'm starting to withdrawal. I didn't do a line before I came because I know this bitch would see my pinned pupils and send me right back to my cell.

"Yes Ma'am." I answer obediently.

The warden nods and I'm uncuffed and allowed to change into normal clothes. I had Quinn send me some and a normal damn bra. I've never been so excited to put on a bra in my life.

When that gate closes behind me and I'm finally outside the walls of that horrible place I feel like a bird that got her wings back. Then I see my beautiful blonde sitting on the hood of a rusty truck and I just want to fly away with her.

She runs up to me and I drop my bag. I open my arms to her and as she crashes into me I spin her around while I kiss her like it will be the last time.

I haven't touched her like this in 2 years. 2 whole fucking years without my skin lighting up at the end of her fingertips.

I put her down and stare into her eyes. "Hey baby."

"Hey."

I look at the truck she arrived in funny because I hope she didn't steal it but she tells me she borrowed it from Ty. Good, no more jail.

"Let's go home." Brittany whispers in my ear.

Those three simple words sound like poetry to me.

We get into the truck and she hands me a bag of dope. This girl knows me far too well.

"I should've just quit when I woke up in the hospital drug free. At least I didn't have to deal with withdraw while I was knocked the fuck out."

Brittany gives me a tight smile. I know it's against the rules to talk about getting clean but after spending 2 years in that shit hole I want to live my life fully.

She takes me home and it's amazing how shitty everything got while I was gone. I see Puck rail thin and in mussed clothes and I really feel for him. No one should ever have to suck dick for money.

I then see my brother and Quinn kept him healthy. I hug him tight and then slap him in the back of the head.

"No more robbing shit. You hear me?"

He nods and I smile up at him. He's a high school graduate now. He looks like a man and it's crazy.

"Well, I smell like jail so I'm gonna go shower with only one other woman for once."

I smile at Brittany and she just about runs up the steps.

She immediately pushes me against the bathroom wall and starts ripping my clothes off. I've never been so turned on before. I go to turn the shower on while she undresses and I feel her warmth press into me from behind.

"I missed you so much Tana." She says with tears in her eyes.

"I missed you too Sweets. But I'm all yours now."

She pushes me in the shower and I was off before she can touch anymore of me because I feel gross.

The hot water feels amazing on my skin. It feels so good to shower and not be afraid of someone trying to stab me.

I feel light kisses and nips on my shoulder and I turn around. In a swift move Brittany drops to her knees and goes for my pussy like it's her last meal.

It feels so damn good. I haven't had sex in two years and fucking myself just doesn't compare.

"Fuck Britt." I moan.

She licks and sucks at my clit and it's embarrassing how fast I come.

"Your turn." I say with a smirk and I press her against the opposite wall where the water is flowing down.

She smiles as I lift one of her legs around my waist. I suck on her nipples for a bit before I plunge two fingers into my sexy girlfriend.

Her moans are like music. She digs her nails into my back and I love it so I go faster and faster.

"Fuck I missed you San."

I add to it by placing my thumb over her clit and biting down on her neck and as my palm slams against her wet pussy I can feel her getting closer.

"Cum for me baby." I whisper and a moment later she does just that while screaming my name.

I love this woman.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

After my amazing shower I decide to visit the man that's been protecting my girl this whole time.

Quinn must have a thing for Latino's because he is a straight up chico.

I find out that Jermaine was the one who robbed my fucking house because he thought it was all of B's things. I'm gonna fuck this dude up. Thankfully Mateo has a man on the inside.

"So you're the one that fucked my sister?"

"Ummm."

"It's cool just don't fuck with her head. And thanks for watching my girl while I was locked up."

He pats my shoulder. "We owe you. Rosa is one of the top in the Kings."

I smile he's a good man. "Well let's make a plan to get this fucker back."

Next I go to visit my main man Ty. I missed him so much.

"Here's your truck you sweet chocolate man you."

He turns around and scoops me up in a hug. If I didn't like this guy so much I'd kick him in the balls.

"Keep the truck and take this money. I wanna help you get back on your feet ma. You've done so much for me." Ty reasons.

"But…"

"Shut up and let me help. I think I have an idea."

"Ty, you think?" I fake gasp.

"Fuck you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

I decide to make dinner with the money I just gained and go shopping for food. I'm gonna make Santi's favorite pork chops and Britt's favorite, scalloped potatoes.

I missed them so much it's crazy. I missed messing with Quinn and Puck. And I missed watching my brother grow up and having catches with him. Some minor league team scouted him and I wasn't even there for that.

We all sit down in the living room, all 9 of us. We're all spread out everywhere since they sold basically all the furniture except for the couch and makeshift coffee table.

I feel so bad. I should've helped them somehow but I was enclosed in an orange sea with bars.

"Puck you can stop suckin' dick for money now."

He stands up. "You know what? Fuck you Santana. That's none of your business."

"It is if you're hitting the same blunt as me." I chuckle.

Everyone laughs and the conversation is dropped.

"Oh and Santi? If you rob another store I will personally beat the shit outta you. Whay is Quinn the only one that kept her shit together while I was gone?"

Puck scoffs. "Yea, if trickin' for Artie counts as keeping her shit together."

Before anyone can comment there is a knock at the door. And Quinn, eager to exit the conversation, jumps to answer it.

"Hi Teo." She swoons.

What the fuck? Since when did Q turn into such a girl?

"Hey Quinn. I have to talk to Miss Santana for a minute."

I walk over. "Wow I feel special. What's up?"

"Our man on the inside who's befriended Jermaine informed me her plans to come for her and knows you all live here. I've brought you all guns to protect yourselves."

He hands over a heavy duffle bag and I sort through all the metal.

I pull out the silver Colt 45 and slap a clip inside like a seasoned pro.

Everyone is staring at me smiling. What the fuck?

"What?"

"I didn't think it was possible but jail made you even more badass." Quinn wipes a tear away. "I missed you so much Tana."

I smile and tuck the gun into the waistband of my jeans. I missed her too.

"So fuckin hot." Brittany mumbles.

I love that girl.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

No ones POV

Mateo agreed to guard the house while all 9 of the rag tag family goes to the woods outside the city to learn how to shoot.

Santana presses against Brittany while instructing her to shoot, effectively causing her aim to be a bit messed up.

Quinn, Puck, and Santi already know how to shoot so they help with the others.

Before leaving Santana drew up a bunch of targets that resembled the dark man with green eyes.

All of a sudden there's a bang followed by "Fuck!"

Everyone turns to see Sugar holding her eye. She underestimated the recoil on her 9mm.

"Come here Sugs." Santana coos. She's always had a soft spot for the girl.

She hugs her and teaches her the right way to shoot and is a much better teacher than Puck.

Santana decides to shoot a target for practice and lays all 8 bullets from her clip into the forehead of the target.

"God she's so hot." Brittany mumbles again.

By the time night comes and the late summer air falls chills everyone is pretty good at shooting.

After the shooting practice they all go back to the house and Brittany drags Santana to the basement.

Amongst the cement walls and hot water heater lay all of Santana's art work and her guitar.

"I saved it for when you got back."

"Baby, I don't know what to say…I love you so much." Santana says in awe.

Brittany kisses her slowly. "I love you too. Now sing for me. I missed you voice so much San.

The Latina picks up the guitar and sits on the cement floor of the cold basement.

"Any requests?"

"Something from your heart." The blonde smiles.

The chords start for the song and Brittany begins to dance.

_You said I'm stubborn and I never give in_

_I think you're stubborn 'cept you're always softening_

_You say I'm selfish, I agree with you on that_

_I think you're giving out way too much in fact_

_I say we've only known each other a year_

_You say I've known you longer my dear_

_You like to be so close, I like to be alone_

_I like to sit on chairs and you prefer the floor_

_Walking with each other, think we'll never match at all, but we do_

_But we do, but we do, but we do_

_I thought I knew myself, somehow you know me more_

_I've never known this, never before_

_You're the first to make out whenever we argue_

_I don't know who I'd be if I didn't know you_

_You're so provocative, I'm so conservative_

_You're so adventurous, I'm so very cautious, combining_

_You'd think we wouldn't, we do, but we do, but we do, but we do_

_Favouritism ain't my thing but,_

_In this situation I'll be glad..._

_Favouritism ain't my thing but, in this situation I'll be glad to make an exception_

_You said I'm stubborn and I never give in_

_I think you're stubborn 'cept you're always softening_

_You say I'm selfish, I agree with you on that_

_I think you're giving out way too much in fact_

_I say we've only known each other a year_

_You say I've known you longer my dear_

_You like to be so close, I like to be alone_

_I like to sit on chairs and you prefer the floor_

_Walking with each other, think we'll never match at all, but we do_

The song ends and Santana holds the last note while Brittany spins and jumps letting the chords of the guitar take over her.

The girls kiss and then join each other upstairs to sleep along side one another for the first time in two years.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

The next night Quinn, San, and Brittany party far too hard and shit gets out of hand.

They end up in a crack house somewhere in Kenso with a dead body and a crying baby in the same room.

As Santana's sitting there with a dipping off Brittany on her lap and a comatose Quinn, she feels bad for the baby.

She's been that child crying in a crib with a dirty diaper on. No child should ever have to endure something like this.

Santana gets up slowly and leans Quinn and Brittany together so they're comfortable.

If they were awake she would not be showing how she has a soft spot for kids.

Santana leans over the crib and grabs what looks to be a little 3 month old girl, out of her lonely cage.

"Hey cutie. What's wrong huh?" She whispers to the baby.

Santana thinks the baby is absolutely adorable and can't help the smile that comes to her face when the child giggles while she's singing a song to her.

Brittany is awake by now and finds the scene completely adorable. She knows Santana is going to make a great mom someday and she wants to be there as the other mom of little brown eyed babies.

In another part of the house the mother of the child looks on with a smile. She's a crack fiend and can barely feed her kid let alone make her laugh like the Latina just did.

Santana reluctantly places the baby back in her crib after changing her dirty diaper. She doesn't want to leave her but knows she has no business taking a child on with all her responsibilities.

She bends over the dead body and feels the cold skin for a pulse just to make sure. He's definitely dead.

Santana and the two blondes leave after that and take a bus back to their place. When they get back they see a man trying to pick the lock to their home.

Santana walks behind him quietly and slams his face against the door.

She grabs her gun out of her pants and presses it to the back of his head. "Are you fucking stupid or just plain brainless?"

She slams his head against the door one more time. "Well you wanted to come in so bad let's go."

"Wait!" Brittany yells before kicking him square in the balls.

Santana smiles at her girlfriend. She loves it when she takes control.

Quinn clears out the basement of all the art and things while Santana holds Jermaine at gun point in the living room. She smokes a blunt and ashes on him every now and then.

Brittany looks uneasy but she knows she's safe as long as Santana is here.

Santana searched his pockets and found a bunch of girl's photos and some extremely young. She's sickened by this fucker. Santana also takes his cell phone and his wallet, which had 300 dollars in it.

Quinn's finally done with the clearing out and Santana goes to drag him down the basement but Brittany interjects again.

She kicks him hard in front of the doorway to the basement and the man goes flying down the stairs.

"Let's see how you like being tossed into hell." Brittany sneers before closing and locking the door from the outside.


	29. Chapter 29

Guest: I see what you're saying about San baggin on Puck for giving blowjobs. She was half kidding about the blunt comment. She's just upset he had to go to those lengths because she got locked up and made him lose his income. It's more of a shock than britt and quinn turning tricks b/c they've done it before and Santana doesn't rag on them because she was a prostitute at one time too. Does that make any sense? I totally get what you're saying though it did seem like a double standard, it's just shocking when a straight guy who's never done that before is sucking dick in alleys and she's projecting her feelings of failing them onto him in true Santana fashion.

XX this chapter will be incredibly disturbing. Just a warning.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

_Revenge is sweet_

_With you upon my feet_

_I will cast you_

_Into the mould_

_You made of me_

_So you can see_

_How it feels_

_How it hurts_

_Emotions on high alert _

Jermaine lay chained to a pipe in the basement while Brittany sits in front of him and spreads out all the pictures of the girls he had in his pocket.

She gasps as one picture looks incredibly familiar. It's her sister.

"Please tell me you didn't kill her." Brittany says are her voice cracks with emotion.

Jermaine smirks. "I killed all of them."

"You mother fucker!" Brittany screams as she charges towards him and punches him in the jaw before stomping on his nuts.

"You ruined my life too. Why don't you have a picture of me?"

"I'm the Kensington rapist and I only keep pictures of the ones I killed." He smiles. "You're the one that got away."

Brittany pushes a button to something in her pocket and then proceeds to hit him for what must be the hundredth time.

"Why couldn't you just kill me! Huh?" Brittany screams hysterical.

"I tried I guess a slut like you isn't wanted in heaven or hell so they sent you back." He snickers.

Santana comes barreling down from her place on the steps where she was watching this all go down and kicks him in the face with her hard boot.

"Watch it! Or I'll make sure you never fuckin talk again!"

She reaches into her back pocked and pulls out a gun looking object. She presses the trigger and wires fly out towards him and an electric shock goes through the man's body before he falls limp.

"Man how come I pissed myself when I got tazed and he didn't?" Santana pouts.

Behind her Karofsky makes his way down the steps. He hugs Britt tightly before helping Santana drill bolts into the wall and chaining Jermaine to it while he's on his stomach.

When they're done Santana pours a bottle of water over him to wake him up. "Rise and shine. I have a friend I'd like you to meet."

"This is the guy that hurt Britt?" Dave questions.

The two girls nod and he kicks Jermaine in the ribs hard.

He rips the man's pants off and then follows with his own. Dave rubs his dick through his boxers before spitting on his hand and rubbing it.

"Let's see how you like it." Dave says before laying down and ramming his dick inside of the man.

Jermaine cries out as Santana and Brittany watch from the side.

"Just a preview of what you'll be getting in jail you fuck." Brittany spits at him.

Santana's never seen her like this. She's never seen such venom come out of the normally cheery girl.

They leave Karofsky to do his thing and the man comes up periodically before going back down to continue his assault. He loves Brittany like a sister and can't believe someone would hurt such a kind person like her. It's like ripping the petals off of a flower slowly and painfully.

Dave goes back downstairs and thrusts himself into the man once more.

"How does it feel to be on the other end huh?" Dave grunts as he buries himself deep into Jermaine.

The darker man screams in pain and begins to beg. "Please, I'll do anything just stop!"

Dave laughs. "Did you stop when Brittany and all those other girls asked?"

He punches the man in the face while he thrusts deeper. Brittany makes her way down the stairs and hands Dave a large dildo to insert into the man. Once it's in halfway Brittany nods.

"Move." Is all she says. There's a menacing look on her face and it's honestly a bit scary even to big ass Karofsky.

She draws her foot back and kicks the dildo in further into his ass as he screams. Brittany kicks over and over while shouting at the man.

"Sodomy isn't so fun for you now is it? You mother fucker!"

She kicks it in hard this time. "That's for killing my parents and Casey!"

She draws back three more times. "And that's for my sister!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

They let him rot in the basement for a week before they decide what to do with him.

Everyone thinks Santana is going to kill him but she believes he doesn't deserve the peace death would bring.

Collectively the girls decide to tie him to a telephone pole near the police station.

Brittany places a bag over his head roughly and Puck and Karofsky carry the man upstairs. The group borrowed a van from Ty again to transport his sleezy ass to the station.

Puck and Dave help with carrying the big man as they wear masks and dark clothes. They plant drugs on him and the tape recorder Brittany had on her while she was talking to him that has the man admitting to the crimes he committed along with the pictures of all the girls he kept. The youngest looked to be around 13.

Before they all leave Brittany kneels down to the ground and talks to the man while he's tied to the pole.

"I hope you think about me every time you get raped in the showers you bastard."

Santana kicks him in the balls for good measure and takes Brittany away from the man. They drive for about a mile before Santana gets out and calls 911 on a pay phone.

"Oh my god there's a man tied to a telephone pole on Broad street. He has a sign on him that says rapist. I'm so scared officers please come quick." She says in a voice that's not her own and gets back in the van to hug her extremely happy girlfriend.

xxxx

"_A man was found last night tied to a pole on the 1500 block of Broad last night. Police say he has admitted on a tape recorder to the rape and killings of over ten girls in Kensington. He is believed to be the Kensington rapist. Coming up next…"_

Brittany runs and hugs Santana kissing her all over her face. A light shines in her blue eyes that's never been there before. She feels safe but she's also mourning her sister. Britt wished one day that she would meet her again and now that she knows she won't it's like a stab to her heart.

Santana leaves to return the van to Ty and has an idea.

She wants him to fund her lab until she can pay him back from the sales she makes while giving him a cut.

Of course he agrees with the prospect of having the best dope on the street again and Santana calls Holly up to get a copy of the formulas she left behind.

As she sits down there for a straight 24 hours snorting coke she bought with the money Ty gave her Brittany looks on with a worried expression wondering if she will lose the love of her life again to jail cells and legal fees.


	30. Chapter 30

_You are the light that peeked through the cracks_

_The backup on the computer when it crashed_

_You lift me when it seems I'm fused to below_

_How do you do it babe?_

_Will I ever know?_

_You make me warm_

_Even surrounded by ice_

_The flame that burns in your eyes for me_

_Ignites the gunpowder within_

_There's so many things I love about you_

_But where to begin?_

Santana's been working hard on new batches and has started to finally make money after she paid Ty back. She figures they'll be able to get out of there in 6 months.

Ty come down to the basement where she's hard at work and clad in safety glasses.

"Yo chica. I got some good news for you." He says.

"What's that?" Santana says as she's tinkering with chemicals.

"My cousin works on a government weed farm in Santa Barbra and she said it's cool if y'all live there you just gotta pay your way and work in the fields."

Santana is speechless and she drops what she's doing and jumps up on Ty wrapping her legs around him and kisses his cheek.

"You're the shit Ty!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Brittany and Quinn refuse to turn tricks for Artie anymore. Both of them actually got a job at a dollar store and are trying to get their lives on track but he doesn't like that.

He confronts them in the dressing rooms of the strip club and waves over two huge men.

"I own you bitches. Now this is what happens when a ho doesn't listen."

He snaps his finger and the two men start punching and kicking the girls as they scream out for help. But no ones coming.

After their beat down they run home and tell Santana who was already working on getting dirt on Artie from the time she found out they started tricking for him.

Turns out he's fixing the books of the club and hasn't paid the taxes for about 15 years.

Santana barges into his office with a stack of papers. He looks at her confused so she decides to explain.

"Those are the tax forms you haven't filed for 15 years. I suggest you let Brittany and Quinn go on their way or shit will go down. You know not to fuck with me Artie. You saw what happened to your friend Finn."

He puts his hands up in surrender. "Ok, ok. Deal. Are you sure you don't want your job back?"

"Fuck off." She yells before slamming his face into his desk and leaving.

She goes home and attends to the two blonde's wounds. They're not too bad, just some cuts and bruises but the girls feel heavenly finally free from Artie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

It's a normal day and everyone in the house is crowded in the living room getting high and watching movies.

There's a knock at the door and Santana pulls her gun out to answer it. She looks through the peephole and nothing's there so she opens the door. When she sees is she gasps.

Right at her feet is a baby in a box with two pieces of paper and she gets flashbacks to when she found Santi like that.

The baby looks familiar and it hits San that this is the little girl she cradled at the crack house.

"What the fuck does it say drop babies at my doorstep on my forehead?"

The birth certificate of the child is blank except for a first and middle name and birth date. Sofia Rose born December 30th 2016. Santana finds it funny that this little girl shares her birthday.

Santana does the calculations in her head and since it's the beginning of August that makes Sofia 7 months old.

She reads the other piece of paper that was in the box and realizes it's a letter.

_I saw how you were with her that night when you calmed her down and I just knew you could give her a better life than I ever could. Please take care of her. I know you will. You can give her the love I was never capable of giving._

Santana's so lost at staring at the baby in her arms that she doesn't notice Sam reaching for the phone to call 911.

"Let me call and report this." Sam says.

"No! I refuse to let this baby suffer going through the system."

"So what are you gonna do?" Sam asks baffled.

Quinn answers for her. "She's going to keep her. Sign the birth certificate San. Make her a Lopez."

Sofia opens her eyes and smiles up at Santana and her light blue eyes light up the whole house and her curly black hair shines softly.

Brittany looks at her completely enamored girlfriend and promises to love Sofia just as much

Santana tickles Sofia's chin. "Well I'm Santana little girl. And this is Brittany. Over there is Quinn and the rest you'll get to meet eventually. Let's get you some formula huh Sof?"

Santana and Brittany go to the store to get diapers and baby supplies. They get a stroller too and wheel the baby down the street. Brittany notices how her blue eyes, dark hair and olive skin make Sofia look like the perfect mix of her and San.

"I promise I will do whatever I can to take care of you Sofia. I want her to be ours. I want to be on the birth certificate."

"Are you sure Sweets? That's a lot to take on."

"Id take on the whole world with you."

Xxxx

Santi is leaving for college in Santa Barbra, California. He's kind of frightened. Or more like terrified.

Santana saved for his plane ticket so he could go to the college he got a baseball scholarship from.

Everyone's so proud of him the college even offered to pay for room and board and a meal plan because he's such a good first basemen.

He shoulders his duffle bag and bends over to tickle Sofia's cheek.

"Say goodbye to your Tio, Sof."

The baby coos and giggles and Santos starts to tear up.

"I'm gonna miss you little one. And I'm gonna miss everyone here. I'm just a little scared." Santi admits.

"We'll be out there to join you in about 6 months I just have to officially adopt Sofia and make a bit more money and we will be right there beside you. Besides, Lopez's aren't scared of anything." Santana smiles at him.

Santana puts Sof in Brittany's arms and gives her a kiss goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss you little one." She says.

"You're such a hot milf." Brittany exclaims while smiling hugely.

"So are you."

"I love you baby, please be careful. And Santi behave yourself!" Brittany warns playfully.

The siblings leave and about 20 minutes later they pull up to the airport.

They both get out and immediately hug each other with tears sitting in their eyes.

"Make me proud ok? God I'm gonna miss you so much Ti. I love you be safe."

"I love you too Tana. Kiss Sofia for me. You're an awesome Mom by the way."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana, Brittany and Quinn lay on Britt's bed playing with the baby.

Out of nowhere Quinn starts crying and thinking about the baby she lost.

"I'm just so happy she came into our lives. I'm gonna be the best aunt ever." Quinn explains.

"Well you better because you're her god mother, her Madrina." Santana reveals as the tickles Sofia's tiny feet.

Quinn smiles knowing how much that means to Santana to entrust her with the little bundle of joy.

Brittany turns to her girlfriend, "I didn't know you were religious."

"When I was younger I would go to this church after a beating or after school, it was the only place I felt safe. The nuns would clean me up and feed me. So I do believe in god. But I'm not active in the church. And being her Madrina means so much more than godmother. It's another parent in a way who will always be there for Sof and I know Q loves her just as much as us."

"Plus you get to explain to her how the hell we got her." Brittany laughs.

After a while they all fall asleep in a circle around the bed with their new beacon of hope sleeping soundly in the middle.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

It's Halloween and it just so happens to be the same day the adoption has gone through.

Santana cried for hours and Brittany laughed at her and told her Sofia was making her go soft.

Sofia's dressed up as a cute little elephant costume that Brittany made herself. And at ten months now, Sofia's a crawling elephant and it drives Santana crazy.

Q joins them along with Puck who's there incase anyone tries to fuck with them while trick or treating. This is the Bad Lands after all.

Sofia's starting to make noises and laugh more too and her blue eyes light up just like Brittany's do. Santana loves it.

Later that night as Santana's putting her in the bassinet Puck made he with wood he got from his new construction job and she stares at this wonderful little life cradled in comfort.

Brittany stands unnoticed in the doorway as Santana begins to speak.

She runs her finger over the baby's forehead. "I love you so much already and I swear I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you from this world amor. I want to give you the life I could have never dreamed of having."

Brittany walks away wiping a happy tear out of her eye. The action seems foreign but she likes it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana has saved enough for Cali but that means she needs to get clean. There's only black tar heroin out there and she doesn't want to shoot or smoke dope. Puck, Quinn, and Brittany join in the mission of detoxing.

The others refuse and since they all shoot it won't be hard for them to use the tar dope in Cali.

Santana mostly wants a fresh start.

The four decide to go two at a time so someone can watch Sof while the others are sick for about a week.

Santana and Puck go first. Quinn's gotten back together with him after she realized Mateo was just a fling and she loves Puck.

The pain is horrible. Brittany holds Santana as she screams and wreathes on the mattress they put in the basement so Sof didn't see her Mami like that.

"It's ok baby. Take these Xanax they should help relax your muscles." Brittany hands them over. "How about a bath huh?"

The brunette nods and Brittany carries her up the two flights of stairs and sits her on the toilet while she runs that bath.

She undresses Santana and helps her get in the tub before the blonde slips I behind her and holds her close.

She massages her arms and legs because Brittany knows they hurt the worst right now. Along with stomach cramps and all around shittyness.

In the hot water Santana almost feels normal. Her skin isn't crawling and her legs aren't restless. It doesn't last long though.

She's surrounded by heroin and that's what her body needs.

"Just one line B please."

"No san you know it will just start the process over. Today is the worst day I promise you'll start feeling better tomorrow babe."

The throwing up the constant diarrhea, muscle cramps. Crawling skin. Withdraw sucks.

The rest of them go through it and within a week they feel almost 100 percent.

But the craving to get high will never go away.

They collectively decided weed and alcohol were ok because they don't make you dope sick.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Sofia turns 1 today and Santana turns 25. The baby is almost walking by now and she's all wobbly and cute.

Santana walks back in the room and she hears something that could be compared to music in her ears.

"Mami." Sof yells.

Santana bursts into tears and scoops Sofia up into her arms.

"You are so amazing mija."

Brittany walks over and another beautiful thing happens.

"Mama." Sof giggles.

They hop up and down and laugh, so proud of their daughter and so happy to have her.

Then San spots Sam about to shoot up on the couch.

"Hey don't fuckin do that shit in front of my kid!"

He huffs and goes into his room knowing she's right.

They sing the two Lopez girls happy birthday and all is right in the world for once. And it might just stay that way for a while.

Sofia sits in her high chair and devours the cupcake they made for her and in the process she gets it all over her moms.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

This is it. Everyone is waiting on the platform for the plane to board to California. There's an anxious feeling settling over all 9 of the house members, half excitement, half terror of the unknown.

"_Boarding flight 2748 to Santa Barbra."_

_*_Hope you enjoyed all the craziness in this chapter. What do you think about the baby and all of them getting clean? Will it last forever though?


	31. Chapter 31

_Home is where the _

_Heart is_

_But what if that's_

_Where the_

_Start is?_

_No footprints _

_In the snow_

_I don't know _

_Where to go_

_From here _

The air is warm but not humid when they land and when the group gets to the farm property it's even better.

A light breeze picks up the tiny hairs on Santana's neck and something about here feels right.

The farm and the labs sit in a cluster of mountains and even though this place looks far from civilization, the city is only 20 minutes away.

There's a big cottage that San, Britt, Sof, Quinn, and Puck stay in and Sam, Sugar, Mike, and Tina stay in the other.

Mercedes is a nice black woman that has an attitude much like Santana's but she's nicer about it. She at least showed them their houses before telling them to fend for themselves for dinner.

Santana and Brittany settle into their bedroom and take time to play with Sofia.

"Hey baby girl." Santana says as she scoops her up from the floor and kisses her cheek.

"Ma." Sofia giggles.

Brittany smiles and smoothes the little girl's curly brown hair back.

"I love her so much already San. I didn't know I had this much love to give. Between the two of you I'm tapped out." Brittany laughs.

"I've been tapped out since I met you baby."

"Please, we all know you have the biggest heart of all of us." She circles around. "I mean look at where we are."

"I love you so much Sweets."

"I love you too but let's go find out what our jobs are.

Of course Santana will deal with the botany of it all and caring for the plants and Britt will clip and trim the buds like she used to do with Santana in her old lab.

Puck will work the outdoor strains and prep the fields with Sam and Mike. Sugar and Tina take up the packaging aspect and Quinn handles the orders and the finances.

They can't really figure out what it is Mercedes does but it's a good job and they don't ask questions.

"You'll all be paid every Friday. I usually throw a part cause this girl likes to get down. Brittany and Santana if you're working I'd be honored to watch Sofia."

"I don't know I never left her with anyone before." Santana answers with reluctance. She doesn't trust anyone with her kid after what her own childhood was like.

"I'll watch her when San works and vice versa, it'll be ok." Brittany continues for her girl. "But thanks Mercedes. San's just a little overprotective." She chuckles.

Mercedes nods and hands out security badges.

"Oh and one more thing. You steal from me. I kick your ass." The sassy black woman says as she walks away with a smirk.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

There's also vegetables on the farm so Santana purees them to make baby food for Sof.

She sits down on a wooden chair and faces Sofia in her high chair.

"Here comes the airplane baby." Santana coos as she zig zags the spoon into Sofia's mouth.

Quinn chuckles behind her. "I think that kid's made you soft."

Santana waves her off. "I can still beat your ass."

They hear a loud bang from upstairs and Santana stands abruptly. "Watch her for me?" She asks Quinn and the blonde doesn't get a chance to nod before Santana is bounding up the stairs.

She finds Brittany sitting on the ground rubbing her arm that's already starting to bruise.

"What happened babe? Are you ok?" Santana asks frantically.

"Yea I just got real dizzy and fell. I don't know what happened. It was scary San."

Santana holds the blonde in her arms and notices the bruise.

"Holy shit do you usually bruise this easily?"

Brittany shakes her head. "No but I'll be fine. I think I'm gonna lay down."

Santana helps her into bed and tucks her in. She kisses the blonde lovingly and bids her goodnight. "Sweet dreams baby."

Santana goes back downstairs and finds Q playing with the baby. She notices the small smile that graces Quinn's lips and is astounded by all the happiness Sof has brought to them.

"She's amazing, isn't she?"

"Yea." Quinn whispers.

"She loves her Madrina." Santana says coming to sit next to Quinn on the floor who's currently playing blocks with Sofia.

"I love her so much. It makes me think about how my baby would've looked by now. She'd be 10."

Quinn wipes a tear from her eye and looks down to the floor.

Santana wraps and arm around her and holds her close before Sof wobbles over and exclaims, "Tia" before running into her aunt and hugging her. "No sad."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Britt's sick. She has a fever of 103 and is weak but has no other cold symptoms.

"My bones hurt babe. They hurt so bad." Brittany whispers.

Santana feels her head again and her fever is hot as hell. "Come on we're going to the hospital, that fever's too high babe."

Santana carries Brittany down the stairs and yells over to Quinn because she's the only one she can trust with her baby. "Can you watch Sof. I gotta take Britt to the doctor she's not doing too good."

Quinn nods and Santana rushes out the door and into one of the company cars. She calls Mercedes to tell her she won't be working today and hangs up.

She rushes towards the hospital about 30 minutes away and squeezes her girlfriend's hand.

"Hurts." Brittany whimpers.

Santana gets out of the car and carries Britt until the nurse makes her drop the blonde into a wheel chair.

Brittany squeezes Santana's hand tight and looks up at her with worry.

"I'm right here babe." Santana says kissing her knuckles.

At that moment Brittany passes out and they take her into the emergency room and Santana has to wait outside.

The doctor comes out several hours later and nods for Santana to enter the room.

Brittany is crying and holding her hip when she walks in and Santana rushes to her side.

"They took my blood and they stuck this long needle into my hipbone and I couldn't even hold your hand. It hurt so much Tana." Brittany sobs into the other girl's arms and the doctor comes back looking pale.

"We noticed an abundance of white blood cells in your lab results. So, then, we conducted a bone marrow test to conclude out diagnosis. I'm sorry Miss Pierce but you have leukemia."

Brittany rips herself away from Santana. "No! No it's wrong test me again!"

Santana's world froze as she sits there with her mouth open and wraps her arm around a sobbing Brittany. She nods for him to continue.

"We won't know the extent until we perform further testing. Your insurance from Jones Corp will pay for a small part but have you thought about you payment plan for treatment?"

Santana goes rigid. "She just found out you asshole! Give her a minute before you talk about money."

Santana rubs her back and tries to calm the frantic blonde. "We'll get through this baby, we always do."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana sits at the kitchen table writing a letter to Rosa asking for help and telling her about Sofia. She kept her promise and writes every week.

Brittany's upstairs sleeping. She has been ever since they got home yesterday.

Quinn comes running in and crushes the Latina into a hug and Santana finally has a chance to cry.

"She's a fighter S. She'll be ok."

"Will she ever catch a fuckin' break? How can this world punish someone like Britt over and over again? I wish it was me. I wish I could do something."

"You can hold her hand. You can love her."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

"_You have a collect call from 'that bitch' at Eagleville state prison do you choose to accept the charges?"_

"Yes." Santana says.

"Camarada?"

"Yea Ro it's me. You got my letter?" Santana questions.

"Yes. I'm so sorry San. Send Brittany my love." Rosa answers back completely unsettled by the turn in her friend's life.

"You know I hate to ask for help but…"

"We'll do it." Rosa cuts her off. "Anything you have to pay for we've got it. I already sent Mateo out with some cash. You saved my life, I'll do what I can to save Brittany's."

Santana breaks down crying. "I can't lose her Rosa. I just can't."

"You won't San. Hug mi sobrina for me."


	32. Chapter 32

_Dysfunctional_

_Non- fiction_

_In reality_

_We have a mission_

_Fade darks to lights_

_No sleepless nights_

_I think I just might_

_Fall down._

_Shake it off_

_That impenetrable _

_Dirt_

_Wash it away_

_Away with all the hurt_

Brittany's POV

Holy shit.

So that really did happen huh?

I roll over at the sound of Sof crying in her crib across the hall and get up to feed her so San can sleep.

She stops crying before I get to her and that can only mean one thing.

As I open the door I smile at Quinn rocking my baby girl back to sleep.

I guess she hears me behind her because she turns abruptly around and sends a tight smile my way.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrug. "I don't really feel any different."

The truth is I don't feel anything at all.

Quinn nods and hands me Sofie. My child is gorgeous and I hope this leukemia shit doesn't take me out before I can see her go to her first day of school.

I'm gonna make it.

I have to.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana grips Brittany's hand tight as they walk towards the hospital doors.

The doctor said it was urgent they come down so Santana basically shoved Britt in the car and drove her here.

The two make their way into the cancer unit of the hospital and knock on Dr. Carr's door.

The man greets them with a tight smile and Santana licks her lips to moisten them. They're dry and chapped from the Latina biting at them to alleviate her worry.

The burly grey haired man turns to Brittany and it looks like he's scared. This makes Santana chuckle a bit.

People think San is the scary one but if you ever pissed off Britt you would know she is truly the one to be watched.

Dr. Carr clasps his hands together. "I have some very good news."

Britt nods urging him to get the fuck on with it.

"It seems we mixed your scans up with another Brittany Pierce that came in the same day. The only difference being she spells her first name different. She noticed her name spelled wrong on the chart and we called you as soon as we could."

Santana grinds her teeth. "So I held her all night last night while she cried because you mixed up the mother fuckin' charts!"

Brittany puts a hand on her shoulder to calm the Latina down and squeezes before bringing her own hand back to her lap.

"So…so I'm ok?"

The doctor nods. "Besides the fact that you're anemic. The reason you bruised so easily and your bones hurt is because there isn't enough iron in your system to supplement your body."

"How do I fix it?"

"There are over the counter iron pills or it could be as simple as eating more steak."

Brittany has never felt so relieved. She wants to hug the doctor and punch him in the face at the same time.

She spent the better part of the night wondering if she would die and now she is nowhere close to death and it feels good.

But she also thinks about the girl who was told she was anemic and had to come back to be told she had leukemia.

Santana raises her hand. "Is it my turn to be pissed off that you had her literally shaking in her boots because she thought she was gonna die?"

"San… We got the good news. There's no reason to be mad. Someone else is being told right now that they have cancer."

Santana puts some thought to that and nods her agreement at Brittany.

After the two leave the hospital Britt seems to be going through every emotion in her repertoire.

She's crying out of relief and for the girl that wasn't so lucky today. She's laughing because not only is she going to see Sof go to school but she's going to live to see everything after that.

Santana looks over at her and B picks her head up. They meet eyes across the car and start bursting into laughter.

"Do we ever get a dull moment?" Britt asks laughing.

"If I wanted dull moments I would've asked Quinn out a long time ago." Santana laughs.

For the first time in a while they feel good. They feel loved and being loved is the best thing in the world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Meanwhile Quinn has been pacing the floor while Sofia plays as she waits for her two best friends to get back.

The door flings open and Brittany literally cartwheels through the threshold.

Quinn cocks her head in confusion and Santana fills her in on their news.

The shorter blonde runs over to Brittany and tackles her to the ground in a hug.

"You scared me you ass hole." Quinn jokes.

"Keeps ya healthy."

After hearing the good news the group decide to celebrate. Even Mercedes comes to give Britt a hug and to tell her she's glad she's not sick.

Everyone gets wasted except Santana who opts to watch her daughter while Brittany lets loose.

Quinn flops down on the couch next to the Latina and smiles hugely at her. "Things feel good right now."

"You're drunk Q." Santana chuckles.

"Damn right I am." She slurs. "But I mean like life. For once it doesn't hurt to live it. It's like the disaster needle on our record player of life has finally been lifted."

"You been hangin' out with the hippies Q?" Santana laughs hysterically. Never has she heard her friend talk about life like it was an object.

"No but I've been smokin' this potent ass weed you grow. With your help all my brain cells might be gone by the end of the night."

Santana shakes her head and as she does she looks over to see Sam lighting a joint.

"Hey! Go smoke that shit outside and not around my kid big lips."

Sam freezes and basically runs out of the door.

Ever since he saw what Santana did to Finn he's been scared of her. Santana thinks it's funny. Brittany thinks it's mean.

After the yelling things go back to normal and Brittany's eyes wander to the couch.

She smiles watching Q and her girlfriend happily playing with little Sofia and she gets an idea.

The blonde grabs the twist tie off of the loaf of bread in the kitchen and makes it into a circle before twisting the excess at the top into a heart.

Brittany smiles at her handy work and wanders over to Santana.

She sits on the coffee table in front of the Latina playing with the twist tie in her hand.

All her words are lost for a moment until she unearths them with the shovel of reality.

"When I saw you across the room at that party I knew you were going to be in my life somehow and if you didn't want to I was gonna make you." Britt chuckles. "You've taken care of me at my worst and loved me through it all. San being told I had fake leukemia might've been a blessing in disguise. It made me realize that life is too short to be worried about the little things like how you leave the cap to the toothpaste off and swear it was Puck every morning."

Quinn and Santana are looking on at Britt with an air of _what the fuck is this about?_

The blonde notices and continues. "I'm not gonna get on my knee San because we are equal in everything. Equal in love and passion. Equal in heart. What I'm trying to say is I want to spend the rest of my life waking up to your drool on my arm, or going to sleep with your body pressed against me. Tana I want to grow old with you. I want a forever with you."

"You know you already have all of me Britt."

The blonde opens her palm to the makeshift ring and slips it on Santana's finger before kissing the Latina's knuckles and looking into her eyes. "Marry me Santana."

San chuckles with a teary smile. "Well you already put the ring on babe."

"Is that a yes?"

"Brittany I want to spend the rest of my life saying yes to you because I want to give you everything I have and more. But gay marriage is illegal here."

"I don't care about a piece of paper. That doesn't explain how I feel about you. It's not the blueprint of our love. We are. And I say if I can have fake leukemia I can have an equally fake wedding. But the wedding will stick with me for life. Stick with me for life baby."

"Ok, yeah. Yes. Let's do it." Santana says as she wraps her arms around Brittany's neck.

Sofia jumps up and down smiling at her mothers and continuously yells, "Yes!"


	33. Chapter 33

_In a desert_

_I would thirst for you_

_And not water_

_In the cold _

_I crave your arms_

_Foregoing a blanket_

_In life you are it_

_My heart beats_

_Only at the sign_

_Of your breaths _

_We are connected_

_Connected until death_

Santana's out in the heat of the sun tending to the fields because Puck has bronchitis and everyone else is lazy.

She's wearing little to no clothes donning a cut off t-shirt that's tied up in the front to expose her stomach and dangerously short denim cut offs and yet she's still glistening with sweat.

Her stomach muscles shine and tense in the heat as she bends over plants and clips buds and leaves putting some in a basket and tossing the leaves aside.

Her shorts ride up when she bends over and when Brittany walks down the hill to bring her water she is greeted by the sight of a sliver of Santana's ass cheek peeking out of the bottom of her shorts and her thong making an appearance higher up about her waistband and resting on the dimples of her caramel colored back.

Brittany comes up from behind her and grinds her front into Santana's ass and the brunette grunts and turns around.

The blonde hands her the bottle of water and kisses her girlfriend. "How's it going out here?"

"Well some plants got mold because Puck is an idiot so I have to isolate the ruined ones and then I have to harvest the buds on the good ones." Santana says as she keeps working.

Brittany walks closer to Santana at an agonizingly slow pace. When she gets close enough she takes her hand and runs her finger over San's exposed collarbone slowly but with purpose and leans forward so her lips caress the Latina's ear.

"Sounds like you need a break."

Santana gulps and nods. "Yea…Break."

Brittany drags her hand down from her collarbone to the waistband of San's shorts and slides a finger between cloth and skin and rubs a dark hipbone.

Santana breathes in deeply feeling herself start to glisten in other places and prepares herself for whatever Brittany's imagination has in store for her.

The blonde then slides her finger to the back on Santana's shorts and pushes her hand all the way in so she can grip the brunette's ass.

"Mm" Santana moans.

Brittany makes a motion to kiss her but stops just short and waits for Santana to make the connection.

Santana joins their lips and finds her tongue in Britt's mouth in a flash.

The taller girl lays Santana down on the grass in the fields between the plants and slides her hand up San's shirt to find she's not wearing a bra.

She plays with her nipple and sucks on her neck while Santana grabs at her ass and moans melodies that only Brittany gets to hear.

Santana slips her hands inside the blonde's shorts wanting to feel skin and grips her juicy bare ass.

"Fuck." Brittany gasps and brings her knee between Santana's thighs and grinds it into her wet pussy causing her to cry out in pleasure.

They grind into one another until Brittany creates space and slides her hand down the front of the Latina's shorts and runs her fingers through the waterfall in her panties.

Santana grips Britt's neck and guides her fingers where she needs her while rolling her hips into them.

She takes her left hand and slides it into her girl's shorts and shoves two fingers inside her without warning.

Brittany gasps. "Oh San."

The blonde follows and does the same to Santana and they both fuck each other hard and slow while rolling their hips into it to go deeper inside one another.

The heat from the sun beats down on them and sweat drips from one forehead to another, from one arm to a leg, and moans are heard nestled in with bird songs and tranquil breeze

Santana grinds greedily. "Ugh. Yes. Harder."

"Like this?" Brittany says speeding up.

"Yes. Oh hell yes."

Santana comes quickly after that and Brittany rides her fingers and erupts gripping San's shirt in the middle of her chest.

After recovering Brittany kisses her and stands up.

"Breaks over." She says with a sly grin before walking away leaving Santana sitting on the ground smiling at the love of her life.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santi comes to visit on Spring break. As he walks through the door Sofi spots him and runs into his arms.

"Tio!"

"Ah. How are you baby girl?" He puts her down. "I got something for you."

The now, young man, searches through his bag and pulls out a dirty baseball. "It's a ball from the first game I won with the team."

Santana walks over with a genuine smile and hugs her brother. "What do you say Sof?"

"Thank you."

Santi ruffles her hair and turns to Quinn, Britt, and Puck who also stand in the living room and opens his arms.

They all walk towards him and take turns hugging him and asking how college is.

Santana cooks as usual when they're all together and everyone at the other house is dope sick because of a shortage so she makes steak and potatoes and chicken nuggets for her baby girl.

Puck nudges Santos at the table. "How are the girls over there?"

Quinn kicks him under the table and he winces.

"Prime Puck the ladies are prime." Santi answers.

Santana screws up her face. "Gross. I don't wanna hear this. Did you pick a major yet?"

Santi swallows his steak and nods. "I wanna be a social worker. Ya know. Help kids like us." He shrugs.

Quinn beams at him. "That's awesome Ti."

He puts his head down bashfully and Santana and everyone at the table look at him so proudly that they actually stop eating for a moment just to reflect on how good he turned out.

After dinner everyone goes to bed but San stays up to talk to her brother alone.

"So she did it with a bread tie? That's classic Brittany." Santi laughs.

"Yea and I want to marry her so bad but it's not legal here."

Santi thinks for a moment before coming up with a solution. "I think I got an idea."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

The next day Santana brings Brittany to the kitchen while Sofia is napping and all her tattoo supplies are set up on the table.

"What's going on? Am I getting my giraffe tattoo?"

Santana laughs. "No you're going to learn how to tattoo."

San goes to the fridge and gets out a package of chicken breasts she boiled earlier and places them in front of the blonde.

Then she slides a stencil of an infinity symbol with two lines coming out of each side towards her.

"Put the stencil on the chicken and it will transfer the drawing. Then put the needle in the gun."

Santana stands behind her and guides her hand as Brittany holds the tattoo gun and loads it with ink.

"Now put your foot on the pedal down there and that makes the needle go. Kinda like a sewing machine."

Brittany does as told and jumps when the gun springs to life and vibrates in her hand. Santana chuckles and Britt regains her composure and starts to tattoo the design on the skin of the chicken.

The first three are horrible but after the fourth she gets the hang out it.

After a while Brittany stops and looks up at Santana. "What's the point of all this?"

Santana grins. "I have an idea."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana gathers everyone in the living room including Sofie and there is a table in the middle of the room with a cloth over it and flowers everywhere.

She goes away and comes back in a tight white dress that hangs off her shoulder and red heels.

Brittany comes down the steps and looks stunning in a simple knee length peplum dress. She has her hair done up and curly tendrils shape her face.

She kisses Santana when she meets her at the steps and they join hands.

They walk over to the table and Santi pulls one chair out for San and the other for Brittany.

Puck pulls the cloth off the table and there lay the tattoo gun, black ink, and all the other supplies needed.

Sam, Tina, Mike, and Sugar all look at one another confused.

Brittany smiles at her girl. "Do you want to go first?"

San shakes her head. "No you do me first."

San wants to show just how much she's committed to this by being the first one to do it.

Britt motions for her left hand and San stretches it acrss the table and rests it in Britt's palm. Brittany swabs the area with alcohol and then places the stencil on San's ring finger before peeling it away and revealing the transfer.

The infinity symbol runs vertical on the finger and two lines come out from it and wrap around the finger like a ring. They changed the bands from just lines to intricate swirls when Brittany went to town on about 30 chicken breasts and became as good as and jailhouse tattoo artist.

Brittany loads the needle into the gun and dips it into black ink.

"Santana you have all of my heart. It spills over with the love I have for you. With all that you've done for me and continue to do for me I could never repay you. But I will tell you I love you everyday until the hour I die. We share a soul.

Quinn steps forward. "Santana Lopez do you take Brittany Pierce as your wife. To have and to hold in sickness and in health from now and until the hour of your death?"

Santana smiles and squeezes Brittany's hand. "Damn right I do."

Brittany nods with a teary smile and starts tattooing.

Sof watches with interest in what's happening and mesmerized by how pretty her mommies look.

Brittany finishes and then kisses Santana's hand. Santana checks out Britt's handy work and approves.

"It's perfect." Santana swoons.

Brittany presents her left hand to Santana after changing the needle and waits for her turn.

Again before Santana goes to work something is said. "Brittany you literally brought light into my life. For too long I was scraping by in the darkness but you came with that smile and laugh and I was instantly blown away. You are everything. As simple as that. And I'm just lucky I get to wake up to those blue eyes every morning and kiss those lips every night, I love you Brittany so, so much. My heart is yours always. We share a soul."

Quinn says her part and the regular wedding stuff and then Brittany answers. "I do. Every second of every day I do."

Santana wipes a tear from her eye and turns the gun on. Brittany winces a little but Santana is done within 15 minutes.

Santana and Brittany both stand up and embrace one another and Quinn stands in front of them.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Santana dips Brittany and kisses her deeply.

She looks into blue eyes bewildered by her wonderful life. "How?"

She puts the blonde upright.

"We're meant to be Santana. It's as simple as that."

"Who's taking who's name?" Santana asks.

"I want to take yours. I want to be a Lopez just like my baby girl."

Santana smiles and kisses her, now, wife and nods. "Brittany Lopez it is."


	34. Chapter 34

Hitting head on

A car crosses the lawn

And into a house

The warning bells

Were as quiet

As a mouse

But now the twisting metal

Makes a symphony of horror

Glass shattering is a scare

The casualties were

Blissfully unaware

Life goes on in the Cali house and soon Santana is out in the greenhouse clipping more buds off of plants. She looks at her finger and tries not to scratch the healing tattoo. She wiggles her fingers and admires Brittany's handy work with a smile.

Santana can't believe she vowed to love someone eternally. She knows she has wanted to grow old with Brittany since the day they met but it's so much different saying those things out loud for any ear to listen.

She finishes up and heads back to the house to take a much needed shower.

Within seconds of opening the door, Sofia is hanging off of her leg and Brittany is kissing her on the cheek.

"Mami!" Sofia yells and Santana bends over to pick her up.

She kisses the crown of Sofie's head and inhales that intoxicating baby scent before taking Brittany's hand and walking into the kitchen where Quinn stands at the stove cooking.

"Hey Q ball." Santana smirks.

Quinn scoffs. "Gross. I told you not to call me that years ago."

"I decided to bring it back." Santana says putting Sofia in her high chair.

As she bends over Brittany walks by and slaps Santana on the ass and winks at her before helping Quinn shuck corn at the kitchen table.

Santana makes eye contact with the blonde and gives her a look that tells Brittany she's going to regret that later.

Quinn coughs to break up their staring contest and nudges Brittany playfully. "Newlyweds." She mumbles.

Puck walks through the door at that moment looking defeated. When he walks closer Quinn notices swollen red spots all over his face and arms.

She puts the corn down and walks over to him as he hisses in pain. "What happened?" She asks half worried half laughing.

"I sat under this tree to get some shade and a bee's nest fell on me." Puck answers as he sits down carefully on a chair.

Santana laughs out loud while Brittany and Quinn at least try to hide their amusement and Puck doesn't even have the energy to yell.

Quinn hands him an anti histamine to control the swelling and tells him to take a bath before she kisses his forehead and he walks away with his head hung low.

"He looks like a blow fish." Quinn laughs out once he's gone.

"I heard that!" Puck yells from upstairs and the girls snicker.

"Blow fish." Sofia repeats and causes and uproar and upstairs Puck shakes his head and sits in the bath.

Santana high fives the child. "That's my girl."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Brittany's POV

Thank god everyone's working. I don't want them to see me cry. It seems like ever since I got clean everything that I've never let myself feel is coming back full force like a dam being broken and crashing down on the town that is my psyche.

It's just too much sometimes. Thinking about how my sister was in the same city as me and I couldn't get to her in time. How he ruined both of our lives and murdered my parents.

The years in that basement wore me down and I was unaware of just how much it wore me down until now.

I look over at Sofia playing in the corner and her free spirit reminds me of Bree. It hurts so much.

I hear a knock on the door and I wipe my tears hastily.

"Come in."

Quinn enters with a smile but it seems to fade when she looks at me.

Fuck she's gonna ask me what's wrong.

She sits on the bed next to me and puts a hand on my arm. "What's wrong?"

I knew it.

"Nothing." I smile as big as I can. "I'm great."

"Bullshit. Spill." Quinn says sternly not buying my lie.

"It's just… I feel so much more now and everything hurts ten fold. I miss my sister and my parents. I…" I trail off as I start to get choked up.

Quinn scoots closer and brings me into her arms. "I feel it too."

Seems like cracks are spreading everywhere.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

I know this is wrong and I know I shouldn't be doing it but as I wrap the belt around my arm it feels so fucking right.

I ventured over to the other house while I was supposed to be working and scored some shit off of Sam. I had to convince him to give it to me but that's what my blue eyes were made for.

As I line up the needle at an angle to my bulging vein, nothing is in my mind and when I feel the pinch and the burn of the dope going in all the pain flushes away like waves receding from the beach.

I nod off for a bit but then something that always happens starts to begin. I'm horny as fuck.

I look at the clock and it's about 4 so San should be done in the greenhouse soon.

"Thanks Sam." I say standing up with purpose and strut over to my house where Quinn is playing with my daughter in the back yard.

Santana is walking up at the same time and I don't even give her a chance to say hi to Sof. I grip her by the arm and drag her through the front door and up the stairs to our bedroom.

"Whoa Britt." San chuckles confused.

"Take your clothes off." I command her and the way she squirms tells me she's getting wet.

Santana obliges but is taking too long so I slap her hands away and rip her shirt down the middle and toss it aside.

Her bra is next and then I pull her pants and thong down leaving her completely nude.

In an instant I twist her around so she's bending over with her ass in the air and I slap it hard three times.

"Mmph." Santana grunts but keeps her ass sticking up like she wants more.

I grind my front into her ass and reach in front of me to tweak her nipples hard and bite her shoulder with a growl.

I stand back up straight and walk my fingers to the entrance of her wet pussy and she urges me to enter by pushing into them.

I pretend to go in and then come back out and she groans in frustration.

I moan because my girl is so sexy when she lets me fuck her like this.

Finally I push two fingers in and start fucking her hard. Good thing Quinn is outside with Sof or she's think her Mommy's were beating the shit out of one another.

San comes quickly but I don't stop. I pound her with my fingers relentlessly and her legs shake barely able to hold herself up.

After the 4th time coming I take my fingers out and hold them up to her lips.

Santana smiles and gingerly sucks on my fingers. "Where'd that come from?"

"I was just thinking about fucking you all day." I lie. It's better not to tell her I got high and wanted to fuck her hard.

She caresses my face with the back of her hand. "I love you."

I gulp, "I love you too." Never have those four words made me feel so shitty.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Brittany is trimming buds in the packaging room with Santana. It's hot as hell and San notices Britt wearing long sleeves.

"Aren't you hot babe?"

Brittany shakes her head and fidgets in her seat. "No, I'm fine."

San looks at her funny but brushes it off to Brittany just being Brittany.

Santana puts down her clippers and kisses Britt on the cheek. "I'm off to the fields, wish me luck."

Once Brittany is alone she drops everything and basically runs to the other house and into their living room.

Inside everyone is in the living room as usual. Needles litter the coffee table and baggies are spread everywhere.

Mike is in the process of shooting up as Brittany sits down. "Hey guys." She says as she pulls her own stash she bought from Sam out of the drawer in the end table next to her.

Just as she's about to tie off her arm Mike starts to seizure and foam at the mouth.

Tina starts screaming and Sugar runs for the phone and calls 911.

Sam holds his head so he doesn't bang it while seizing.

Santana sees the ambulance going towards the houses and thinks something happened to her girls so she sprints behind it.

When she opens the door she sees Brittany scrambling to hide needles and bags and paramedics putting Mike on oxygen and performing CPR.

It clicks in Santana's head that Brittany was just working and had to have come here as soon as she left. Then she sees the track marks on the blonde's arm that has the sleeve rolled up and her eyes fill with rage.

Brittany puts a hand out to touch her. "San…"

Santana pushes her away. "No. I can't even look at you right now."

The medics shock his heart over and over but nothing comes of it and when one of them reaches to feel for a pulse and shakes his head Tina lets out a heart-wrenching scream and throws herself on top of Mike's body.

"No, no, no, no!" She screams as Sugar rubs her back.

She refuses to let go when the paramedics have to take him to the coroner and Sam has to tear her away as she screams for her love.

Tina buries her face into Sam's chest as they wheel Mike away and the only thing that can be heard is the sobs that wrack Tina's body so painfully that it sound as if she might die too.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Mercedes even showed up to the funeral even though she thinks they're all dumb for doing the shit anyway.

It's raining like one of those wakes in movies and everyone has black umbrellas to match their clothes and the mood.

Tina isn't crying. She isn't anything.

She walks numbly to the grave plot and waits for the part where she throws a handful of dirt in.

Everyone else is broken up too and Sofia has no idea what's going on but Santana wanted her to pay her respects to her Tio Mike.

Brittany's been trying to talk to Santana all day but the Latina refuses and keeps walking away.

Everyone thinks of memories involving Mike like when he was scared shitless of Santana the first time meeting him or how Puck used to be the muscle that threatened him.

Tina just wants his arms around her again.

Tina foregoes long sleeves and has been shooting up all day and there are marks of dried blood on her arm as she stares blankly at the lowering casket.

She looks over to the tombstone and smiles a bit at the etching that says he was loved, because he was, so damn much.

She grabs a handful of dirt and tosses it over the casket and sends her love to the only man she will ever truly give herself to.

Later that night in bed Santana turns her back on Brittany as she lays down and the blonde feels yet another twinge of hurt along with the symptoms of being dope sick.

Santana rolls over. "The other night. When you fucked me. You were high weren't you?"

Brittany nods dismally.

"And you were high when you watched our daughter?"

"San I-"

"Answer the question Brittany." San spits out.

Brittany looks down and then off to the side and whispers, "Yes."

Santana scoffs and flips the covers off of her before getting out of bed. "I'm going out." Santana puts on shoes. "I love you but I can't be near you right now."

Brittany whimpers and bites her lip to keep her tears at bay and Santana leaves.

"You didn't even ask why." Brittany cries to the empty room and buries her face in Santana's pillow inhaling the scent.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

A dark haired petite woman walks down the street distraught. Her hair is all over the place and tears forge tracks down her cheeks.

Dread seems to follow this woman with every step, right on her heels.

She teeters her feet on the edge of the curb and looks down the street.

The brunette spots a bus and grins. She waits for the right moment and steps out and within seconds everything is concluded with a resounding BANG!


	35. Chapter 35

_Down we roll_

_Through a hole_

_To the dark_

_No need for a soul_

_Or humor and snark_

_It's not another day_

_No walk in the park_

Tina's been gone for almost two days now and the whole group has been searching all over.

Santana slips away from everyone and whispers to Brittany where she's going before kissing Sofia on the forehead and leaving.

Brittany and Santana have recently bought a jeep so Santana hops in the car and heads to the last place she wants to find Tina, the morgue.

She goes through the office and asks if they have any Jane Doe's that they haven't identified and the creepy looking man in a lab coat nods his head and leads her to the back.

Laid out on metal beds with drains are 5 women with cloths draped over their bodies.

Santana cringes in the cold as she starts lifting up sheets to look at faces.

She's starting to get hopeful that Tina isn't in there but when she lifts the last sheet her body deflates.

Tina lay there dead and mangled by whatever did this to her and Santana puts the sheet back over her and nods at the mortician to confirm this was who she was looking for.

"She jumped in front of a bus." The man informs Santana and her eyes widen. They should've never let her out of their sight after Mike died.

The Latina then fills out some paper work with Tina's information on it so the morgue can start the autopsy.

Santana returns to the house with her head hung low and Brittany runs to meet her at the front door.

Santana is still mad at her so she doesn't hug the Latina just sends her a look that asks what's going on.

The Latina nods. "She jumped in front of a bus. She's gone." Santana says in a cold voice before walking past Brittany and upstairs to shower.

Brittany stands there in shock and drops to the ground in a heap of tears. She goes over and informs Sam and Sugar and they are just as distraught.

Everyone loved Mike and Tina and now they're gone and no one can bring them back.

Two days later the group has another funeral and Mercedes comes to this one too.

Santana bought a grave plot next to Mike's so they could be together and on her stone is the same thing as Mike's. _She was loved. _

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

The next day Santana comes out of her grieving haze and realizes she never spoke to Brittany about her relapse. This ignites a new fire under Santana and she charges up the fields and to the house. But before she can go in, Quinn grips her up and spins her around.

"Not like this. You need to calm down."

Santana grunts and sits on the front steps of the house. "I just… She shot up again. I don't think I'd be as mad if she snorted it Q but she did it and hid it from me. She was getting high when Mike died and with the same shit. That could've been her!"

"She's dealing with a lot of shit right now. She's hurting."

Santana turns her head grimly towards Quinn and looks into her eyes. "Aren't we all?" Santana balls her fists. "She fucked me high off her ass and lied. She was high watching Sof. It's not like her and it makes me want to get high. Sometimes weed isn't enough."

Quinn rubs Santana's back as tears begin to leak from her eyes. "I relapsed." Quinn confesses.

San's head swings so fast in Q's direction that it could've fallen off and rolled onto the ground.

"No I didn't use while I watched Sof." Quinn answers the silent question.

"Why?" Santana asks genuinely concerned. Strong people like Quinn don't just up and relapse for nothing.

"Everything just feels so heavy Tana. I should be happy but the past is biting at my heels."

Santana puts her head in her hands. "I know the feeling." Her voice cracks. "I have dreams about them carting me off to jail for all the shit I did in Philly."

Quinn throws an arm around the Latina's shoulder and pulls her close. "Let's not think about anything that happened there."

Out of nowhere it seems, Santana starts hysterically crying and it honestly shocks Quinn because the Latina never breaks down like this. And if she does it's certainly not in front of anyone but Brittany.

"Shh. It's ok." Quinn soothes rubbing the sobbing brunette's back as she wails louder than Q's ever heard.

Brittany opens the front door at the sound of sobbing and when she notices it's Santana she instantly forgets they were fighting and sits down before wrapping her arms around the brunette.

"What's going on?" Brittany asks gently and her voice brings Santana back to reality and she quickly wipes her tears and stiffens up her posture.

"I feel like shit too." Santana answers coldy.

Brittany ducks her head shamefully thinking of her relapse.

Santana stands up and pulls a baggie of coke out of her pocket and tosses it in Britt's lap. "But even though I had that since before Tina died, I haven't touched it."

Britt and Q stare at the bag and then back at Santana and over again.

Santana shoves her hands in her pockets and looks down to the ground. "I'm sorry I was so harsh with you Britt but I was so scared that it was gonna be you in that ambulance. And it could've been. I need you Brittany, and so does Sofia." After stating her peace Santana walks away and into the fields.

Meanwhile Brittany and Quinn keep looking at the bag of coke between them. It's like San left it as a test.

Puck comes out suddenly with Sof in his arms wondering where everyone went and Quinn shuffles the coke under her thigh between the cement of the steps and her leg.

Pucks looks at her suspiciously but doesn't say anything.

"Babe, where's Tana. I have some bad news."

Quinn and Brittany go rigid and when Quinn stands she shoved the coke into her pocket secretly.

"What's going on?" Brittany asks worried.

"Santi's in jail."

"What!" Santana screams as she walks up the hill. She's fucking pissed. She didn't risk her life to give him a better one just for him to end up in the same place.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Turns out Santi got caught with two bundles on school grounds. They kicked him off the baseball team and took his scholarship. Everything's ruined.

Before she goes to the jail to seem him Santana makes a call to Rosa. In Cali there are huge amounts of gangs in jail and it's much worse than Philly so Santana needs help protecting him.

"We'll keep an eye out for him. A lot of the Kings are locked up in Cali. He will be safe Santana I promise." Rosa comforts her but Santana knows no amount of protection will keep him from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Thanks Ro. And if you need a wholesale weed connect I got you at a discount, camarada."

Rosa laughs. "You will always be a hustler Lopez."

Santana hangs up with Rosa and prepares to see her little brother in jail.

Only two people at a time can come so Brittany decided it was best to let Quinn see her brother too.

When they get to the seating area where the prisoners are behind a sheet of glass sitting at tables, Santana sees a slumped over Santi and rushes over to his section.

She can tell he's trying to hold it together when he forces a smile but the glazed over look in his eyes give him away.

San wonders if this is what it felt like visiting her and a chill runs up her spine.

Santana and Q then put their hands on the glass where Santi can reciprocate. "Stay strong Ti." Q says choking back tears.

"Where did you get it?" Santana gets straight to the point.

"My roommate. I was using but the stash they found was his and he said it wasn't so they took me in because I have track marks." He breaks down. "I'm so sorry Tana. I'm so stupid."

San knocks harshly on the glass. "Hey! None of that. You can't beat yourself up in here. This place does that for you."

After whispering I love yous to Santi the two girls leave.

Santana sits in the driver's seat and rests her forehead on the wheel while gripping the hell out of her hair.

"He looks so small in there." Quinn whispers and breaks down.

Santana sits up and the girls hug one another but when they pull back a bag of coke falls out of the jacket Q left in the car.

San looks at it and then back at Q. "You kept it?"

Quinn nods. "I haven't done any."

Santana then grabs the bag and rips it open before taking her pinky and dipping it in the bag and snorting a bump out of her nail.

"What the fuck, S?" Quinn shrieks at the sudden movement.

"I am too stressed out to be in the area of drugs and not do them." Santana says handing the bag back and turning the car on.

Quinn internally goes into fuck it mode and lays out lines on a CD case. She snorts them as San drives away from the prison and to a park where they do the rest of it.

Soon Santana and Quinn are laughing and running around the park playing on the equipment.

"Come get me shorty!" Quinn yells as she runs from the slide to the swings.

Santana slides down and runs after her and she's glad she's behind Quinn because while looking back the blonde runs into a pole on the swing set.

Santana drops to the ground in a ball of laughter and Quinn does too even though there's a knot on her forehead now.

"Bar?" Quinn asks.

"Fuck yes." Santana yells and runs to the car without a worry in the world.

Quinn loves seeing her like this and she actually smiles as they pull up to a bar called Potatoes.

They sit on stools at the bar and soon tequila is flowing and so are the two girls. Santana doesn't give a fuck about driving drunk at this point.

"What's pussy taste like?" Quinn slurs and Santana spits her drink out.

"Heaven. Well Brittany's tastes like heaven." San asks feeling proud of herself when Quinn screws up her face. "You asked bitch." Santana laughs.

"Puck's cum is like the sweetest ever." Quinn plays back. "It's like swallowing pineapple juice."

Santana pushes her off the stool. "My ears!"

After getting sufficiently fucked up they decide it's time to go home and by this time it's late so they have to be super quiet. But this is impossible because of how fucked up they are.

They fall all over each other and flail around trying to get up the steps.

San slips and hits her head. "Fuck."

"Shh." Quinn hushes.

"You shh." Santana counters but regrets it when the baby starts crying.

Brittany gets up and flips the light on in the hallway. She walks towards Santana with purpose and grabs her chin to look into her eyes.

"So you guys visit your brother and somehow get coked out and drunk?" Brittany asks annoyed.

Quinn and Santana's eyes bug out of their heads.

"Yea, I fuckin' know." She points to Quinn. "You're scratching your neck tweaked the fuck out." She turns back to Santana. "And now you woke up Sofia."

Santana puts her head down ashamed know that last part had a double meaning. Not too long ago Santana was yelling at Brittany for the same shit.

"Go to Sam's and smoke some weed so you can sleep… On the couch." Brittany commands and walks away to get Sof.

Santana huffs and Quinn giggles and slaps her back.

"What are you laughing at?" Puck says throwing a pillow at Q and she freezes. "Hope you had fun." He says shaking his head and walking away. He's the only one who hasn't relapsed now.

Quinn looks over at Santana with her own pillow and blanket. "Guess we're both in the doghouse."


	36. Chapter 36

_Mistakes _

_Are what makes us_

_Human_

_Unless you're assuming_

_I'm not_

_Well then you're in_

_For a surprise_

_This disguise _

_Is just me._

Santana wakes up to Britt hovering over her and shaking her head.

Santana groans and causes Quinn to do the same on the couch across the room.

"Never pegged you as a hypocrite, Lopez." Brittany says in disdain.

Santana grabs her pounding head and squints in the sunlight filtering in from the curtains.

"Aww does your head hurt?" Brittany says sickeningly sweet and then claps her hands right next to the brunette's ear.

Santana winces. "Fuck, Britt. I get it."

"Oh, you get it?" Britt scoffs and walks away. "I'm going out. Sof should be up any minute. Try and stay sober long enough to take care of your daughter."

Santana visibly winces from her words and looks at the floor ashamed. Once the front door closes she flops back on the couch and tries to bury herself in the covers but Quinn's snicker stops her.

"It was so worth it though." Quinn laughs.

"I know right." Santana agrees and Puck walks in shaking his head.

"You're both dumber than I thought." He says and Sofia starts crying.

Santana springs up to get her and when she enters the room Sofia is standing up in her crib.

"Mami."

"Hey baby girl." Santana says scooping her up. "We're gonna have to get you a big girl bed. What do you think mija?"

Sofia nods her head fast and laughs.

Santana smiles down at her. "Ok let's get some cereal before Uncle Puck makes Aunt Quinn cry."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Brittany walks through the fields getting her head straight. She's so mad at Santana. She can't believe she said those words when she fucked up and then went and did the same thing. Granted she wasn't actually fucked up and watching their daughter, but she still used.

Normally in this situation Brittany would talk to Quinn but she's mad at the blonde too. She's relapsed twice now.

The last person Britt thought wasn't going to relapse was Puck but she guesses something in those alleys changed him.

She picks weeds out of the tomatoes and other vegetable plants and bags them as she goes. It's a calming thing for Brittany.

She then puts the trash bag in the dumpster and grabs a basket to pick berries.

All of a sudden Sofia comes running down the hill with Santana chasing after her laughing and pretending she can't catch up. For a moment the Latina looks so cute Brittany forgets she's mad at her.

Sofia runs into Brittany's legs and the blonde puts the basket down and picks her up.

"Hey cutie. What's up?"

"Mami chase me." Sofia giggles.

Santana walks up with a grin. "Don't lie Sof. You missed mama, and so did I."

Brittany scoffs. "Don't use our daughter to get back on my good side."

San pouts adorably. "Babe. What do I have to do?"

Brittany allows herself to crack a smile. "Well." She grins. "If you keep being cute like that with Sof I'm gonna have a hard time being mad at you."

Santana straightens up like she just won a toy and sneaks a kiss to Britt's cheek quickly and runs back up the hill scooping Sofia up on the way.

Brittany shakes her head with a smile. Maybe they can just start fresh. They both fucked up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Puck's upstairs in his and Q's room screaming at Quinn.

Britt, San, and Sof are downstairs eating dinner but the two can be heard all through the house.

"You wanna be a junkie again? Fine! But I'm not gonna be around for it!"

"Noah!" Quinn yells.

Santana hears this downstairs and stiffens at the use of Puck's given name.

"I fucked up ok? I slipped. But I won't do it again. I promise." Quinn goes up to him and tries to touch his arm but he pushes her away.

"Do you know how many times I've wanted to use Quinn?"

Santana and Brittany look at one another and try not to listen but the two are so loud they can't help it.

"Do you know how much I'm hurting?" Puck yells pointing at himself.

Quinn puts her head down ashamed and Puck scoffs.

"No. You didn't. And you didn't talk to me about how shitty you were feeling." Puck holds back tears. "I love you Quinn. And I want to be able to talk to you."

Puck walks over and puts a hand on her shoulder before leaving the room. When he walks downstairs he gives Santana and Brittany a look that says he knows they were listening.

Puck grabs his hoodie and leaves the house. As soon as he's gone Santana leaves the table and checks on Q.

She finds the small blonde curled around a pillow laying on her bed so Santana lays behind her and holds her.

"I fucked up." Quinn cries and Santana runs her hands through her blonde hair.

"All three of us did. In what world are we living in that Puck is the clean one?" San chuckles causing Quinn to follow.

"He's a good man." Quinn says.

"He is." Santana agrees. "And you're a good woman. You're the Santana to his Brittany. Or the other way around." San jokes.

"Puck would have to be you with all that bitchy whining you both do."

Brittany walks into the room. "The only whining she does is in the bedroom. Or is that begging?"

Quinn throws a pillow at her. "Gross. My poor ears."

Sofia runs in from behind Britt and reaches up towards Quinn so she can get on the bed. "Q! Q!"

Santana lights up hearing Sofia say Quinn's name. "That's right baby girl."

"Q!" She yells again.

Brittany walks over and gets on the bed with the other girls and lays her head in San's lap. Santana is surprised given how pissed Brittany was earlier but runs her hands through her hair enjoying the moment anyway.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santos has been surviving in jail but barely. Once he got placed Rosa pulled some strings and got him in a cell with a King named Juarez. No one knows his first name. Not even the guards.

He's a big motherfucker though and makes Santi feel safe.

"Watch out in the yard today, kid. Shit's going down." Juarez warns him.

Santi nods grimly and continues drawing in the book Santana sent him. He never knew he had the skill like his sister but this is all he's been doing in jail. Keeping his head down, running on the track, and drawing.

He goes to lunch and eats slow so he's one of the last to go out into the yard. When he's on his second lap the shit hits the fan.

The whites and the Kings start brawling and someone comes from behind Santi and tackles him to the ground.

The man hits him repeatedly and Santi tries to fight back but he's too small to over power the man.

It takes a few hard blows to the head before Santi passes out and wakes up in the hospital.

Santana, Quinn, Puck, and Brittany all came to visit him and Sofia is being watched by Mercedes. San trusts her now.

Santana is pissed. Santi was supposed to be protected. But she also knows how jail is and no matter who you know you're on your own.

"Who was it?" She asks as soon as she sees Santi's eyes open.

Santi coughs and winces. "Some fuck with AFFA tatted on his arm."

Quinn stiffens and they all look at her.

"What does that mean Q?" San asks.

Quinn gulps. "Angels forever, forever angels."

Santi sits up. "What the fuck is that?"

Santana answers for Quinn. "Hell's Angels."

Quinn nods. "And part of my father's bunch."


	37. Chapter 37

Quinn sits down in the visitors room of a prison in California and waits.

A large bald man comes shuffling in, his ankles and wrists shackled. It reminds her of visiting Santana in prison but she quickly pushes that memory to the back of her mind, she has things to get done.

The man sits down and sneers, "Who the hell are you?"

"Quinn fuckin' Fabray." She says dripping badassary.

The man's eyes widen. "F-Fabray?"

Quinn chuckles darkly. "Name ring a bell? So you left the Pagans for the Angels? I'll be sure to let my father know about this." Little does the man know her Dad's dead and even if he was alive she wouldn't be talking to him.

"You were there in that basement the night they got arrested. You saw what he's capable of and how much he hates Angel scum like you Rob."

The man gulps. "What do you want?"

Quinn smirks. "That kid you beat the shit out of gets whatever he wants from you and no one touches him again or you're dead. Am I clear?"

Rob nods quickly and Quinn signals for the guards telling them she's done. "Nice talkin' to ya." She says as she gets up and saunters out of the room. Even she can't believe she pulled that off.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana sits on the ground in Sofia's room cursing as she tries to put together a toddler bed. Brittany watches from the doorway chuckling and Santana huffs.

"You could help you know." Santana says frustrated.

"Nope. This is so much more fun."

Santana finally finds the piece she was looking for and cheers while throwing her hands in the air.

Brittany thinks she's adorable. The blonde comes behind Santana and massages her shoulders. Santana hums in contentment and her muscles go slack.

"Come on, let's take a nap with Sofie." Brittany says and Santana stands and walks to their bedroom with her blonde hand in hand.

Sof is peacefully sleeping surrounded by pillows on their bed because Santana moved the crib to replace it with the new bed.

They move the pillows and gently lay with their little girl as to not wake her. As the lay there Brittany plays with the little girl's hands and Santana strokes her hair.

"I want another baby." Brittany blurts out. "And I wanna carry it."

Santana's eyes bug out of her head. "W-what? Sofie's barely two."

"I want our kids to be close. Come on San remember how cute little baby feet are?"

"She still has little baby feet." Santana reasons.

"You know you want to. I remember the look on your face when you first held her in that abandoned house. You love babies."

It's true ever since Santi was left at the hell hole and she took care of him she's had a love for babies.

Santana huffs playing like she's against the idea. "Fine but we need to plan this. It's not gonna be as easy this time."

Brittany squeals and wakes the baby up.

"Mama." Sofia whines and Britt kisses her head.

"You're gonna be a big sister."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana is playing with Sofia on her day off while everyone at the house is on the property doing some type of work.

She notices the little girl's nose running so she walks to the other side of the living room to get a tissue and when she comes back she notices the coffee table drawer open and something in Sofia's hand.

Santana immediately recognizes the bag of heroin and her heart drops. Not wanting to startle her daughter and have the bag spill or something, she walks towards her slowly. "Can I see what you got there baby girl?" She asks sweetly and thankfully Sof hands it over.

Santana shoves the bag in her pocket and brings her daughter into her arms so grateful this is the one thing she decided not to put in her mouth.

After the initial shock wears off though it dawns on her that there are drugs in the house and if it wasn't hers, than whose is it?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

Santana decided not to accuse anyone just yet but she knows it wasn't Brittany because when she told the blonde Santana saw a look in her eyes that could be compared to a Mother lioness.

Instead they decide to go out and tell everyone that they want to have another baby.

Sam and Sugar join them and Mercedes watches the baby.

"So what's the big occasion guys?" Sugar asks snuggled up to Sam.

Santana looks to Brittany and nods signaling the big reveal. "We're going to try for another baby." Brittany announces beaming from ear to ear.

"I'll go get shots!" Puck yells excitedly.

He's gone for a while though and when he comes back Santana notices his pinned pupils.

"It was your dope you mother fucker!" Santana yells and jumps at Puck from across the table but Brittany holds her back.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Puck yells back.

"The dope in the coffee table was yours and Sofia got a hold of it the other day. You could've killed my daughter you dumb fuck!" Santana gets away from Brittany this time and punches Puck in the face making his nose bleed.

He covers it up and doesn't even try to deny it. He almost killed his niece.

"I suggest you go." Brittany says darkly half happy Santana punched him even though she's not one for violence.

Quinn has the most evil look of all. "After yelling at me like you did and you go and do this?" She asks in disbelief. "I don't want to see you at the house tonight."

"Where am I supposed to go?" Puck asks on the verge of tears.

"Figure it out." Quinn barks and Puck flees the table.

"Can we ever have a fucking peaceful night?" Quinn asks chugging her drink.

"No because apparently we're all allergic to normalcy." Brittany mutters.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx

"Ok. Who's splooge do we want?" Santana asks Brittany as they sit around a laptop looking at sperm donors.

"Santana that's not just splooge that's our baby."

"Ok. Ok. You're right. Well we need someone that looks like me, right?"

Brittany caresses Santana's face with the back of her hand thinking of how beautiful she is. "Of course. But I need to make a lady doctors appointment first to see if all my mechanics work."

"Can I…Can I maybe carry the next one?" Santana asks shyly ducking her head down.

"The next one?" Brittany asks surprised and excited. "I can't wait to see you pregnant and glowing."

"I don't think you could possibly get more beautiful sweets. But I can't wait to see you pregnant too."

"I love having a family with you. I'm so lucky to be able to come home to my gorgeous wife and beautiful child." Brittany admits with tears in her eyes.

"I'm the lucky one."


End file.
